...Not That There's Anything Wrong With That
...Not That There's Anything Wrong With That
Cheers erupted from the stands as the Wonderbolts zoomed past the eager fans as they made their way around the cloud-bordered tracks. It was one of the Wonderbolts' races, and ponies filled the stands to watch the event unfold. A giant jumbo-tron showed televised images of the race to anypony that was too addicted to television to watch the actual race from where they sat. The stadium itself was huge, ponies from all over came to see this event. But, due to its proximity to Ponyville, which was about five miles away, the stadium boasted a large number of residents from the small town in attendance to watch the race.
Lyra and Bon Bon sat near the front, Lyra holding a pair of plastic clapping hands while Bon Bon rolled her eyes. Colgate sat a few rows behind them, speculating about the number of bugs that the Wonderbolts got in their teeth while flying, and wondering if it could cause dental problems for them. Derpy was still trying to find her seat, which was on the opposite side of the stadium from where she was standing.
Then there were three mares sitting together, one pink, one cyan, and one orange. The pink one bounced up and down in the seat while her two friends watched the race with annoyed expressions on their faces. They were trying to ignore the antics of their crazy pink friend, but it was proving to be rather difficult, especially with her begging.
“Come on!” Pinkie Pie pleaded.
“No Pinkie, I’m not doing it.” Rainbow Dash said.
“Neither am ah.” Applejack added.
“But it’s part of the bet, and you two pinkie promised you’d do whatever I said! And it would be so adorable to see you two go through with it.”
Rainbow Dash and Applejack did the best they could to focus on the race instead of Pinkie Pie, who was trying to get them to hold up their end of a bargain from a pastry eating contest. The winner of the contest got to decide what punishment the two losers would have to do. Since Pinkie Pie won, it was up to her to choose Applejack and Rainbow Dash's fate. She didn't have to think long, and went with something she thought was cute, but in reality was the most humiliating thing imaginable.
“I am NOT kissing AJ!” Rainbow Dash said defiantly, her arms crossed against her chest as she stared out at the race-track where the trio prepared to watch the next Wonderbolts’ race.
“Can’t y’all pick somethin’ a little less humiliatin’ Pinkie Pie? Like, can’t we just say how awesome you are or maybe we can do yer job down at Sugarcube Corner for an afternoon...or even a week?” Applejack asked with an innocent smile.
Pinkie Pie shook her head, “Nope! I want you two lovebirds to give each other a nice big, sloppy smooch!”
Both Applejack and Rainbow Dash groaned. Their hesitation to kiss wasn’t just because they weren’t attracted to the same gender, but also because everypony in Ponyville seemed to have the absurd impression that the two friends were in love with each other. From watching the duo hang out together all of the time, not to mention all of the competitions they had against each other, the ponies in Ponyville not only bought the rumors, which were initially isolated, but spread them. Even worse, the rumors weren't limited solely to strangers or acquaintances that neither Rainbow Dash of Applejack talked with often. It also spread to their close friends.
In fact, the only friend that seemed to understand that they were not in love with each other was Twilight Sparkle. Which made sense, as she often didn't buy into rumors unless there was concrete evidence to back them up, and even then she tended to be skeptical. But Pinkie Pie, Rarity and even Fluttershy bought into the rumors, and soon each of them were trying their hand at getting their friends to spill the beans about their true feelings for each other.
For instance, whenever Applejack and Rainbow Dash walk into Carousel Boutique together, they have to deal with Rarity dragging them through the “special somepony” collection she had which, among other things, included wedding dresses and tuxedos. No matter how often they told the stylish white unicorn that they weren’t in love with each other, it never made a difference. And then there was Fluttershy, who, while never explicitly saying that she believed they were in love, definitely dropped hints that suggested she bought into the hype. One time she even sent some of her songbirds to sing sweet melodies over the duo, trying to set an atmosphere of romance and passion for the two to confess their “love” for one another.
Of course, none of this was true, even if everypony in Ponyville seems to want it to be.
No matter what the two friends did to convince others that they didn’t “swing that way”, the town bought into it. Even when Rainbow Dash started to date Thunderlane and Applejack started to date Caramel, the only ones who believed they were in a legitimate relationship where Twilight, the Apples and, of course, their love-struck coltfriends, Caramel and Thunderlane, both of whom got their proof from the “pleasantries” of being in a physical relationship…if you know what I mean.
So while the idea of kissing would normally be met with resistance, the main reason wasn’t the awkwardness of kissing a pony of the opposite gender when they were both straight, but because they knew if anypony saw them do it, the rumors would cease to be rumors in the eyes of the other townponies. It would become indisputable fact, and they’d never be able to talk their way out of it. Not the longest make-out session with their coltfriends, or even more intimate displays of affection done in public, would convince the town the duo wasn’t gay...not that there's anything wrong with that.
It just wasn't who they were.
But even with all of this, with all of the explanations that they weren’t attracted to the same gender, much less themselves, Pinkie Pie didn’t buy it. She continued to use her victory in the pastry-eating contest to get the two of express their “true feelings” for each other. So she continued to pressure the two to press their lips together like passionate lovers.
“Please?”
“No.”
“Pretty please with sugar on top and ice-cream in the middle and a nice, big chunky, chocolate-chip cookie on the bottom?”
“No, no, and NO! Come on Pinkie, enough of this, I’m missing the race!” Rainbow Dash complained as she turned her attention to the track. The event was segmented into five different races, thus giving the pegasis enough time in-between to rest their wings in time for the next race. Each race was about ten laps around the track, never taking longer than about five to ten minutes to complete each one. Right now, they were watching the second race as it came to a close with Spitfire winning.
“Wow that Spitfire sure is mighty fast.” Applejack said.
“I’ll say!” interjected Pinkie Pie who then looked at Rainbow Dash, “What do you think about Applejack saying that, huh?”
“Not much, I mean she’s right. Spitfire is totally fast.” Rainbow Dash replied, not getting the suggestiveness of Pinkie Pie’s question.
“You mean you aren’t jealous at all of Applejack fawning all over another mare?” the pink pony grinned as she waited for Rainbow Dash to react. When Rainbow Dash finally realized what Pinkie was getting at, she face-hoofed.
“Ugh, Pinkie Pie! For the thousandth time, AJ and I aren’t in love with each other.”
“Suuuurrreeee you aren’t…” Pinkie Pie said as she moved close to Rainbow Dash with a smug smile on her face. Feeling uncomfortable having the pink pony invade her space, Rainbow Dash leaned away from Pinkie Pie, who was making mock “kissy-kissy" faces. Eventually Rainbow Dash had her back pressed right up against Applejack’s side, as she sat in the seat next to Rainbow Dash. The orange country pony gave her friend an uneasy look.
“Uh…sugarcube. But yer kind of close there, don’t ya think?”
Rainbow Dash turned towards Applejack to see that their muzzles were only about three inches away from each other. Rainbow Dash leaned back in shock to increase the distance between her and her friend. But before she could do this, she was stopped by Pinkie Pie, who pushed her back into Applejack. They were both pressed up so close now that their noses touched.
“Come on, kiss! You’re already so close to each other, it’s only a matter of puckering up and leaning forward just an inch!” Pinkie Pie said enthusiastically.
“Pinkie Pie, please stop this nonsense.” Rainbow Dash muttered, starting to feel uncomfortable being so close to her friend's mouth.
“Yeah Pinkie, it’s getting ridiculous.” Applejack complimented, feeling just as uncomfortable.
“But…”
Now it was Rainbow Dash’s turn to interject, “No buts. Look I know you think we’re bucking in secret, as does the entire town. But we aren’t. I mean, we are each in a committed relationship with a coltfriend, and we are both annoyed that everypony is spreading these lies. Kissing would only make that situation worse.”
“Ya Pinkie, we’re getting tired of this rumor. The last thing we need ta do is confirm it for the town with a fake kiss.” Applejack hissed. “Plus ah don’t want ta kiss a girl…no offence RD.”
“None taken, Applejack.”
Pinkie Pie opened her mouth to respond, but quickly closed it before letting out a deep, disappointed sigh, “Fine, you two don’t have to kiss each other.”
“Thank you.” Rainbow Dash said with a sigh of relief.
“I just thought it would give you two a chance to...”
“We’re not gay...not that there’s anything wrong with that.” Both mares answered in unison, which made them look at each other in surprise, not expecting to say the exact same thing at the same time. Not that it should have surprised them, though, as they always said that whenever anypony insinuated that they were gay.
This joint answer, however, made Pinkie Pie smile and let out a small laugh. Even if they refused to kiss, it was actions like answering questions simultaneously that drove the idea for the goofy mare that her two friends were meant for each other, and all they had to do was express their feelings. She may not have gotten them to kiss, but the "war" wasn't over. If Fluttershy and Rarity couldn’t get them to confess their true love for each other, she would find a way to do so.
“I still think it would be cute, and you two would make an adorable couple.” Pinkie Pie said with a giggle before she scooted back on the bench, finally freeing Rainbow Dash of her hold.
Once released, the cyan pegasus pushed herself away from Applejack so they were as far apart as the proximity of the chairs permitted, which still wasn't far but at least they weren't so close that they could be mistaken for lovers.
Shaking off the awkwardness of the situation, Rainbow Dash turned her attention back to the track with her arms crossed and her face beet red from embarrassment, nervous that somepony might have seen her and Applejack pressed up against each other. Even with Pinkie Pie holding them in place, it was completely possible that somepony might get the wrong idea.
“Ah have ta use the little filly’s room.” Applejack said as she stood up from her seat to leave.
Suddenly realizing how the entire kissing situation made her forget she had been reaping the “benefits” of chugging a jumbo cola, Rainbow Dash stood up as well.
“Same, that drink really went through me fast.”
“Aw, both of you using the restroom together, that’s so sweet.” Pinkie Pie said as she fluttered her eye-lashes romantically. Rainbow Dash let out a sigh and continued out while Applejack just kept looking at Pinkie Pie.
“Don’t push it Pinkie.”
“I’ll stop pushing it when you two stop living in denial!”
Both mares let out synonymous groans, which made Pinkie Pie giggle even more. They then started trotting down the stairs that led to the bottom of the bleachers and, incidentally, the bathrooms. They made sure to keep a safe distance between them as they walked, both imagining the spectators whispering about them if they happened to be trotting too close to each other.
“So RD, what's Thunderlane up to today?” Applejack asked, trying to get both of their minds off of the topic of Pinkie Pie and the kiss of doom, and onto their two lovely coltfriends.
“Huh? Oh, right. He’s hanging out at Caramel’s place. Remember?" Rainbow Dash said with a blush as she imagined Thunderlane giving her one of his many sensual "smiles" that made her usually tough heart melt into a puddle.
“Oh yeah, that’s right. Silly me, ah forgot our coltfriends were planning on watching the races together.” Applejack chuckled and shook her head. "Part of a mares' night, colts' night combo thing Caramel and ah came up with."
"Does that mean when you hang out with one of us, Caramel..." Rainbow Dash began, only to be cut off by Applejack's laughter.
"He-he, yep. He gets ta hang out with one of his friends. Usually either Thunderlane or Big Macintosh."
"Not a bad system." Rainbow Dash said, "Might want to try that out with Thunder sometime."
"He's got ya callin' him Thunder?" Applejack snickered.
"Nope, I came up with it. He actually wanted me to call him T-Lane. Pfft, yeah right. Even I think that's boasting to the extreme. Besides, Thunder's a cool enough nickname, don't you think?" Rainbow Dash asked. Applejack just gave her a small nod in response as they continued their descent.
Eventually, they reached the bottom of the steps and walked around the corner to the bathroom, which was convenient in that it could see the track, so the race was visible to those that waited in line to use the restroom. Even more fortunate was the lack of a line in front of the door of the little mare’s room, something that mares across Equestria would mentally celebrate due to the common nature of excruciatingly long lines. In fact, the entire area around them was mostly empty as the next race was about to start, and most ponies didn’t have to use the rest room yet. Either that; or they chose to wait until the race that they were watching was over so they wouldn’t miss anything.
There had been quite a few instances of ponies fighting for spots in the bathrooms following the third race, which was like the “half-time” or “intermission” of the entire event. During this break, almost everypony would take the longer break to use the bathroom. Needless to say those that chose to wait were the most eager to reach the bathroom before somepony else took up a stall. And if somepony threatened to, it could get rough, for as the old saying goes, “when you’ve gotta go, you’ve gotta go.”
Applejack was ahead of Rainbow Dash as they neared the door to the bathroom. Just then, Rainbow Dash’s face broke out into a mischievous grin.
“He-he, you know. I was talking to Scootaloo the other day, and she told me that Apple Bloom finally got her cutie mark.”
Applejack froze in place her hoof pressed against the bathroom door, ready to open it before she heard her friend. Applejack then turned to her friend with a look on her face that showed some concern.
“O-oh yeah?”
“Yeah, said she has a special talent for art…and she’s especially good at...drawings.” Rainbow Dash said, stifling a laugh.
“Ah…ah know that RD.” Applejack said, her face turning bright red.
But this didn’t make Rainbow Dash stop, she loved it. Causing her best friend humiliation when it didn’t require her to humiliate herself was just a daily requirement for the speed-demon pegasus.
“Of course you do…after all; she did draw you and Caramel “bed wrestling”.” Rainbow Dash couldn’t take it anymore and broke down into a fit of laughter. She fell against the wall of the restroom building, laughing hysterically as her hooves held her stomach, trying to prevent herself from cracking a rib due to the magnitude of her laughing.
Applejack looked at Rainbow Dash with the most annoyed, yet embarrassed, expression on her face imaginable.
“Ah take it ya heard about the loss of mah sister’s innocence?”
“You betcha!” Rainbow Dash said as she finally started to stop laughing, wiping some tears from her eyes, “it was bucking hilarious to hear.”
“That’s mighty inconsiderate of you, laughing at mah sister's situation.”
“But it's funny.”
“She’s just a school-aged filly, and she saw Caramel and ah making love. How in all of Equestria is that funny!?!” Applejack shouted at her still smiling friend.
“It just is.” Rainbow Dash snickered. When she saw her friend’s angry face, Rainbow Dash nudged her in the shoulder, “Aw, come on I’m just kidding. So she saw you and Caramel having a little fun, it’s not like she knew what you two were doing, she thought you were wrestling. Lighten up AJ it isn’t that big of a deal.”
Applejack pushed Rainbow Dash's nudging hoof away in irritation, “Don’t ya dare tell me ta lighten up, ya’ll would act the exact same way if Scootaloo saw you and Thunderlane in bed and drew a picture of y'all "doin' it".”
“Big Mac told me it’s on your fridge, is this true?” Rainbow Dash asked with a grin, “The sexy picture, do you actually keep it on your fridge?”
Applejack opened her mouth to answer, but stopped. It was true. The drawing had so thoroughly impressed everypony that it had been hung up on the door of the refrigerator. Big Mac and Applejack wanted to take it down, but whenever they did Apple Bloom would start to cry, asking why they took down her drawing. Rather than simply explain to her it showed an image most ponies would consider inappropriate, they conceded and left it up. Only when others came over would they hide it from their eyes. Even then the little yellow filly would want them to see it, which led to many awkward conversations with guests.
“Only…only when it's just us and Caramel.”
“So you can’t be too ashamed of it. I mean, if you were, I’d think you would’ve burned the picture and fed the ashes to Winona.”
“Ah AM ashamed RD! Ah'm downright ashamed of mahself for having mah sister see me and Caramel like that!"
"Easy now, AJ. Don't go losing your cool over something so trivial." Rainbow Dash said, which only made Applejack even angrier.
"Well then stop actin’ so high and mighty about it! Y’all can deny it all you want, but ah know for a fact ya wouldn’t be fine with the same thing happening to you!"
Now Rainbow Dash’s happy expression changed into once of defense, “Yes I would.”
“No ya wouldn’t!"
Rainbow Dash took a step closer to Applejack so they were face-to-face, “Enough AJ. You’re only saying that because you were afraid, and to make yourself feel better you say I’d be freaking out! Well I wouldn’t, and do you know why? Because unlike you, I’m not a scardy-pony that can’t laugh at myself."
“Ya don’t understand what it’s like because it ain’t ever happened to you. Do ya know how ah feel? Not only did mah little sister see me and mah coltfriend bucking like a couple of prime steers…”
“Okay, thanks for that image.” Rainbow Dash muttered with a shudder.
“…but now the whole town thinks we’re a bunch of perverts! And in-between that and the whole “lesbian love affair” ah have going with you, it’s like ah can’t win.”
“Ha! I knew it, you are scared! You're afraid of what everypony thinks of you! You really are a scardy-pony!”
“So are you.”
“Am not!”
“Then why are y’all so against us kissing, huh?”
Rainbow Dash’s expression falls for a second, showing a glimmer of vulnerability, before she hardens again, back to her serious, stubborn self, “T-that’s different, I don’t want to kiss you because I don’t like mares in that way…not that there’s…”
“…anything wrong with that, yeah ah know.” Applejack finished Rainbow Dash’s statement before she continued on her own rant, “But it’s also because ya don’t want ta stir up the rumors of us being in love."
"That's bogus AJ."
"But that's exactly what you told Pinkie Pie not four minutes ago!”
“I just said that to get her to drop the bet so I wouldn’t have to kiss you! It doesn’t mean I care what the town thinks. Heck, I don’t care what anypony thinks about me!”
“Oh yeah? Then prove it!” Applejack harshly hissed at her friend, their faces as close to each other as when Pinkie Pie tried to get them to kiss.
Without thinking about anything other than proving her friend wrong, Rainbow Dash closed the tiny gap between her and Applejack's muzzles and kissed her cowpony friend right on the lips. The orange pony’s eyes bugged out in shock and her cheeks turned bright red. Her friend had taken her by surprise with this impulsive act, and she wasn't sure what to do. So she just stood in place, eyes wide and unblinking; her body unresponsive as if she were frozen in ice.
But her friend's reaction didn't stop Rainbow Dash from continuing to kiss her on the lips, trying her best not to heave up the daisy-sandwich she had for lunch earlier that day. She wasn't enjoying the kiss any more than Applejack was, but she refused to give her friend the satisfaction of chickening out of it. She was going to make this kiss look as genuine and as passionate as possible, and to do that she made sure her eyes were closed and any outward appearance of her true uncomfortable feeling hidden. She just had to keep telling herself it wasn't a big deal, it was only to prove a point.
Besides, it wouldn’t be like hundreds of ponies would see them kissing, only a couple ponies walking by might. Fortunately, everypony seemed to be watching the race, and nopony seemed interested in using the bathroom, or if they were they simply walked by. Only about ten ponies, in fact, were in the general vicinity, most of which were so engaged in their conversation that they didn’t notice the two, straight, stereotyped mares making out in front of them. As long as there wasn't lasting evidence of this action, it wouldn't be an issue.
Eventually, Rainbow Dash broke the kiss and stared at Applejack with a victorious grin.
“Ha! I told you, I’m not afraid!”
For a moment, Applejack just kept staring in shock, her mouth quivered as she tried to respond. But instead of saying something, she did the second thing that was on her mind. She started to spit on the ground like a rapid-fire gun.
Rainbow Dash laughed. “Aw! What’s wrong, don’t like to taste the rainbow!?!”
“Shut up!” Applejack muttered as she began to lick the back of her hoof, trying to scrape the “kiss” away.
Rainbow Dash just kept laughing, “Oh lighten up AJ, it isn’t that big of a deal.”
“Ya just kissed me in public RD.” Applejack hissed in a small whisper, “What if other ponies saw us?”
“Oh, who cares? There’s literally hundreds of ponies in this arena, and you worry about a couple passer byes that might have or might not have seen us engage in a little peck on the lips?”
Applejack opened her mouth to answer, but then shut it. She let out a sigh, “Ah…ah guess I see your point Rainbow.”
Applejack sighed as Rainbow Dash nudged her playfully, her face no longer showing smug arrogance, but the genuine smile of a friend that was just playing around.
“Hey, come on dude. It was just a harmless, little joke.”
Applejack looked up at her friend and chuckled, “Eh, ah guess…it was still gross though. How didn’t you get grossed out?”
“Because I'm just that awesome.” Rainbow Dash laughed. "As you should know...my lover
Rainbow Dash said "love" in a suggestive tone as she fluttered her eye-lashes lovingly at Applejack, who nervously backed away. Rainbow Dash’s expression quickly changed back to goofy and she laughed, “Man, you should see the look on your face. Priceless!”
Rainbow Dash trotted past a stunned looking Applejack and entered the bathroom. Once she shook herself from the shock of her best friend giving her “bedroom eyes”, Applejack turned and made her way to the bathroom.
“Ya know I’m gonna get y’all back, right?”
“Ha! Looking forward to it!” Rainbow Dash shouted as Applejack entered the bathroom, the door closing behind them as they finally got to do the thing that they set off to do in the first place, relieve themselves of their soft drinks.
After finishing their business with the porcelain god, Rainbow Dash and Applejack made their way up the stairs. As they passed each row, ponies began to whisper and point at them. Both mares were confused by this behavior and started to get nervous. Suddenly, a couple of ponies started to clap their hooves for them, saying things like “congratulations” and “well done”, as they made their ascension towards their seats. They were confused by this behavior, and immediately began to feel uneasy with the all of the ponies that seemed to be focused on them instead of the race, which was in effect.
Once they reached their seats, they saw Pinkie Pie looking at them with the biggest grin on her face.
“Um…Pinkie why are you staring at us like we’re made of candy?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“You two silly fillies!” Pinkie said as she ran over and hugged them both, “I just knew eventually you’d come to your senses!”
“What are you…” Applejack began, only to be cut off when the hyperactive mare hugged her around the neck.
“You shouldn’t be ashamed of how you feel for each other.” Pinkie Pie giggled before breaking the hug. Applejack stared at her friend in confusion before she turned so her eyes were facing out towards the race-track and, namely, the jumbo-tron that had previously been showing the current race, replays from previous races, and the scoreboard for the Wonderbolts competing. But these things weren't the main thing that was showing now. Even with the race still in effect, the jumbo-tron was promoting an image that had nothing to do with the race itself.
Once Applejack saw what was being shown, her eyes went wide and her jaw dropped.
“Pinkie what are...?” Rainbow Dash began, only to stop when Applejack tapped her on the side. Rainbow Dash turned to see Applejack pointing here hoof out, her face still in complete shock as she stared out towards the jumbo-tron. Rainbow Dash looked to see what the screen was showing. Once she did, her face changed into an expression not too different from Applejack’s. An expression of pure shock and humiliation.
There, on the giant jumbo-screen, for the entire stadium of ponies to see, was an image of Rainbow Dash and Applejack engaging in a full-out kiss on the lips.
Apparently the stadium's camera operators decided to have one of its “candid moments” where ponies attending the event were randomly filmed and, unfortunately for Rainbow Dash and Applejack, the camera had caught their little act and broadcast it onto the jumbo-tron as they did it. Even worse as they were the only once that knew it was completely fabricated.
Just then the screen's image changed to show the two petrified mares looking at the jumbo screen. Their own, current reflections flashed into their eyes as everypony turned their attention to either the jumbo-tron, or the two horrified mares themselves, if they were close enough to see. There was some laughter, but it was mostly positive. Nearly the entire stadium erupted into applause, the ponies present starting to shout heartening messages to, what they thought was, the new romantically-intimate lesbian couple.
None of these encouraging signs helped Rainbow Dash and Applejack overcome the dread that they felt. All the two mares wanted to do was disappear. It would have if they were actually in love, but they weren’t. And now, with this video evidence for the hundreds of pony at the race to see, both of them knew that they'd never be able to talk themselves out of it. They would forever be known as the mares that were secret lovers while staying in false relationships with their coltfriends.
Rainbow Dash wanted to fly away as quickly as possible, but the shock she felt over the situation prevented her from moving an inch, so she just stood there. Besides, it wasn’t like going back to Ponyville would be an escape from this event, as many ponies in the crowd were from Ponyville. And knowing how rumor-obsessed Ponyville was, this tape and this event weren't going to be isolated solely to the stadium. In fact, more likely than not, The Ponyville Express would most likely get a hold of it and start printing stories in the next day's edition about the picture. Even a mainstream newspaper could be as ruthless as "gabby gums" when it came to gossip.
Applejack wished that Twilight would appear in the stands and teleport both mares away to safety. But she knew that was impossible, that Twilight was still in Ponyville doing whatever bookworms did on the weekend, most likely reading books and practicing new spells. Either way, both ponies stayed put and took their embarrassment as stoically as possible. But with their blushing faces and nervous expressions, their humiliation proved to be a difficult thing to hide.
Pinkie Pie found herself so caught up in the joy of the two “love-birds” expressing their feelings for each other, that she threw her hooves around them and hugged them tightly. She poked her head in-between their heads, giving them her big, goofy grin.
“I am so proud of both of you! You two make an adorable couple! Hey! Maybe someday you’ll get married!” Pinkie Pie gasped, “Oh my gosh I have to go tell Rarity so she can take your dresses out of the back of her shop to give you two to wear at the reception! I'll see you two lover-ponies later!”
Pinkie Pie turned to leave, but then stopped as she remembered one more thing. She then turned to her friends and poked her head in between them, “Oh and the kiss settles the bet. I know how much it’s been bothering you and I hate making my friends feel uncomfortable so yep you’re all set!”
And with that, Pinkie Pie darted off, leaving her two friends to face the consequences of their embarrassing action.
“This situation could not get any more awkward.” Rainbow Dash said under her breath, quiet enough for nopony but Applejack to hear.
As soon as Applejack heard her friend utter these words, she grimaced and a cold shiver ran down her spine. She remembered how Caramel said the exact same thing right before Apple Bloom got her cutie mark for her “artistic talent” after drawing the two of them making love. So she knew that once Rainbow Dash uttered those jinxing words, things would soon be getting even more awkward.
“I can’t believe the Apples keep that drawing of you and AJ on the fridge.” Thunderlane said as he took a swig of his cider.
“Well if they don’t, Apple Bloom gets upset. And once she gives them those big sad eyes that only a filly her age could muster up, they can't find it in themselves to take it down. At least that's what AJ tells me.” Caramel muttered as he drank some water from a cup.
“That’s unfortunate.” Thunderlane laughed.
Both he and Caramel we at Caramel’s house, a modest place for a colt his age to reside. The walls were painted a cool blue, which Thunderlane always said made him feel like he was on the inside of a blueberry. The carpet was a near spotless white, and the furniture was neatly spaced out, giving the home a feeling of order, something Thunderlane couldn’t attest to, as his own house was a pig-sty. Both friends were sitting on the living room couch watching the Wonderbolts’ event on Caramel’s modest television set. It wasn't a flat-screen, but it got the job done.
Thunderlane couldn’t help but laugh as he watched Caramel drink his water.
“Dude, why don’t you drink cider?”
Caramel pulled the cup away from his lips, “I don't drink alcohol.”
“What are you, a mare or something? Except you, everypony I know drinks. Even Applejack and Rainbow Dash drink. Heck, sometimes they drink more than I do.”
Caramel shrugged, “It's just not my thing, just like wearing your mane in a normal fashion isn't yours. I don’t ask why you put it into a mohawk, do I?”
"Didn't think I'd ever have to say why, but with you I probably should have." Thunderlane put his hoof onto the top of his mane and grinned, “I do it because mohawks are wicked cool; not that you’d know anything about that."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"You're the nerdiest colt in Ponyville that is still not technically a nerd.”
“Whatever man, I still think your mane looks obnoxious.” Caramel muttered.
"Exactly, you would think that because you can't appreciate its true awesomeness." Thunderlane laughed before taking another nice, huge swig from his mug of cider. Caramel was about to take another sip of water when the image of Rainbow Dash and Applejack standing by their seats was shown. Both colts grinned and began to holler their respective marefriend’s names.
“Whoa! That’s my Dashie!” Thunderlane said, holding his mug to the screen as if to give her “cheers”.
“Yeah AJ!” Caramel said, pumping his hoof a couple of times before he became the love-struck colt he always was when he was around his marefriend, which included him wearing a goofy grin on his muzzle and a rosy glow in his cheeks.
Suddenly, Thunderlane’s ecstatic expression changed into one of confusion.
“Hey, why are they holding the camera on them for so long?”
“Because they’re so cute when the sunlight hits them?” Caramel said as he lovingly eyed Applejack, not caring that both she and Rainbow Dash looked humiliated.
“No, it’s not that.” Thunderlane said. But, unlike the love-struck Caramel, he noticed the mares’ blushing cheeks and wide eyes, “Why do they look so embarrassed?”
As soon as the words left Thunderlane’s mouth, the image of the two mares engaged in their “passionate” kiss was shown on television, the commentators talking about the still image of the video taken, and how “cute” and “romantic” it was to see a loving lesbian couple expressing their true affections for one another. But all Caramel and Thunderlane could do was gawk at the image of their marefriends’ lips pressed together, something neither of them thought they'd see.
Applejack’s eyes wide open in shock while Rainbow Dash’s eyes were closed, like she was actually enjoying the faux make-out session with her best friend. Because of these expressions, the television commentators speculated that Applejack was most likely taken by surprise by the act of love by her “more assertive marefriend”, Rainbow Dash, which is why she looked so shocked during their kiss.
Thunderlane gulped. “Um…Caramel…”
“Y-yes Thunderlane?” Stuttered a blushing Caramel.
“I know I should be upset with this, but…I'm...not.” Thunderlane swallowed nervously.
"Yeah..." Caramel said distantly, not taking his eyes off of the screen.
Suddenly, there was a "poof" sound as Thunderlane's wings flared out and stiffened so they stuck out as if he was gliding through the air instead of sitting on a couch, watching television.
“And I have the most awkward wing-boner right now.” Thunderlane muttered in a mix of embarrassment and shock.
Even after hearing this, Caramel didn't look at his friend's suddenly erect wings. He couldn't look away from the television, not with the image of his marefriend kissing Rainbow Dash. He swallowed before he managed to come up with a reply.
“S-so do I...minus the wing part.”
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Not bad, im not done but so far i see no major grammar mistakes.
Technically, there's nothing actually wrong with this fic. The grammar is nearly perfect and the plot flows nicely. It's just that it's so... boring. I can't figure out specifically what this story's problem is, but I just can't get into it. It's a different take on AppleDash, sure, but it's carried out in such a bland way... plus, the ending is rather cheesy.
Didnt really like the ending, and i personally dont care, but it was a stupid move to reveal appleblooms cutie mark. It wasnt too bad thoigh, there were a few parts i liked.
1377731
Thanks for the criticism. I'll be sure to work on making my stories more interesting.
1377833
I'm glad you enjoyed some of it. And yeah, sorry about the bad ending .
I don't see anything wrong with this. It's exactly as it describes itself.
I'd like to actually read a sequel to this. There is so much that needs wrapping up
I'm guessing though that you don't have actual AppleDash planned huh?
1377976
No, sorry.
I am working on a longer, action/drama fic that involves shipping, though. (not saying if its AppleDash or not, you'll have to wait and see)
1378051
You're a quite decent writer and AppleDash from you would be glorious 
It better be
1378058
Thanks for the compliment man
This is funny, bit straightforward but entertaining nonetheless. You should stretch it into a series where they (AJ and RD) have to figure out a way to show everyone that they're actually straight. That would make for some good stuff and hilarious shenanigans. Either way, nice job!
I'm going to try an keep my dislike for AppleDash out of this.
Ponies don't have hands.
Not really an error, but breaking the fourth wall is usually looked down upon.
Similar to the 'hand' issue, ponies don't have arms.
Ah should be capitalized, as AJ is referring to herself.
Missing quotation mark after lover.
Personally, I didn't like it (AppleDash notwithstanding). This was mostly due to the ending, which failed to wrap up the story. I would have much preferred AJ and RD to spend some time trying to convince everypony that they still aren't gay (not that there's anything wrong with that
), and maybe a bit of conflict between them and their coltfriends. Then again, that could drag it out into a big multi-part story.
1377731
I think it's just you. I found it entertaining, and it flowed pretty well. I agree with you on the ending, though.
1378597
Yeah after what everyone's been saying I might do that down the line (write a longer fanfic with the premise of Applejack and Rainbow Dash trying to convince everypony that they aren't in love)
Dat ending!
Dang it. I thought this was going to be an AppleDash fic. >.< Guess not. :/
Stallions! So predictable and so one-dimensional. At least there won't be any difficultly getting them in 'the mood' for the comfort-sex that I have no doubt that Applejack and Rainbow Dash will be needing after this fiasco. Unfortunately, I'm figuring that both Rainbow and Applejack will be fielding hints from their respective coltfriends for a private repeat performance but taken a lot further. I also think that both stallions in question will be doing couch time, if they don't end up in hospital, especially after they confirm that the other is "okay with this" so long as they get a "return engagement" in due time.
As for the mares themselves? They are going to have to deal with endless congratulations from friends and acquaintances as well as a semi-serious query from Trollestia and Trolluna about whether or not there should be a state wedding for two of the Elements of Harmony.
Tracking this one, and a thumbs up just because. Feels a little
stiffawkwardly worded in places, maybe a little unevenly paced. What's more important is that it's a fun read. I can imagine a couple more chapters like this - one where RD has everything go wrong (her version of chapter 1), another one like chapter 2 where everything backfires for the two of them, then maybe a wrapup chapter where it's all concluded... preferably with AppleDash (and both still in denial!).Awesome reactions all around
This story is awesome, please continue
1377861
OMFG that was good, even if there isn't a sequel, keep it in your time-line of fanfic's, though the aftermath would be HAWT (Probably cloppy, Dash and AJ making out while thunder and caramel watch would be fucking hot)
So this is what an episode of Seinfeld with ponies would be like.
1377976>>1378051
I can see it now, the master plan: Thunder and caramel DO eventually convince the pair to kiss again, make out, and further. AJ and Dash eventually get into it so much that they decide the stallions are lame and not worth it, and dump them. They then continue as a happy AppleDash ship!
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/28/_9PQWuSVDUuWkwZdJRHO1Q2.jpg
Fantastic story
You somehow have managed to write a story like this where I don't feel too incredibly awkward to continue reading. I call it the Doug Funny Effect...
I just noticed something.
I believe you meant to say in progress.
1387561
This idea
arch.413chan.net/I%27m_Liking_This_Idea-(n1309917639647).png
This was good, and funny. I really liked it, however I noticed one issue (aside from what's already been pointed out) :
When using quotes inside of quotes, the quotation marks should be single, not double. Should look like this:
That aside, good work.
Hands = Humans. I see what you did there.
Also the ending ... priceless.
Good story. Fav and watch.
That was so incredibly awkward. But I liked, so have a
.
1530679
The voyage continues?
1530692 Of course. Your stuff's pretty fun to read
Also
Funny take on hetero shipping really, it's really quite funny to see it play out from non "marefreinds" POV. Though i dislike caramel for his only screen time as a grump (though i cant really recall what he did i ought to look for that exactly so i can clarify on later points), He and thunderlane keep to a male POV quite well in the end though it was really odd reading that particular dialogue.
Now i avoided the original story on my own bias of disliking Caramel as a character but with this story in mind i do believe i owe giving it a shot and shall.
Also quite liked Pinkie playing matchmaker so intently it fits quite amusingly.
The story progression ought to be quite interesting now, i look forward to the reception their friends will have for AJ and RD, especially Rarity i love me some love obsessed rarity going over the top.
I will watch for the next part, and thanks for the laugh!
1608263
Np. I am still thinking about doing a third part, and your review makes me more determined to do so.
I heavily suggest "Sex, Fillies and Crayon-made Drawings" if you liked this. To this day I still consider that story my funniest (then again, that's just me. comedy is up to the audience, not the author lol)
I love how you're in the AppleDash competition, and this is basically the anti-AppleDash. You write a lot of different things.
1833290
Yeah I do lol. I also have a TwiXDash fic. Each of my stories occurs in a different reality unless mentioned otherwise
My stories are eclectic, to say the least.
AHAHAHA, no. Leave.
At the end i can just imaging that song playing in the background while Thunder and Caramel get their Wing-/Boners.
Man you got me laughing again. Though deep down I really wanted them to get all appledash and discover they did love each. I guess its just funnier this way. Also the ending was priceless. Nice job
I loved "Sex, Fillies, and Crayon-Made Drawings." This, however, rubbed me the wrong way.The forced shipping pisses me off. Pinkie Pie should know better than that, and I think even in her craziest moment she would have enough respect for her friends not to try to force them to kiss.
I'm also extremely put off by any act of betrayal of one lover toward another, but in this case it's a minor issue because Caramel and Thunderlane don't mind and they'll probably be very understanding of Applejack's and Rainbow Dash's explanations. Much more-so than everyone else, at least.
Finally, I don't buy that Rarity would get the shipping bug about Rainbow Dash and Applejack while they deny it vehemently, when she's already got excuses to make wedding dresses anyway with the relationships that Rainbow Dash and Applejack actually admit to being in. Fluttershy not believing the two comes completely out of left field. I'll concede that Pinkie Pie can jump to conclusions easily, such as her failure to properly investigate the culprit behind damage to Sugarcube Corner's prize-worthy cake, but she normally has uncanny understanding and knowledge, and she should have known the truth behind the rumors and RD and AJ's real love interests.
Props to Twilight for not buying into the rumors. I'd feel better about this if AJ and RD actually managed to clear up the rumors, and maybe Pinkie Pie seeing the wrong of her basically trying to ship-rape her friends. Maybe learning a lesson in actually listening to one another. I realize I'm taking this a bit seriously for a story with such a non-serious tone, but I really can't help it.
Brilliant, just brilliant!
~ADG
Pinkie Pie.... don't let me hate you for forcing a shupping they didn't like...
1378216
Like fuked their boyfriend in public ?
That's a good idea i think
1482979
You too you search stories with that inestimable ship
the "taste the rainbow" part had me dying haha