(Rainbow) Dash 8-40CW
Rainbow Dash Turns into a Dash 8-40CW
Admiral Biscuit
Once upon a time, Twilight Sparkle had lived in a tree.1 Then Tirek had magic-lasered her tree, and a new Crystal CastleTM sprouted from the ground nearby.2 Said Crystal Castle, unlike her tree, often had internal changes—Twilight never knew if all the rooms would be in the same place when she woke up in the morning. Some of that was surely a result of the tree castle growing and maturing, some of that was surely a result of several powerful unicorns and Trixie living in the castle—Trixie was couch-surfing, she said, but there weren’t any couches in the castle, and Trixe could most often be found in Starlight Glimmer’s room. Where there also weren’t any couches.
Some of it was just plot convenience.
Regardless of whether or not some of her roommates were best friends or ‘best friends’,3 Twilight was long-accustomed to sometimes finding new rooms, or the laundry suddenly being two floors up. That latter change wasn’t inconvenient, since she didn’t normally wear clothes.
The main parts of the castle did stay the same from episode to episode day to day. Especially the room with the marvelous magical map—that room stayed more the same than the other rooms.
Until it didn’t.
Twilight wasn’t always the most observant mare in the morning, especially before she’d had her morning glass of black water. But even an unobservant mare couldn’t have failed to observe, running directly through the center of the corridor, a set of tracks.
There are many kinds of tracks: there are the ones that animals leave in soft ground, there are the ones on a CD,4 there are the ones that intravenous drug users leave behind—Twilight knew all these definitions and more. They were none of those kinds of tracks, they were instead railroad tracks, placed on wooden crossties, in the standard 4’8½” (6 liters) gauge.
Twilight also knew that tracks are generally left by somepony. Of course, that was the kind of knowledge that was sort of fuzzy and dubious, since she did live in a tree Crystal Castle that occasionally rearranged itself.
Still, it had never grown tracks before.
There were three options open to her. The first was to summon her friends, since everypony knew that the best way to solve a problem was to delegate it to whomever the cutie mark map selected.
Option two was follow the tracks wherever they went. That might provide some answers as to the cause—for example, did they run to the train station? Was her Crystal Castle turning itself into a new stop for the CAMP & WEtPRRR.5 While that would be convenient when it came to getting places, having daily trains run past her bedroom wasn’t ideal.
Option three was pick from Option A or B after she’d had her morning coffee, and that was the option she took.
She looked both ways before crossing the tracks, like a good pony.
•••
Coffee in hand hoof horngrasp, Twilight contemplated two great mysteries of pony life.6 Foremost was, of course, the fact that there were railroad tracks running through one of the major hallways in the castle; second was the fact that of all the coffee makers the castle could have grown, it had provided a Kureg. Besides the obvious problem of it only brewing one cup of coffee at a time and the other obvious problem that a container of Papa John’s Garlic Butter also fit in the pod holder, there was the fact that it ran on electricity, which the Crystal Castle didn’t have.7 Fortunately, Twilight was a very talented pony, and could apply a nominal 120vAC 60Hz to the prongs of the power cord.
She followed the tracks deeper into the castle. She could have gone either direction, but everypony knows that ‘where did you go’ is a more important question to answer than ‘where did you come from?’8
Unsurprisingly, the tracks wound up in the Magic Map Room—most everything did.9
That was really convenient for summoning the other girls, and Twilight did so, activating the row of buttons under the edge of the table which would light up their cutie marks. Nopony but her knew those buttons were there; they just assumed it was some sort of cutie mark magic.
Then she kicked back in her throne and drank coffee and waited for her friends to arrive.
•••
Normally, Rainbow would be the first to arrive, and today was no exception. However, instead of coming bursting in through the window like a heathen, she actually arrived through the Castle Map Room Double DoorsTM like a normal pony.
Except that she burst through them like a heathen.
Also except that she was a locomotive now. A General Electric Dash 8-40CW.
The doors were strong—certainly stronger than the oft-replaced window—but not nearly strong enough to stop 400,000 pounds (12km) of locomotive.
Nor was Rainbow’s mini-throne large enough to seat her new bulk. Where she had once been pony-sized11, now she was seventy feet long, fifteen feet tall, and ten feet wide.
She also carried 4,000 gallons of fuel, and that’s probably enough locomotive facts for the moment.
Instead of her usual greeting, she let out a blast from her Nathan K5LA air horn12 which was deafening in an enclosed location. It also broke the window that Rainbow the pegasus usually broke.
Rainbow Dash 8-40CW idled up to her chair, crushed it under her wheels, and stopped just shy of the cutie mark map, and the two ponies—well, one alicorn and one Erie-built locomotive—waited for the rest of their friends to arrive.
Twilight sipped the rest of her bean juice; Rainbow idled quietly.13
•••
It didn’t take all that long for the rest of the girls to arrive. Even Starlight Glimmer showed up, since she was gunning for Twilight’s seat once Twilight got promoted to Princess of Equestria and Friendship and Freaking Out and moved on to the bigger, glitterier, Canterlot Castle.2
Trixie wasn’t there; she was taking a shower.14 Also she wasn’t part of the clique.
Six ponies and one locomotive sat around the table, four of them (and the locomotive) waiting to find out why Twilight The Magic Map had summoned them. Fluttershy was gnawing on a summer sausage.14 She’d been up all night caring for a sick marmot and hadn’t had time to eat breakfast.
Applejack was the first to speak. “So.”
It was a sensible question, from a sensible pony, and Rainbow Dash rang her bell in affirmation.
“Why’d you call us here, Twiggles?” Pinkie asked.
“...” Fluttershy’s normally demure reserved voice was even more muffled due to the nine inches of Texan sausage stuffed in her mouth.14
“Does anypony notice anything . . . different than normal?”
Five pairs of eyes and several sealed-beam headlights looked around the room, attempting to spot anything that might be out of place.
“Window’s broken, that’s normal.”
“Is it the door?” Pinkie pointed to the pile of flinders that had once been the door. “That’s not normally broken.”
“Oh, for Faust’s sake, Rainbow Dash is a locomotive.”
Fluttershy shrugged and swallowed her sausage. “Always has been.”
“Always—what?”
“She’s always been a locomotive.”
“No, she hasn’t.”
“Has, too.”15
Twilight held her head in her hooves, lest it either explode or just float off like a balloon, far and wee. Then she took several deep breaths to calm herself, and also a shot of Herr Vodka, and then since nopony was paying attention, brought the whole bottle to her lips and drained it dry because it was that kind of day.
“Rainbow Dash has not always been a locomotive,” she said. Of course, since she’d just downed enough vodka to kill a horse, it came out like “Runbw Dsssssh hAs not alwa beh locmatrain.”
Then she passed out on the table.
Rainbow’s windshield wipers went back and forth.
“Now look what you’ve done,” Starlight muttered. “Gone and made her cry. It’s okay, Rainbow, we’re all your friends.”
“HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK.”
“Oh, I know darling.” Rarity tapped Rainbow’s fuel tank reassuringly. “But Twilight simply is not a morning pony, and I’m sure she’ll apologize when she wakes back up.”
“I don’t think she’ll wake up.” Starlight lifted a hoof up from Twilight’s slumped-over form. “I think she’s dead.”
“Dead?”
“Dammit, Jackie, I’m a doctor, not—wait, no. I’m not a doctor. I’m a unicorn. Why was I trying to take her pulse with my hoof? Who does that?” She lit her horn and checked Twilight’s vitals the usual way. “Eh, she’s fine.”
“Well, that’s a relief.”
“Easy for you to say.” Pinkie shoved a stack of condolence cards and funeral invitations back in her mane. “So, does anypony know why we’re here? Nothing’s lit up on the map.”
“I ain’t waiting for Twilight to come to; I got corn to buck.”
“Um, don’t you mean apples?”
“Nah, the apples ain’t ripe yet, but the corn is.”
Starlight furrowed her brow. “You buck corn? By which I assume you mean you kick the ears off the plant?”
Applejack nodded.
“Isn’t there an easier way to do it? Like, I don’t know, buy a corn binder and harvest it with that?”
“I ain’t getting no fancy highfalutin machines for my farm. My ma bucked the corn and her ma before her, and what’s good enough for them is good enough for me.”
“HONK HOOOOOONK ding ding HOOONK.”
“Well, thank you, Rainbow, that would be much appreciated. We only got tracks laid along the south field, but if you think you got it in you.”
“ding.”
“Alright, ladies.” Applejack grabbed Rainbow’s handrails and pulled herself up the ladder. “If’n Twilight comes to and needs us again, we’ll be out at the farm.”
“Do remember to stop by the boutique this afternoon, darling; I have a tarp that’s just your size.”
“Catch you later, girls, gotta bounce!” Pinkie pronked away and that was the end of the story.
•••
But that wasn’t the end of the story. There was, in fact, a friendship mission which had gone unheeded in all the confusion of Rainbow Dash (8-40CW) suddenly being a locomotive or always having been a locomotive, and it was a mission that only the Mane 616 could handle as a team.
The mission was, of course, harvest the corn and get it to market.
You laugh . . . you know you laughed. I heard you laugh. The very fate of Equestria hung in the balance . . . okay, it didn’t really. But in order to maximize profits, Applejack needed to harvest the corn and get the corn to market while the price per bushel (meter) was high, that’s simple economics, and what better way to do it than with friends?
Applejack bucked corn, accurately landing each ear in a gravity wagon that Big Mac towed along behind him.
Rainbow Dash 8-40 CW also bucked corn, smashing through the stalks and flinging the corn up like yellow hail. Starlight and Rarity caught the flying corn and used their magic to lob it back into a hopper car that Rainbow was towing—Rainbow lacked in precision, but made up for it with 4,100 horsepower of enthusiasm.17
Fluttershy got animals out of the way, and Pinkie Pie was Pinkie Pie.
•••
High atop her crystal palace, a hungover Twilight Sparkle gazed out over the wreckage fairly normal-looking vista of Ponyville. Ponies were out and about, doing pony things. Off in the distance, a Rainbow Dash-colored locomotive was blasting through the cornfields, and off in the distance in the other direction some eldritch abomination deep in the Everfree was awakening from its slumber, preparing to wreak havoc;18 it was a perfectly normal day.
Rainbow Dash was a locomotive.
Always had been.
For a minute, Twilight was lost in contemplation. Things she thought she knew weren’t true. For example, she had always thought that Rainbow Dash was a pegasus. Or that she was in charge of her group of friends, but no, Starlight Glimmer was out there, and that could only mean one thing.
She was the guest in the castle. She wasn’t princess of the palace, Starlight was. And in that case, distasteful and demeaning and demoralizing as it was . . .
•••
There were no couches in Starlight Glimmer’s room, only kites. Even the bedsheets were kite-patterned. That pony sure does love kites!
Twilight slipped between the sheets and laid her head back on the pillow.19 Boy, it had been a strange day. And now she was playing second-fiddle to some lavender upstart, and now she was demoted to Starlight’s kite-themed bedroom.20
And—
“The great and powerful Trixie humbly requests that you remove your cold hooves from her great and powerful barrel.”
—now she was stuck with a second-rate marefriend.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Admiral Biscuit · 3.8k words · 107 0 · 1.2k views
- Admiral Biscuit · 3k words · 139 3 · 1.4k views
- Mythic Night · 6.2k words · 154 7 · 3k views
- Admiral Biscuit · 1000 words · 81 5 · 1.4k views
- Admiral Biscuit · 1.1k words · 244 9 · 3.1k views
- TikiBat · 1.8k words · 22 2 · 317 views
- PseudoFiction · 6.4k words · 29 0 · 980 views
- paperhearts · 1.9k words · 65 5 · 888 views
Stats
Page generated in 0.128 seconds
Total duration
1,030 users online
1,403,378 hits today, 2,660,641 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
derpicdn.net/img/view/2017/10/16/1562534.png
Source
Do we really need story notes for this one? It’s got footnotes, train facts, memes, one song reference, and a 4100hp GE Dash 8-40CW.
I suppose if there’s enough demand, I’ll come up with something.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2020/5/1/2336674.png
Source
What the hell did I just read?
"Hey... Hey Twilight..."
"Dash... I swear to the Maker..."
"Look... I'm full of stallions..."
"Oh Celestia..."
"They wanna ride me..."
"..."
Ah yes, I haven't seen a "Rainbow Dash turns into X" story in a while
Talking pendants. What will people think of next?
Couldn’t have said it better myself.
that 13 annotation ruined my comment. I hope you're happy.
This is actually not the first story about Rainbow turning into an inanimate object that was posted today.
10375329
... seriously? I'm not sure if that makes this better or worse.
The sad part is, I don't know if Glimglam foud the right string to pull, or if Twilight's tenuous grasp on reality has finally just snapped.
...
...
Oooookay. Way to derail my train of thought before the story was a quarter over.
I'm smiling after reading this, yes. But it's a very unsure smile.
...what?
You know, when I said bizarre, this was not what I was expecting.
10375386
It's called "a quality horseapple post". The trick is to be mind bendingly rediculous but we'll written enough to keep you engaged.
I predict featurebox soon for this one.
Does this mean she now lives at Horseshoe Curve?
I'm not too sure. I imagine that the casual observer would have difficulty telling them apart on the grounds they look so similar.
Dash 8-40CW
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/20/CR_6114_1993%2C_Altoona%2C_Pennsylvania.jpg
SD70Ace
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/43/CSX_Loco_No.4761.jpg/1280px-CSX_Loco_No.4761.jpg
6 litres? Did you, perchance, mean metres? If that was the case, 4ft 8 1/2 works out to 1.4351 metres. 6 metre gauge would have a whopping 19.685 feet between the rails!
I... what?
I honestly thought that "6 liters" was an obscure unit of measurement until I saw "12 km". I should know better than to trust you by now
...How? Perform surgery on oneself to bridge two veins every hit
Kind of surprised that a conversation could still be held after those horn blasts. Those things are loud.
But now she has a marefriend and that makes her best pony.
10375432
There was also this, which also makes no sense:
I'm pretty sure the good Admiral is fucking with us. (Just look at the rest of the story!)
10375261
One one hoof, I would like an explanation for... that. *gestures at the entire story*
On the other, I'm not sure I actually want to know.
I did enjoy it though, it was amusing in an absurd sort of way.
10375570
Especially given this loco has a tractive effort of 108,600lbf.
I'm disappointed at no references to confusion and delay. You have made the fat controller very sad..... LOL
I haven’t done the conversion myself, but I suspect your metric units might be off. I’m sure it’s 1.4 bushels to the meter. But don’t take my word, I can never remember how many gallons there are in a kilowatt.
Someone needs to lay off the mind-altering substances. Or share...
Did you do DMT while playing Garry’s Mod again, Admiral?
Biscuit, dear friend, kind sir...I ask this with all kindness in my heart and concern for your well being:
What in God's name have you been smoking, and where can I get some?
"Wasn't your maternal grandmother a Pear? Did they even grow corn while in Ponyville?"
"That ain't no nevermind."
Which was both more and less helpful than you'd think.
This was definitely a thing. I especially liked the metric conversions. Now we just need a heartwarming slice of life between Rainbow Dash 8-40CW and Fluttersherman.
If you're not on drugs, you probably should be. (And that's without reading the story itself)
*pats Twilight gently on the head.*
At least she is consistent enough to rule out she had been replaced by a changeling.
She even skipped the ice cream?
Good story!
I enjoyed reading it.
10375432
10375570
10375582
But what if we have a leap year?
Then the entire math is wrong!
This reminds me of 2012 me. 👍
10375735
Eh?
As I was reading this I was thinking, "oh God, this is going to end with them all dying of carbon monoxide poisoning isn't it?" Glad to see I was wrong.
Comment on footnote 3:
Or "cousins"
I'm glad I read these in the morning. Then my brain can't process what I'm reading enough.
10375705
...and now I’m picturing a scene from Goldeneye. Yellow tank, blue train...
Eh, there are worse ships.
Let's see... I've read Twilight as a fire truck, Applejack as a pickup, Fluttershy as a Sherman tank, Princess Celestia as an Ohio-class submarine, and now Rainbow Dash as a Dash 8 locomotive. The list continues.
There. I can't say anything more to this. Except Wat. Yes. Wat?
10375790
Next up, Princess Luna as a Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird.
Either that, or a space shuttle. Either works.
10375421
As soon as I read the title I knew I'd find you here XD
10375304
Fun locomotive facts!
10375305
4100 of them, in fact! That’s a lot of stallions.
railpictures.net/showimage.php?id=313596&key=2447926
10375309
I thought that was an old, dead meme, and then it turns out that someone else published a “RD turns into X” story not that long before mine.
10375972
But, honestly, a Dash 8? Why not a WP FP-7 or a GP20 High Nose?
10375310
You know what I mean, Captain Nitpick
Spelling error fixed, and seriously I do love that you’re the one that caught that particular one.
10375314
That’s legit a book review quote.
HONK HOOOOONNNNNNNK HONK HONK ting ting-aling HOOOONK.*
*Perfectly sarcastic parody; I thoroughly enjoyed!
Don't worry, I got this.
images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/2908cd95-ef02-41e7-a303-eeeb79bd81af/de2y441-bd6509ea-3b5e-4887-bd52-a0bfb838f1a9.jpg/v1/fill/w_1280,h_960,q_75,strp/dscf2134_by_alwaysdressesinstyle_de2y441-fullview.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOiIsImlzcyI6InVybjphcHA6Iiwib2JqIjpbW3siaGVpZ2h0IjoiPD05NjAiLCJwYXRoIjoiXC9mXC8yOTA4Y2Q5NS1lZjAyLTQxZTctYTMwMy1lZWViNzliZDgxYWZcL2RlMnk0NDEtYmQ2NTA5ZWEtM2I1ZS00ODg3LWJkNTItYTBiZmI4MzhmMWE5LmpwZyIsIndpZHRoIjoiPD0xMjgwIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmltYWdlLm9wZXJhdGlvbnMiXX0.BLld54vzuLiMxAMqpGfDBQHmjgVaTclpEkaz6VLb86A
Pendants should be the inanimate objects they are, not have rude opinions.
10375319
I take it you, too, have been near an idling locomotive?
10375329
I am in equal parts shocked and horrified. And amused.
10375344
Certainly could be a little bit of both. Glimmy is a smart pony, and she’s pretty good under pressure, maybe moreso than Twilight.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2019/9/10/2140502.gif