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  • T “Princest Is Wincest,” It Said.

    Luna reread the graffiti, but it came no closer to making sense. “Princest Is Wincest,” it said. It was confusing enough to be offensive; did nopony spell correctly anymore? Perhaps Tia would be able to explain it.
    4,713 words · 9,352 views  ·  1,219  ·  20
  • E An Annual Occurrence

    Equestria’s calendar is bloated with holidays and celebrations of all shapes and sizes. Celestia's favorite, however, is always Nightmare Night. There are few things better than surplus candy. Luna will understand that, won't she?
    1,137 words · 3,895 views  ·  261  ·  4
  • T If You Came to Conquer

    Nightmare Moon won. She defeated Celestia, broke the Elements, banished the sun. This all happened a very long time ago. So long ago, that she has had plenty of time to change her mind. Not that fixing it will be simple.
    5,959 words · 3,493 views  ·  389  ·  8
  • T I Am Not the Actor

    After one of Pinkie's clones wins the paint-watching test, she slowly finds that "being yourself" is never as simple as it sounds. Especially when everypony has a different idea about who you are, and who you should be.
    23,773 words · 7,139 views  ·  530  ·  23
  • E Pictures of Lily

    After purchasing a pin-up calender, Fluttershy learns that crushes don't always turn out quite the way you pictured.
    3,641 words · 3,175 views  ·  219  ·  8
  • E A Geometric Shape in Equestria

    A few days ago, a strange, rotating block appeared in Ponyville town square. Twilight hasn't been able to tear herself away from it… "Crossover" with Tetris and Super Hexagon.
    1,433 words · 557 views  ·  71  ·  1
  • T The Unexpected Sexual Harassment of Twilight Sparkle

    Twilight Sparkle arrives in Ponyville to prepare for the Summer Sun Celebration, and potentially the return of Nightmare Moon. All that stands in her way is five stallions who keep flirting with her. Making passes. Hitting on. You get the idea.
    16,544 words · 9,195 views  ·  841  ·  59
  • T My Little OPony: Twilight Is Magic

    Twilight Sparkle, prized student of Princess Celestia, has always been very good at magic. Too good. This is the story of how she solves every problem all by herself, because she is the best.
    5,100 words · 1,970 views  ·  158  ·  9

Blog Posts41

  • Wednesday
    Speculation and Worldbuilding: Magical Pony Sports

    A major part of worldbuilding is sports and games. Taking something familiar and changing it slightly has multiple uses. It creates verisimilitude by showing that your fictional world still has and plays games. It creates a slight disconnect from the audience, because they can recognize that the mechanics are similar, yet not identical (a smaller version of the Uncanny Valley, if you will). It also gives you a chance to showcase the fantastical elements of your setting and tie them into everyday life.

    Lots of fictional works use this tactic; creating a unique amalgamation of preexisting parts in order to worldbuild. The Legend of Korra has Pro-bending. Harry Potter has Quidditch. IGPX has…IGPX.

    And yet, ponies don't. They certainly have variants on real sports; archery and relay races and the like. But they don't have anything that could only exist in Equestria.

    As (yet another) mental exercise, I thought I'd try and invent such a sport. *The following is a fleshing-out of a post originally on the TVTropes forums.*

    The first and most important part is team composition. It needs to be a sport that requires 3 (perhaps 6) members per team, one of each pony type. It needs to give each type advantages and weaknesses so that they need to play together. If pegasi are mobile, earth ponies are sturdy, and unicorns have reach, what sort of sport gives each of those specialties equal importance?

    Roller derby comes to mind. The basics of the game are that you have a circular track, and each team has a designated scorer. If one team's scorer laps the other one, they score a point. The other members can help their team or impede the other. It requires blocking, mobility, and reach, just the qualities we are looking for.

    The first problem, however, is that since it relies on speed it gives pegasi too much importance. We need some way to limit the speed of the participants then. The obvious answer lies in limiting the pegasi ability to fly. If they can only do jumps of a certain height, and must return to the ground after doing another, it gives them a mobility advantage without giving them a speed advantage.

    The second problem is that since unicorns' main advantage is reach, they need some way to increase their utility without being too dangerous to the other ponies. Changing the scorer position to a relay stick or somesuch would solve this problem, and also allow the team to change their scorer on the fly the same way that you can in actual roller derby.

    Thirdly, since earth ponies have super strength, blocking them and tackling them is unfairly difficult to the other pony types. We need some way to hinder/weaken the earth ponies without being too dangerous. The obvious answer is track obstacles. Maybe sliding barricades (unicorns can move them and pegasi can jump over them); earth ponies would either need to crash through them (they flip down with enough force, preventing injury and resetting for later laps) or maneuver around them. Either option leaves them vulnerable, due to the sudden shock or sudden turn.

    So we have the basics of a sport. Two teams of three run around a track, and one of them (the scorer) carries a sort of relay marker. If the scorer passes the other team's scorer, that's a point. Pegasi have a mobility advantage by being able to use their wings in short bursts, limited by time spent in air. Unicorns have a reach advantage, being able to move and swap the relay stick more easily than other players, limited by either time and/or distance. Earth ponies have an advantage in tackling and scrums, limited by their reduced options for dealing with track obstacles.

    The rest is simply a matter of embellishment. How complicated is the track? Does it have inverted sections, vertical loops or overbanked turns thanks to gravity spells? Does it have single-use spells scattered around the track (ala Mario Kart)? How are they positioned (in midair, behind barricades, off the edges), and how do those positions favor different pony types?

    Another thing is team composition. Every team needs to have the same basic setup (one starter and one relief of each type, excluding under-funded teams). Depending on how many rounds there are and how often play resets, that is a lot of potential combinations. Assuming each pony has a fairly unique special skill thanks to their cutie mark, the potential for team strategy and complementary compositions is huge. You might have a team focused on defense and blocking, who uses their pegasi member to jump over the other team to score. You might have a team focused on offense that uses their pegasus and unicorn to soften the other team for large tackles from the earth pony. You might gimmicks like a unicorn throwing one of the other members or a pegasi launching the scorer.

    So there you have it. An attempt to create a fictional sport that takes advantage of and showcases the unique elements of ponies and Equestrian culture. As always, comments, criticism, and counter-arguments are always welcome.

    Part Five in a series of blog posts about meandering mental exercises. Check out the others if you missed them!

    One; Why do so many Pony works use Human weapons?

    Two; Earth Pony Spearfighting

    Three; Pegasus Combat and Weapons

    Four; What Do the Main Six Drink?

    2 comments · 29 views
  • Sunday
    Elements of Excess Canceled

    I debated it for a long time, but I think it is finally time to admit that I am never going to finish this story. I could give you some fancy excuse or meandering reason, but I'll spare you that. The simple fact is that when I sat down to write the next chapter, despite having the plotline in my head, nothing happened. I tried to write and nothing came out. I like to think of myself as a professional with standards, which is why I was so afraid to cancel it for so long.

    This is the first thing I wrote that was actually popular, so I figured its cancelation warranted some sort of notice. I'm not done writing pony prose, but I simply don't have the drive to finish this story. This story is a mess and my own lack of skill is very apparent reading it so long after I wrote it. A lot of the themes and ideas in it also repeat in my other stories. I'm flattered that so many people enjoyed it despite its flaws, however, and I hope that the other things I have written and will continue to write will also entertain people.

    I considered posting all my notes and outlines, but most of them were lost when my previous computer got a virus. For what it's worth, I put a rough outline of the rest of the story in a Gdoc over here. I considered uploading it as a chapter, but I did not want to mislead anyone with an update notification. After reading Peachy Keen's advice below, it is now a chapter entry, as well.

    I know how disappointing it is when a story one likes stops updating. I've gotten that feeling myself (once from Princess Sparkle's School for Eccentric Unicorns and again from the Ask Dirty Diamond Tiara tumblr). Feel free to vent in the comments, though be aware that I'm committed to the decision.

    12 comments · 512 views
  • 4w, 2d
    The Similarities Between Fan Fiction and Professional FIction

    It is often remarked on how different fan fiction is from original fiction. There is definitely truth to these remarks; the amateur nature of fan fiction and the baggage of using an existing setting creates many differences.

    Over time, however, I’ve noticed some similarities. One could say that some of these are reaching, or that they happen rarely, and that is not unreasonable. I thought it might be an interesting mental exercise regardless.

    The “It'll be done when it's done” Attitude: This is not universal, obviously, but many different artists have a habit of delaying their projects for extended periods of time. Naming them all would take forever, but a partial list can be found here. Valve Software and George R.R. Martin are probably two of the most infamous examples in modern pop culture.

    I personally don’t consider this a bad thing, to a degree. Creativity is not a faucet—it can’t be turned on and off at will. There are hundreds of examples of video games that were rushed out the door and tanked as a result.

    The main difference here, of course, is that fan fiction has no professional obligations. Taking its time is expected with fanfic. Admittedly, with things like Patreon that line is starting to get fuzzier, but the majority of fanfic authors don’t use that.

    Popularity snowballs and A-listers vs. Mid-listers: To become more popular, one needs to be popular. For every popular author, there is another less popular author (or, as devas pointed out in the comments, five less popular authors). This gap between the most known authors and creators shows up in both amateur and professional settings. Stephen King is almost a household name, Charles Stross less so, and Ken Liu even less than that. For every Descendant there is an ocalhoun behind them and a cleverpun below that.

    The obvious difference here is the scale. If a youtube user only has 5,000 followers, or a book only sells 5,000 copies, then it is not that popular. Meanwhile a FIMfic story with that many story views has done well, and if it has that many upvotes it is in a group of only a few dozen fics.

    This gap between different entertainers is a combination of many factors, but I would say that most of them apply to both fanfic and original fiction. Amount of output, timing and cultural relevance, subject matter, and ease of digestion all affect how popular someone is, and all those and more apply equally to all mediums.

    Relationships Between Fans and Creators: There was a time when this was exclusively the purview of fanfiction. In modern times, however, authors and creators have increasingly become friendly personalities. Cons, email, and blogging have all made communication between individuals easier, and artists are no longer on this lofty pedestal above their fans.

    The difference here, naturally, is the distance. With fanfic, a direct line to the author is right there on the story page, either in the form of a comment window or a PM button. With other media, you often have to dig up the author’s email or the company’s website before you can actually talk to them.

    This also goes in the opposite direction. Reclusive artists can be found in both fan fiction communities and professional settings. It is perhaps a bit harder to be reclusive on the internet, but hardly impossible. The fanfic author who answers no comments is a sort of parallel to the original fiction author who answers no email and goes to no cons.

    So there you are, three ways in which fan fiction and original fiction are not so different. Interesting to note, though, is that all these reasons relate to the presentation of the work. They focus on how the work is received and the interactions of creators with their audience. I considered a few reasons related to content (like how sex sells or shallow entertainment gets a bigger audience), but those seemed like more subjective issues. Perhaps in another post.

    As always, comments and counter-analysis welcome.

    5 comments · 82 views
  • 7w, 5d
    FIM and Wish Fulfillment

    It's no secret that Friendship is Magic has a preponderance of wish fulfillment, both in fanfiction and in art.

    This is nothing new. All fiction attracts escapism by its very nature. Yet FIM as a fandom seems to have a lot more of it. You could argue the law of averages here—more fans and more internet exposure may make the problem seem more severe than it really is.

    I don't think it is that simple. In this blog post I'll examine three factors that might explain this, at least partially. As with all my opinion posts, however, this is mostly speculation.

    Cutie Marks—This is a big one. Cutie marks mean that no pony ever has to worry about unemployment, "finding themselves", or living with their parents until they turn thirty because of the housing crash. Every character in the setting is good at something by default. This is an incredibly alluring prospect, and there are countless fics and ask blogs which are sort of "occupation porn"; They focus solely on ponies with cool jobs doing those jobs. Wouldn't being a firefighter or police officer without having to sit through years of training be pretty cool?

    I don't want to make any assumptions about the fandom as a whole, so I'll only reference myself when I say that finding a career is hard. I sort of lucked into choosing one and I still haven't completed all the training necessary to do it yet. The idea of a society where every person has a purpose, and yet avoids the dystopic overtones of having your path chosen for you (a la Brave New World et al.) is a very enticing prospect, and lots of wish fulfillment stories use it.

    Humanity is absent—This is nothing new. Science Fiction has been using the Humans Are Special routine for as long as the genre has existed.

    Ponies, however, gives this a different context. Humans don't exist in the setting by default. This means that if a human ends up there, then they are special and important by virtue of their existence. If a human/author stand-in appeared in the Legend of Korra universe or the Harry Potter universe, so what? If anything, they would be at a massive disadvantage without all them sweet powers and magic and whatnot. If an author avatar popped into Mass Effect, it wouldn't be worth noting. All the aliens there are quite familiar with humans (and several of them actively hate our guts). When a human appears in Equestria though, it is not the same. It is (within the logic of the story and real life), a justifiably big event. They are unique despite being normal, interesting despite being bland.

    The setting is malleable—I've said before that fanfiction authors do not attempt to perfectly emulate the universe. Fanfiction universes that tend to become popular are ones that leave a lot of details open for authors to use and speculate on.

    Equestria fits this criteria perfectly. It has an uneven technology level (trains and quills alongside more modern "electrical" devices like projectors and arcade cabinets). It has magic. It has thousands of years of backstory that the show has not bothered to expand on. It has other types of magic. It has classical mythology creatures alongside original creations. It even has its own High School AU. It's a mishmash of dozens of parts and slapping on a new one doesn't raise an eyebrow.

    This means that any element that appeals to an author can be included without much fuss. Does Luna own an Xbox 360? Sure, why not. Were humans there all along? Sure, why not. Do ponies know how to play Dungeons and Dragons? Sure, why not. Video games and tabletop RPGs are the main culprit here, but it can apply to anything. The universe has rules, but it is so poorly defined that space can be made for anything without contradicting the setting. And since wish fulfillment relies on appealing to the author, this becomes very easy for facilitating otherwise counter-intuitive things.

    Are these factors the only ones? Of course not. I left out quite a few things because other people have already made their own analyses of them (including, but not limited to; Spike, OC Stand-Ins, high female population, friendship, and low setting lethality). But these three are integral parts of the setting that, in many ways, foster wish fulfillment.

    If anyone wants to link to posts covering those or other topics, please do; I could not find them despite googling. And, as always, comments discussing what I missed, what you agree with, or what I could phrased better are always welcome.

    11 comments · 172 views
  • 7w, 5d
    Alternate TUSH versions now available on FIMfic

    By popular demand (complaint, whatever), the alternate gender versions of The Unexpected Sexual Harassment of Twilight Sparkle now have their own FIMfic entries. I suppose I could have uploaded them in the original entry, but that would have been a confusing mess.

    You may find their entries linked on the original story or below.

    All-mare version: FIMfic

    All-stallion version: FIMfic

    Stallion Twilight/mare main five version: FIMfic

    If you want to favorite them go ahead, but if you want to be notified of the (hypothetical) sequel, then you would be better off keeping the original favorited as well.

    So, there ya go. Let it never be said that I don't do tedious digital housekeeping for my fans. :rainbowkiss:

    0 comments · 114 views
  • ...


Discord was defeated. Villains always are. It’s really quite cliché.

Before he lost, he asked himself a question: what if your virtues went out of control, rather than your flaws? Perhaps if the heroes and villains weren't so clear-cut, the conclusion wouldn't be so inevitable. If nothing else, there would be some fun chaos along the way!

Can the main six find a way to undo Discord's magic, in spite of themselves and each other?

Disclaimer; I have been working on this for a while, and the writing at the beginning is not as good as the writing later. Hopefully it is not too great of an impediment to the story.

Editing by Meta Four, ocalhoun, Kuroi Tsubasa Tenshi, Sessalisk, Sereg, and JapaneseTeeth, all of whom are amazing. Go shower them with admiration!

Featured on Equestria Daily!

Alternate cover by sstwins! Unfortunately I couldn't use it since it compresses badly on fimfic, but still worth a look!

Google Docs version (contains unpublished/scrapped chapters and early drafts--if you're only interested in the finished product you can safely ignore this link)

First Published
16th Sep 2012
Last Modified
25th Nov 2014

EDIT: "Ch 0: Chaos" has been cut for not adding enough to the story and for being boring.

Versions of it are still available in the google doc for the curious

SO far so good, Im liking this already. I read the prologue entirely in "his" voice. :)

Looking forward to the rest.

Nice plot, and did Discord use his powers to bestow common sense? Seems legit.

I do Like this ^_^

tracking just to know what will you do with Pinkie.:pinkiecrazy:

Hmm... I gotta say, this looks quite interesting. Definitely gonna keep track of this!:pinkiehappy:

let me get this..So discord "amplified" her elements? in a chaotic way ,huh


Great concept.

Great fic, but shouldn't this have an "alternate universe" tag?


Pinkie isn't until a few chapters in, look up "mania" if you're impatient though :pinkiecrazy::pinkiehappy::pinkiesad2:


Not really, it's a hypothetical that takes place sometime after season 2. I guess Ch. 0 takes place in season 2 episode 2, but it's not deviating from the the show in any, just filling a gap.

This is really interesting, can't wait to see where you take it!

Ohhhh dear...

...watching this. :yay:

Hmm... you had me at Discord, lets see what 'presents' he left behind. Funny I am doing the same thing in a story I am working on. It just makes too much sense that Discord would know he was going to lose and leave some bits behind before he as zapped.

Ha, this is awesome. Manic Twi, Brutally honest Jack, and now clingy Dash. Can't wait to see what is next!

I can't think of words to describe this, so I will give you my reactions:










It's looking good so far. Loved how brutally honest Applejack was. Keep up the good work!


That is all I will say about that chapter.

I can't wait for the others.

So tell me, why do you release a fic BEFORE the editor is done? Or to make it more WTF, before he has recieved the fic?


'cause my last editor wasn't punctual, and because I like attention?

Iwas sad when Project Saturation was canceled, but now I got this to read. Its all okay. :twilightsmile:


Never heard of it 'till you mentioned it, but thanks! :pinkiehappy:

Hooray for update. Love me some Clingy Dash. Just glue yourself to AJ and you will be all set.

“Easy there, Clingy. Bad enough I agreed to hold your sweaty hand through half of Ponyville.”

“Yeah, no kidding!” Dash draped her arm over AJ’s shoulders as she agreed.

I believe that should be 'hoof' and 'foreleg', respectively.


Thanks for the note. Arm is a totally legitimate synonym for foreleg, I'm told, but the "hand" is a definite derp on my part- fixed

Spike, you're gonna have to fix this...

Clingy Dash is even better here than she was in the first draft.

Clingy Dash. New headcannon get.

(Mistake made on purpose)

Their all quite, quite mad. Hooray!

Poor little animals :fluttercry:

"Too much of a good thing."

That saying applies perfectly to this fic.  I wonder how long before Spike finally writes to Celestia.  Probably after he sees all of the Mane 6 afflictions.


They're mostly fine, though their breath smells horrible. :pinkiesick:


I was going to reference a letter at the end of this chapter but I didn't want to bog it down - it shows up in the next one.

Oh, this cannot end well. Rarity...

Watch, Rarity will end up giving every single thing she owns to random ponies that she doesn't even know.

Looks like Fluttershy hasn't changed at all. :trollestia:

This story is amazing! You did a great job keeping the Mane 6 (or really mane 4) in character, even if their personalities are magnified! :yay::ajsmug::rainbowlaugh::twilightsmile:

Whoah. Your name is cleverpun, and mine is somethingclever. It's like we both couldn't think of anything clever, so we put something referencing that as our usernames, which in turn made the inability to think of something clever into something clever.

Oh god, Pinkie! Jesus, that's going to be horrible. I mean, Rarity's going to be one ball of wax, but an overdose of happiness, combined with Pinkie's natural predisposition towards physics-breaking...

My god, they're all going to die.

Great to see that you got this up on EQD.  Looking forward to future chapters. :pinkiecrazy:

Gratz on the EQD spot, dude. You've earned it.

Applejack! Applejack! Big Macintosh got caught stealing Twilight's Smartypants doll! He needs your advice!


Oh dear... Discord would be proud... :facehoof:

Rainbow Dash is now AJ's bitch, whether she wants one or not. xD

I think Applejack is confusing "Honesty" with "Bitch", also loyal RD is best RD.

“Well, that’s an unsettlin’ sentiment—almost as unsettlin’ as the way Dash is caressin’ my coat!” and that line is the reason I'm cleaning canada dry from my monitor and keyboard :rainbowlaugh:

huh. I while back, I had this exact same Idea.


nah, it's cool. you've done this a lot better then I ever would.

I read the first four chapters.  It's just so amazing to see four of the six main ponies have their personalities magnified to ludicrous levels, just as their personalities went the opposite directions in Return of Harmony.  Twilight becomes more obsessed with studying; Applejack is the pony-equivalent of Simon Cowell and Gordon Ramsay: Brutally honest, almost to a fault; Rainbow is as much clingy to her friends as a gamer is to Call of Duty or World of Warcraft; and Fluttershy is putting too much of herself behind her friends' well-beings.  And, in the next two chapters, Pinkie Pie will probably laugh herself and others around her to death (hopefully, not literally, though), while Rarity would give everything in her shop to charity, even the stuff she might need to make a living, like dresses to make and sell, or food on the plate!

And Celestia watches from Canterlot, munching popcorn... :trollestia:

>>1829272 But the description says this is Discord's fault. Though that might still hold true (in a Narcissistic way).

  This is a great story so far, flanderizing their elements to the extreme. I'm worried how this affects Pinkie and Rarity. >>1830728's guess sounds accurate.

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