Two bodies, intertwined.
That’s my first impression of the murder scene.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 2nd Nov, 2012
- offline last seen 52 minutes ago
Admiral Biscuit
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Admiral Biscuit
Joined 2nd Nov, 2012 ·
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A very intriguing little piece! You fit a lot of mystery into something so fun sized.
A story with much potential that seems to have been stillborn... I suspect a limitation has shortened this dramatically from the usual Admiral SoL writing format... I mean, who else can turn a few hours of a pony’s day into a multi chapter story that you cannot put down?
The first line and the title already had me sad... the two combined painted a heart rending image to start with. Hat off to those who attend those scenes for a living. You sense a hint of jadedness in our narrator’s voice but you also since that he is driven to both solve and understand the case by whatever made him take on the job in the first place.
A lot from such a short little story... almost a sampler of what it could have been...
9832381
You are correct about the limitation; the contest this was entered in required an exact 1000 word word count.
9832388
somewhat oddly, that is, as I usually like reading Author's Notes (particularly yours and Georg's) ... it may have been that my mind was still stuck on the initial imagery...
Sorry, missed that in the Author's note at the end...
9832403
I just added in the part about it being a contest fic, 'cause I forgot when I published ... all that was there before was the link to the blog post.
My reason for reading fiction, fantasy, SF, Westerns, etc. is entertainment and to escape reality for a while. Why? Sometimes reality is just too grim or boring or not satisfactory at the moment. One thing usually good about stories is there is a beginning, middle, and an end. You find out that the butler did it and he shakes his fist and says "I'd have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those meddling kids" as he's led away by a grim faced trooper. You know why he did what he did. The mystery was solved. This is a satisfying end. Real life gives you a dead body or a missing person and the initial investigators never see a conclusion to the investigation that they started. Like that missing woman found in the car in a lake from 1997. The family has finally gotten closure, but how many relatives went to the grave never knowing? What's the real story about the assassination of JFK? This story is like real life in a way. I may never know and I'm left hanging. I don't dislike this story, but I don't like it either. That's not saying it's a "bad" story, it just doesn't fit me. And that's okay. Not all stories can, nor should they. I don't regret reading it because sometimes a little mystery is just the way it is.
It all fits nice and neat into those thousand words.
Not something I saw coming... Still, a good story.
It certainly dereves extra credit for being exactly 1000 words. I tried this challenge and, so far, failed miserably: I either drop the concept or end up with a lot more text than required. I hope to figure it out someday.
I didn't think it was possible to fit a mystery of any quality into a thousand words. Thanks for proving me wrong.
9832480
Heck, that’s usually why I write.
One of my favorite stories by King is The Colorado Kid, and it doesn’t have a ‘proper’ ending . . . there’s a mystery, and the reader never gets the answer. Parts of it, sure, but not the whole thing wrapped up in a neat package like most mystery stories. Such is life, I suppose . . . but you’re right, it doesn’t have to be that way in a story, and I can’t blame you for not liking it. I will thank you for reading it.
Sometimes that’s all we get, isn’t it?
9833352
Thank you!
9834671
Thanks!
The key is finding the right story. This really isn’t the right story; it leaves a lot unanswered that a story ought to answer, but it was what I was inspired by at the time of posting.
The easiest way to do 1k words exactly is a low-consequence SoL fic, IMHO. Or some scenery porn, that’s another thing that with practice you can hit right on the dot, at least for a short (like 1k) challenge.
I usually also have trouble with running over, even in stories with higher word counts . . . one that isn’t on this site (but which won a contest, yay!) had a hard 12k cap, and I was at 11,200ish and had to toss in a really ugly “six months later.” Another entrant had 11,999, and I’m sure that as he edited he was checking every sentence to see what words he might not actually need.
I think that it can be beneficial to try and write a complete story in few words--Piers Anthony has a collection of 50 word shorts--but one of the advantages of writing and publishing online is that we aren’t held to the constraints of an actual printed copy.
9835930
I’d like to flesh it out more one day, cover a lot of the stuff I couldn’t because of the word count limit . . . it was overly ambitious, but I suppose it worked well enough for its limitations.
Very thrilling tale but kinda short. I get that each paragraph if meant to be fastpaced scene change of a csi story but I do wish there was more descriptions of what was happening and the main character interacting with more of his colleagues
9842468
The reason for the brevity was that for the contest, it had to be exactly 1,000 words. This really wasn’t the right kind of story to try and tell with only a thousand words to explore it in, but it was all I could think of with the prompt.
There’s a slim possibility that having it on my story list will eventually motivate me to use more words and turn it into what it should be, because you’re right, better descriptions of what’s going on and the detective’s interactions are really brief.
In a city that knows how to keep its secrets.
One pony still is looking for life's persistent questions.
9875430
Gotta admit, even for a detective story, having an Equestrian judge sentence somepony to death was a bit unexpected.
9973405
Well, he did kill two people, the second to cover for the murder of the first. . .