• Member Since 9th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen April 1st

dragonfang33


T

10 Years before the Battle of Reach, the Human-Covenant War rages out of control, with neither side gaining the upper hand. When a damaged Covenant Carrier, crash lands on Equestria, Ponykind finds itself drawn into the war when the Covenant attack, forcing them into an uneasy alliance with the Covenant's sworn enemy: Humanity

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 141 )

I will reserve this place for my thoughts when I read this later.

i don't wanna be a 'I'll read this later' comment, but i have to. Why do I leave a message at all, you ask? 'course I just had to leave this! cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/26923644.jpg I'll be back. :rainbowdetermined2:

So, are they anthro? they seem to be doing some pretty human movements.

'uneasy alliance'
reading this. :twistnerd:

Derpy as rainbow's sister ...ok I'll take it

wat the faq derpy is dashes sister :derpyderp2::rainbowhuh: dose not compute but it dose a little

1768993 wow you need to work on your grammar skill's a little bit, try watching movie's with subtitles, thats how i learnt to read.

"AIs don't joke captain," Elita replied, Ryan turned to the Admiral. so true but they can be such a bitches some time like in halo 4 with cortana or that floating ball in halo 3 and in red vs blue but the story is good im hopping for more

It sorta seems that you wrote Celestia's death as a shock factor kinda thing
but its good so far

Interesting, I eagerly wait for the next chapter. :rainbowkiss:

You have a LOT of run-on sentences...
Might wanna get that fixed

Princess Celestia, dead, just like that? Sorry, I don't like that, at all.
*goes to other parts of fimfiction*


Punctuation seems to be the main problem. You use too many run on sentences.

instillations
installations

Gods then that,
Gods than that,

his heart sink, slaves, Sangheili n
his hearts sink. Slaves. Sangheili n

glory in battle, there
glory in battle. There

three bags of cupcakes,"
three bags of cupcakes?"

spelling out UNSC MIDWAY
unless you can explain magic and why they understand human english, be careful. If anything, we haven’t seen English in the show. They use they our symbols.

"just sit here and let them gather their army for an attack on Ponyville."
"Just sit here and let them gather their army for an attack on Ponyville?!"

crevice, worst even
crevice. Worst, even

Rainbow Dash, were
Rainbow Dash. Were

know we was there,"
know we was there?"

h her statement
h her statement.

"What do ya'll mean by Holonet," Applejack inquired, "because if Twilight hasn't heard of it then we don't have it." Rhodes sighed.
"Humanity, us," Rhodes said, "have been at war with the Covenant for the last 20 years." The Ponies began to murmur amongst themselves, there were more Covenant and "Humans" then just the ships that were already here out amongst the stars, a war that had lasted for 20 years and both sides still kept killing each other? How could any species endure so much death and destruction for so long?

Holonet?"


people live like this,
people live like this?

Equestria is a country, not the planet, there are other races and kingdoms that you should take into account if you are throwing the ponies into the galactic stage.


They really haven't been shown the size of destruction and lose to really understand.

Plus the humans seem too trusting. Last time they made first contact they started this war.


If the ponies are angry, one soldier should point out that while they never intended to bring the war to them, their losses are nothing compared to the billions humanity has lost.

Interresting,
<s>I will read it soon, probably tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.</s>
k have readed it, even if I'm myself arn't a great Fan of Halo, this Story have potential to grow to an epic story.
And to all "taking down Celestia with one shot - > Buuuhh!!!" we do not know if she is realy death or just disappeared, with her migth you can easily tear a hole in the 'fabric of reality' and slip throw it because she didn't see an other chance to escape the enourmes among of Energie, probibly she reacted in some kind of disbeliving shock or the enourmes Power of the Canon together with her Magic and Magicabillitys caused an Crack in the 'fabric of reality' and she was suckt through it out of reality and now have found her self trapt between realitys and have no clue how to go back... and needed time to find out how to, or the Differenc beetwin the Timeroom qualitys is in it's kind that way, that she returned in her timeline immediatly, but in equestria have gone by days, weeks or month

<s>But one single question bevor that: what are or who are "Covenant", it's a bit to less info,, to realy get a fealing what is up.
Well we all know what a horribly bad decision a allianc with the most dangerously Incarnations of bloodthirst is... but what are the Covenant?
describe them in a few words, something arround three and twelve words.</s>

probably you should say "hey everypony, its a Halo Crossover!"

and sorry for my not so good english ^^"...

While i like your writting style alltogether your Aj and RD sounded off and it looked as if you rushed the first Canterlot scene. Also how are aliens and ponies able to communicate with ease? Aaand some descriptions for example on Covenant member race would add detail to story as well.

Hope the spirit of fire is involved

Killing Celestia in one shot? hmmm, on one side it shows the power of the Covenant and how even magic or a tier 6 species can't match a tier 2 army. On the other it was...too easy. We didn't saw magic against tech.

Take into account that they shouldn't be able to understand one another, their languages don't match.


----------

Don't abuse commas. Be careful of punctuation.


ARE TELLING ME TO CALM DOWN." ! exclamation.

"Girls please," Twilight said, emerging from her room, her eyes completely red because of all the crying she'd done. "Don't fight, at least not now." Twilight slowly walked past her friends, not even one of Pinkie's jokes could cheer her up, with Luna now in charge what would become of her, would Luna take her on as her own student, or would she simply let her go, payback for her humiliation as Nightmare Moon.

"Girls please," Twilight said, emerging from her room, her eyes completely red because of all the crying she'd done. "Don't fight, at least not now." Twilight slowly walked past her friends, not even one of Pinkie's jokes could cheer her up. With Luna now in charge various questions were on her mind. What would become of her? Would Luna take her on as her own student? Or would she simply let her go, payback for her humiliation as Nightmare Moon?

And immediately Spike somehow reads her mind.

Night," the tone of his voice became more serious, "besides she's our Queen now, and she's ordered us to locate that second spaceship."
Night." The tone of his voice became more serious. "Besides she's our Queen now, and she's ordered us to locate that second spaceship."

Bbbut
B-but

Any news on my sister,
Any news on my sister?

Though Derpy doesn't even look related to Dash, so maybe including that would feel out of place.

Rainbow and Derpy? Sisters? I don't think that's accurate... Great story, though!

Comment posted by Anonymous_AiE deleted Dec 10th, 2012

Too much 'groaning' and 'coldly'. Groaning is a deep, inarticulate sound made in pain or despair. Coldly is saying something without affection or warmth of feeling; unemotionally or sternly.

1771790
You do know that the spirit of fire is floating in the middle of nowhere in space right?

English needs to be worked on and the chapters need to be edited but otherwise this is awesome :pinkiehappy: i don't really like how Luna got insta used to Celestia being dead and how Cadence and her are Cousins though

Interesting I must read later :twilightsmile:

1774871its a chance that the spirit of fire can pick up its comunication. its just that it lost the hyperdrive which takes time

I noticed some erroneous word substitutions:
synapse -- synopsis
hostel -- hostile
contempt -- content ("contempt with the way things had been")
barriers -- bearers ("barriers of the Elements of Harmony")
Queen Shinning Sun -- I presume this should be Shining
whiling -- willing
In form -- Inform ("In form all hands to prepare for battle", "in form thy sister")


Also, as a general rule, questions should have question marks.
(""What about the ship's weapons," the Arbiter inquired." among many other examples. Should be "weapons?")

Aside from mechanical criticism, one compaint I had was Thel's assumption that just because there are fragments under the city, the city builders must have done the fragmenting. Why did he jump to that conclusion?

Celestia dies!? :fluttercry:

Now if you excuse me I need to play some halo and kill some covenant :pinkiecrazy:

-Kiryu :moustache:

This is perhaps one of the best fanfictions i have ever had the pleasure of reading :pinkiehappy:

The Celestia "death" thing caught me off guard. I was all like...:rainbowhuh: YOU KILLED CELLY!!! NOOOOOO!!!!! :raritycry:. Seriously though, its pretty good. I really hope Celly isn't dead... you mind letting off a spoiler for me?:raritywink:

1775631
It's highly unlikely they're going to be in this but it's possible.

1777654

...................What makes you say that :pinkiegasp:

1777731
Cause it's not likely but still possible to include them.

I require moar to fufill mah needs

1771638
And don't forget Fluttershy's excessive stuttering in there. And the incorrect use of stuttering. While it's: "PPPplease" It should be: "P-p-p-please"

1768255 thy story hath peaked our royal interest we look forward to more and we leave thee with this message to give to lady twilight sparkle and her friends ahem we bringth thy news that we shall exterminate the covenant armada and that there destruction is the will of all the innocent ponies dying at the hands of the covenant please rest easy for they will be destroyed...soon....end transmission.

every soldier on this page report to your halo gaming battle stations


good day to you sir and have a pinkie pie smile and a mustache :pinkiehappy::moustache::twilightsmile::flutterrage::rainbowdetermined2:

seriously though good story so far look forward to more

1775442 actualy, them being cousins makes sense, seeing as they are the only three (correction two) alicorns in Equestria.

1781086 Celestia and Luna are her aunties though

o well that makes slightly more sense.1781128

1779262 Grimm Spartan reporting ready. LET THE SLAUGHTER COMMENCE.

(Takes plasma grenade to head) ok slaughter will re-commence as soon as i re-spawn.

1781128

Cousins often refur to an elder Cousin a Aunt or Uncle

1782640 in what Europe? because thats new to me,

1771666

Covenant: An alliance of alien races that consists of Prophets (San 'Shyumm), Elites, (Sangheili) Brutes (Jiralhanae), Engineers (Huragok) Drones (Yanme'e) Jackles/Skirmishers (Kig-Yar), Hunters (Mgalekgolo), and Grunts (Unggoy). United by their religous fantacism, and led by the Three Heriarchs The Prophets of Truth (the primary antagonist of HALO) Regret and Mercy,

1786777

After Reading the Story it became clear, ^^" but, well in my language the Covenant have a not totaly different name but if your translate it... well it matches like Apple matches Pear.
^^"

1776604

To the Covenant Forerunner Artifacts are sacred, and the very foundation of their religion, to destroy any is an act of war and grounds for the offending creatures to be exterminated.

1781150 don't worry ill lay down cover fire, head around the enemy and stick them with this (pulling out combustion grenade) and lastly hit them with the rocket launcher over there by the crate.

die covanent bastards aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I'm sorry but I can not just see the UNSC allied with Equestria

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