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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Yesss, the ancient Lunaverse otp crackship rises from the abyss...
Yes. Hell yes. Hell ing yes.
*looks to the recondmended stories list* Why in the bloody Celestia is my fic reconmended in the similar story list? My story is christmas related, not a romantic comedy!
Um....anyway.
I look at theseheat stories and think to myself "I wonder if I should do them for the show as an actual episode or something silly" because I love them so much.
:o
Instant follow, of course.
Great opening chapter!
If I had any critiques it would be that some of the early exposition felt a tad too much and that near the end Trixie's manner of speech felt oddly... I'm not sure what exactly, somehow slightly off in some places, too prompt or proper maybe? Sorry.
But those are both minor quibbles, overall I thought the opening chapter was great, very enjoyable, smooth pacing and Raindrops dipping into fantasy and freaking out was hilarious and sympathetic. Trixie's characterization came across well and I especially liked her attempt to support Raindrops when she saw she was worried, somehow hearing Raindrops Amore, sounded great. Plus Raindrop's "just fine with that' attitude was well articulated and left both characters feeling fitting and identifiable.
Good
I'm French, so I can translate what you meant to say if you want.
I like this.
Long ago, a prophecy came to me. A wise one said that a certain event such as this one might occur. It seems that he was correct. All I can say is...
YEAH, BABY, YEAH!
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As well it should, as its one of RDD's most hilariously good works. I only hope to do it some manner of justice with this humble attempt at a sequel.
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Indeed. Thank you.
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I don't know what it is about the concept of "heat" but its a funny concept to try and write. Awkward, but fun.
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Thanks. Just hope I can do some justice to the amazing work you did on the previous story.
5651669
No need to apologize at all, I appreciate the critique. I think what happened here was that I've been reading this one science fiction series, the Miles Vorkosigan series, quite a bit lately. I think I read two books just this past week alone. The main character, Miles, speaks a bit like that; quick and proper. Willing to bet some of his character voice ended up sneaking into Trixie's as I was writing this chapter.
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Thank you.
5656342
Sure, I'd appreciate that. I can only get so far with Google translations.
5657197
Happy to hear it.
5658123
Don't know if I rate a prophecy but I'll sure as heck try my best.
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Wow that is an impressive reading pace. Anyway that makes a good amount of sense, I've heard lots of authors run into that, usually when it happens to me it's less character voices and more settings melding, like a subtle urban fantasy suddenly becomes DBZ though XD
MLP pony hooves are weird. On the one hand we as authors try to never forget that they're basically made of a really thick version of what makes fingernails. They're keratin and not soft by any means. On the other hand, we like to imagine that they can be quite soft if the scene warrants it.
Just one of those fandom things.
Real horse heat doesn't quite work like it tends to amongst the MLP fandom...but I actually like the way the fandom handles it. Each author has their own reasons for why, of course, but for me it's because I'm a big sci-fi geek and I just find it fun to write about something humans don't really have a concept of but which for MLP ponies is just an everyday, often forgettable fact of life. The just-slightly-alien perspective is fun to write.
More hilariousness: for humans, this would be super awkward.
Thanks, Cheerilee, you just made me remember my least favorite level of Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles - the Killing Desert Of Killer Cacti That Killed You.
Think you meant "heat" here. There's a few spelling mistakes here and there but this is the only one that really leaped out.
Dear Trixie - No. That is to say, I in fact know several spells. One does not live forty thousand years without a goodly bit of experimentation in just about every field, and magic is no different. Having said that, no, I will not teach you a spell to make a copy of yourself willing to have sex with Raindrops. That will just end up leading to pain and tears down the road. Probably you will each learn a valuable lesson about yourselves in the process before the episode ends ambiguously. Well, that's not going to happen. You're going to actually deal with this problem. No shortcuts.
Shutterburg, actually
Aw, I really feel for Trixie and RD here. You did a great job with getting the reader to empathize with both sides of their issue. Getting ready for the feels to come when they realize what the other was really going through all this time (possibly at the "climax" of the story? )
The only big problem i have with this story is that sex isn't involved, no actual mention of body parts or even vulgar words. It should be teen since its hinting. Otherwise it should contain roughly any of that so it could be a mature story
No, the Great and Powerful Trixie does NOT want a bigger penis!
Good
5737725
But if she gives her bank account number to a prince in Neighrobi...
5735493
Sort of comes with the nature of the cartoon, where physical traits aren't pinned down by the laws of physics and logic all the time. I like to think a pony's emotional state actually has a physical effect on their body's overall hardness, including the hooves.
I admit I have no idea how a horse's actual estrus cycle works. I'm just working off of how it seemed to be for Trixie in your story, where it just overclocks the libido, cranking up sex drive to eleven.
Ah, got it fixed. Heh, its kind of unfortunate, but Raindrops' parents haven't shown up enough for me to really be able to remember names or appearances.
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A fair point, and all I can say is that I tagged this story as I have because I may well be getting more explicit with this the further the story goes. Its just a matter of covering my bases so I don't have to worry about changing the tags later.
5737725
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Or worse, she finds the piles of clopfiction that Lyra has written over the years.
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Thanks.
as she forced herself to breath slowly
wasn’t going away. it was a steady heat
Through most of Cheerilee’s information was a number of years out of date
Trixie knew whatever it was it had t be bad
1. Breathe.
2. Forgot to capitalise.
3. Though.
4. To.
Yes, all of my yes. The ship must sail forth. Heck, I would go so far as to demand them be formally married and continue on the note where RDD left off just because I love continuity like that.
start to massage Trixie’s back, losing those delicate muscles underneath velvety fur
No thinking of those incredibly socks Trixie had
struck one of several boulders
I, you’re Dedicated and Dutiful Trixie
Trixie, its not that simple
Raindrops said sharply,flatly, and in a tone
I’ll see how i feel by then
not a mare going through perfectly normal heat phase
she was relatively young compared ot her friends
Raindrops hd been right
you see its that time
Maybe once a week would do he trick
The word slide like a hot arrow straight to her heart
gasping not just in pleasure but in relife
through she’d stopped reading it and mentally inserting herself and Trixie into the narrative
1. Start to massage Trixie’s back, loosening those delicate muscles underneath her velvety fur.
2. Incredible.
3. Struck one of the several boulders.
4. Your.
5. It's.
6. Forgot your spacing here.
7. Forgot to capitalise.
8. Not a mare going through a perfectly normal heat phase.
9. To.
10. Had.
11. It's.
12. The.
13. Slid.
14. Relief.
15. Though, Inserted.
And her mother never found those books because...? I assume it's either she knows but does nothing or she doesn't know because Raindrops just makes her own room and etc.
Hmm... If Trixie is disgusted by the word and act of sex, what does she think of Sexy? Arguably one thing can lead to another but still end up in Sex Base. Now that just sounded weird.
Kinda surprised about the titles some of Equestria's books have. Eldritch Knight? Makes me think of Chuthulu or something.
I suddenly wonder what would happen if Raindrops and Trixie got mindswapped? Both would be super out of their element. And Trixie might end up destroying Raindrops liver with her stress drinking. Probably. Moght be stopped by her own body inhabited by Raindrops though. Gahh, why do I go off on tangents?
all over the place,and I kind of
‘Good, good, hmm
“Snails, sweetie, who's at the door?”called the voice
Its Miss Trixie, mom
she doesn’t already?I didn’t even think
1. Forgot your spacing.
2. Meant to put a quotation mark.
3. Forgot your spacing here too.
4. It's.
5. And another spacing apparently.
I can just purely imagine the situation and the frankness of it all when Raindrops opened that bag. It's so hilarious and adorable at the same time.
WHAT.
YES.
I APPROVE OF THIS.
Now that I think about it, Trixie's hat is a great thing to hyperventilate into, at least for gag purposes. I think I had Carrot Top do it once. Not sure why I've never done it elsewhere...
Hang in there, girls! And sorry for writing a crack fic that ultimately put you in this situation to begin with!
Wow, Pinkie certainly gets around doesn't she, I wonder if she's got any other jobs around town, and if she ever finds time to sleep?
I can imagine her showing off the merchandise.
"And this one is of Princely size," the pink pony gave an exaggerated wink, "believe me I know!"
I was waiting for Snails to get his hooves on that bag, and start talking about the great toy worms, or maybe prove to be rather more knowledgeable than you might expect.
Aww! Raindrop's really has it bad.
It's the gift that keeps on giving.
It is really great to see how far Trixie is willing to go outside of her comfort zone for her marefriend.
Wooow, I wasn't actually expecting to ever see this update again. Pleasantly surprised. This chapter was wonderful, shows a lot of how much Trixie really cares for Raindrop, but just how much she is mentally fighting with herself over it. The short dialogue between Trixie and Raindrops's mother was amusing to boot.
I wonder what/if Trixie/Raindrops will find as a solution. It would be sad to see Trixie just leave after dropping her gift off. I am looking forward to the next chapter. : )
Hey, glad to see this update. Appropriate timing too. It'll be weird reading clop, personally, but I've faith that you can pull it off tastefully and in service to the characters. Trixie and Raindrops' relationship in this fic is so sweet and endearing, I loved that bit of Trixie yelling at Luna. Classic romcom.
I’m asking if you can havve sex with Raindrops
awful for Raindrops that’d it seriously hurt the
Trixie was out of option
and its a problem I can’t solve for you
and best of all she’s so unbelievable affectionate that just being
So if there’s a bucking magical method to give my marefriend the
said Luna after a moment of starring at Trixie
seemed to relaize she’d just been yelling
especially if its magic that alters my mind in some way
a way to connect my.. my emotions to the clone
The magician
ofwas off like a blueberry from a slingshotThey just seemed to impersonal
I just worry. That’s mother’s job
1. Have.
2. That it'd.
3. Options.
4. It's.
5. Unbelievably.
6. Extra spacing near the end.
7. Staring.
8. Realize.
9. It's.
10. Frogot one more fullstop to make an ellipses.
11. Extra Of.
12. Too.
13. That's a mother's job.
Oh don't worry, I do very much believe you can make it so awkward that it seems natural. Naturally awkward? Awkwardly natural? Both work.
Now showing at the local XXX theatre: Sunshower Raindrops and Trixie Lulamoon in Two Mares, One Cup...
It lives! And things get interesting...
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Gross. Thankfully I've avoided ever seeing that video, even partially.
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You're lucky. Curiosity got the better of my wife one snow day when the reaction videos were viral, and she thought "How bad could it possibly be?"
Great update
Looks like I might be beaten to the first Lunaverse sex scene unless I really pull out the stops in Mountain.
*Glances at the chapter outlines*
Nope not going to happen for a while.
Great chapter.
Oh, hey, it's the annual update!
Also, yay, they figured something out. :)
Yay! Happy to see this wrap up, it was such a sweet story, I love this pairing.
Guess you could say Trixie had some sexy dreams.
Really sweet. I like that it updates on Valentine's, that's thematically appropriate. Too bad it makes the update schedule look like that lol but I guess that's the trade-off.
I always loved the idea of Lunaverse Luladrops, so I'm glad you're still fighting the good fight with this fic. 👍
Right. Have to get over my depression right now, it's helping no one. Story about Raindrops and Trixie being awkward and having sex will surely be enough.
I'm going to admit it's actually bothing me how much wings are being used like hands in the show these days. Given how much Lauren Faust hated seeing the ponies in human-like poses for one promotional poster, I imagine that she must hate it too.
Good plan, actually! Possibly somewhat less effective than it would be with a human, though, due to the whole different anatomy and ponies keeping their teats so near to their genitals (not that the ears and neck aren't good places too, plus the fandom's conviction that pegasus wings can be sensitive). Still, nice to see that Trixie has more of a plan than to just sit on the side and not watch, which would definitely give off the wrong message.
A whole year is nearly as long as it's been since I've updated anything of mine, so don't worry about it. I needed the laughs - and the sweetness - this offered a lot.
It lives! Awsome chapter after all this time too.
Aye, twas a wonderful trip indeed... Loving you for having wrote this story.
Can't think of much else except just smirking like an idiot for this ending really.
Hey man, I think you did a really respectful job on the asexual aspect of this story and chapter. It was a sweet story and enjoyable even if clop's not my thing usually.
Very fun and cute story. Great job.
This was great, and the ending here was just perfect. I've enjoyed reading this immensely. Keep up the good work!
Super wholesome ending, kudos!
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Thanks, I was always pretty happy with the way this story turned out.