• Member Since 25th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 29th, 2014

gmen15


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Naturally, most would think that having a destiny of good luck would be something wonderful. Who wouldn't love winning every competition? Who wouldn't love never having to worry about finding a job? Who wouldn't love to have everything handed to them without having to work at it?

One pony would beg to differ with this sentiment. Lucky Clover is a colt that has lived such a life, a life that has become more of a curse than a blessing. What once seemed to be great has turned into a nightmare, for being lucky all of the time does not necessarily mean life will be a simple trot in the park. On the contrary, it can present challenges that most would never face.

[A/N] I think I might have seen a story like this before, centered on a pony with perpetual luck, but I've decided to roll with this idea and give a story (with some background) to one of the most under-represented background ponies in this fandom.

With that said, I hope you enjoy. :)

Edited by: Twi-Guy

Story Slightly Inspired by: Every Thorn Has its Rose

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 105 )

lol the giants/

"or a solid gold toilet bowl.

Man, I spent a lot of time imagining that toilet."

Dinkleberg...

Oh man, that was a good story...

I don't have much to say, except it was good. I can see how such luck would be annoying as fuck. Not being able to join anything, no need to work for anything. Blech. Not even being able to successfully kill yourself xD
Though I suppose that's a good thing.

2832991

In hindsight it is, definitely. Everyone has those impulsive moments where you do something only to regret it later.

Most aren't as drastic as killing yourself, obviously, but doing things you eventually regret is common lol.

Anyways, I'm happy that you enjoyed the story :twilightsmile:

This is great! Is their relationship and the story going to continue; because this chapter is so good it seems like a whole novel.

2833003

Yeah, there is that. Impulsively punch this one rich obnoxious douchebag who threatens to send some very mean people after you? Guess what? Those people happen to be ones that owe you a huge favor and decide to fake the whole thing! xD

You know if he were to join the Guard in a time of war.... Well, pray for those that challenge Equestria :rainbowlaugh:

2833017

I didn't plan on it. Right now I'm in the middle of writing another fic ("My Brother the Storyteller") and also trying to get some non-pony writing done while I still have time this summer before I have to go back to school in August.

I did have an idea for another possible one-shot tied into this starring Noteworthy and another with Wildfire, but I have too much on my plate now to consider stretching this out. But who knows. Maybe. :pinkiehappy:

2833018

...That's actually a great idea for a story. I suppose you make the conflict centered on Lucky trying his best to protect as many of his fellow soldiers as possible from death it could work (and when he fails he breaks apart since he feels like he could have done more since he wouldn't be able to die).

Maybe a black comedy or a full-blown drama.

2833038

That would be one heck of a read. He'd probably get a whole stack of kills on his side too. Probably get a medal and everything which would add to the whole breaking apart thing.

...I still don't see the problem with being lucky. I mean, yes, you've listed all the parts and everything that comes with it. But I still can't see it being THAT bad. You still have friends and family, and when money and security are no longer and issue, you can TRULY enjoy those two aspects then. Although the stallion with the pearl necklace... lulz.

Good story. :scootangel:

2832850 *meanwhile dinkleberg had 20 gold toilets in his house*

The story was quite good, however I do think that Lucky is a bit wallowing in self-pity : He is unhappy because he never has to earn anything ? As an average human being, I can certify that having to work to achieve anything sucks, although i can understand the pain of being shunned from any activities.

2833253

I think a lot of people would like being lucky all of the time, at least for a while, but there is also that feeling of guilt that comes from "getting things you don't deserve while those around you struggle". So yeah maybe Lucky is wallowing a bit in some self-pity but I do think there are those that eventually would feel bad given his situation, especially after society has basically said he has an unfair advantage and should feel bad about it (hence the parents complaining about the talent show).

Then again, reality is different than fiction so I wouldn't be surprised if real individuals would never grow weary of being lucky all of the time like Lucky, especially if they feel like they don't deserve it. Just my take on it, though. Everyone would probably respond to it differently.

I think the genuine reason he doesn't exploit his luck is that he is a decent person with empathy for others. If he wasn't he would be actively trying to figure out his luck power to exploit it for maximum personal gain.

Words can't describe how much I enjoyed this fanfic. You deserve more views and likes for this work, seriously.

fascinating story.....

Very nice.
I rather enjoy how you've been able to take a concept like "Luck as a Cutie Mark" and turn it on it's head. It's always refreshing to see somebody taking a concept like that to its logical conclusion, including the possible long term effects on a person.
I especially enjoy how identifiable you've made Lucky.
We're all human and have to work for the things we want, but I think everybody has at least one moment in their life when they receive something, but don't feel they deserve it. Lucky's absolute despondence at his lot in life was therefore believable, and made him identifiable as a character.
An excellent story indeed.

And good job on making the feature box!

2833319 I think you mean pony?:unsuresweetie:

You know....I like the story, the idea, everything! A very interesting idea of a pony and how being lucky all the time can also lead to a life of depression of someone's luckiness. The pacing was good, the emotion shown are understandable and you get a feel from the character. This my friend is a very good one-shot and gets My thumbs up.

...

But maybe not too much of a fan in the part at the end with Roseluck and Lucky. Call me crazy, but sometimes shippings kinda like this isn't to my taste. I did like the twisted mystery of the Spelling Bee story through and it still gets my approval.

This my friend is a very good one-shot and gets My thumbs up.


Nothing else to say about it.

2833288
He should be doing something with his life that makes him feel deserving.
Specifically, he should join the guard. That way his luck would be benefitting everybody, not just himself. A competent commander would easily be able to exploit his luck. Something like "Whichever guard finds the missing colt gets a one bit reward".

Perhaps as a sequel?

Something that Lucky failed to understand, that no matter how bad his life got, it could always get worse.
Rule #1 in the Army. Take luck and run with it for as long as you can. Because life will (not can) get worse.

Nice and interesting story, after being shunned by others for his talent, he becomes self-aware of how his luck is a double-edge sword. How, no matter the level of effort and intent, he can never find satisfaction. Never knowing a honest earning from the 'sweat of his brow', not of hardship that in turn would give him principles to follow by. After all, having fortunate circumstances all the time doesn't equate to having great principle that is earned for having a earnest and enduring life, which Lucky is envied to have.
Funny how it is similar to having a Midas Touch or mortal-turned Immortality, where it's good in hind-sight, but can become a curse with the complications that comes with it.

Overall, nice story, it's funny how you used the character's history to make connections to background events like in The Canterlot Wedding flashback. Anyhow, keep up the goodwork man:pinkiehappy:

This is very good.

Wait.....
I have an idea.

If his luck can save him from death........
Have him join the guard! I mean think about it, if he can survive killing himself then that means he possesses an ultimate-karma-armor. He would be invincible. :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

General Augustus Spear ;Royal Guard:
By Celestias sweet flaming teats! We can shove this kid down a dragons throat and he will still manage a way to survive. He might even slay it without noticing!

*drinks scotch*

This story feels very contrived to me.

First, the protagonist's talent works in blatant and overpowered ways. What people call 'luck' is the tendency of random and unpredictable events to array in one's favor. A magical reality-altering force, in order to deserve that name, would have to work subtly, in ways that could plausibly occur naturally, even in its absence. An ability to arbitrary alter anything isn't luck, it's being a god. You wouldn't call Discord lucky just because it so happens that reality rearranges itself to accomodate him whenever he snaps his fingers, right?

And the protagonist's power seems more like Discordian reality-warping than good fortune. I mean, his cutie mark somehow mindrapes the jurors of the talent show into giving him the first place despite everyone knowing that it's ridiculous. It can make others loose at tic-tac-toe, a game with ridiculously simple perfect play strategy. It completely dominates the result of team-based sport games. This reads like one of those parody meta-stories about a Mary Sue who's sad because she's a Mary Sue.

Except that Lucky Clover is more of an anti-Sue. His talent is actually malevolently focused on making him miserable. If it can make the jury of a talent show arbitrarily award the main prize to a total piano noob, then why can't it make another change of similar magnitude and make all the angry parents spontaneously decide that they're ok with this? Why doesn't it ever avert the negative consequences of his undeserved breaks? And why doesn't it change even after Lucky realizes that having arbitrary successes thrown his way is making him miserable and stops wishing for it? All the alterations of reality very transparently lead to Lucky's life becoming worse. Once again, there's not enough subtlety to make this seem like a story about unintended consequences of good luck. This is a story about a guy who has a magical force constantly affecting his life in order to screw him over, which for whatever reason has been labeled 'luck' even though it isn't. It's artificial conflict.

I haven't even touched the story yet but I want yo to know THIS STORY HAS MASSSIVE POTENTIAL:heart:
THE DEPTH AND CREATIVITY if properly prepared at preheated 400 degrees attention updates and thorough pre reading for errors. CAN CREATE A BEAUTIFUL MASTERPIECE.

2834403

Thanks. I hope you enjoy it. :twilightsmile:

Interesting take on being "lucky". :) Like immortality this weapon grade luck needs careful handling and I think you did a magnificent job!

Favorited.

2834128
im sorry did i miss something?... :derpyderp1:
what is a cutie mark?
can pegasie lay on clouds?
can celestia move the sun moon and weather (under extreme circumstances) almost entirely because her cutie mark represents she has to take care of the entire population?
can twilight sparkle who and I quote from the actual show "when your special talent is magic" harvest entire f****** apple orchards with minimal effort?
I bet that the story of how he got his cutie mark was from helping others with his good luck. but he gets used to his good luck and he gets self centered and depressed and doesn't try to do stuff for other people(I HAVEN'T TOUCHED THIS STORY AT ALL) and that leads to this story and what happens in it.

This is a story worthy of being the top of the featured list. That's not luck my friend.

*Terrible joke results in cosmic slap upside the head.*

Lol, 'schism'

I am never going to look at this poor guy's name and never think of God Hand. Because, as we all know, Lucky Clover always wins.

I'll read this later.

u should continue the story:fluttershysad:

hmmmm can succeed at anything i attempt.....

Wow. That was beautifully insightful, and downright beautiful.

2834128 You have a good point, but at the same time, you don't.

The story only once hinted at luck altering the minds of others (this is debatable, seeing as how there is a possibility that luck just simply gave him a jury of piano enthusiasts, or some other physical event was altered, after all, he 'lucked out' at getting a baking job because the owner thought he was cracking a joke instead of insulting him and laughed about it). Otherwise, it just manipulates physical events around him in his favor, regardless of whether or not he actually likes what happened.

Just because he has good luck, does not mean that others will like him because of it. Hell, I admit I'd find it hard to like a guy that gets everything he wants and wins everything he plays simply by merit of participating.

As for his depression, well, it's understandable. What worth is there to living a life in which no effort is ever needed to be put forth in? Why should I have to care or push myself if I can never fail at anything I do because I will always catch a lucky break that solves any and all problems for me without any effort put forth on my part?

It'd drive me mad.

Of course, logically speaking, our main character could have easily found a use for his endless luck in a way that would get him lots of respect and admiration. Of course, I mean by finding a job that would allow him to make use of his excessive luck by allowing him to use it to help those in need.

Things like becoming a doctor, law enforcement officer, soldier, charity worker/owner, and a variety of other jobs that are focused around helping others. I bet you that employers/recruiters would be falling all over themselves to hire someone like him.

Of course, as any sufferer of depression will tell you, logic alone is not enough to snap you out of an episode. At least, I assume as much. I have never been diagnosed with such a thing and don't really know anyone that suffers from it.

2835545 Trust me, logic doesn't work. Often when you use logic while depressed you simply validate everything negative with seemingly rational conclusions and arguments. =/

2835545
This luck seemed to target survival more than anything else. Anything that made his life easier to survive and thrive in was physically nudged in his favor. The sheer aggression of which it did this was a bit implausible as a talent is something you just naturally are good at doing. If HE was good at being lucky, it would stem directly from his choices and would go no further than him being able to guess right often, react just right, or suddenly feel the urge to do odd things that later benefited him. He'd be good at noticing the way things where going, figuring the odds, and guessing right when he wasn't sure. If he didn't know something, he'd still get it wrong, if he wasn't strong enough or fast enough, he could still be overwhelmed or would even simply feel that the situation would end badly before going into it. Talents are always character centric. They are never some sort of reality warping spell.

Another thing is that I don't get why he isn't putting that good luck to use, whether aiding ponies in society who are less fortunate (sort of lending them his luck in a way), or using it to protect them. An extremely lucky solider would dominate a battlefield in which chaos, uncertainty, and deception are the primary factors playing against them. There is always a challenge worth facing, if not for your own reward, then perhaps for the rewards of others.

2835803 Though your point is completely valid and realistic.
we are talking about a land filled with magical talking ponies...
no logic or sound reason is needed lol :twilightsheepish:
a story based on Fiction Needs not follow the laws of the universe.
I have not read this yet but i like to keep an open mind.
your right in saying that its not realistic as far as what we know from the actual show.
but if the story telling itself is good... why care ? :scootangel:

2835545

The story only once hinted at luck altering the minds of others (this is debatable, seeing as how there is a possibility that luck just simply gave him a jury of piano enthusiasts, or some other physical event was altered, after all, he 'lucked out' at getting a baking job because the owner thought he was cracking a joke instead of insulting him and laughed about it). Otherwise, it just manipulates physical events around him in his favor, regardless of whether or not he actually likes what happened.

It hinted at it in other cases as well, like every other pony flubbing their job interview, always winning at tic-tac-toe (there's no luck involved in that game), and so on. Now sure, something weird could always have happened, but that isn't stated either. Had examples been given, like a bee sting resulting in a wrongly-placed piece for tic-tac-toe; some fast flu or accident trashing the competition in the talent show; a ton of fumbles, slips, and such in the team sports; and so on, then it would be clear that luck is always involved. Not the case though. He just gets his way. All of it makes his power seem to be more about destiny than luck.

It'd probably have made the story more interesting to me if it had been actual luck, and that his depression was more about his luck meaning bad luck for others. Someone, for example, lost a book full of precious stamps for him to find. Of course, we don't know who, because he just takes it home and hides it. There's also nothing there that shows what happens if he tries to refuse his luck. If he did try to return the stamp book, would he have found that its owner left the country? We don't know.

Instead, he's pretty much a self-centered loser, going around saying "woe is me." Now, okay, he's depressed, and has been since he was a kid, but I don't feel for the guy, and also cannot see what Roseluck sees in him. I guess maybe she's one of those that needs someone to care for. In which case she'll be unhappy if he becomes happy. And no matter what, he's got to wonder if she's actually into him, or if it is just his talent making it so...

Having the gift of such a fortune would get tiresome if you kept it to yourself. Sharing his luck with others, as he eventually realizes, would be a fulfilling use of his talent!
A valuable lesson indeed. It would make for an excellent end-of-episode letter to Celestia! :raritystarry:

In other news, I hereby christen this ship the Luckluck!
As for his previous girlfriend, there were... some very good reasons that couple broke up. :twilightblush:
p.twimg.com/AxaQZuOCIAAE8u7.jpg:large (click to enlarge if it's too small?)

2833062>>2833038 I shall follow you both right now JUST for the possibility of reading a story like this.

2837235

I actually just started working on a one-shot centered on Lucky as a colt with his father (sort of a father-son thing where he has a talk with him after a particularly bad day at school- back before he got his cutie mark) so that I can sort of add to his character and further explain why being lucky all of the time has the negative impact on him that it does. I might end up writing a bunch of stories starring him so we will see.

Thanks for the watch. :pinkiesmile:

2837020
By Celestia's blazing hot libido, that's one heck on an image xD

2837235

B..But why me? If anything like that gets written it'll be this brilliant author who does it! :rainbowderp:

2837248

I patiently await this. :D

2837263

I appreciate the compliment, but I think you should try it as well. I would like to see more Lucky Clover stories by other people and am actually thinking about making a Lucky Clover group in a few days. So if you have a story idea about him please write it up :pinkiesmile:

2837020

Oh my god...that comic :rainbowlaugh:

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