Hmm... faved.

This to too perfect. I have that picture as my current wallpaper

True story

Win.

All my yes.

The fact that you didn't capitalize all the letters in the title is bugging me a lot.

>>12551321255132 There.

>>12551381255138 Many thanks!

You keep using "their" in place of "they're".

>>12551651255165 Thank you for pointing that out. I sometimes get that single thing mixed up. It's been fixed.

You keep on missing quotation marks, and punctuation before and after them... like commas.

Pretty simple  concept, a nice, relaxing read, can't say I laughed for the comedy tag, but it's good.

The review train has arrived!

1) If Twilight didn't want Fluttershy knowing about the box, why did she bring it up in the first place?

2) I thought you needed more of a transition from Fluttershy's curiosity to her madness. You just kind of jumped there at the end, and a little more buildup would have made it seem less out-of-the-blue.

3) I noticed a few grammar errors, mostly having to do with commas before quotes. For example:

The rainbow maned Pegasus claimed “What? Their just a snack!”

should be

The rainbow-maned Pegasus claimed, “What? They're just a snack!”

While we're on the topic, you need to learn the difference between 'their' and 'they're'. 'Their' is possessive, indicating ownership, and 'they're' is a contraction of 'they are.' And 'claimed' isn't a very good attributive verb in most cases.

Also, there were a few typos. My favorite was 'Ludacris.' That's the name of the rapper, not an actual word. The word you want is 'ludicrous.'

Otherwise, a fun little story based on a pretty good idea. I hope this helps!

The rainbow maned Pegasus claimed “What? Their just a snack!” They're

Just as she creped around the corner, Rainbow saw her and hid the box she was holding behind her back. creeped.  (Creepers gonna creep)

Her hoof rose to her mouth to whip some spit off. wipe

Ludacris snack seriously?

“Their just crackers that Pinkie made!” They're

Their made out of dough! They're

Still a good story.  I was half-expecting Fluttershy to just simply go, "Oh, whats the big deal?" while producing her own box.

And of course I thought of "Cupcakes" as soon as I read that Pinkie had made them.

>>12552171255217>>12552181255218 Okay... the errors are fixed. The thing with their, the're and there has always messed me up. I know the difference but sometimes, I just forget. I apologize for this, and will try to remember to read it while splitting up conjunctions as I reread my work. As for Ludacris... I don't even know where that came from.

YAY you listened to my suggestion

Poor Fluttershy, PFFFFFFT Yeah right!

Will read in a bit; I love Fluttershy~!

>>12553411255341 Eeyup!

>>12553441255344 She's my fave pony.

>>12552771255277

One of the fastest ways to understand the they're their there issue is to work in this order.  Does they are work here?  No, scratch off they're.  Then, is it possessive?  No, scratch off their and you're left with one last result.  There.  If you want, ask yourself at that point, is it a place?

Edit: I made an error myself, I believe creeped should be crept rather.  I haven't had my coffee yet.

These instantly popped into my head:

Image: https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/6/20/NQAda-i_vUG9geDeOkEijg2.jpg

We need a Fluttercry pic for this

>>12552771255277

Good for you! Fix the silly grammar derps BEFORE you go live in the feature box for awhile

Feature box is all about th' "Cute pony reacts to incongruous thing, cutely"

(in as close to the minimum 1000 words as possible)

So that's what animal crackers are...

That was an entertaining read.

All my everything

>>12555061255506Say what??? ... ... Oh celestia! YES!

Hmmmmm......love Flutter's and thought this was bad ass so I'm down.

Is it sad that the last sentence pertained to me? I always bite the heads of the animals off first.

Anyway, great story. Fluttershy will be forever scarred by this incident !

Hmmm. making me hungry for animal crackers.

>>12555641255564

Fix the derps and make your mane presentable.

Have fun up there...

So...

How long before this is featured?

You make my insides smile.

Brohoof to anyone who gets it

>>12556341255634It is featured!

>>12556411255641

Indeed. It wasn't when I started reading, but I posted my comment and reloaded the page, and what do you know.

You people work quick.

That was scary.

Great concept. Pretty in character. I can see this definitely happenIng somehow. However while good the story could use a bit more polish. Still I liked it.

"SOYLENT YELLOW IS ANIMA.... Oh, they arent? My bad..."

Moustache for you!

Here, have some "WHY?!"

This was so cute!

>>12556391255639seriously?cupcakes reference? not sayiniwouldnt do the same but bein twisted is supposed to be my job

anyways this is what this story made me do this

Image: http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120906142304/runescape/images/6/60/EvilLaughEmote.gif

its also my job to put a runescape emote on every story i read so there

Damn you got featured fast, it hasn't even left the new stories list

>1255867 This isn't even my best work. And it ticks me off that the single joke fic I did, not EVEN serious gets featured while I have a whole arsenal of awesome sensual stories that deserve to be up there! But I'm still psyched I got featured!

PERFECT!!!!!!!!!

YET IT HAD SOME ERROR::

STILL GREAT

The friendly snack that smiles back--until you bite their heads off.

Fluttertrauma.

F.D.A.C.  i think i see what you did there...

wonder how Fluttershy would handle Happy Tree Friends

>>12551321255132 I can't shake the feeling that we've met before...

This is a friggin' win.

... Why is it, even though she proved to only be trying to protect Fluttershy, that I can't stop thinking about Twilight as being a troll in this story?

"Did I do good, teacher?"

"You've done wonderfully, my faithful student."

Applejack....

LYING?

>>12561601256160 Remember the Pinkamena episode? It's canon! I'm in the clear.

>>12556391255639 *Brohoof* /)

>>12556221255622 Dear Fluttershy, your neck was replaced by hair, and fell off your body

>>12562111256211 congrats on the feature! here's a little dance for you.

Image: http://gifsoup.com/view/800524/fat-bastard-o.gif

>>12563311256331 Thanks Rainy!

>Fluttershy shook her head yes and said “I just need some time alone.”

You can't shake your head "yes". I think you mean she nodded her head.

>>12553461255346 I agree whole-heartily.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Fluttershy_umad.png

Loved the story... so much.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/yay_red.png

Could definitely use some work, but I can't resist favouriting a story this adorable.

I used to only eat the heads off!

MWA-MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

One glance and I was taken

>>12565831256583 ... No, I shouldn't... but I can't resist! That's what she said!

So adorable!

hahahaha soo hilarious :D

Why did Twilight even say anything in the beginning. That odd smile thing too, OOOHHHHHHHH she is tardy for another friendship report and is trying to make a problem to fix... Oh twilight you rapscallion you

That was surprisingly hilarious. Author, you get 5

>>12568671256867 I'll add those to my collection... (That makes... at lease one thousand.)

In which Fluttershy learns that when every single one of your friends say "Trust me, you don't want to know.", it's usually a good sign that you don't want to know.

Ah! We meet again dear friend. Again Art Inspired, thou always never ceases to amaze us! The title of the story seemed to caught our attention, and we were overjoyed to see that thou hath made it to the feature box! What was even more exciting to see was that it was thou who was wrote the story! This story has been quite interesting and funny. We loved every bit! Although it is quite different from the type of stories we usually read, it was nice to read something like this. We are happy to have made thou, our friend!

Oh and may we ask if thou wishes to brohoof with us? Thou deserves it! /)

--

Princess Luna Approved!

>>12570641257064 I'd brohoof you anytime!

(\

>>12566171256617 I already love your sense of humor, meaning you're going to be an awesome friend!

I swear like Right up till the end I was betting that Fluttershy gets the box then says this: "Oh Animal Crackers I love these things." Then eats like 5 at one go.

I mean really think on the look of everyone's face when they see that.

she's scarred for life

>>12572991257299 But would it be legit? No... no, it wouldn't.

Well maybe. I mean fluttershy loves everything animal related if she were to know that they were just crackers made of dough in rough animal shapes I for sure don't think she would freak out that bad. At least if she has seen them before. BUT in this case being she never knew they existed before it would indeed most likely occur like this.

I have no strong feelings about this one way or the other.

>>12573511257351 There yeh go.

1st slot feature, congrats!

>>12573791257379 Hm...how about Rainbow seeing the Skittles 'Taste the Rainbow' Ads?

>>12574131257413 Yeah. Don't remind me. I'm overly excited, but then I'm like... really? I didn't EVEN try my hardest on this one. Still, I'm happy.

>>12574181257418Rainbow: STOP LICKING ME PINKIE!

I can't believe nobody's asked this yet but...

Image: http://stillsinglebecause.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/funny-brad-pitt-seven-box-scene.jpg?w=540

>>12550691255069

Your idea made it my wallpaper too.

Is animal crackers for them the burger men for us?

>>12558871255887

Hehe!

I like you better knowing you that lil' bit better!

I promptly went and read your mature stuff, and I liked EverFree, and I'm readin' Kinkiemena Diane Pie. It might interest you to know that before this very story cutely shouldered it aside, I was tryin' to get a serious fic with BDSM elements into the featurebox

It'll never happen now, but I wanted you to feel a lil' more understood instead of always feeling guilty and shamed over your writings, which I am liking.

Unless that's the way you want to feel

>>12576591257659 Shame is an emotion I lack. I'm cold blooded all the way. Never forget that the word "regret" is my worst enemy!

>>12576881257688

Now, is that you, or is that Special SomePony?

>>12576921257692 Technically, both. I should be asleep, but instead... yeah.

>>12576951257695

I seeee!

I think we're gonna be friends. Though I'm a lil' tamer, I must admit.

Go to sleep if you should be sleeping. We'll keep the thread warm for you

>>12576991257699G' night. I'll be awaking to notifications littering my account, I'm sure.

Cute lil' story, very funny.  However, the idea that Fluttershy would be that naive is a bit of a trope at this point.  Of course, if it were me, I'd make a sequel where she was eating pony crackers.

Eh... It was alright. Overly predictable and somewhat rushed (perhaps?), both seem to conspire against this piece. All in all, worth reading, but nothing fantastic.  >>12577871257787 Now if you added her eating the pony-crackers as an ending, you would've had me falling out of my chair! However the ending now is just too weak. It doesn't feel like a real conclusion...

6.5/ 10

Short, cute. Nothing to write home about and never really got funny at any point. It delivers the concept and then it's done. The sheer boredom of the comedy aspect makes it almost feel like it was stretched for the 1000 word minimum. The characters act accordingly, but they don't do anything overly entertaining here.

Congrats on the success and good luck with future efforts!

>>12578641257864 Let's just say that if I knew this was going to be featured, I'd put a lot more focus into it. Go read When You Were Young and be amazed at how good I can really write.

>>12558571255857 No, silly, Tobuscus.

its always the simple stories like this that get featured huh?

>>12578931257893 Don't remind me.

>>12578931257893

Sadly, yes. All it takes to is to write a 1000-word joke fic about something stupid, and you get instant feature box 11/10 times.

>>12579041257904 Stupid illogical... ness of it all.

>>12562911256291 touche

Image: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9cdmiNNpk1r700ah.jpg