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Any good chef will tell you that ketchup is a horrible condiment that ponies regularly use to ruin good food and hide bad flavor. Prince Baked Bean has finally had enough after watching his pregnant wife scarf down a dozen oatburgers drenched in the stuff to satisfy her cravings, and he's decided to attempt the impossible; turning ketchup into something worthy of royalty!
A what-if fic set in the Prince Beanverse!
Featured on 12/28/18 - 12/30/18! Thanks everyone!
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What is this heresy?!
I wholeheartedly approve of it!
ketchup delendo est!
Does that make Bean... The Condiment King?
Falls over laughing* i know its not cannon, and its not 'exactly' how i would picture bean ascending, yeah it would be food related but i would have gone with like him actualy discovering how to make 'literal' ambrosia.
then again i've tasted home made gormet ketchup before, when its well made let me tell you that shit may as well be ambrosia
the real problem with condements is that you need to really understand what goes with what.
like bean said it should be about complimenting, not drowning.
Hill still deserved it more than Flurry Heart did.
This is very amusing and entertaining. I approve.
Why is there a s*x tag?
9372774 Because it has f****ng ketchup in it.
(I'm sorry. I really am. It just jumped out, and I had to say it.)
9372774
I figured I'd just play it safe, what with the pegasus mating display.
9372813 Bean's just going to have to add Mood Wings by Tchernobog to his list then.
9372813
I absolutely love your story, also Irrespective knows about the story and I think they find it funny.
9/;10, adorable AF.
i.imgur.com/daChedn.jpg
9372799
XD
9372813
Oh, boiiiiii....and thanks for telling me :)
9373047
Lol
There are actually dozen of condiments of same template, tomatoes, sugar , salt, jalapeno and vinegar. Proportions and seasoning is what does matter.
Heh, so cook from nearby diner should be an alicorn... the place makes own condiment for shashlyk
*Reads title*
*stranger things theme starts playing*
Hilarious, adorable, and fully in-character. Very well done! (The story, not the burgers. Never the burgers.)
Bean may not be the royal his wife is, but with his ascension, he will truly have a chance to...
catch up...
9374345
That was bad, and you should feel bad.
I always have honey and ketchup on my pancakes!
The only thing I like more is bologna and whipped cream... and we haven't got any.
9374456
...Get out. 😝
Never had ketchup. The smell put me off as a child and it has not been any more pleasing to my nostrils since.
Snobby, upper-class spoiled chefs: "Ketchup ruins everything! You can't even appreciate the hint of flavor I put into this dish!"
Everyone else: "You mean the .00005 grams of some obscure spice with a flavor so mellow you'd have trouble tasting it even if your mouth was full of it?"
Snobs: "Oui!"
Everyone else: "....You do realize you put garlic into things, right?"
Snobs: "Ah do not understand."
"No, I doubt MASSIVE FLAMING HYPOCRITES would understand jack."
Seriously, ketchup snobbery is possibly the biggest sign of a spoiled middle or upper class twit.
9376196
Well, I doubt most fancy chefs cook 3-hoof Zesty Gourmand-approved food. Still, Baked Bean originally mentioned his disdain for ketchup in "This Nose Knows," and I'm sure his issue with ketchup is due to the fact that he is capable of sniffing out ingredients and seasonings better than most ponies.
9372799
Well, ketchup is the rapist condiment: completely overpowers everything it can get its ooze into.
...yeah, improving it is a big deal.
9374348
At least he didn't try to stretch for a "catsup" pun? I mean, leaving aside animal cruelty issues, can you imagine how much pain everypony in the vicinity would soon be feeling if Opalescence were somehow sent flying through the air?
This is beautiful. I love it. I laughed so hard multiple times.
Imagine if Irrespective's story led up to this.
I put ketchup on my ketchup.
Correcting Classic Condiment Causes Corination.
Baked Bean Brings Bold Benefits to Bland Blend of Bleaknes.
This was an awesome ride. One I wish was canon XD (I mean, I kinda want alicorn bean lol) But it was fun all the same!
And Twilight, you made one spell that was already partially completed, drawing on everything you learned. Essentially, you improved a spell.
Bean took a condiment, partially completed, and drawing on his years of experience in culinary magics (AKA cooking), he improved it. He's not that much different XD
"Next thing, we'll be having super-powered baby alicorns if this keeps up!"
"TWILY!! Cadance just gave birth to a Super Alicorniyan foal!"
"OH FIND ME IN THE ALPS!!"
Ah, and now to order a delicious McDonalds plain hamburger with mixed ketchup and mustard. I need to make sure to get extra old wilted pickle slices and those little reconstituted onions!
(takes a HUGE bite, dribbling the yellow and red mess all over his face... right in front of Bean.)
So this is the reason Sunset Shimmer was repalleted (is that even a word?). Her ketchup tint changed to match the new recipe!
9374345
Yes, Prince Been deserves plenty of condiments!
You evil being. You keep teasing about Luna's daughter
Floofs menacingly!
scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/70825813_2539824096109304_4462247488971079680_n.jpg?_nc_cat=104&_nc_oc=AQnZeA6rU3iI08cWnhstPU2On6sXs4NOD4ERmzQC-s4aUmyrnzurcTfiz03OH1RC9x0&_nc_ht=scontent-lga3-1.xx&oh=b45c06f2b90865971542fcfcdf37c4df&oe=5E326DCF
Ketchup isn't as bad as 'normal' tomato sauce. At least Ketchup has some (if little) flavor to it that isn't just tomatoes. I prefer Tonkatsu sauce, then a good barbecue sauce and the right blended mustard is also nice, all in moderation.
Hehe, that's one way to up your approval rating!
Uh... hum...
People still think that ketchup is a condiment? It's a food in of itself, with whatever you put it on being there to hold it in place and accent its flavor.