• Member Since 17th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 3rd, 2014

Godric The Radical


T

Life is going quite well for Fredrick. What a life he is having he gets to do his life long dream...flying. The Luftwaffe is the place to be for Fredrick. His childhood friends are there and Fredrick is next for promotion. All is going well until he flew though that cloud.

Chapters (25)
Comments ( 176 )

Hmm... Tracking...
You definitely have an interesting premise.
Tell me, are you german yourself?

is this styled after WWII Luftwaffe or modern day?

I do love story's that have history behind it.

A very interesting plane you chose, can you tell me?

1459489
A little but not much, but I love Germany

1459489
A little but not much, but I love Germany 1460037
To answer your question I love the Me 262 because it was the first jet and I has the fire power to wipe out any ground forces that opposes you :yay:

In your last chapter you spelt Equestria wrong and Celestia's name.
Thought i'd let you know.

1459489
A little but not much, but I love Germany 1460037
To answer your question I love the Me 262 because it was the first jet and I has the fire power to wipe out any ground forces that opposes you :yay:1459496 it is the ww2 Luftwaffe

1460131 Guess what if you guys get 5 likes I will post the next chapter:yay::twilightblush:

1459581 you will get more when there is 5 likes :yay:

The story is good, as well as the plot... but it needs to be edited...

This is an interesting story, you should attempt to find an editor however. I think the another human who knows German and equestrian (english) would be a necessary addition, or at least someone who could translate.

Ungewöhnlicher Benutzername, aber mal sehen wie sich das Ganze weiterentwickelt.

Well, let me help you with the Titel of your first Chapter. The Titel is......how to put this.....this sounds like "Typical english German" to me.

First Chapter Titel: It would called "Die Luftwaffe", not Der Luhtwaffe.
Trust me, this would be the right way to write this Titel^^

1463570 Ich mag ihn weil er Experte Propaganda Fähigkeiten hat er die Menschen glauben, sie waren Essen wenn sie Waren verlieren:yay:

1463990 I looked this up and it would be Der because this the is used for man Die is used for females

1463017 I know the German is correct I have a Friend that taught me German and I check with him and all the German is right

The story seems good so far, but if I may, think about getting a proofreader. Your sentence structuring needs a bit of work to be honest. Spelling is not a big issue for you it appears, but the way you write the dialogue between characters makes it a tad hard to read. Also most of what you wrote was broken up into too many simple sentences instead of paragraphs. Not being mean, just offering constructive criticism! A little rework and you may get many more reader interested in your story. Good luck! :twilightsmile:

This chapter became a bit confusing , but not entirely difficult to follow. You might want to revise it. Other than that, keep up the good work. :twilightsmile:

You have caught my interest. I will track and read when able. :twilightsmile:

Interesting story line, even though it has been done before. I would recommend revising it a bit, as I found some parts hard to read, but otherwise great story, up'd and fav'd.

I opened up the new chapter and.... DEAR GOD WALL OF TEXT! Serously, take some time to split up the paragraph everytime a character talks. that space new paragraphs. Walls of text scare off readers. Trust me, I learned the hard way.

1464429

Well, if you say so. I only wanted to help you, becuase i must know my own Language.

let me guess, the princess is going to not give him a charge but in return he has to be the elements body-guard or something like that?

'"what a weird place, must be Russia." Fredrick thought.' In Soviet Russia...

MOAR and you spelled verdict wrong

Awesome story man never gets old

MOAR DAMNIT MOAR!
MEHR DAMMIT MEHR!

1477221
There is MOAR just wait ok I have to listen to peoples ideas and reviews to

1477488 i yell "MOAR DAMNIT" at the end of every chapter i read on the fics, its just a thing i do

The docter??? THE DOCTER!!! I DEMAND MORE FLUTTERSHY COMMANDS YOU :flutterrage::flutterrage: MAKE MOAR :flutterrage:

Thats if you want too that is :fluttershysad:

did I tell you I love Fluttershy so devoted and shy. She is so innocent and pure

1482513 Yay :D I feel so special :3

1482535 Ikr and cute :3 She always seems to make me happy in sad times :D

1483437 Why thank you my friend :D And i feel happy that you feel happy

1483523 Thank you :D. You may think im nice but you havnt met my dark side >;3 May i ask if there is gonna be an update tonight :3?

1483561
Funny, but keep the peace or the Arcangel Elrath will destroy you. But the Arcangel will have mercy apon you and give you the next chapter.

If you want to get the quota look up the Heroes of might and magic V

1483610 I shall keep peace, Only if you upload the next chapter soon :D

1483716
The Arcangel Elrath simles apon you you gain the next chapter :scootangel:

Who thinks that my new name is cooler than my old one Herr Goebbels

I had to change my name due to the fact of some friends of mine

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