The Writers' Group56,570 stories ·9,303 members
Oh god! The FEELS!1,953 stories ·939 members
Frost is taking over, and our hearts grow colder...
Shining and Cadence's relationship has been fine, right? That's what they've been telling everypony; that's what Cadence thinks. Still, Shining has been growing restless, the boring monotony of life cutting into him, and severing his heartstrings. When his love for Cadence is put to the test, a test that means life and death for the lives of many, Shining isn't sure that "fine" is going to cut it.
Dedicated to plumander.
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I think I shall read.
Nicely done! A rather creative treat to read today... kind of disturbing in a way to.
Great story man! I loved the detail, and the story line itself, very creative.
Whooooo...
Not bad, man. Very heavy and well done, indeed!
~Skeeter The Lurker
Thank you.
Your creativity never seems to amaze me. You don't have the best vocabulary nor the best style, but when it comes to your ideas, there aren't that many I would rank higher.
3946162 style and vocabulary comes from experience, of which I do not have
one day
one day
3946108 you're welcome
fucking awesome, your shit gets better and better all the time
3946168
Neither do I. Someday we'll all get there.
Well done. The tragedy tag fits this one. The ending was fantastic. It was definitely different to the normal Valentine's crap that gets uploaded. I loved this.
~ Decaf
3946179 I remember when we conversed this, all those months ago
This story is so filled with beauty I could read this over and over again.
3946251
Oh yea, glad it became an actual fic or something
Damn, dude. I feel bad for Cadence, but it sounds like Shining did try to keep things going. I guess it just turned out to be a bad pairing. This was very believable, from Shining's actions to Cadence's reasons for doing things the way she did. Great work, here, and quite a concept.
3946355 I would hardly call this beautiful
3946417 hehe, thanks.
Oddly, I feel as though I rushed this.
3946513
Well, the story is fairly short and it moves along quickly, so I could see how one might view it as rushed. It could be expanded a bit, sure, but I think it conveys the story effectively as it is. Dunno what could be added aside from padding, anyway.
Pretty good story. The concept was certainly intriguing, and I liked the ending a lot. It left a lot unsaid, and it was very powerful.
However, I couldn't help but feel that this story was incredibly rushed. There were a number of errors, mostly missing words, and there were a few sentences of awkward construction, but the real killer for me was the dialogue. It was okay when it was limited to just SA and Cadence, but there were a number of times where it just felt impossibly clunky and threw my immersion off entirely.
Interesting idea, but execution needs work. Consider getting an editor – the writing itself is mostly good, and I know you can do way better. •cough*Hospice*cough*
3947174 Yeah, I too felt it was rushed. I just wanted to give out something for V-Day
The ending, as mentioned before, was weak but the underlying narrative and motivations hit painfully, accurately, close to home. I... enjoyed it as a story, but ouch.
So thanks for that. :/
I know from experience that Windegos' backsides are extremely warm and fuzzy.
Fuck, that ending.
I can just imagine the Japanese characters for "IMPOTENCE" splashed across his face as be did that.
4036610
It's like a Japanese horror film ending.
SHINING....YOU CHEATER....DAMN YOU !!!!!!!!!