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  • 62w, 11h
    Pony BESM Attribute: Musical Number!

    First bit of new Pony BESM stuff, the most complex new attribute I created. Fittingly, it was made for Pinkie Pie.

    Musical Number (1/level): You have the ability to sing a random song out of nowhere. Singing a song requires a Performing Arts (Singing) check. On the first round of singing, you must use your action for the round to start the song; on subsequent rounds you can continue the song without using up an action, but you must make another Performing Arts (Singing) check at a cumulative 1-point penalty. Starting a new song takes a new action, but resets the penalty.

    Example: Pinkie Pie has Performing Arts (Singing) 2, and Soul 9. She decides to sing a musical number and maintain it as long as she can. On the first turn, she has to use her action to start the song; there are no difficulty modifiers, so her target number is her Soul stat plus her Performing Arts level plus a bonus for the Singing specialization, 9+2+1=12, a guaranteed success. On the second turn, she can take other actions while continuing to sing, but her target number drops by one to 11. She rolls a 12, however, so her song falters and does not provide any effects this round. On the third turn, she starts a new song, and the target number goes back to 12.

    Pick a song from the following list for each level of Musical Number you possess. You can only sing one song at a time, and must end the previous song before starting a new one (except for Crowd Song, which works differently from the others). The song types are:

    *Duet: You help a friend by singing together with them. If you succeed at the Performing Arts (Singing) check, they receive a one-point bonus to one roll this turn.

    *“I Want” Song: Sing about your hopes and dreams and destiny. If you succeed at your Performing Arts (Singing) check, you can reroll any one failed roll before the beginning of your next turn.

    *“I Am” Song: Sing about who you are and where you come from. If you succeed at your Performing Arts (Singing) check, restore 5 HP, plus a number of HP equal to your degree of success.

    *Encouraging Song: Sing a song to cheer up your listeners! If you succeed at your Performing Arts (Singing) check, they (but not you) restore 5 EP, plus a number of EP equal to your degree of success. (This is the TOTAL number they receive, not each. You decide how to split the EP up between them.)

    *“The Villain Sucks” Song: Sing about how nasty and awful someone is to bring them down. If you succeed at an opposed check, your Performing Arts (Singing) vs. their Mind Shield/Soul, you can force them to reroll one successful roll before the beginning of your next turn.

    *Villain Song: Intimidate your listeners with a song about how evil, cunning, and dangerous you are. If you succeed at an opposed check, you Performing Arts (Singing) vs. their Mind Shield/Soul, you can apply a one-point penalty to any roll they attempt before the beginning of your next turn.

    *Crowd Song: Sing along, everypony! Starting on the second turn of any other Musical Number, you can declare it to be a Crowd Song. Everyone listening must join in the song (if they choose to resist, they must first roll against your Performing Arts (Singing) with a Mind Shield/Soul roll). Since it’s the second round or later, everyone involved in the song can still take their normal actions while singing, and you receive a bonus to your Performing Arts (Singing) check for the round based on the number of participants:

    1 additional participant: 1-point bonus

    2-5 additional participants: 2-point bonus

    6-20 additional participants: 3-point bonus

    21-50 additional participants: 4-point bonus

    51-100 additional participants: 5-point bonus

    More than 100 participants: 6-point bonus

    The Crowd Song does impact the effect of the current song, both for opposed rolls like a Villain Song, and rolls to determine how much of an effect something like an Encouraging Song has. Once someone joins in, they keep participating in the song until either it ends, or they successfully roll to resist. As a result, Crowd Songs can last a lot longer than other types of songs.

    Optional rule: At the GM’s discretion, they may give a player an additional 1-point bonus on their Performing Arts (Singing) check if they can actually come up with and sing a spontaneous song.

    0 comments · 77 views
  • 63w, 1d
    Been a while, huh?

    Sorry about that. The overwhelming majority of my pony-related energies have been going to my analysis blog, My Little Pomo. Especially lately, since I've been working on a (massively expanded--it's about twice as long as the original posts) book version of my coverage of the first season. Speaking of which, the Kickstarter for that book has about 40 hours left. We're already past goal, but there's still stretch goals to be made. If you'd like a nice, fun-yet-academically-flavored book you can pull out in arguments or cite in college papers, toss in some cash and you can get in on the first run of copies.

    The Jackelope Valley Festival has a new update today, so that's cool. I'm hoping to get more done soon, but then I always am, aren't I?

    I have some Pony BESM stuff I can post, but unfortunately I don't have access to it at the moment. Give me a few days.

    My other story ideas are in limbo, no idea if or when I'll work on them. In all probability, I will not tackle the Lunaverse again, or if I do it will be a 'Webisode' or non-canon short, not a full-length canon story. I have an idea for a big pony-related epic, but I don't know if I want to attempt it given how slowly Jackelope has progressed.

    3 comments · 53 views
  • 98w, 4d
    BESM Ponies 1: Cutie Marks and Blank Flanks

    Big Eyes, Small Mouths Second Edition is an out-of-print anime RPG known for being extremely flexible and adaptable, but easy to break. It has fairly involved character creation, but the actual gameplay is pretty simple (character creation is about 4/5 of the rule book). I love it, and I've decided to develop some rules for playing ponies in it. To do this, I'm creating some custom attributes and templates. For this project, I'm assuming you have a copy of the book; if not, I'm sure you can find the rules online somewhere. I found a quick guide that has the basics here, but you'd really need a copy of the full rulebook to run a game.

    Today I'm going to discuss cutie marks, which I'm implementing as an Attribute.

    Cutie Mark (1-5 character points per level): You possess a special talent in which you excel. On taking the Cutie Mark, identify both the talent and the mark which symbolizes it (both subject to GM approval). Subtract your level of Cutie Mark from any rolls involving your special talent. (Remember, lower rolls are better in BESM).

    The cost per level of Cutie Mark varies depending on how widely applicable the special talent is:

    • 1/level: The special talent is usually only applicable to a few non-combat rolls which only rarely come up in normal play, such as apple farming.

    • 2/level: The special talent is applicable to a variety of non-combat rolls, none of which occur frequently, or applicable to a narrow selection of rolls which come up frequently, such as  carpentry.

    • 3/level: The special talent is applicable to a variety of non-combat rolls, some or all of which come of frequently, such as parties.

    • 4/level: The special talent is applicable to a variety of non-combat rolls and/or a narrow selection of combat rolls, such as stunts.

    • 5/level: The special talent is applicable to a wide variety of combat and non-combat rolls, and/or is deemed very powerful by the GM, such as speed or magic.

    Note that the specific cost of a talent may vary according to the type of game. In a game focused on competing in agricultural fairs, Cutie Mark (Apple Farming) might be 5 points per level!

    In the show, cutie marks are an important and powerful feature of pony life. Every adult pony has one, and they symbolize a special talent in which that pony excels. For gameplay purposes, I merged the mark and the special talent into a single attribute, with the cost varying according to how useful the GM thinks your special talent is.

    Note that (unlike a similarly prominent tattoo on a human) cutie marks do NOT automatically give you the Marked defect, because everypony has a cutie mark, and some ponies even have the same cutie mark. However, if you had a very distinctive cutie mark, that might justify taking Marked (the 1-BP version, since it's relatively easy to conceal).

    Now, what if you want to play a pony that hasn't yet found her cutie mark?

    Blank Flank (4 character points per level): You have not yet discovered your special talent. All ponies with this attribute must take Marked -1 (Blank Flank) and Ageism -1 to represent that ponies regard acquiring a cutie mark as a rite of passage. At some point during the game, the GM identifies your special talent, but does not tell the player (it is recommended for the GM to wait at least a couple of sessions, in order to get to know the character and identify an appropriate talent). At this point, the GM begins applying the talent to rolls as appropriate (see the Cutie Mark attribute), again without telling the player. If the player guesses the talent (or something suitably close to have received the same bonuses), then after a successful roll that receives the Blank Flank bonus, the attribute is removed and replaced by the Cutie Mark attribute. For each level of Blank Flank the character possesses, the player receives 4 points; the first two must be spent to remove the Marked (Blank Flank) and Ageism defects, and all others must be spent on the Cutie Mark attribute. Any leftover points can be combined with future character advancement points, but only for purposes of increasing the level of the Cutie Mark attribute.

    This one's a bit complicated, I'm afraid. It's modeled on the Unknown Superhuman Power attribute from (IIRC) the El Hazard supplement, but tweaked to take into account the fact that blank flanks face prejudice. Basically, this is a way of putting character points in storage to spend on your cutie mark later. So, for example, imagine if the show were a BESM game, and Sweetie Bell were a player character. When her player first made her character, he put four points in Blank Flank. As he plays, he has Sweetie Bell sing a lot, so the GM secretly decides that's her special talent and starts sneakily giving her bonuses on singing rolls. Eventually, the player correctly guesses singing as her talent, and replaces the Blank Flank attribute with Cutie Mark (Singing), with a microphone as her cutie mark.

    Since singing isn't that critical to the campaign, it costs 1 point per level, so after spending two points to get rid of her Marked and Ageism defects, her player is able to get her Level 2. From now on, Sweetie Bell gets a -2 bonus to any roll involving singing.

    It's important for the GM to make sure that, whatever the blank flank's special talent is, they have enough points to buy at least one level of Cutie Mark once they discover it. For example, if they have Blank Flank level 1, they will only get 2 points to spend on Cutie Mark after they buy off their defects, so they can't have a special talent that costs more than 2 points per level. If they had Blank Flank level 2, however, that would be 6 points, which is enough to buy 1 level of even the most expensive special talent.

    0 comments · 162 views
  • 98w, 6d
    Progressing Pony Projects

    Current status of stories (all Lunaverse):

    Jackelope Valley Festival: I just put up chapter three. Ended up only meeting one Daughter of Discord. Next chapter we'll meet the rest and the story will really start rolling.

    Untitled 1: No progress on giant spider story. Still uncertain about writing it or how to approach it.

    The Old Gray Mayor Ain't What She Used to Be: On hold, since it's definitely a second season story

    Longest Night: Everypony's Day: About 30% done with Vinyl Scratch's Day, but I took a break to work on Jackelope. I'll most likely finish it this weekend.

    Other Pony Projects:

    My Little Po-Mo: Latest article: Honey, Rarity thinks everything's uncouth (Look Before You Sleep), in which I talk about class issues, gender essentialism, and kyriarchy. (Anybody who says MLP is escapist isn't paying attention). I've also written the next post, in which I shred the heck out of "Bridle Gossip," but I want to give it another read before I post it Sunday.

    Pony BESM: Haven't worked on this since the last post.

    0 comments · 122 views
  • 100w, 3d
    Blogging!

    I'm going to use this to track my progress on stories for FiMFiction as well as other pony-related projects.

    Current status of stories (all Lunaverse):

    Jackelope Valley Festival: I just put up chapter two. Next chapter we'll meet the Daughters of Discord, and then the chapter after that the story really gets started.

    Untitled 1: I'm cooking up an idea involving Ditzy, Carrot Top, and giant spiders. Not sure if I'm going to try for canon status, and if I do, whether I'm going to try for first or second season. Either way, it needs more time to cook before I start sharing any details.

    The Old Gray Mayor Ain't What She Used to Be: On hold, since it's definitely a second season story.

    Other Pony Projects:

    My Little Po-Mo: Just put up a new article, I'm the monster (Dragonshy). For the first time, I've included a vlog as part of it.

    Pony BESM: I've created templates for Pegasus, Unicorn, Earth Pony, and Crystal Pony, as well as a Foal template that can be added to any of the other four. I've also created Cutie Mark, Blank Flank, and Emotional Projection attributes. All I need to do to have a playable game is decide on the correct skill availabilities and costs for Equestria, though I'm still considering making templates for some of the other creatures in the show that could conceivably be playable, particularly dragons and griffins.

    0 comments · 50 views
  • ...
 190
 1,323

Lunaverse story. A thousand years ago, Corona cursed Jackelope Valley, and it has never rained there since. Now the barren desert is the site of an annual music festival that celebrates up-and-coming artists--and Lyra's been invited to play! When Raindrops learns that her favorite band, the Daughters of Discord, are playing, she comes along as well... but soon after arriving, the two stumble upon the last living Jackelope. What should have been a week of fun and music turns into a race against time and the pitiless sun as the two ponies, aided by DJ Pon3 and the guitarist pegasus Thunder Axe, struggle to save the Jackelope's life...

"OC" to refers to Thunder Axe and assorted background/minor characters.

First Published
20th Nov 2012
Last Modified
23rd May 2014

Ooh, intriguing. I like it so far.

A few continuity things:

1. Snowflake is currently wandering around Equestria with Twilight (in the 'Elements of Insanity' tie-in story), so he couldn't be on the Ponyville weather patrol. (The other canon pony with her right now is Sheriff Silverstar, by the way).

2. As funny as it is, I don't think Raindrops would threaten her friend Lyra like that.

3. Given what happened the last time Berry Punch was at a food competition in Trottingham, she'd probably make a comment about Bonbon's venue choice. :-)

I like the shout-out to Octavia recommending Lyra to take her place; that would seem to go back to the LNEPD story (which mentions that Octavia has tried to help out Lyra and her career ever since she graduated).

Love Vinyl's introduction here. A bit surprised her student didn't tag along to yell goodbye on the platform, but maybe Bebop just likes to sleep in. Then again, I could see that cluttering the scene.

I liked the lead in with the jackelope though I have a hard time with first/semi first person and it seemed a little contradictory at certain points as I had a bit of difficutly telling who was narrating, but that could very well be me.

Loved the start with, poor Raindrops ranting to Berry and then Lyra chiming in, :pinkiehappy:

Feel a bit concerned about/for Dash's portrayal, but only a teensy bit.

"Aw, c'mon," said Lyra. "This is a big deal for me. Cream sodas for everyone!"

Everpony would probably work better but that's a tiny thing.  I saw others namely anyone instead of anypony ETC.

Quite liked Raindrops's reaction to the Daughter of Discord, it's nice to see her so excited and it suits Lyra to take a friend like that, loyalty and all that.

loved the "we don't leave for tow days" bit :twilightsmile:

Though please be careful not to over do it with Raindrops's love of the band once she meets them, that's a suggestion, and please feel free to ignore it, sorry :)

I actually like the idea of Raindrops packing lots not like she doesn't have the strength for it anyway.

The ending felt a little awkward/maybe a little rushed and seemed to lack a bit of detail/scenery anyway it was a solid lead into a flashback/explanation.

Overall this was a quick, but very enjoyable and well written chapter and lead into therest of the fic/next chapter, so I liked it, have a Fluttershy :yay:

"Because I'm going to Jackelope Valley!" Lyra announced.

...

Raindrops blinked. "That... is that some kind of... thing with Bon-Bon?"

:rainbowlaugh:

"Uh, actually," said Lyra, "Bon-Bon's got the Trottingham Chocolate Festival to get ready for, so..." So I was going to ask Cheerilee, but... "I take it you're a Daughters of Discord fan?"

"I can have hobbies! Who says I can't?"

:rainbowlaugh:

The only flaw I noticed with this chapter is that Moondance was the alter-ego assumed by Zizanie in "File under 'I' for 'Impossible'", who had apparently died in a train crash some months earlier, and wasn't a musician regardless.

Oh, and on a stylistic note, the intro bit in italics, I would personally cleanly seperate from the rest with some asterisks or a line or something.

Oh, yes, and one more thing:

When in the season do you want this story to take place? Remember that the open slots can place this story just about anywhere before Ep. 25. I recommend setting it before "The Hero of Oaten," so that'd make it Episde 16, and set it during mid-spring. Sound good? (the choice is still yours)

>>1613569; Octavia already has her royal appointment, so that would place it after Symphony.

I like. Keep this up dood.

>>1613516

Made your edits. My thinking was that Bebop isn't around because it's midmorning on a school day. Okay, really my thinking was that I forgot Bebop existed, but NOW my thinking is that it's midmorning on a school day. I'm glad you like Vinyl's introduction. I'm a little worried about writing her--I expanded her lines a bit when I revised, and I'm not sure I have a good sense of her voice. I tried watching Epic Wub Time a loop, but everything Vinyl Scratch says sounds like "blah blah I am too young and need to get off Froborr's lawn" to me. :facehoof:

>>1613527

Keep in mind, this is Raindrop's impression of Dash. I expect it's not quite as bad as Raindrop is making it out to be. I expanded the scenes on the platform and in the train a little bit, but I do want to get them out of the way; the story really starts in Chapter Two. And I plan for Raindrops to have a not-so-great first meeting with her favorite band; they're under a lot of stress and are a little bit jerk-ish to her.

>>1613569

Changed the names of all three past acts, based on suggestions from a couple of people.

As GrassAndClouds said, the story takes place after Symphony. After that, it can be pretty much any time.

Other changes:

I decided that planned future events work better if Vinyl Scratch is not an official participant, but just a techie, so I changed that. I also expanded her lines a bit, as I mentioned.

I'm glad everybody seems to like it so far... onward to Chapter Two..!

>>1618520

Good point about it being her impression, ah poor Raindrops, she never can catch a break, still I'll be looking forward to it next chapter! :pinkiehappy:

thank you i wanted to see more group interaction that didn't involve trixie

Really very fun.  Ending kind of petered out a little but the start was incredibly strong.  Very nice start for this story and am anxious to see more.

Ah, they're off to the Burning Mane festival.  Have fun!  Pack lots of water!

>>1628593

BURNING MANE! That is the perfect freaking name, why did I not think of that!

some of which eventually found its way onto the waffles.

...wow. OK that went kinky -> fake out -> kinky fake out. Well played sir, well played.:duck:

Also, crystal core? Is that this worlds version of Heavy Metal? Why did it get that name, I'm actually rather curious as a metal fan myself.

>>1633857

:trollestia: I'm glad somebody commented on the waffles bit, I enjoyed that.

As for why it's called crystalcore... you'll find out in chapter three.:scootangel:

Remaining quite an entertaining story.  Perhaps, a bit short on this chapter as I would've liked to see it go a little longer, but overall flowed well.  Wow that was truly one of the darkest things we've seen Corona really do whether in the past or present and it was nicely tied into her power set too so very nice on that.  Thanks very much for sharing and I look forward to reading the next.

Edit: Oh my and I got first for this chapter.  I'm supposed to say something obnoxious aren't I? Umm...YEAH SUMPONYITCHES I'S BEAT VAZAK BY 6 SECONDS YO! ...Yeah there we go.

All right new chapter! :pinkiehappy:

I liked the discussion at the start and closing the shades and discussion of curses, all ways the little detail like that that make a fic.

The Jackelope song is certainly interesting, ooh and I loved Raindrops trying to chime in with science over poetry.:pinkiehappy:

Vynle scratch professional :trollestia:

Overall a short but good chapter that I was happy to read! :twilightsmile:

Also, since I love you all, have a picture of Awesome Sauce, lead singer and bassist for the Daughters of Discord.

>>1636336

Daughters of Discord, looks like a stallion :derpytongue2:

Love that cutie mark and the mohawk just works so well.

>>1636568

Nah, just a taller and buffer than usual mare. I guess it's a little unusual for mares in the show to have hooves like that, too, but I like them.

I'd make the other three members, but one's a crystal pony and I don't know of a pony maker that can do that, I can't find art for the cutie mark of one of the pegasi, and I haven't decided what the other pegasus looks like.

>>1637790

ah ok then! :pinkiehappy:

I like them too and Zecora has them and there was probably a background pony who had them but I doubt I'd know them. :twilightblush:

Just this one is perfectly fine,k ooh looking forward to the crystal pony, hmm ideas :yay:

Also sorry but wouldn't Raindrops be a little more weirded out by a place where it never rains? then again she's hardly defined by only that characteristic so don't worry, looking forward to the next chapter. :pinkiehappy:

>>1637790 You could say the red is actually paint. To make it look like she bludgeoned an enemy to death with her hooves and they're now all bloody!!!

>>1637813

Raindrops is definitely weirded out by the place, but that's part of why she had to be the one to come with Lyra.

>>1638191

Hoof polish, I like it.

>>1638364

I'll be looking forward to seeing more of her reaction then.  :twilightsmile:

Nice use of music here. I like when Lyra gets a chance to show off her musical prowess.

No such thing as curses, eh? I suppose when they say things like that, events such as those in Foalish Misadventures are inevitable. :-)

As to the poem:

In days of old when Sun and Moon

Still both brought to us hope

Before the Sun betrayed us all

There lived the jackelope

The lord of fire in the earth

And earth beneath the sea

Of water in the airs above

And beast in the pony

It looks like you're going for an 8-6 syllable structure, with the pattern of 'unstressed-stressed-unstressed-stressed' syllables.  It mostly works, but there's a few rough spots.

"Still both brought to us hope," is awkward. It's a Yoda-fication of the sentence, and it doesn't fit well with the rest of the verse. It feels forced.

"And beast in the pony" has the right number of syllables but not the right stressing. "Beast" and "Pone" are stressed, so it goes unstressed-stress-unstressed-unstressed-stressed-unstressed. The double unstressed syllable part makes the line feel shorter than usual, too short to fit the rhythm. It's also unclear what it actually means; is the jackelope lord of the 'ponyness' of ponies?

The Lyra/Raindrops discussion about rain is great. Also like the implication that Raindrops might have something of an intellectual bent, or at least paid attention in school. We haven't seen that side of her before.

"The truth tell me, o creature: how

Sun can absorb the Moon?

This also seems a bit Yoda-fied. I think "Tell me the truth, o creature: how/Can Sun absorb the Moon?" Works better.

The four themes twined together, and Raindrops saw Luna, her wings spreading wider and wider, great shadows of night that enfolded the entire valley--but fire stormed down from the sun and burned through her wings. The Moon theme faltered, and the jackelope themes sobbed softly as the Sun theme rampaged over them. The valley shriveled and burned, the lake boiling, the flowers and grasses consumed in the blaze. At last the torrent of flame ended, leaving a desolate waste, and the Sun theme faded away. All that remained of the music was a soft, mournful echo of the jackelope's themes, now broken apart and dying away.

Nice. Very nice. I love this paragraph.

Yet still we sing who still recall

And mourn the jackelope

I get what this means, but the phrasing is awkward. If that's a deliberate choice, to emphasize the confusion in the wake of the jackalope's destruction, awesome. If not, consider: "Yet we still sing, we still recall/And mourn the jackelope."

A bit surprised that Vinyl believes that the valley is weird and Lyra doesn't; as Lyra's the bard who loves legends and tales, I'd think that would be flipped.

Lyra's mostly been shown playing classical music before. Which isn't to say that she can't do folk also, but Raindrops or Vinyl might be curious as to why she's doing folk instead of classical -- especially as her two big shows in Canterlot (in 'Helping Hands' and 'Through the Fire and Flame' were both classical, at least as far as I know).

Not really a big fan of using 'bucking' as an epithet. I don't think we've done that before, and while it's funny, it goes against the image of the Lunaverse as being an actual show from an alternate universe.

Intrigued by Vinyl being a skeptic. It strikes me that we don't know what, exactly, she was doing during Longest Night Longest Day. She wasn't in the episode, or in the side-stories Longest Night Everypony's Day (which so far feature Blueblood, Octavia, Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash, the Apples, and the Riches and Silvers). Hey, someone should totally write an LNEPD story about Vinyl; that fic's still open for submissions. :-)

>>1638897

Thanks for the comments!

Twilight says there's no such thing as curses in "Bridle Gossip," so I'm assuming that's common knowledge among magically trained unicorns. Of course, common knowledge often turns out to be wrong...

I'll fiddle with the song; I was going for traditional English ballad structure (alternating iambic tetrameter and iambic trimeter with rhymes on the trimeter lines) and I definitely did force it at times. I haven't written poetry since college, which is WAY longer ago than I like to think about, and it shows.

My thinking on Lyra's skepticism is that she's *trained* in legends and tales. She not only knows the stories, but the histories of the stories--which ones are based on historical events as opposed to made up to flatter an influential noble or entertain a crowd, and the fact that there's no evidence of the Ballad of Jackelope Valley being anywhere near as old as the events it describes, and the lack of any earlier descriptions, makes it very suspect in her eyes. Vinyl Scratch, on the other hand, has BEEN to the valley, so she *knows* it's weird.

I could have sworn I'd seen "bucking" used somewhere around here, but in hindsight it might have been on the forum rather than in a story.

Intrigued by Vinyl being a skeptic. It strikes me that we don't know what, exactly, she was doing during Longest Night Longest Day. She wasn't in the episode, or in the side-stories Longest Night Everypony's Day (which so far feature Blueblood, Octavia, Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash, the Apples, and the Riches and Silvers). Hey, someone should totally write an LNEPD story about Vinyl; that fic's still open for submissions. :-)

Seriously considering taking a crack at that, because apparently I am a glutton for punishment. (I'm finding Vinyl Scratch the hardest of the three to write; Raindrops and Lyra just flow but VS I have to push.)

My thinking on VS has changed rapidly in the course of writing this chapter. Originally she was just going to be kind of insane in a harmless-but-annoying way, sort of like a toned-down Pinkie Pie. Her Epic Wub Time characterization, basically. Then I was going to make her more actively troll-ish. Originally her comments about Corona not existing were in the middle of the chapter, not the end, and involved Lyra being reluctant to say the name at midday, and VS more-or-less tricking her into doing it. I changed it because it seemed out-of-character for Lyra to be that afraid of Corona, but it had the side effect of making VS seem like less of a jerk, which in hindsight is probably a good thing.

Now I'm considering making VS a bit conspiracy-minded. She's got a bit of an anarchist flair, likes to buck the rules when she can get away with it, occasionally rants about the Mare (pony equivalent to the Man), that sort of thing.

>>1639026: I like the last characterization. It also fits well with what we came up with on the boards. (If you haven't seen the threads, there was a very popular idea that Vinyl is the daughter of Fancy and his first wife. Vinyl doesn't know that her dad is the head of the Shadowbolts/an elite spy/Batpony-equivalent, but does know that he's a high-up political fellow, and isn't all too keen on that. Hence her 'rebellion' by being a party DJ instead of following her father into politics. Fancy, of course, just wants Vinyl to be happy and so isn't phased by this rebellion at all... to Vinyl's irritation. :-D  ).

>>1639223

Ooh, interesting. I went and tracked down the thread, and yes, that all works well together.

The one thing I think I'd like to add to her character is that she's a couple of years older than the L!6, and she and Octavia were roommates at college.

>>1639392: The age thing works, although I'd personally shy away from the roommates thing. It's a bit much for all the musicians to know each other, and so far we've been staying away from any of the usual Octy/Vinyl shipping/roommates/rivals/etc. There was a reference in an early draft of Musicians and Dreamers to Vinyl showing up at the Music Academy for an impromptu party, but that was redacted for similar reasons (Emeral raised the issues, and I wound up agreeing with him).

At least personally, I think it'd be best if the only interaction so far between the two was when Octy and Lyra did a jam session in Vinyl's studio in Ponyville.

>>1639429

Fair enough. It doesn't change anything I'm working on, so I'll leave it in personal headcanon and out of any stories.

Ya know this story is great but maybe you should hit the submission button so it gets public?

Vinyl Scratch shrugged. "If I believed everything I saw, I'd be crazy," she said.

That would make for some very interesting LDLN for Vinyl, if she was taking the "4:20 Friendship Express" through Ponyville when the tyrant sun came to call.

>>1644711

the "4:20 Friendship Express" through Ponyville

My fiancee wishes to give you a brohoof. We both agree, best euphemism ever.

I think I'm probably going to have to write an LDLN for Vinyl at this point, but it'll be REALLY HARD. She's definitely the hardest-to-write character in this story.

>>1640966

Is that how that works? I'm not really clear on the difference between published and submitted...

>>1647150: When a chapter is published, then people can see it if you give them a link to the chapter or the story. It won't show up on searches.

When you click 'submit', then the mods look at it. If they approve it, then people can see all your published chapters through searches or browsing the site. People who didn't see your link in the brainstorming thread will be able to find it.

>>1647150 Publish button lets other reads chapter, it also lets you update, but to make a story public (so it comes up on searches or on your profile page) you first need to get it submitted. On the story may page there should be a 'submit' button near the add chapter button. Press that and it'll go through the approval process. After it's gone through it and waited in the queue it'll be public and you'll be able to add it to the Lunaverse and the Raindrops Needs More Love group! :pinkiehappy:

Updated the chapter based on the comments I got, and also Published the story.

Very nice so far. I'm intrigued by what you're setting up.

Also, the lead singer has the symbol of team Dai-Gurren as her cutie mark?:rainbowlaugh:

>>1655999

Thanks!

And yes, yes she does. I'm pretty sure if she ever meets Pokey Pierce it'll trigger Spiral Nemesis and destroy the universe. :rainbowlaugh:

>>1656762 Probably. What kind of talent would that represent anyway?:rainbowhuh: Being awesome?:rainbowdetermined2: Going beyond the impossible?:trixieshiftright: Pilotting giant robots?:duck:

>>1656795

Spiral energy!

So, all of the above. :pinkiehappy:

>>1647150

I would totally take an acid trip angle on the thing, and chalk it with a bunch of forshadowing and dancing with the draconequis about phliosophy and such, but with my track record, it's probably in better hands with you.

>>1659867

It's really tempting, but... drug use. I don't think it really fits the canon. Also I don't think I could write it well.

That's why I think you should write the non-canon version where she's high as a kite.

>>1660046

You do yours, I think I can work the bulk of mine into another project. Saul Good. :raritywink:

>>1660566

Cool. I'm probably going to do mine tonight, but it might take me longer than one night.

I'm really enjoying this so far! The legend of the Jackelopes has just the right folk legend feel, while fitting in with well-known fact about how and when Corona did stuff. Gotta feel bad for the poor critters.

Crystalcore, I love it. :pinkiehappy: Good beginning, here.

Ooh, poor jackalopes. :( I can see Corona doing that, too. A legend and a song... but they all come from somewhere, right?

>>1630874 Ah yes, Burning Mane. A wonderful name. Wait, doesn't somepony have a burning mane? Oh, right. Corona. Might not want to have that particular connotation...

So... guess who has two thumbs and just accidentally, irretrievably deleted everything he had written of Chapter Three so far?  :raritycry:

>>1696467

If Burning Mane existed, it would be much more hardcore and countercultural than Jackelope Valley. Probably held outside Equestria proper, in one of the Hegemony states.

#49 · 98w, 6d ago · · · Three: Crystaphony ·

Nicely done.  Still a bit short but I'm really enjoying the story being told.  Nice work.

#50 · 98w, 6d ago · · · Three: Crystaphony ·

Well, after the disappointment with the Gala story, this was a breath of fresh air.

I really enjoyed the scene between Lyra and Carda. It actually makes me interested to see how the Lunaverse implements the Crystal Ponies more. And since this inevitably ends with a diatribe that RDD yells at me for, I'll leave it at that. I also love your interpretation of Raindrops, from her snoring to her fangirling over the Daughters of Discord.

Keep up the good work. :twilightsmile:

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