First.  <3

The original, from the actual author. Buck yeah

YES!

Yay for the classic fic. Sure, I've read it before, but it's nice to know that new bronies can also easily find it.

ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod

Very nice, even after the second read. I had to blast Silva Hounds remix of the song while reading it

Excellent, I've already read this on Fanfiction, but finding it here is... nice.
Great story, all my star are belong to you

In the Rainbow Factory,
where your fears and horrors come true.
In the Rainbow Factory,
where not a single soul gets through.

ugh... gory isn't my thing, but still better than that cupcakes shit.

This was horrifying in the best way possible

Best dark fic ever.

>>89968 GOTA' HESIaa.

>>91225

Hehehe.  Don't worry, you can send your Shub-Niggurath back to the Forest with a Thousand Ewes, because that first was Aury-approved :3

One of the better Grimdark fics, for sure. Good work.

To bad it didn't have Picture at bottom but still Fav.
Now to listern to Rainbow Factory again.

I read this on EQ the other day

Was wondering when this would be posted.

I, I, I, I....
Congrats, you made it. I lost the last bit of sanity i had

You're a terrible person. And no, that's not a setup for an "edgy", "hipster" compliment. I think I might literally dislike you as a human being.

No, I take it back. I retract the "might." I really do dislike you as a human being, maybe even as much as I dislike Kkat.

>>91279
Well, for that comment I dislike you.
This man is not a terrible person, he is a god among men.
If you don't like him becuase of this story then, tough, if you don't like Gridmark then why I you view this?
No sorry, I don't dislike you, I hate you. You are now on the list.

>>91305 your just as bad as him now enjoy contimplating that fact.

>>91324
The difference is:
1. I am judging on hwat he said, not a story about fictional characters.
2. He is worse.
3. I don't really care if I as bad as him.
4. I don't love and tolerate people, becasue that achives nothing.

Well hiya, Aurora! Nice to see your stuff here. <3

Oh shite it's here.

>>91347
What do you mean by that my good sir?
Slowely sips tea.

Oh EM GEEEE!!! You are the terrible person who wrote this?!
It's the most scarring grimdark that I've read. (Yes, worse than cupcakes.) Poor Scoots...
Okay... Fine, it wasn't that scary, but your grimdark actually has an emotional attachment that extends beyond just ruthlessly murdering my beloved ponies in a combine/thresher/industrial machinery/etc.
P.S. Wow, nice to finally see it on FimFiction...

So YOU are the one who made this? Wow, this is really the darkest I've ever seen of Rainbow, as well as the worst logical explanation for why she has a rainbow mane and trail. But nevertheless, this was expertly done. Very enticing to read and it leaves on a note that finishes the story, but still leaves questions up for speculation.
Hope to see more works from you, mate.

>>91376
He's not terrible.

>>91405 Silly filly, I'm just joking, I know he's a literary genius.  And by terrible I'm referring to dark.

wow.

>>91418
Good Job, It would have been very unfortunate if one of your animal 'friends' were to have an accident.
Very unfortunate indeed.

>>91442 *Innocently * Yes, it would indeed be a shame...

What a story, Mark
It creeped me out! (In the good way)

It's really fun!
Scary, but fun!

>>91111

This shouldn't be on Fanfiction. Mind linking me? Whoever posted it there is not me.

And for that matter, Rainbow Factory should only be available on FIMFiction and Google Docs. If anyone finds the whole story, and not just a link to the document, please show me ^_^
I'm fine with the publicity I'd just like to make sure the proper attribution is there.

I guess you could call it...
...A RAINBOW IN THE DAAARKKK!

Annnnnnnndddddd this is the reason scootaloo is better than rainbow now.  



Real Rainbow Dash: LET ME OUT PERVERTED MOTHER BUCKERS! CELESTIA FUCKING HATES YOU TWISTED FUCKERS!!!!!

What did I just read?

It might just be because it was about foals, or it might just be because of the incredibly horrible RD, but I found this more disturbing than cupcakes.

>>91305

Hipsterism ill serves anyone. But least of all someone that loves to think their own property is clean and pure as the driven slush. I know you just want to be cool and ironic, drinking your Pabst for a laugh and listening to music you hate to be a snob. But do it in your underground clubs with your other anticonformist friends.

I will never look at Rainbow Dash the same way again.

At the part where Rainbow Dash reveals herself at first I was like
Then i was like, "NOOOOOO! NOT RAINBOW DASH! WHY?! WHYYYYYY?!?!
From then on with Scootaloo crushed and Rainbow Dash spiraling further into her insanity that almost made me feel sorry for her, I felt... I felt...

Something like that.
Honestly, I don't particularly like stories like these: gory, character destroying. However, this is much better than cupcakes. This holds something sincere and heart-wrenching that isn't simply a Cupcakes shock value trollfic. I appreciate and respect your story a lot more.

Ghost thinks this is funny.
Flare thinks this is completely horrible.
Absinthe doesn't care.
I don't really know what to think.

Read the story, then went to check out your profile for some more works by you... Then I realized you murdered your OC/Alter Ego pony in the story! Why man, why!

Fantastic job mate, the dark in MLP is enhanced greatly due to the usually colorful and happy atmosphere of the show.

well atleast scootaloo died with dignity

Can't really tell if it's better than Cupcakes. Cupcakes makes me grin in a creepy fashion - this leaves me slightly moved. Especially the last line.

As to being scarring... Fallout Equestria stands strong as the most scarring grimdark fanfic out there for me, as that was what desensitized me to ponies being combined with gore and suffering.

>>MeTaLGuArD

Which doesn't change the fact that FoE is my top favourite fanfic of all time.

God.... this story and Cheerilee's Garden.
Just wow... Both tie in the first place of the Grimdark for me!

Holy shit...
That is truly grim as hell. (why did i read this again?)
Still, I applaud your skill for writing.

This was awesome! I loved it! There's really not too much to say about this wonderful fanfiction. You did a great job on this.

Alright. We know the real Rainbow is out here. Come out now, I know you're in the closet.

better than Cupcakes
not as good as Cheerilee's Garden

Cool story bro.

This story is one of the awesomest grimdark things I've ever seen.
(okay, now I'm an official Nightmare Fetishist )

More Grimdark than 40k?

Yes.

Maybe even more Grimdark than 3rd Ed.

Cupcakes isn't Grimdark. Cupcakes is a poorly written horror story. Grimdark implies an absolute lack of hope, utter despair with no chance in hell of ever getting better. 1984 was Grimdark. Saw was poorly written horror. Rainbow Factory is a moving masterpiece. It hits you hard.

When I first read it in august I was emotionally traumatized, for half a week. I had time to reflect on it.

The more you think about it, the more hopeless it is. Celestia has to be in on it. Everyone in power has to be in on it, and it will never, ever, ever EVER get better.

Glorious.

Well damn... R.I.P scootaloo

this is defintly in the on the cupcakes side of things it was ment to be disturbing i think

i must be one cruel f**** as i laughed during this

Holy Buck... that was way more intense than cupcakes!  I think that's the best grimdark I've read in a while, and certainly the darkest per wordcount!

So many gore fics... what's next? Derpy Hooves being some sort of alien creature that needs to feed on muffins so she kidnaps other ponies and turns them into muffins with her magical alien powers so she can eat them! ...nobody write that! That's my idea!

This is a great read!

dude, holy fuck, i almost never read grimdark stuff, but this.....this was good

>>91650
That is a laod of trash, I don't do any of the things you say.

>>91650
In fact all you have done is insult a man who has put quite a lot of effort into his work. And then when people oppose you on it you accuse them of blantent lies.
Good day to you.

>>91910

You sir, exemplify heresy of the highest caliber!

How is a death factory more grimdark than fucking bugs from another galaxy eating everything, monsters fueled by pure negative emotion, superhumans that have dark powers, immortal slaver pirates, undying metal robots, giant hordes of fast reproducing and mobilizing green apes, and every single form of your own goverment killing you for even contemplating something different.

>>92583
Because the Imperium doesn't pretend that life is all happy sunshine like Equestria. 40K is SUPPOSED to be like that. MLP? Nope.

No me gusta. this reminds me of a book like "the supernaturalist" or something by Eoin Colfer

but this ending was unsuccessful for me, i would have hoped for something that gave rd some serious thing to think about, along the lines of, "I Beat you in that race" or "You had to cheat to win" u know something to mess with rd before she dies

but you still get 5 stars, i just disliked the ending. in short, way to fast

Awesome! Even the picture at the end's up!

Firstly, I am relatively new to fanfiction in general, and I have to say that I am disturbed.
Secondly, this is the fourth or fifth consecutive grimdark fic that I've read, which leads me to believe that I am a sadomachist.
Thirdly, a few spelling errors, but nothing so large as to detriment from the story at all.
Fourthly, this was an enjoyable- no, wait... A solid, high quality reading experience.
I must now inject brain bleach directly into my skull and spend a week browsing the comedy fics to suppress the mental images of this fic, so farewell.
Also, I regret to say that I havnt gotten round to Fallout: Equestria; someone mind telling me the basic plot? No spoilers, if possible!

Hmm...it was okay. Tense while reading it, but honestly didn't leave me with any particular emotions after it was over. When a story strays so far from anything believable for canon Equestria, it might as well be a standalone short story with no reference to FiM ponies at all. So if I look at it that way, it was a fairly creepy story while it lasted.

Such a great fanfic

First I'd like to say that the writing in this fic is significantly better than the majority of "pure Grimdark" fics.

I did not like it.
Partially because personally I like my grimdark like I like my shipping: just an aspect of a larger-scope story, not the entire focus of the story itself.
Partially because it brings main characters so OOC that they aren't even recognizable. This makes them feel like they were used merely as an attention grab when having the entire story star only OCs would have kept the level of believability up.
Partially because while the story is written in a chilling way and portraying a dystopian system quite well, the initial concept (rainbows are made from ponies) screams tongue-in-cheek black humor and this fic is written WAY TOO SERIOUSLY. What I'm saying is it was Soylent Green when it should have been Brazil.
Partially because I really liked the song for it's creepy vague "darkness in the light" cynical concept and now I think of this when I listen to it. It basically ruined the song for me.

Cupcakes comparison:
This fic is written MUCH BETTER than Cupcakes was, but it doesn't quite "work" as well as Cupcakes did.
I'm not a fan of Cupcakes either but objectively Cupcakes kept it simple and to the point.
Concept: Pinkie went insane. No backstory, plot or high concept needed, just a what if. and the the rest was gore porn.
Rainbow Factory on the other hand takes the tongue-in-cheek, black humor joke that is Pony Grimdark and takes it too seriously, trying to hard to make it something more than it is: a trollish joke on the fandom.

I don't understand why I keep reading this. In my head, I'm thinking, "this is grimdark, I hate grimdark, I know how this ends, it's not gonna change, why am I opening this?" And then the next thing I know I've reopened the story and I'm rereading it and I'm getting traumatized all over again.

I do, however, think the writing itself is of very high quality. It certainly did what it set out to do - disturb the HELL out of the reader. I still feel shaken, which is more than I can say about "Cupcakes."
"Cupcakes" was shocking, but didn't bother me nearly as much, because it was simply so ridiculously over-the-top that it was impossible to take seriously. And I'm not saying that "Rainbow Factory" is somehow more believable or more in-character, because I just can't imagine Rainbow Dash ever being like this and there's a reason it's tagged "alternate universe," but I am saying that the superior prose made it much easier to get sucked into the twisted, cynical world it presents.

Other commenters keep insisting that this story is somehow heartwrenching and meaningful, but I just don't see it. I'm sorry, but I simply can't see anything especially deep about this. But I will say that I'm surprised at the effect it had on me; it's resonated with me somehow. It lingers, and won't let me stop thinking about it. In the back of my mind, even as I go about my everyday life or work on my own fic, this story continues to nag at me.

It was thought-provoking, I'll give you that, although I can't say what thoughts, exactly, it was intended to provoke. And now I'm probably going to go read it another dozen times and go to bed.

>>91125This story is wrought with coincidences for me. First as I'm reading the end, the song "Rainbow Factory"  starts playing on my playlist, and as I read your comment, those lines were sung.

oh god..... no...... i'm only halfway through i'm already feeling really sad for those failed ponies and i already fell like vomiting on my pc ...... but for some reason my stomach dosen't let me puke on my pc (i'm like "come on tummy puke! puke! puke! it hurts! shit!") ...... i can't even muster the guts to read the other half...... dark readers may like this but i just can't stand it.... but i can't stop reading it...... but great writting man... i've read a lot of super grimdark stories and by far this is the only storie that chills me to the bones and makes me sick.... good job man ( <- thats a compliment)...... i'm soooooo crazy for continuing to read this unt til i really puke...

fuck! this is my second comment and i'm at least still a little "sane"..... but after reading that fic i stabbed my finger with a really sharp needle and drank the blood.... don't even know why i did it.......... all i know is now i'm a bit more insane than before i read this fic.....(lafs sigh-ko-tic-ly.....)

>>93835 your right about the too serious part....

>>91529 Do I smell a Ronnie James Dio reference here? Besides of that, one of my favorite Fics. I wish I could write that good

I found it weird that I wasn't sick of reading this like I was from reading Cupcakes...

But yeah: This is awesome. Really love the ending, especially the fanart of it by DOOM1945.

Wow, I really regret reading this. I'm going to have to try really hard to remove this from my memory now. This was just too much for me, I'm sorry.

>>96342
If this story hurts you that badly please, please for the love of all that matters never ever read any grimdark tagged clopfiction. I thought I hated ponies getting murdered, but I would read 100 stories like this, Cupcakes and Severing to take back the one rapefic I made the horrible mistake of reading.

>>91529 Scootaloo was the "Last in line".

why did scootaloo say you have beautiful eyes at the end i dont get it it would be great if somepony could awnser
otherwise a entertaining fic

>>92288
Too Late. *Clicks Publish Button* Trolface.jpg
Story gets 5,000 readers
"Problem?"

Wow, just...wow! This was one of the coolest grim-dark fics i've ever read! This makes the song 20% cooler! (YUS, I HAVE DONE THE 20% PERCENT MEME!)

Regards,

xXEmolollipopsXx
    

I like your style, very well done in that aspect.. The story is lacking, I felt nothimg when reading this. *shrugs*

I... I just don't know what to say... That was horrifying.

Good thing my brain can adapt to insanity, this hath strengthened my mind

I read this, with the song by Wooden Toaster playing and reading the lyrics as they came up.
It was...Intense...
I feel utterly evil now. Stained. I like it!

Thank you good sir for an amazing look into two characters that I have come to love and appreciate and the possibilities behind it all.

5 stars!

>>91168
CUPCAKES uhg I HATE that fic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!It makes me sick!

>>92932 Well there is an alternate ending within the google doc version of this. It settled some score, sorta.

>>91529 Oh hohoho. I do believe, sir, that you made a funny.

this was the first good fanfiction i ever read. thank you, sir, for introducing me to this wonderful world. you have done the world a favor in writing such beauty. tell you what.  im gonna just leave these here. they're stars. theres five. just promise that you will NEVER speak of this. if the authorities find out... well, we dont want any 'accidents', do we? nah, its best to let the authorities stay around to do their regular business. yes..

>>91910 Exactly! I hate when people call it a horror story. Its just not. It is a sad traumatizing buetifal story. My word for it :bittersweet. Its sad but makes you do the cheesy "awwwww" and smile. Plus the only really actual gory part is Orion dying. It has a real plot and actually had a background. BITTERSWEET. NOT BLOODY.

You know what I find kinda funny in this? Isn't RD's spirit loyalty?

i don't get the ending

That ending!

I still like RD and Scoots both, regardless of this story. Honestly, I thought it was going to be crazy dark, but I actually kinda enjoyed reading it... in a twisted dark sort of way.

Please, don't try to write darker, but keep this.

I'm at a loss for words...

And I thought cupcakes was disturbing...