The Elusive Badgerpony
Joined 3rd Feb, 2013 ·
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[img]file:///C:/Users/Owner/Desktop/4chan/1363991532337.jpg[/img] Thank you sir, may I have another?
2327381
1-media-cdn.foolz.us/ffuuka/board/m/image/1336/70/1336704336202.png
Moar. oh and BOING
WOW! That was quite well written!
2327396 Couldn't find pic online. Was too lazy. :p
Oh no, Scootarape.
Really nice. I sort of wish there had been more dialog between the two before Scootaloo tried doing her thing, but it was a fun read regardless.
Moar pl0x?
Epic, I cannot with stand the craziness at the name guessing. :rainbowlaugh
Overall, I liked it very much. Although, the much of 'The Sex' parts amuses me.... a bit. But, nice chapter, I THEE SAY MAKE MORE!
I enjoy your weird sense of humor
Awww, little clueless Rumble is so cute! Also 'Scuntajoo' is my new favourite word. Thumbs up!
more please.
I need another helping.
WHAT'S TO BE SORRY ABOUT MAN!
fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/256/0/5/i_ain__t_even_mad_by_faikie-d5ejdaz.png
Well, since you're a part of Author's Helping Authors...
Name of Story: What You Can't Tell Anypony Else, or Rumble's Reluctance
Grammar score out of 10: 9
Pros:
1) Pacing - I always point this out in stories that do pacing well. The story doesn't drag on, and it doesn't jump the gun either. Even though you have events happen fast, it's done so in a way that fits the story and gives atmosphere. It's done very well in this case.
2) Rumble - Great job of writing out his character. Made him come off as real and believable. The little details like trying to remember Scootaloo's name was very a nice touch.
3) Detail - Loved the details you put in this story. Rumble's whole experience with Scootaloo, his time in class, just a lot of thought put into this story and it shows quite well.
Cons:
1) Scootaloo - Unless you write more on this story, Scootaloo is going to come off as really weird and out of character. Just, jarringly out of character. But I get the feeling you either have something in mind to explain the sudden interest she shows in Rumble, or you just felt like seeing her be the dom. As the story stands now, she's really the only weak part in this story.
2) ... there isn't anything else I could think of mentioning as a con. The story is pretty solid.
Notes: I'm sure some people are going to find this story to be hot as hell. I wasn't one of them though - I can't fap to that. But the story is well written, and at least for me, I thought it came off using sex to further the story, unlike a lot of clop stories on here. I could be wrong, but that's how it came off to me. This certainly deserves an up-vote.
Enjoy your review! Please help me out by looking at my story: Friendship has a Generous Heart
MORE PLZ
Intriguing. Not sure why Scoots went that route.
so much for the down votes
2331275 Oh shit
66 up, 6 down
666
Oh
SHIT
2332125 You'll hate me for this, but they're pretty much show age. Later chapters will have better context for Scootaloo's weird behavior.
Interesting. Proceed!
I don't really know what I just read. I'll follow it to see if it clears up a little later on, but I have to agree with the review guy when he said this wasn't fap material for him. Just felt off.
Still not all that sure.
2337561 You're not required to fap to it, mayte. You can be here for the plot.
2337578
The sweet plump foal plot.
All joking aside, I've never been big on rape or anything close to it. With this newest chapter I really don't know how I stand on this story.
2337610 You can't stand on it, silly. It's a story. If it was a stool or a chair or a crate or a platform, you could probably stand on it. But it's not any of those things. It's a story. Unless you carved the words into a block and stood on that, I dunno how you would stand on it. Unless you have superpowers. Stan Lee must have smashed his poor old face into a keyboard and gave you the power to stand on top of words.
I found one thing wrong here...
Nurse Redheart is an Earth Pony, and not a Unicorn.
No other discrepancies found.
Now...as for Thunderlane, I wanna hit him. With a baseball bat. Repeatedly.
Daaaaaaamn...
Daaaaaaaamn. 
Daaaaaaaamn! 
DAAAAAAAAAAAYUM! 
Liked, favorited, and followed!
This is just damn glorious.
Don't beat yourself up too much. And a colt fapping isn't exactly my idea of a good time, but Rumble's so adorably naive that you sold me on awkward-coming-of-agey-ness.
Overall, not as bad as you think it is, and not a bad chapter 2, IMO.
Woah this actually has some sort of plot other than mindless orgies and flavorless writing. I must say this quite good
2337759 Until he bleeds piss?
2338560 And then some...
Moar Please!
2337759 ...
...
...
...
*flips table of the universe*
2339588 hey, no worries though. I do like how the 2nd chapter showed the story developing. Its getting quite interesting.
Awesome, I really enjoy the whole mental dialog that goes on here.
2339588
*British Voice*
Here we see the Badger Pony, flipping a table due to his mistake... I have been told this happens... Oh, shit! He's seen us! Drive, Charles!
Am I the only one who thinks that, while Thunderlane is indeed a douche, he doesn't deserve all the hate he gets from his brother? Maybe him not being their parents is an important factor here...
I figured this would end after the first chapter, which would be disappointing, so i'm really glad you continued it. I actually like this chapter better than the first one. Probably because the first chapter left so many questions that i assumed wouldn't be answered, but now they are, and everything is more or less coming together.
More please.
2344323 MORE YOU SHALT HAVE
Almost cock blocked. Lucky Rumble!
Should I feel ashamed for enjoying this?
Damn straight.
Do I feel ashamed for reading this?
Not in the least
I liked this chapter, and I wonder what will happen with Cheerilee.
Okay wait... wut?
My mind is trying to process things...
AND IT HURTS MY BRAIN!
(We do know what's happening... should we tell him?)
((No, let him figure it out on his own. He's a big boy.))
Called it on Rumble's animus partly being connected to his parents! Though I was with Cheerilee in first believing them absent in a rather permanent fashion. Luckily, they're not dead- still, you could see how witnessing so many of her poor students have such a hard time at home is wearing her down.
At some point I though Rumble was gonna rape DT and SS for being bitches, that would've been ... weird
2373027 This isn't that kind of clopfic.
2373200 I'm happy it isn't cuz I really don't like rapestuff but the way the word rape was going around and how Rumble felt so hurt and vulnerable I had a nagging feeling he might do it himself to reestablish "balance".
2373211 I feel like I'd ruin a lot of people's analysises (analisi?) of fhe story if I say this, but I'm going to say it anyways.
Rumble here is just a kid. This story, although told third-person omniscent, is somewhat more his perspective, so as a result his train of thought is most of what comprises the tale. He throws around words like rape and the various curses and terms he's using because he's just a kid, and has no idea just how serious they are.
Most foalcon tales don't really go into that. Then again, not a whole lot of them use a male protagonist, so I sorta wanted to takes a few steps into that shitfield. Rape is a bit of a double-standard crime- If it happens to a female, no matter what, it's horrible and disgusting. When it happens to a male, society treats it much differently.
You could say that guys getting raped is much, much, much less frequent, but it does happen, and it is terrible. Saying it's not is like saying that a much rarer cancer isn't as bad as a common one. It's cancer. It's horrible.
Blah. I digress.
2373434 Let's just agree on this being a very good story :p Molly likes it