• Member Since 24th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Wise Cracker


Just some guy, riding out his time.

Comments ( 200 )

I have been waiting for this one... Good show man.:scootangel:

A bit worried about the romance, but other then that, it's goodfic.Only worried about the romance, 'cause it might take away from what makes this goodfic. The characters dealing with interesting situations, and being themselves.

I wouldn't worry about Twilight noticing bigger wings, it's the other pegasi... oh, and Pinkie, she sees all...:pinkiehappy:

1523956
Keep in mind it's not finished yet, not by a long shot. The prologue is just the appetiser, the whole story will be posted one chapter per week after it's done. We're just testing the waters for now. And the water's fine! :yay:

1524018
Characters dealing with interesting situations is exactly what you can expect. It's the situations that might surprise you :scootangel:. But trust me: the romance is critical to the story and development.

1525185
Urge to spoil chapter 1 rising, rising...let's just say pies are involved and leave it at that.

Okay, I shall trust you!

Quorum Sensing sequel? Where the hell was I? Whatever, just happy it exists.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Scootaloo_lolface.png

1633956
And now the long wait for this twinned series to be written. :pinkiesad2:

1667828
Aww, you guys are going to make me feel bad. If it's any consolation, I'll be writing one of the key scenes to the story this weekend. And I need to ask Moon Fire about his half, too. You do know that it's two sequels, right?

1668905
I did use the term "Twinned", so yes. That said, you might want to move the link to the other fic to a point above the break. Not everypony is going to click the "More" link, after all.

“Did you get everything we need?” Apple Bloom started as her friend walked through the door.

“I got the herbs from the market, but they ran out of eggs, so I laid some myself.”

Two pairs of eyes stared at her blankly.

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

As far as the rating goes, this doesn't even fit teen yet; try to incorporate more mature themes next chapter.

2056387
As I said, this is just the prologue. The mature scenes start around chapter 3, and trust me... you'll know why I went with that rating then.

SPOILER ALERT!!!



“So…” Twilight started, “no other changes?”
-Yep, definitely good to have her on the case... I wonder when she will stop ONLY thinking in terms of "little foal needs help" and start also thinking in terms of "data useful for Equestria's defenses". She could be thinking that now, she could have her brother or mentor point it out later, or she might never think that way. We certainly haven't seen her running tests on Spike, although I would say it is possible she does so "off screen" after the events of "The Secret of My Excess" and "Dragon Quest", if only for his own benefit. She certainly needed his cooperation to make his Tux and top hat out of a vine and a rock in... "Feeling Pinkie Keen" I think it was?

The library was closed for the public at the moment, a necessity to get the facts straight in private.
-Makes sense.

No little wounds or cuts you can’t explain?
-Degridation from mismatched biology, or a reluctance to feed? Maybe nicking herself with her horn? In either case, it seems like Twilight has something specific in mind as a possibility. I don't know if you are familiar with the fanon from "Freefall", but it would be interesting (and a little sad) to have to see Scootaloo wear a "unicorn protective device" (IE a rubber ball) on her horn when sleeping, or even whenever she HAS a horn. Which makes me think... has she been going out in public with her new form, got the trick to shapeshifting that much, or is she hiding under illusions and clothing? I doubt the last given her attitude at the end of the previous story, and I think she walked out of the clubhouse fairly casually.

Is the crusading any different?
-I would imagine not much, except that MAYBE Scootaloo picks fewer of the activities.

“Well...”
-Then again, they may have been causing even more chaos than usual, or even temporarily change into the "Changeling Powers Exploration Club".

but they ran out of eggs, so I laid some myself.
-*Snerk*... not sure if literal... but at least she can joke about it...

a little payback was more than overdue.
-Ah, so that is how she sees it... and not literal... probably. If it is, that is impressive levels of shapeshifting...

‘Apple quiche’,” Sweetie Belle narrated, “can’t be that hard.”
-I THINK quiche is actually kinda difficult?

Some time later, the walls had an eggy stickiness to them, there were pieces of apple strewn over the stove, and somehow a few apple seeds had managed to find their way into the ceiling,
-Expected results for Crusading.

along with an odd green slime.
-Scootaloo accidentally producing the stuff Changelings use to stick ponies to the floors and/or the fluid the fill their prison bubbles/chrysali with?

The seeds looked pretty comfy, embedded up that high.
-Not sure what this sentence is supposed to convey. I will note that now that she can fly, Scootaloo MAY be on ceiling cleaning duty, although holding a mop in her mouth while hovering might be above her level of skill. Then again the first thing she did flying-wise was hover, so...

The slime was new, though.
-Good way to make sure the readers notice it.

“If anyone asks: Sweetie Belle, your magic flared up,” Scootaloo started.
-And my guess is confirmed. I wonder what practical uses it has? I can't see her making a house out of it (when she moves out), although that would certainly be UNIQUE, and many of Ponyvilles buildings are theme architecture. I think Scootaloo will probably want to emphasize her radical sports aspect more than her genetic quirk though... Same for putting an extension on Vinyl's house or the clubhouse. All in all, secretion crafting just doesn't seem like it will be high on her list of "Things I need to learn", although Twilight may eventually want her to do a little just so they can get a better idea of how changelings do it. Of course, she might not have the right hooves for it...

“Scootaloo: you brought a thundercloud in the house and that got the apple seeds in the ceiling,” Sweetie Belle replied, “And Apple Bloom -”
-Part of their excuse? Or the actual truth?

The only real difference is now I can make sticky stuff instead of just landing in it.
-*Snerk* She may go in for crafting it after all... maybe in the way of coil-built or otherwise non-wheel pottery/ceramic? Or even on a pottery wheel? Why not?

Yeah, word of advice: don’t wear any expensive clothes until you can get the hang of that, or at least stock up on lemons.
-Wait, they know how it works that well?

It took princess Celestia weeks to get that stuff out of her mane, not to mention what it did to her carpets.”
-Ah, I see... which might mean Scootaloo can't do the stuff that hardens yet...

For some reason, she felt that this sort of conversation would mean something very different if she were a little older.
-I... don't think that stains, but then again, I don't really know.

Twilight narrowed her eyes in sympathy
-Missing period.

“Yeah.” The girl bit her lip at that.
-"Have you been practicing your Shapeshifting?"? "Have you been feeding? If so, tell me all about it."? "Getting any strange urges? Voices in your head?"(IE from the rest of the Changelings)?

“It’s okay. No one’s gonna see but us. You know your secret’s safe,”
-Ah, either she HAS been hiding her "true form", and Twilight is checking if it has drifted, OR the question is "have you been working on your shapeshifting"... or it could be another of her changeling powers, maybe tuning into the hive (if they have long-range telepathy or whatever), or maybe even horn-magic.

putting a check whenever Twilight said something she’d apparently planned to say.
-Yep... checklists, part of Twilight. At least he isn't also taking notes for science...

Green flames tickled over her body as her very soul felt like it jumped from one pillar to another, first falling into an abyss, then landing safely and just standing still.
-That is a very weird analogy, but maybe that underscores how weird it feels to her.

Orange fur made way for black plates of keratin and a smooth skin, her mane made way for something that resembled a web but kept the colours, and her wings evaporated to form two hyaline protrusions.
-If it were me (and it isn't, so feel free to tell me "Yeah, I am NEVER doing that.") I would turn "hyaline" into a hyperlink... come to that "air superiority blue" could maybe be the same. Basically, I am a fan of stealth education, even at the adult level, and consider myself to have a large enough vocabulary that anything I need to look up is at least somewhat obscure. I recommend against footnotes, as, for a story, putting them at the end of the paragraph can be distracting (and require a bit of scrolling for longer paragraphs, but you may not have as many of those as I do. Footnotes are technically impossible since there isn't a "bottom of the page" in non-pagiated text and going with "end of scene" is just not even worth attempting IMHO. Chapter notes require too much scrolling (causing the place to be lost, unless the person has two tabs open, which could work if you had a separate, growing chapter that you always keep at the end* and explicitly add a note at the beginning of the story to do so (or in the long-form description).
*Now possible due to updates to the way chapters work here, although you have to remember to hit the "save" button on the list of chapters.

“Well, you might still get those, actually,”
-At the rate of growth (like new teeth, or the developments of puberty?), or as an additional phase of transformation? I wonder if that is part of the "Mature" rating... probably not. It is probably going to be approaching it more from the perspective of Love than Anatomy. Or, if anatomy is the issue, it will be the possibility/reality she really CAN turn into a colt rather than comparing her changes in body and thinking to that of puberty.

That means you’ll have to learn to fake all the abilities a pegasus pony has, if you want to keep this a secret.
-So she will have to relearn cloud-walking?

It also means that even your basic shape can change even without using that green flame magic.
-Intentionally, or as part of an ongoing metamorphosis? If so, fine-tuning her shapechanging to maintain a consistent hybrid form COULD be good, but since she isn't using such a form in public anyway, I don't think it is an issue. I wonder if she needs a mirror or spotter to make sure that she doesn't have any errors when shifting into her old form?

I haven’t gotten tired of staying in one shape yet, and I really don’t want ponies to go calling me a ‘bug’ or something.
-Hard to get tired of it when you haven't really given other forms a chance... but maybe she has, at least with Twilight's supervision? I said on the other story why that could be necessary to keep her from doing something she would regret to SS and DT.

The filly rolled her eyes at the thought. Snips and Snails would never let her live this down, not to mention Diamond Tiara.
-Err... double-check anything I say about extraneous spaces... you may just be using double spaces between sentences. Also, I don't know that Snips and Snails are that sort of pony, but I guess there is no reason they couldn't be in your fanon.

Bugs have triangular bodies and sucking mouth parts, you clearly have a rounded body and chewing mouth parts. If anything, you’re more of a beetle than a bug.
-I was unaware that "bug" was a precisely defined term that didn't include all insects...

Actually, would you mind growing an extra pair of legs? I think I’m going to need my notes on this.
-Ok, so she is willing to study her... and this sentence is one of those that makes perfect sense in context, but at the same time, is still funny it how odd it is. I wonder if Spike will tell her to back it down a notch? Also, if Changelings haven't been classified, that implies a certain lack of knowledge about them. Then again, her 100 book order may not have arrived, or she may not have anywhere to hide said 100 books to make sure it doesn't get people thinking in the wrong directions.

That train of thought got derailed by the sound of a baby dragon clearing his throat. Spike was not amused at the turn this conversation was taking, for reasons that took Twilight one or two logical steps to figure out.
-Did she work out why Scootaloo would be less than happy to be classified between such options, or did she further reason why SPIKE wouldn't be happy at the prospect of her studying a the only member of a given species that is available for close-range, long-term study?

“This will be your personal diary.
-I wonder if Twilight expects to be allowed to read it? At the very least, having it published 0, 20, or after all ponies alive at the time after SCOOTALOO'S death could be better than nothing for science.

Try running some energy into the lock and say ‘Open’.”
-Good to see it has good security. Then again, such things can't be that uncommon, and definitely exist, given the vault that the Elements are kept in. Sidenote: I go with the fanon I heard on forum.rpg.net that Celestia's knowing she could open the vault when Chrysalis laid her out wasn't because she had altered the lock, nor that she had even per se taught Twilight how to do so. It was just that she knows that Twilight only needs to see most spells once to perfectly replicate them. The fanon says this applies to her teleportation (Nightmare Moon), Rarity's gem-finding spell, and the "Hatred and Fear" magic from the Crystal Empire episodes. Also, I assume this is "neutral" horn magic? Or something a bit more generic than that, that any pony has?

It can tell the difference between Earth pony magic, pegasus magic,
-Well, that answers that question... also implies it may be linked to her being a changeling/alicorn (for sufficiently tiny values of "alicorn), more than to her personally... or at least that is part of how it identifies her. Or maybe it just IDs her as "unicorn" and then the "fingerprint" (hornprint?) of her personal magic.

it knows only you can open it.
-This seems like a typo since I doubt the book is sentient.

I’m not sure if other changelings can force it open, but either way you can record things privately in that.
-Again, don't THINK I accidentally read ahead, but you never can tell. In any case I doubt it would stand up to a grinding wheel (the sort that works like a spinning wheel, if nothing more high-tech than that)... then again, Twilight made it. The thing may be capable of stopping crossbow bolts without getting a scratch, having the house burn down around it without singeing, and/or resisting the best abrasive cutting technology known to mankind. I would mention high-speed diamond grinding, but those are actually a bit weak against iron alloys, because the microscopic-level points of contact tend to get hot enough that the carbon in the diamonds decides to depart from its crystalline structure to turn the steel into steel of a higher carbon level.

“Umm, thanks, but…I don’t really have that much stuff to write about, do I?” Scoots narrowed her eyes in thought.
-No, actually, you probably do. You have gone through a major disruption, and figuring out how you are going to handle it is going to probably be an issue sooner or later. Of course, too much chitinous-navel-contemplating might make such a crisis of the soul happen faster... or maybe it won't be a crisis, but a journey of philosophical self-discovery... well, for "young and normally hyperactive foal" levels of "philosophical"...

“You will now,” Twilight replied, “now that you have a horn and a magic that’s…I guess close to a unicorn’s, you should make a note of the important things that happen in the day, and any progress you make when you start practising spells.
-"practicing". Also, I wonder if Sweetie Belle keeps such a diary, if it is because she got it later in life, or is just Twilight projecting her own needs as a filly onto her?

Besides that, there’s something a little more practical to consider.
-I wonder if we are going to get into "value to future generations", and/or "current scientific value".

Something a little more unpleasant, I’m afraid.”
-"Unpleasant"? The thing that most fits that bill is that she might develop some sort of medical problem that would require a record of her development to figure out how to treat it. She IS undergoing a process that hasn't been seen in centuries... Althought that makes me wonder if the metamorphosis thing predates Celestia, and if not, how much she can recall about changelings in general and/or transformees in specific. I wonder what your origin for Chrysalis is? Anyway, point being that even though the sciences would be much cruder back in those days, the Diarchs might know some things... of course, the same could be applied to dragons. On the third hoof, maybe Celestia intentionally kept Twilight away from such books (including making sure none were in the library), so that she wouldn't be tempted to treat Spike like a research subject (more than she already does?). In any case, the diary may be intended as an aid to other foals who might be going through the same thing in the future, especially if the Changelings try to return, at least to the fringes of Equestria.

“See, princess Celestia had to be informed as well.”
-While I was scrolling through (before I went to two tabs), I accidentally read something about Scootaloo not being classified as an enemy of the state.I guess that reply has already been sent, and Twilight just hadn't shown it to Scootaloo. In any case I could see Twilight freaking out about that a little, and thus freaking Scootaloo out, for similar reasons as she freaked out in "A Bird in the Hoof". She has had similar fears on a more directly personal (rather than on behalf of other ponies) as recently as "The Crystal Empire, Part 2".

“Obviously.”
-Well, that is pretty non-chalant of Scootaloo... actually I would add some facial expressions or something to give Scootaloo's emotional state (including lack of one) as she says this.

“And she pointed out that if anything bad ever happened involving -- you know -- other changelings, it could get really confusing, really quickly.”
-Invading followers of Chrysalis, or other transformees? In either case you get a potential witch hunt, and the more proof you have on record that Scootaloo is not a threat, the better for EVERYPONY.

“So I just don’t turn into any other ponies. No biggie.”
-Well, that could help... and as I said, the idea of a shapeshifting Scootaloo has certain... worrying implications. At the same time, it is an ability she has, and it isn't fair to expect her to never use it for the rest of her life. In addition, there might be other ways she could be found out, which could, in many ways, be even worse.

“I think you and I both know that’s a temptation you won’t be able to avoid.”
-That too...

We all know you can learn to handle that responsibility.
-There may be some hiccups along the way... this is a CMC member we are talking about... she doesn't have the best impulse control or planning abilities.

But while you do, keeping track of where you’ve been and with whom will help us figure things out if there’s ever any misunderstandings.
-Oh, I see... in case DT tries to vandalize something she would normally have any reason to (or even something of her own or her parent's), and then claim it is a frame-job by Scootaloo, just to get her in trouble... and that is one of the BETTER scenarios.

So keep track of witnesses or you get blamed for everything, got it,” Scootaloo summed up with the hint of a hiss.
-That an insectal hiss? And... yes, that about sums it up. So I can see how this is serious, yet manageable.

“Nothing quite so drastic, but yes, that’s the long and short of it.
-Good to know...

Since you’ll be able to use magic now, you should keep a magic journal as well as keep track of who you’ve been with.
-Both all mixed in with eachother, perhaps only separated into two sections per? She isn't saying she should use the first half of the book for one, and the second half for the other, let alone keep two separate journals.

Princess Celestia wanted me to tell you that a diary is what every magic-using pony keeps to record how their thinking changes as they grow up.
-Their thinking? So magic shapes cognition and/or vice versa?

She also wanted you to have this,” she gave the changeling foal the scroll.
-Ah, here will be the letter... I wonder if Twilight has read it.

“Princess Celestia sent me a letter?”
-Well, right after she came out about her identity, I wouldn't be surprised if she was DREADING such a letter (or even wondering if the Royal Guards were going to come to her house, since she had admitted to it publicly).

“That scroll is for your eyes only.
-Yeah, makes sense. I just thought it was POSSIBLE that Twilight knew what it was about.

What if Celestia decided to imprison her?
-I doubt she would announce that in a letter that was secret... would give Scootaloo too much chance to run... then again "This is your chance to come peacefully. The officers will be arriving in one week. Make your preparations, and tell your friends and family in whatever way you think best."... not that Celestia is that sort of ruler. At most it would be "protective custody, since Chrysalis could take over your brain at any moment"... except that I doubt that Chrysalis can do that sort of thing... well, not to any greater degree than she did with Shining Armor, which probably required her to be in the same room with him every time.

What if she had to take pills to stunt her powers?
-I would imagine that she would have to turn into a real criminal, rather than merely 1/3 of a trotting disaster area before that would be even considered.

and in all honesty I hadn’t thought it would happen again,
-For a ruler who thinks in terms of centuries, I think this is a very sad statement. Of course, MY version of Celestia would be planning to tell her in a few years "Do be a dear and don't avoid making friends with a few colts, I know you aren't old enough to be dating, let alone getting married, but it never hurts to lay the groundwork early. The Equestrian gene pool could always use the diversity, and I have to have a sample size of more than one before I can find the genes in question precisely enough to impart them to the unborn foals of volunteer parents. Naturally, I can't resort to studying unwilling prisoners of war in that way, but the intelligence services of future generations would greatly appreciate your contribution."

so perhaps shedding some light on the ‘what now’ is in order.
-Indeed... although she seems to have the short-term handled, so getting her thinking about the medium and longer terms at the same time as the challenges are pointed out to her would be wise... actually it sounds like Celestia is assuming that most or all of the challenges will already have occurred to Scootaloo.

You are not listed as an enemy of the State, nor of my throne.
-There is a difference between the two? Well, I guess there would have to be in situations where the Diarchs have a sharp difference of opinion over the trustworthiness of a given individual. Or maybe it is a matter of "Well, of course I don't like him... wants to KILL you." which makes the attempted assassin more directly a problem of the security services of the Diarch in question, rather than both of them equally. Of course, that assumes that you have the Diarchs being capable of being killed (if they are, the Chrysalis was REALLY sure of the cocoon she put Celestia in, rather than simply slaying her... or maybe she figured that by the time Celestia recovered from being blasted, she would be drained to the point where she wouldn't be very able to attempt escape.).

I’ll just assume you intend to keep it that way.
-That is... remarkably threatening actually.

“She says I’m not gonna get thrown in jail for being turned into a changeling.”
-Huh... so she focuses on the external trigger, rather than the internal potential as the cause... makes sense as a psychological coping mechanism I guess?

If not, please be advised that my oubliettes haven’t been cleaned in centuries.
-Probably because there hasn't been anypony in them for that long... I imagine they are frightfully dusty. Also, still rather threatening... Granted she COULD grow up into a master thief or something, but I rather doubt she is inclined that way, or that Twilight would let her become so ostracized she feels it would be an appropriate revenge... shoot, Applebloom and Sweetie Belle aren't going to let that happen, even if their parents try to stop them from hanging out with Scootaloo when they find out. I could MAYBE see a predatory nature surfacing.

-Occasionally my computer glitches and I lose a comment. This is getting pretty long, so I am going to post it, and then continue in a separate post.

SPOILER ALERT!!!




“No real reason.” Scootaloo dismissed the question.
-*Snerk*, also, it occurs to me that Celestia may be putting this stuff in mostly to appease her internal security ministers (or the elected officials involved, if any), rather than because she thinks that Scootaloo needs any threatening... well, actually I guess that she does, but only to keep her out of TOO much mischief that might be bad for her (and any other changelings that might have been transformed... or if she has a few in rehab or something that got captured... because she would hate to break her streak of not actually using the oubliettes.

Little jokes aside,
-Ah yes... I keep forgetting that Celestia quite enjoys embodying the Elemental Virtue of Laughter. She brings up the fear, and then shows how ridiculous it is. "Giggle at the Ghosties" and so on.

Being able to change shape is certainly a big temptation to play pranks, especially for a fun-loving foal like yourself.
-Indeed.

And as odd as it may sound: I won’t forbid it. Nor will anyone forbid it on my behalf.
-Indeed... that would sharply reduce the probability of the existance of, and effectiveness if she does take that road of "Secret Agent Scootaloo". Many good misinformation creating officers (for instance the ones who rig up platoons of tanks out of painted plywood and such for enemy spy-planes to see), were pranksters. Same skill-set, different scope. In any case, it is not the business of government to interfere in the childhood of a child. Princess Celestia doesn't look down on Pinkie Pie*, or even Rainbow Dash for their pranks, and it would be hypocritical of Princess Luna to be against using shapeshifting to play a trick!
*In fact it is part of her job qualifications!

Unicorn foals, pegasus foals and Earth pony foals all develop their own magic and other unique abilities as they grow.
-And play is one of the best ways to do that. Not to say that Scootaloo couldn't just turn into stuff like using simple costumes to "play pretend", or even take up acting. She could do a historically accurate Smart Cookie or Private Pansy or whatever... I could see her being adverse to taking the roll of Princess Platinium, let alone a Wendigo, but short of that... well, I don't think her inclinations lie on the stage in any case, so it is a bit of a moot point for the most part. Not to mention that would mean being much more public about her secret. I do wonder what the chances of her being caught due to inexperience, thus starting a panic (if she gets away and her true identity isn't known) or having her secret revealed if she does.

Many of them can cause quite a bit of damage, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.
-...Indeed... and she helped cause a lot of it. I just hope Scootaloo is spared further loses of control like she had in the clubhouse. I wonder Twilight supplied her with a horn-binder (without a lock) for sleeping with, or if she starts to have an episode? In my fanon, Twilight actually still has one or two that Celestia herself made (because no unicorn could make on strong enough... unless maybe Twilight herself could make her own).

Your peers have to carry the same sort of responsibility, and to treat you any different would be unfair.
-Exactly... although she may have all of those responsibilities and more.

You have changeling instincts as well as changeling abilities now,
-Well, that is a worrying thought... she may require medication or at least a psychiatrist to talk to... although apparently Twilight thinks herself competent in that role? I don't know how much of that was actual ability, how much of it was just a visual gag, and how much of it was the fact that Twilight was already well on the road to madness herself when she tried playing shrink to Rainbow Dash. Of course, "Studying the Magic of Friendship" isn't SO far from "Studying Social Psychology" and such like... even odds whether Twilight ever read through a huge stack of books to add that angle of approach to her friendship arsenal. Which would make her competent for the problem she perceived Rainbow Dash as having, but rather less so for counseling a young filly on sorting out her species specific impulses from her general pony ones, including perhaps unicorn/earthpony-specific urges, if their are many of those, and more importantly, sorting out her primitive urges from socially profitable ones. (Too bad this doesn't share continuity with another of your stories, or she would have the perfect person to exchange letters on the subject with...). Speaking of which, does this story share continuity with the one about the Changeling being tried in an Equestrian court?

and you will have to learn to judge when to use your magic.
-I would think that regulating her feeding, and the lengths she is willing to go to protect her cover identity and develop new food sources or protect existing ones (IE be the platonic version of a super-jealous girlfriend) would be more the problem when it comes to instincts. Speaking of seeking out food sources, I wonder if she is going to have to learn not to be a flirt, including getting "The Talk" from her parents, or in a "teachable moment" following her getting out of control, Twilight (or Cheerilee, but I prefer to think not). There may even be some preparation for the possibility of her eventually obtaining a husband, and just what that might entail in combination with her sub-species (Is it safe to kiss? <-Example question to be covered). It is best to start teaching children responsible dating practices BEFORE they have a need for them. That is even without bringing in instinctively used mind-control powers you might choose to give her.

I’m sure there will be some missteps along the way, and I have no doubt that most of them will reach my ears,
-I wonder if that is supposed to be just a statement of Twilight's tendences to report things to her mentor, or a bit of a warning, or a subtle reassurance that if great help is needed, great help will be available... for instance if somepony starts a petition to get her run out of Ponyville?

All I ask is that you be careful and that you learn. It is no more and no less than what I ask of my other little ponies.
-Interesting given Twilight's problems with caution sometimes... well, and Rainbow Dash, but at least RD, and probably both of those cases mostly come down to "Gotta take a few risks if you want to train hard".

Scootaloo smiled in relief at the fact that even princess Celestia herself still considered her a pony.
-Well, she said as much much earlier... or maybe that was more of a legal thing, rather than a personal note?

and any records of changelings and ponies living together in peace are muddled at best.
-Indeed. I hope there is, at least, a good knowledge-base on safe feeding practices? From Shining Armor's medical exam between the two weddings at the least? Although the Love Surge might have repaired a lot of the damage at the same time it did his fiancee's hair, if not earlier. Good for Shining Armor, not so great for medical science.

The time that I spent with them was quite brief, certainly not enough to know how they learn to master their magic.
-Ah, so she has met a few in past centuries... Interesting she doesn't mention Luna's knowledge, if only to say "and my sister's experience is even less" or some such. At least she knows it is really and truly possible... provided that it isn't like asbestos, which everyone thought was great for decades/centuries.

As much as it pains me to admit, I cannot teach you, nor do I know of anypony who can.
-Again I wonder if this story shares continuity with your one about the captured Changeling. If so, I guess it ends with him being turned to stone or something similarly drastic.

But rest assured: I’ve instructed my scholars to pour over the archives to see what references they can find. If they come across anything that may be of use to you, you’ll be the first to know.
-What, she isn't going to tell Twilight and then have her hand the scroll over to Scootaloo? The Egghead is not going to be pleased... then again, she may be nearly as happy with Scootaloo handing it to HER to read afterwards.

Twilight will gladly teach you the basics, but keep in mind you are not a unicorn.
-So there are differences in technique? Seems like she is saying it is more than the specialization of magic indicated by most cutie-marks.

You’ll be spending energy that keeps you alive, so do not overextend yourself.
-I wonder if Cadance can send over an emergency "injector" for her parents, Vinyl, and/or Twilight to keep as a secret reserve? Secret, because telling Scootaloo about it would cause her to use less of a safety margin. Such a device might be a crystal of course (I think the summary mentioned you were using those?). I also wonder if she would burn through it any faster than she would by galloping, or especially flying (since that is aerodynamically impossible, and thus generally agreed to be augmented by magic... including by you in your story about Flight Camp). I also wonder how much of the danger is to her food sources, and how much is to herself.

I am confident that you’ll find enough love to live, but concerning magic you will need to exercise moderation.
-So... again, is the concern about going into the equivalent of hypoglycemia, or is there also a concern about "overgrazing", especially if she tries something really major with only the other two CMC around? Was her overload in the clubhouse the equivalent of a baby burping, or even throwing up if overfed?

Learn when enough is enough and you will be fine.
-Easier said than done, especially for a daredevil-in-the-making.

Here’s what advice I can give: do not confuse success with happiness, my little pony.
-In other words, if she decides she just wants to be a pegasus, she should feel free to be?

My faithful students will gladly help you as you try to make sense of what to do.
-Meaning the Mane Seven? Or meaning Twilight plus the other researchers and archmages she has mentored over the years?

if the prospect of working in Canterlot does not frighten you,
-Why would it? I mean I guess there is leaving her home town(s) and going to a city that might, even then have an especial distrust for Changelings...

I’m sure I can find a suitable position for someone with your skills if ever
-"Secret Aaagent Mare, Secret Aaaaagent Mare"...

But that is a concern for another day.
-Indeed.

For now, try to adjust as best you can, and feel free to have some fun, within reasonable limits.
-Eeyup. Which word reminds me... at least she will be less likely to turn into somepony she thinks is crushing on another pony (but too timid to admit it), and profess love to said other pony, in an attempt to get things jumpstarted.

Princess Celestia’s appointed a personal physician to you.
-Wise idea. I wonder how he explains his presence in the hospital, and if he has other patients? Probably does, if only avoid calling too much attention to Scootaloo... then again "research doctor who only sees patients in his obscure area of research" is not a lie, and doctor-patient confidentiality would already cover any inquiries into which specific condition Scootaloo has.

He’s not an expert on changelings, but he’s the closest we’ve got.
-Makes sense... there may BE no experts on Changeling biology.

We all have a certain aromatic oil in our medicine cabinet now.
-Knock-out juice, or an emergency power-source? Probably some sort of medication.

“I don’t think I like where this is going.” Scootaloo’s insect wings gave a cursory buzz of nerves.
-Neither option is pleasant, no. Or maybe it is the equavelent of "OFF" so that she won't be able to get close enough to feed more if she start-over feeding, or tries to use mind-control magic on them?

It numbs their senses, makes them go drowsy.
-Knockout juice...

It’s a sedative and an anodyne, from what I understand.”
-I would make anodyne a link. I think I have seen it one other place but it doesn't match up with what I thought it meant. I ask note (as I wait for my internet connection to repair itself so I can look the word up), that it could be more to stop her if she refuses to stop herself, or if her magic runs away from her again, before she exhausts her Love-energy and causes harm to herself. *Looks up word* Ok, actually that makes sense. Right, so tranquilizers. Now to see if it is for her protection, or if it is in case she goes "feral" or something.

And we also don’t know if the tranquiliser that’s in your system while you change back is going to kill you,
-Sounds like VERY LAST DITCH thing in case of magical overload... or much more likely a defense if she goes nuts and starts trying to do something... or it could be a threat to get her to undisguise herself, thus providing a way to prove if she is a certain person or not if it is suspected she is doing something outright criminal with the shapeshifting.

It’s the only medicine we know for sure is safe,
-Oh, so it is OTHER tranquilizers that could hurt her.

and we really don’t want to find out that you have a panic response or heart arrhythmia while you’re hurt.
-So... if she wrecks too badly on her scooter? Could still be for magic overload or shapeshifting shenanigans.

It’s just in case you get injured and we need to ease the pain; we can even dose it so you stay conscious.
-I don't know if Scootaloo is allowed in the medicine cabinet at Vinyl's house. I SUSPECT she isn't, at least not for more than bandaids. No tummy medicine, no aspirin. So I guess this wouldn't theoretically change anything about what she would use, because she isn't supposed to use ANYTHING. Then again, Equestria is a lot less safety conscious than America, so I could see her getting her own "over the counter" strength painkillers after a bad crash that isn't enough to warrant going to the hospital. She IS following in Rainbow Dash's wingbeats, so she might have something that bad (or just really sore muscles) about once a month or so... of course, I doubt you thought of all that, so... I shall be rather surprised if Twilight proceeds to give her dosing instructions for given levels of "not worth telling an adult about" injury. Then again, what could be a mild injury before could be major now, do to variant anatomy... but that probably only applies when she ISN'T in pony form? The comment about causing her to revert makes me think so.

not having any doctors who can patch you up.
-Wait... what? Well, I guess if he is a general practitioner and not a surgeon? Or is he not even a full M.D.?

I mean: I might turn into a monster and no one would be able to stop it.
-Well, that too, but Twilight didn't seem to be mentioning that.

And you don’t have to worry about turning into a monster: there are monsters right here in Ponyville bigger than anything you can turn into,” Spike randomly noted.
-"Like me a little while after I tried to steal your scooter..."? Or did he mean figurative size. I imagine that Twilight could be quite the one-mare demolition crew if she tried (she would have to be tripping out and thinking that Chrysalis was standing in front of her with her horn to an unconscious Celestia's throat or something). Actually most of the Mane Six could be quite dangerous if they put their mind to it, which is only proper for Celestia's most elite team. Rainbow Dash has the Rainbomb, and a blackbelt means she could hit ponies in the right place to HURT while bouncing between them at super-speed. I imagine that given a hour or two, Fluttershy could talk her animal friends into violence (probably not against Ponyville but...) Shoot, she has a manticore that owes her a favor. And that is forgetting about The Stare. Rarity? Sewing needles through the eyes and good hoof to hoof combat skills. Pinkie Pie? Teleportation, and knowledge of cake-knives. Applejack? Oddly enough probably the LEAST dangerous in "Chaotic Evil Rage Mode".

Particularly one who’d already thrashed the town once.
-Exactly.

For some reason, her tail and wings were a little harder to do.
-Long lengths of not-quite living materials?

She breathed a sigh of relief once she was out the door.
-Why?

No ban on changing shape, no quarantine, even princess Celestia didn’t set up any real rules.
-Ah...

None that she wouldn’t have followed to begin with, at least.
-Oh, this is SCOOTALOO thinking this.

she’d learned how to break her fall by now, and she’d never broken anything else.
-Oh, while flying? Or can she only do that in "bug mode"? I wonder if Luna would be willing to lend her a little bit of midnight to wrap around herself so nopony sees her flying at night? Of course, that would ALSO require Luna to do whatever she does to the eyes of her chauffeurs, (if those aren't more transformed bats, as I heard someone theorize), so that Scootaloo can see where she is flying... actually now that I think of it, flying when nopony will notice you crash is a BAD idea, especially for a beginner. Rainbow Dash is an idiot for doing Ghastly Gorge without a spotter. Then again, maybe she USUALLY has one?

the filly realised Twilight hadn’t even noticed Scootaloo’s little addition to her pegasus pony body. She’d gotten away with it.
-Bigger wings? So she doesn't have to choose between the two?

And hey: if Twilight Sparkle doesn’t catch you making your wings bigger, nopony will.
-Called it... Just hope she didn't make them to think or something... broken bones from catching the air too hard would be... between "medically diffcult to fix in a shapeshifter"(If Zecora doesn't have a changeling safe potion for that, but which WOULDN'T have worked on Rainbow Dash), and "Death" if she happens to be 100 feet up, and Rainbow Dash is asleep or looking the other way. Then again, Dash is probably going to give her lessons... if her parents don't on the weekends.

2134283
All my stories are a different canon unless otherwise specified. The thing with the changeling on trial has no link to this story, and in fact uses a different headcanon on some changeling abilities altogether. Thanks for the suggestion on hyperlinking things, I don't know why I never thought of that before.

The mare gave her that patented ‘Smile! It’s lecture time!’ look.

:twilightsheepish: :rainbowlaugh:

I demand MOAR :flutterrage: oh I mean if that's okay :twilightblush: sorry :scootangel:

3716278
It's not entirely finished yet on Moonfire's end, and given that it's two continuities that might mean stuff gets edited, resulting in backtracking I can't do when it's published.

3716283 Really? Two years since the release. Are you going to put chapter 1 or not?

[Question about progress]
[Implication that author is dead]

5126342
It's been long enough to have started and finished a second, unrelated sequel and a third part that's already clocking in past one hundred pages. My half of this story is done and just needs editing and continuity checks, Moonfire's side still needs to be finished.

[response involving all the other fics written in the meantime]
[suggestion to check blogs]

:twilightsmile:

Wow! O_o
That is a lot of chapters!:rainbowderp:
Time to read...:twilightsmile:

And thank you!:moustache:

5377023
Preparing a blog post now to explain.

Do you realise how many fake horse points you lost by posting these all at once? Dude...

5377072
Do you realise how long I've been sitting on these? Dude... people were getting upset.

And besides, check the box.

:rainbowhuh:Why have I not seen this story before. Its 2 years old. *looks at chapter release dates*
:twilightoops:Oh.
Well just read the original, time to get into this...tomorrow...for now its sleep time.

The chapter detailing the meeting between Scootaloo and Moonfire is missing.
It just goes from the promise to meet up to they already talked.

5377201
The actual meeting is in Moonfire's part of it. That scene doesn't get repeated here. One of the oddities about the two stories being collab.

5377223 I can understand why you chose to not repeat it, but I will say that it will confuse people a bit and possibly annoy them.
It is hard to follow a story when you have to 'hunt' for the rest of it in a different story.
I have read more than a few collaboration stories, and most of the time the authors decide to either have the chapter be the same in both stories, or they write the chapter from the other characters view point.
I can understand not wanting to do the same chapter twice, but if the events depicted have an impact on your story than it would be better to post the chapter in this story as well.

5377245
I know, and I've worried about that myself, but this is how it turned out. Not saying I like it, but can't change it at this point.

5377264
I'll dive into this after my Meetup today. As such, let me ask in advance: Did you at least add a link to the relevant chapters in the other fic, either at the end of the proceeding chapter here, or at the beginning of the followup chapter?

5377671
Nope. I posted these things as I left them before Moonfire started uploading his, with only minor editing for some wordings, and no editing for shared scenes. This is, again, part of the reason why it took so long to upload: we wanted to have continuity. Now that things have gone this far, though, it's kind of a lost cause.

SO DID SCOOTALOO CHANGE INTO DIAMOND TIARA OR WHAT?

“Things are all right, never alright. There’s a space in between.”

What an interesting topic to touch on. Did you know that...?

1. "alright" has been around since at least 1893 [1] which makes it nearly as old as "all right" [2]
2. It follows the same contraction pattern as "altogether" and "already", which have been accepted as valid English words for a very long time [3]
3. The American Heritage Guide to Contemporary Usage and Style is so confused by trying to stick to this weird prejudice against "alright" that it contradicts itself by saying it has a separate and distinct meaning from "all right" [4]?

(In case you're wondering, the American Heritage Guide says that "all right" means "every one is correct" while "alright" means "completely fine")

Also, interesting tangential factoid relating to the words "all" and "correct": "OK" is the only remaining remnant of a word-abbreviation fad that began in Boston in 1838. It's short for "oll korrect", a playful misspelling of "all correct".

It's updating! :pinkiehappy:

All at once. :twilightblush:

And is now formally connected with what was previously a non-canon side story... :unsuresweetie:

And has had a name change? (maybe?) :applejackconfused:

And no longer has the tragedy tag! :yay:

I think the birds are an illusion made up by Scootaloo's mind. It would be a pretty neat, Matrix-y moment for dr Home saying "...Doves don't even live in Ponyville. Not even central Equestria..."

Also: I think Rumble is plagued by one of those mindless parasites and it was which shrieked Scootaloo from properly checking him out...

“It wasn’t a stupid invasion, Scootaloo. It was planned, and it did have a good chance of working.”

No, the plan relied entirely on everyone completely ignoring someone acting entirely out of character, and not listening to ponies who said "Something's not right here!" It had ABSOLUTELY no right to get as far advanced as it did, since AFAICT, basically everything in it was based on the cards falling JUST right. What if Celestia had come back into the chapel to talk to her student about how disappointed she was, and caught Chrysalis banishing Twilight? What if Rainbow Dash or someone else had gone with Twilight to Shining's house? What if the girls had decided to back Twilight? What if Celestia had gone all "Well I think you're crazy Twilight, but I'm willing to entertain you. Cadence! What did I get you for your 18th birthday?" What if Cadence had escaped on her own? What if Luna showed up to the wedding itself, and the sisters team tagged Chrysalis down? What if there had been a bit more warning and the Royal Guard had spread thistle all across Canterlot, regardless of the possible health risks? Chrysalis didn't even do five minutes research on how Cadence acted or who she knew before replacing her, to the point where she didn't even know who her future sister in law was. THAT is not a sign of a good plan.

this Story is far from perfect but I find it interesting regardless.

Why the hell did u skip the bell tower scene. I was looking forward to that and you just skipped over it entirely. That scene would have had so much potential. sigh....so much wasted potential.....

5378633
On the 'All right' thing, blame Gary Oak. He put that in my head, can' get rid of it now.

5380592
It's in Moonfire's part of the story. And I know it's wasted potential, but if I didn't post it, it'd be a complete waste of both my time and my readers'. As it stands, it's just a story that took too long. Wait for the next story, that'll be more coherent.

5378641
Duellum Telum was going to be canon from the beginning, I wrote this while Moonfire wrote his story, and early on some lines or entire scenes on his side were written by me, even. Stuff happened during the writing, and things got delayed, then muddled up. I'm putting it out now, as is, so people can read it and move on. I've already got another plotline done that ignores the events in this and Duelum Telum and instead makes Rumble a more interesting character. Also bat ponies rousettes.

Whoops.

Also, I only just now realized you made Vinyl and Octavia Scootaloo's parents.
Awesome!

5381021
They're not her parents, they're her guardians. Her parents live in the clouds and have busy schedules. It's the same setup as in some of my other fics, really. Pretty sure Scoots refers to them as 'Aunt Vinyl' and 'Octavia, too, not her two moms.

Although, that is an interesting idea...

Mister Sun Dancer and Missus Rain Dancer.
Best parents ever.

Wait. What?:rainbowhuh:

Don't think about pink elephants. :scootangel:

Oh my. Things are getting intense now.

The plot thickens!
...I wanna know more.

5381035
Didn't notice that one until a few chapters down, to be honest. :twilightblush:

5381179
The story's nearly over, really. Three more chapters, then it's done. I'll upload the rest over the course of next week.

I like the story, can't wait to see how it ends!!

Login or register to comment