- Member Since 30th Nov, 2012
- offline last seen Sep 17th, 2023
Phil Ken Sebben
I used to write stories but don't anymore. Ha Ha! Permanent hiatus.
Phil Ken Sebben
Joined 30th Nov, 2012 ·
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11/10
Would read again.
I read the first part.
"rain starts pouring harder. t's not" < it's
"Friend. Huh." < all thoughts should be in italic, it is just easier.
Go into a little more detail I would say.
I am sorry but I am going to dislike it because you hurt Fluttershy. You bitch.
1718356
Sorry. New to this place. All of this was converted from greentext, so I'm not used to having all these extra options.
And if it makes you feel better, Fluttershy was my favorite pony at the time this was written.
1718360
Use google docs to do your work. Get some proof reader to help you with your work to.
I would say steer clear of sex and rape.
Plus don't make the character if a second person or first person blow his load in a paragraph this small
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You need SOME realism ;)
1718369
The rape was just to see if I could elicit feelings from people, without killing the ponies. That seemed too easy, and I generally have a "no killing" rule for mane characters. (lolpunz) I actually only wanted to write the first part, Bird Watching, and end it, but the rest was from constant requests.
As for the guy climaxing so fast, I wasn't trying to focus on the sex itself, since none of this was meant to be sexy. So I didn't drag it out.
Lastly, the quality is poor because I'm not a great writer, but also because this is my earlier stuff and I hadn't written anything for years prior. Bird Watching is probably the worst in terms of syntax, but if you read the rest, I DO get better.
Thank you for the helpful input.
AWWWW SHIEEEEET, BRAINHORN.
1718513
It's the motherfucking Lulzies
Ah, this one. This is among the more touching AiE stories I've read, mainly because of the ending. Possession might seem kind of a cop out at first, but we've had 'corrupting alicorn amulet' just now, so screw that.
It's actually a little difficult to keep track of all the good AiE on Pastebin, honestly, since some writers up and vanish, and the new guys one never hears about!
Rape story where Anon fucks Fluttershys brains out. No wonder this has so many down votes. Well written but fucking awful.
what the fuck
And so it begins. Excellent...
Story in itself was fucking awful. The ending had a nice twist though. Well written, but rape fics are still awful. Would have been 8/10 but imma have to give it 7/10 just because Anon starved himself to death at the end. Story was enjoyable and I might even read it again.
Good job all around.
This is fucking horrible what you did to fluttershy.... *proceeds to read moar*
1720060 You imply you dont like it and yet... here you are....
1721031
I just delete unhelpful comments like that.
I don't care if you don't like the story. I don't really EXPECT people to "enjoy" it. Just downvote and be on your way. If you feel the need to TELL me you don't like my story, give me a real reason why.
Great to see you're stuff has migrated from just the threads. Hopefully you'll be writing more often.
1721058 I actually upvoted it, I meant awful as in "rape stories are awful". I said the story was well written and I might read it again. Read the whole comment before assuming something.
1721668
I'm assuming? I wasn't even talking about your posts, seeing as I left all of them on here.
I was speaking generally, about the people who just posted one word of spam, or a picture complaining about the content and nothing more.
1721698 Ok sorry bout' that. You replied to the guy that replied to my comment, thats why I thought you were directly referring to me.
this was funny.
1723459
It gets that reaction sometimes.
1723478 Don't most rape fics?
Funny and silly but the ending was way too obvious. Still liked it.
Time for some red velvet cupcakes
Damn you.
Just out of curiosity why is the filly the only one who sees him as more than a friend?
Wanted for questioning. Sounds more like Molestia
They are much more forgiving, in our world it wouldn't matter if you were being directly mind controlled, the punishments still exist
At first I was like, WHAT THE HELL MAN! Regardless, I could not stop reading. Faved and up-voted
1724775
Because she was drunk.
Also, I TRIED to make it clear that Derpy liked him, too, but I guess I didn't.
Too simplistic for me to call it a good story. It also seems to very strongly escalate the further it went, if that was because of the "possesion" or someone getting used to what he was writing, I was unsure. I didnt downvote the story because I barly ever see a reason to, but I do well any story with a chapter below 1k words should be rethought and writen.(There also was not much of a plot, or characters, the ending was unimplied(for all but the escalation) and felt like a copout. Not terrible, but ambitionless.
And no, I am not saying this because it is a rape story. I am probably one of the few people who legmiatly enjoys reading well writen and executed rape stories, but this just felt like an unguided first effort.(though you got me to comment on it.. just because these are rather rare stories to see)
1731342
It actually WAS an unguided first effort. I really didn't put a lot of thought into them and just wrote them as I went along. Not the best thing to do, I know, but hey, this was some of the first things I wrote.
And yeah, I wrote this over the course of about a month, so in my opinion, my skills grew a little as I went on.
Sorry you didn't like it more, but I'm glad you didn't hate it.
1731360 The fact that you didn't rage makes me have more faith in you then some writers I have seen. Considering you admit to it being a first effort and without plan I don't hold the story against you. If I seemed harsh or sounded like I wanted you to stop writing I am sorry. I do think you should continue writing more(I saw you already have a 2nd story up, good) and shouldn't let anyone tell you otherwhise, but still keep up to reading feedback and critique, it certainly helps with becoming better.
(Personally I also think that if you are able to find some proofreader or just someone you know who is willing to read your story and give some heartfelt and honest feedback before posting a story up that could also go a long way to improving.)
Goodluck
I honestly never get tired of reading this.
1737321
Oh hey. Didn't know you were on here! Small world.
I WILL FIND YOU. I WILL VIOLENTLY RAPE YOU. YOU WILL FEEL THE PAIN THAT BEST PONY HAS SUFFERED. YOU ARE DEAD TO ME.
I thought you would stop at child rape. I THOUGHT WRONG YOU MONSTER.
1778769
Who is best pony?
I say Scootaloo, but out of the mane 6, Twilight.
1778769
Mad. All the mads.
Dat Rape. poor twilight
"Come at me, Rainbro[img]th.jpg[/img]
What....Da....Hell.....
*clicks next chapter button*
Again.....Da....Hell...
Sweet Celestia! What....Da....Buck....Derpy too!?
I think I'm done reading this....
Sorry
1851847
It's not for everyone.
And, yeah, I know what you mean. Writing that Derpy chapter made me feel terrible.
i like the story up till THE END then i read on..YOU DICK she is not ok at the tree house At night no less....Best troll fic ever..if thats what you were trying to do that is.
the fuck i just read? Now i know your trollin ...But this is really good you should start writing more story's any think really this is a clop fic buts its not really a good one its two fast so it seems more like a ..speed run then anything i like this .but i dont really like the plot if he really does go insane that be great take a hostage pony and try and fight the ponys Not just the main 6ix maybe you should add a killing spree to.
Now this is making hope for more..IS a cliff hanger?
1896491
It's not a troll fic and it's not a clop fic. Clop is supposed to be sexy; none of this is meant to be sexy.
I agree with Decapodicus, the child tape was too far, even for a troll fic