"Thanks for coming with me, Spike," Twilight said to the baby dragon that sat on her back. After a quick lunch and giving Rollypolly a good polish to ensure his shell stayed nice and shiny, Twilight and Spike had hit the trail and begun to loop around Ponyville. "I have to be honest, I never thought you'd want to go help me question ponies about Scootaloo after... well... Fluttershy."
The purple dragon shuddered. "Please don't mention that name... I was two seconds away from jumping out a window after seeing the clop-mess."
"Well, I'm glad you didn't do something so rash. So what made you decide to come with me?"
Spike leaned back, looking at the clouds. "My new 'baby brother'."
Twilight giggled.
The little dragon huffed, folding his arms across his chest. "So, I thought you had sworn off trying to find out about Scootaloo."
"I swore off letting ponies who have no clue about her tell me stories. I still want to know the truth, and I realized that if I am ever going to get the real story, I need to attack this problem." Under her breath, she muttered, “And I need to find ponies that are actually sane, unlike our rulers.”
"So are we going to do the smart thing and teleport to Manehattan and find out from Scootaloo herself?"
"That's the funny thing," Twilight said, face screwed up in confusion. "I tried to do a location spell so I could pinpoint her...but according to the spell she isn't even in Equestria."
"Then...where is she?" Spike asked.
~Meanwhile, in the Human Dimension~
"What the hell?" defender2222 shouted, staring at his utterly destroyed apartment. He had just returned from screwing with Twilight (WITH, YOU PERVERTS! SCREWING WITH!), only to find most of his DVDs on the floor, all his pillows and blankets used to make a fort, his Transformers sprawled all over and five bags of popcorn shoved in his microwave. "How the heck did you three even get here?!" he shouted at the perpetrators.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders smiled sheepishly, no longer bouncing on his couch. "We saw this glowing portal and decided to go into it and ended up here!" Applebloom said.
Sweetie Belle looked around, utterly excited. "Maybe our cutie marks will be for interdimensional travel!"
The human held his head in his hands. "How the hell did I end up in 'My Little Dashie'?"
"Rainbow Dash is here?!?!" Scootaloo screamed in glee. "Where?" She began to tear the couch apart, looking for her. "Rainbow Dash!"
“I want to try that swirly thing again!” Applebloom exclaimed, rushing into the bathroom.
defender2222 stared at Sweetie Belle, who looked up at him and smiled. “You wanna play with your toy robots?”
“…only if I can be Bumblebee.” The human pointed at the pony. "But if anyone asks, you're a dog!"
"Ruff!"
~MC~MC~MC~
"Ok...so Scotaloo is out of the question...what then?"
Twilight smiled. "We are going to ask the one pony Scootaloo spends the most time with!"
"...her handler?"
"Scootaloo is not a spy," Twilight snapped. "No...Cheerilee, Scootaloo's teacher. She must have all sorts of private documents and government files on Scootaloo. We get a look at those and we will be in like Flint."
"Who?'
"You know, Flint Lock...the local locksmith/chimney builder."
"...ooookkkaayyy." Spike's brow furrowed as he considering a flaw in Twilight's plan. "Do you really think Cheerilee will give up private files?"
"No...but I have a cunning plan."
Spike suddenly wished he had stayed at the library with Rollypolly. "And...what is that?"
Twilight smiled darkly, a crazed look in her eyes. "Oh...we're just going to sit her down, have a cup of tea...and ask for the files." The unicorn began to laugh and Spike swore he heard thunder overhead.
~30 minutes later...~
"Cheerilee, can we please see Scootaloo's private files?" Twilight asked pleasantly, pouring the teacher a cup of tea.
"Well, of course," Cheerilee said with a smile. "Releasing private files to a mare that is not related to any of my students is the least I can do for a casual acquaintance that I don't think I've ever had a one on one conversation with!" Taking a sip of tea, Cheerilee made her way over to her file cabinets, searching for Scootaloo's file.
Spike stared at his best friend. "If you were really going to ask her nicely for the files then why did you laugh like an evil witch?"
"What are you talking about? That is how I always laugh when I invite ponies to have tea."
"...yeah, Nightmare Moon is SO your mother."
Cheerilee returned, happily giving Twilight the file. The unicorn was beaming...until she saw that all the papers were blank. "Uh...I think you gave me the wrong folder..."
"I assure you I didn't," Cheerilee stated, nibbling on a biscotti.
"Then why are the pages blank?"
"Well, no one would believe Scootaloo's real reason for being in Ponyville, so I just stuffed blank pages in the file."
"Her...real reason?" Twilight whimpered, suddenly having a vision of her and Spike on a strange planet, wearing unitards while Rollypolly thrashed about, calling out "Danger, Danger Twilight Sparkle!"
"Yes...you see...Scootaloo isn't from this time."
"Of course she isn't," Twilight grumbled, settling in for yet ANOTHER time travel story.
~15 years in the future...~
Equestria as all knew it was long gone.
In its place was a barren wasteland, pitted and shredded by the savage fury of war. It was not the pegasi or the unicorns or the earth ponies that fought. It wasn't even the griffons or the capricorns or Discord himself. No...the threat the world faced now was from a new race, born because of the hubris of ponykind: Robots.
In the beginning robots had started off small. Equestria had begun to build them to help with minor tasks, like building wagons or grabbing stuffed animals from a glass box at the cost of a dollar. But the robots wanted more and soon rebelled (apparently no pony had heard of Asimov’s 3 Rules of Robotics or seen that Will Smith movie). At first the ponies had believed they could easily fight their enemies...but soon it became apparent that the war that Celestia had proclaimed would only last a few days (she'd made such a decree in Cloudsdale in front of a banner that read MISSION ACCOMPLISHED) would not be won so easily.
Many lives had been lost and the innocence of ponies had been forever torn to shreds. Fillies and colts learned to wield weapons before they could even walk (baby pictures commonly featured a foal's first cannon) and were shoved out onto the front line to win or die.
"Wait...if this takes place in the future...how do you know about it?"
"Reasonable guesses based on evidence I have gathered."
"..."
But the last members of the resistance movement had come up with a daring plan: They would send back in time one filly, their best and fiercest warrior, and one of the terminating robots ("Terminating Robots? Really?"), that had been reprogrammed to fight on their side. They would kill the inventor of the robots’ command program (known as Skynet which stood for Shooting, Killing You, Now Eat Turnips…apparently the designer came up with the acronym first…) and prevent the war from happening…
~Ponyville, 3 years earlier~
A flash of light flared up from behind Sugarcube Corner as the two figures appeared, kneeling down as the effects of the transportation ended.
"Shouldn't they be warped right back after a few moments? And how do you even know about the time travel spell?"
"There is a time travel spell? I assumed they used science!"
“…uh…no…there is no time travel spell and I have obviously never used one…heeheehee…”
"We've arrived," the orange pegasus filly told her robotic companion, looking about the alley. “We’re in the past.”
"SWEETIE BOT AGREES WITH COMMANDER SCOOTALOO!" the terminating robot (in the guise of a white unicorn filly) stated.
“Hey, she's like Rollypolly if he’d gone through puberty!”
"Come on, we need to find the creator and eliminate her as soon as possible!" Scootaloo said, marching into Sugarcube Corner. All the patrons paused, staring at the two little fillies, before turning back to their idle conversation. For Scootaloo, the sight was unnerving; she had been born on the battlefield, been raised with a gun in her hoof and the smell of death forever around her. To see ponies sitting around, calmly eating…it was as strange as unicorn being allowed to raise the only baby dragon in all of Equestria by herself (“HEY!”) "Now then, we need to be on alert. According to historical records the creator of Skynet was a very smart pony. They could be anypony...so we must be on guard."
"So what are you calling your new invention?" Silver Spoon asked her friend as they entered the bakery.
"I am thinking I'll call it Skynet!" Diamond Tiara said with a laugh. “It’s going to be the next best thing since Boxy the Box!”
"...well, that was easier than I thought."
"I want to make sure I have this straight..."
~MC~MC~MC~
Twilight began to tick the points off. "You think one of your students is a robot, the other is a freedom fighter from the future, and the final one is the creator of a new race that slaughters most of ponykind. And they are all fillies.”
Cheerilee took a moment to consider all this before she shook her head. “Well, Sweetie Belle could be really old…she just looks like a filly. Otherwise you got it all correct.”
Spike grinned. "Ok, I take back my super spy theory...this one is so much better!"
Twilight gave her number 1 assistant a dirty look before continuing. "But it doesn't make any sense! If Scootaloo was planning on killing Diamond Tiara...why is she still alive?”
"Ah, well you see, Scootaloo had to wait for just the right moment to do it. Time is normally solid and near impossible to change. It is only when time becomes soft that one can mold it and shape it, forcing time down a new path." When Twilight and Spike looked dumbly at the teacher, she merely shrugged. "Dinky did this whole report-"
"Say no more," Twilight said, looking around as if she expected the little unicorn (who was SO not smarter than her, despite what others might think) to appear. "So...anything else we should know?"
"Of course!" Cheerilee said with a laugh. "Lots, lots more."
~One Year Earlier~
Scootaloo and Sweetie Bot had done well to integrate themselves into the timeline. Scootaloo had managed to convince Bon Bon and Lyra she was their daughter ("Probably told Lyra she was originally a human...") and Sweetie Bot was able to set herself up at Rarity's sister by claiming that her parents had merely forgotten to pick her up from school for the last few years (they were stupid like that). All that time they had watched Diamond Tiara, waiting for the right moment to strike and kill the little witch.
"Holy crap, you're her teacher!"
"Just because I am her teacher doesn't mean I have to like her! I'm sure Princess Celestia hates you plenty at times!"
"She does not!"
~Meanwhile, in Canterlot...~
"Sister, what are you doing?" Luna asked, watching as the sun goddess scribbled some notes on a scroll.
"I am conceiving the perfect structure for an epic that I wish to tell my faithful student in the spirit of jest."
"...you're planning on trolling Twilight, aren't you?"
Celestia stomped her hoof. "You and Cadence and Tydal got to! I want to have fun messing with her head too!” Celestia tapped her chin. “Now then…should I call the competition Scootaloo competes in the Famine Games or the Hunger Games?”
~Meanwhile, back at the plot...~
Finally, the day had arrived. All of Sweetie Bot's sensors had gone off in the middle of the night, proclaiming that this day would be the perfect one to end the threat of Skynet (the sound of said sensors going off had forced Sweetie to claim she had bad gas).
That is how Scootaloo and Sweetie Bot found themselves waiting outside of Diamond Tiara's house with sling shots loaded with bags of angry bees (because guns had yet to be invented…lousy hippies). The moment they saw the rich little snob, they would attack and save all of Equestria.
"STOP!'
Sweetie Bot and Scootaloo stared at the new arrival; she was a yellow earth pony with a big red bow in her hair. She hurried towards them, grabbing their hooves and stopping their attack just as Diamond left her house, happily skipping as she sang a song about how great she was (“Please…don’t sing it.”)
"SWEETIE BOT DEMANDS ANSWER TO QUESTION OF WHY ATTACK ON ENEMY WAS HALTED!"
"You can't kill Diamond Tiara!" the yellow filly stated firmly. "You have no idea the danger-"
"We know the danger!" Scootaloo shouted in frustration. "We come from a timeline where Diamond Tiara created the terminating robots which wiped out Equestria! She must die!"
“YES! IF DIAMOND TIARA IS DEAD SHE CAN NOT CREATE SKYNET AND TERMINATING ROBOTS LIKE SWEETIE BOT WILL NEVER BE MADE-WAIT A MINUTE…”
"And I come from the timeline you create!" the filly told them. "My name is Bloomus Prime. Because of your actions, Diamond Tiara's father Filthy Rich took over the Skynet project and changed it to create robots that resembled his daughter, which he dubbed Tiaracons.”
“SWEETIE BOT IS DEMANDING TO KNOW IF YOU WERE GOING TO KILL SWEETIE BOT VIA PARADOX!”
“From their ranks rose Megarich,” Bloomus Prime said, as if she had never been interrupted, “an evil warlord who sought to enslave all of Equestria’s ponies and use them as slaves to mine Equestria's Harmony reserves. Luckily for ponykind, the great inventor Big Macintosh created me and my kind: the Applebots.”
“YOU WERE! YOU BITCH; I LOVED YOU LIKE A SISTER!”
“We wage our battle to stop the evil forces of the Tiaracons and now I have come back in time to help you prevent both Skynet and the Tiaracons from ever being created!” Bloomus Prime declared. Her body trembled and she transformed into a little red wagon. "Applebots, transform and roll out!"
"This…makes complete sense!"
~MC~MC~MC~
"Thank you Twilight!" Cheerilee said happily. "I'm glad you believe me...most ponies just look at me like I am crazy when I tell them the truth about Scootaloo and her friends."
"We would never think you were mentally deranged!" Twilight said quickly. "And we would never lie and say your story was really good so we could escape before you killed us!"
"Good, because I would kill you if you didn't think that!"
"I know!"
Both of them laughed.
"So...me and Spike need to be fleeing now..." Before Cheerilee could say a word Twilight had grabbed the baby dragon and was running out of the door as fast as she could.
"...she must still be upset that Rainbow Dash found out about her sleeping with Fluttershy."
I give you one of the most requested origins.
I am going to say this to start: I love 'Friendship is Witchcraft'. If they ever let someone guest write an episode, I would throw my hat into the ring in an instant (I have this idea of doing the Discord episodes where Discord is The God of Abridging and all his 'changes' are him turning the characters into bad abridge characters, with bad jokes and cheesy one-liners and cultural references).
Now then...
This is what...the 6th time Twilight had decided to tackle the Scootaloo problem head-on? Has she read this fic?
I have never read My Little Dashie. It seemed ripe for mocking though.
As always, find an error, let me know
HUMOR LEVELS ARE AT ACCEPTABLE EFFICIENCY!
Her plan was so cunning you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel.
I have no idea why I found this line so incredibly funny.
I wonder when Celestia declared this "Let's Troll Twilight Sparkle" week and how is it that Twilight, who has an awareness of what Celestia is doing that borders on the obsessive, isn't aware of it?
The only thing to describe my reaction is . Keep up the good work!
What is wrong with these ponies?
As usual the perfectly sane ponies are having a normal sane day. Twilight (Said in the voice of one of the creepy characters in Charlie the Unicorn) you know your mother is Nightmare Moon. If not genetically then in spirit.
Defender2222, get better insurance before the CMC completely torch your house. They are destruction incarnate.
Twilight, when Celestia comes to troll you, ask her if she likes bananas.
TRANSMORPHERS!
APPLEBOTS WAGE THEIR BATTLE DESTROY THE EVIL FORCES OF
THE TIARACONS!
And, because I'm always looking for an excuse to post this song,
Eh.
Not your best.
I did love the bit with the crusaders in your apartment though.
Also, Sweetie-bot seems to have not realized that if thy were succesful, and she dissapeared, then Scootaloo would go with her, as they are both products of a future that doesn't exist anymore.
I've actually had an idea for a Terminator fanfic where Cameron actually stops John from destroying Skynet because it would erase him from existence and go against her, "Protect John Connor" programming.
*cough* anyway
Also, My Little Dashie is highly overratted, in my opinion, but it seems to be one of those stories you just have to read because it gets referenced everywhere. So far I've been pretty good about that so far. I just need to read Fallout Equestria and figure out where all the "bannana" references come from.
Oh, and I was upset that you told...actually, this chapter doesn't conflict with my theory after all. The Crusaders being in Manehatten actually reinforces it.
So... Equestrian Hunger Games parody next.
OOH! PONIES PLAYING WITH TRANSFORMERS!
CAN I COME?
I'll bring battleship and connect 4. It can be a Hasbro party.
And i wanna be Grimlock!
t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR39HuxSBVfulaCpBHzH-o37NxXXv771nUguK6Hhdaub_kmJzBjsgweBbDoqQ I laughed so hard at this
I'm just glad this didn't have to do with a play....if you know what i mean.
I thing, we agree with her on that one.
Surprised there wasn't Scootaling reference chapter yet.
1336857
There are a couple origins I will NOT do, mainly because the authors doing them are going into so much detail and making such effort that...well...I don't want to mock them. First would be Mothers (Rainbow Dash adopts Scootaloo, who is an orphan), then Life in the Slower Lane, Scootaling and Scootamom
I should have known Cheerilee would have some crazy origin story about Scootaloo as well.
What if you make one where the Creator, Tydal's, Celestia's, and Luna's mom trolls Twilight, Then gets twilight to help her troll her kids.
1336759
Megarich must be stopped. No matter the cost!
1336810
I think that it's from this video. I think I was linked to it from someone else who said that it's where the banana phenomenon came from.
So. Next up is Tia? Or someone else while Tia finishes up her master trolling plan - which will be destroyed by Twi as soon as she realizes that Celestia probably wouldn't allow the Famine/Hunger Games to continue, if only to preserve her image, if not out of caring for her little ponies.
The sheer balls-out insanity keeps going strong. Good jorb.
Scootaloooooooo! Where are you?!
1337116: Scoota-scoota-loo, where are you? We've got some work to do now.
Anyway, this was a fun chapter, making fun of completely improbably crossovers. I doubtless would have found it funnier if I was more familiar with FiW or Terminators, but this still brought a smile to my face. Especially the last line; how can so many ponies get so many relationships wrong so consistently??? Oh, who cares, it's hilarious.
1337116
Scoota-loota-loo!
Sorry, but that's what came to mind. (Scooby-Doo, where are you?)
Also, Defender, do it. Three other people, maybe from the mane six, Twilight as Velma, and Scoots as a less accented Scooby. Hah, RD is Shaggy, and so they fight over who jumps into whose arms. DO IIIT.
This whole thing has become a giant, twisted mess. Awesome.
Ah, ha, ha!
Terminator and Transformers reference! Epic.
This gets weirder and weirder but better.
Weird hypothesis: Scootaloo is a synthetic pony created from magic. Celestia created her as an experiment to see if life can be created from magic.
I dunno why, but synthetic ponies have always been an interest of mine.
At this point Discord is just sitting in his statue and thinking, "I think I'll sit this one out..." Then cracks start fissuring all over the surface, "Dagnabbit. Oh well, better get to work on my Scootaloo story."
gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs4/2332127_o.gif
... What plot? I have been dunk and high to near death and have made more sense than this.
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/276/507/65b.gif
You went from Lost in Space to The Terminator to Transformers to Friendship is Witchcraft to Hunger Games to Uncharted to My Little Dashie to I Robot to The Iraq War.
This makes as much sense as Derpy riding a jetski through a house.
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/27/eMMXXEmXAEKXnTq2OJiOcg2.gif
“Now then…should I call the competition Scootaloo competes in the Famine Games or the Hunger Games?”
The only way this could be better would be if it was 'the Battle Royal or the Hunger Games.'
That was awesome. That is all.
1337109
Here is, at the moment, the plan for the rest of the chapters (yes folks, there is a friggin' endgame!): Snips and Snails, Rarity, Discord, Zecora, Soarin', Rainbow Dash, Princess Celestia, and Scootaloo. I will also be posting the first of the 'Lost Secret Origins of Scootaloo', which serves as a deleted scene from this series (If you want to be a part of 'The Lost Secret Origins of Scootaloo' just contact me)
My only possible reaction to this story in its entirety at the moment is.
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Also, I think Twilight is pretty much
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mat6jzXcFS1r0rff0.gif
Yay. This chapter brings us back to the insanely random theories!.
The bit with the CMC was hilarious.
Sweetiebot freaking out on Scootaloo about the paradox was awesome.
As for the last line, I STILL can't understand if they are implying Twi cheated on Dash with Shy or Shy cheated on Dash with Twi?
Hmm let's find a related pic:
th07.deviantart.net/fs71/200H/i/2012/236/7/f/commission__applebloom_surprise_by_inspectornills-d5cbh5x.jpg
They clopped and made a mess? Why wasn't I informed?
utterly
name should be acronym
she's
1336634
That Discord idea is actually kind of hilarious too.
On another note, RBD Presents is going to do MLD next.
Very funny chapter, but I'm still stuck with the image of a baby Dalek...
1337545 Why choose? Japan, the 14th colony. While we're at it you could have a lion king crossover with Kimba and Simba... Ohh, or the Magnificent 7 meet the Seven Samurai...
wait, could somepony actually write that last one? please?
For Friendship is Witchcraft! For Hunger Games! And For My Little Dashie!
Also, Trollestia is coming. Prepare yourself.
"That is how Scootaloo and Sweetie Bot found themselves waiting outside of Diamond Tiara's house with sling shots loaded with bags of angry bees"
BEES. MY GOD.
This is one of the best fanfics ever!
t.qkme.me/3oqhup.jpg
HHHAAAUUUUZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!! This was bucking funny as hell, I love Sweetie Bot, had me laughing my ass off and Transformers, nice.....ha, how does Apple Bloom not know what a toliet is? Hmmm....I like Famine games more, can we have the horse Famine appear in that chapter as well, maybe in a cameo?
I really wonder what Rainbow Dash has come up with for the origin of her #1 fan. We getting to her anytime soon?
It would be a good idea if at the end of a chapter, you told us the next pony you were planning to give a story about. It's be a nice preview without actually spoiling anything.
1337818
I laid out in a post above the final chapters that will be appearing (lest I change anything). They are: Snips and Snails, Rarity, Discord, Zecora, Soarin', Rainbow Dash, Princess Celestia, and Scootaloo.
Also, several readers and I are working on how to post their own origin story ideas (whether to do a spin off anthology or have them post their chapters with the same starting title The Lost Origins)
1337178
Rarity = Daphne, Applejack = Fred.
1338116
I've tossed around the idea of doing a loose Terminator adaptation for months, but I never really had any ideas past the premise. I guess you beat me to the punch, and added Transformers into the mix too.
Now do one where she's Sam from Quantum Leap! Or a Star Trek one! Ooh! Ooh! She could be an android like Data that served onboard the Starship Enterprise, but her memory was erased by Borg/Romulans/Klingons/Cardassians/some one-off species and now she thinks she's a pony and she'll never get her Cutie Mark because she's an alien android!
Is the Hunger Games chapter going to actually happen? I REALLY want to read that...
Also, if the CMC are in your apartment, can you send me one? I would be quite happy with Applebloom.
it's official everypony's insane.
SWEETIE BOT CANNOT PROCESS YOUR NONSENSICAL DESCRIPTION OF SWEETIE BOT.
EXPERIENCING META-ERROR ALPHA-THETA-FIVE.
NOW ACTIVATING CUTENESS-CAMOUFLAGE.
I am now Flutterbot.
1336718 This really does explain so very much, doesn't it?
And I rather enjoy the scene where the CMC visit the author in his house. Who wouldn't love having those three little darlings visit for a day? And just think how popular your home with the neighborhood kids because "Look! Magic talking horseys!"
Astavalista baby
Auto bots transform and roll out
U must really like transformers this is the second time you mentioned them
RollyPolly agrees
1337459 P-P-P-P-Power
Make Twi listen to a scootaloo story from Tera Strong.... Oh the LuLz
And so it begins...