Ch. 4
Kindness
Fluttershy was not having a good night. It had started normally enough. She had brushed her teeth, made sure that all of her animals were fed and safe despite her prolonged absence, gotten in bed, and quickly fallen asleep. She was exhausted after all the things she and her friends had done, and the late hour only amplified that fatigue. Otherwise it was a run-of-the-mill bedtime routine.
Then one of her gerbils woke her up with his coughing. This wasn’t a big deal; it happened a lot. She went to check on the poor critter, refilled his water dish, and was all ready to get back into bed. As she was about to slide under her covers, however, something seemed off.
What if it wasn’t just a cough? She thought to herself. It seemed like just a dry throat, but what if it was the first stages of a cold? Or bronchitis? Or lung cancer!?
It wouldn't take that long to double-check, would it? She would never be able to forgive herself if something happened to one of her furry friends and she had been able to prevent it. So she dug up her thermometers, mirrors, gloves, and other veterinary equipment, and asked Mr. Gerbil to hold still while she inspected his throat and chest.
Twenty minutes later, she confidently declared him to have a clean bill of health, and sent him back off to bed. She turned to go back to sleep herself, but a thought occurred to her: what if that wasn't the only pet she needed to check? And it wasn’t just diseases; there might be a loose nail, or an uncorked bottle of something, or any number of other things lurking in her home that she had forgotten about. She didn’t want any of her friends getting hurt because of her negligence; she would never be able to forgive herself. She owed it to herself, and to them, to be thorough.
So she began to check for other things that might be amiss. Her house, her animals, her yard, she inspected it all, oblivious to the time or effort it took, dawn creeping ever closer as she worked…
After countless hours of dusting, sweeping, health checks, and light carpentry, she was finally certain that her house was in perfect condition. She sat down to breakfast; after a light snack she’d be free to catch up on the sleep she had missed. Throughout her entire meal, however, she could feel herself searching for more things that were awry. She had gone over her own house top to bottom, and rather than feeling content, calm, or at ease, she just felt restless, agitated, and uncomfortable. She knew she had checked every part of her house thoroughly. Why didn’t she feel better?
Somewhere in the middle of all of these reflections, a thought slipped through her mind.
If my house had this many problems, then what about everypony else’s?
It was a silly notion, of course. Her friends were perfectly capable of taking care of themselves. Weren’t they? What if they missed something? What if they dismissed some minor detail, and it got them injured later? She owed it to them to inspect everything. They were her friends, after all. Was that why she felt uneasy, because of concern for her friends?
She didn't remember exactly how she had wound up in Twilight's basement, sorting piles of old books, attacking everything she saw with a duster, and taping foam onto every sharp corner. Twilight hadn’t objected when she had walked in, or really reacted to her presence at all. It was a little odd, but that just meant she could help Twilight without anypony getting in her way. Yes, it made perfect sense. Twilight could study, and Fluttershy could fix everything for her. Everywhere she looked there were plenty of things wrong in the library. The dust was an allergen, the furniture’s corners could puncture a lung, all of those heavy books were just waiting to fall on somepony and injure them. The list only got longer the more she looked, but she owed it to Twilight to be thorough. She would never be able to forgive herself if she missed something.
The mistakes were so much easier to spot than in her own home as well. It seemed like she was done in no time at all. When she emerged from the basement, however, Twilight wasn’t alone.
“Alright, Twilight, I finally finished organizing everything! Oh, uhm, hi, Rainbow, Applejack, Spike.”
“Fluttershy? What in tarnation are YOU doin’ here?”
“Oh, uh, I just… I ran out of things to do at my house, so I thought I’d stop by.”
Her answers to their questions were disjointed. She couldn’t focus on her words. Her friends were just so distracting. Both of the ponies were fairly dusty and sweaty, for starters. Rainbow Dash’s mane looked unkempt. AJ’s hat was in need of a good cleaning. Spike had seven different scales that needed to be scrubbed. She didn’t want to offend them, but they really needed her help by the looks of it.
Twilight tossed away the book she had just finished. The loud THUNK it made snapped Fluttershy out of her reverie.
“Oh, here, let me get that for you.” The book was heavy, but it was also a tripping hazard. Couldn’t very well leave it there. She dragged the book over to a shelf and wedged it into place, then used her duster to make sure no dust mites were tempted by it, or that it wouldn’t slip out of somepony’s hooves when they went to pick it off the shelf, or…
“Hey Fluttershy, can I have a hug?” Rainbow asked eagerly.
“Oh, of course!” Fluttershy carefully set aside her duster and then drifted over to her friend. While they embraced each other, Fluttershy took the opportunity to check Rainbow’s mane and coat for lice, ticks, fleas, and dirt. She found a fair bit of the latter.
“Rainbow, when was the last time you washed your mane?”
“Uhm, this morning?”
“You didn’t do a very good job. But don’t worry, I have just the thing in my bag!”
“Oh no you don’t,” Applejack interrupted, “we still haven’t gotten to the bottom of why you’re here.”
“Oh, uhm, I told you. I ran out of things to do at my house.”
“‘Ran out of things to do?’ All them critters at your house are needy fleabags! How’d you manage ta run out of chores?”
“Yeah, how’d you run out of chores with all those needy fleabags?” Rainbow parroted.
“Oh, well, I couldn’t sleep last night, so I ended up getting a lot of things done.”
“You haven’t slept?”
“Oh, of course not. How could I, after I realized how many animals and ponies needed my help? How many things I needed to check? How many safety hazards and problems there were in—”
“Slow down there, crazy. If ya haven’t slept yet, why’re ya so peppy? And why’re ya still cleanin’ things ‘stead of gettin’ some rest?”
“Oh, Twilight cast a spell on me!”
“And that didn’ strike ya as dangerous?”
“Of course not, she knows what she’s doing. You know, AJ, I’m noticing a lot of dirt on your hat, I could clean that for you…”
“Get offa me, ya neurotic nanny! I can handle maself!”
“Yeah, AJ can handle herself!” Rainbow chimed in.
“And as for you…” Applejack ignored Rainbow’s comment and turned back to the still-floating, still-reading Twilight.
They started arguing about something, but Fluttershy quickly tuned out of the conversation. She still had to wash Rainbow’s mane, inspect Spike’s scales, clean Applejack’s hat…
“You can’t just throw magic at every problem! Don’tcha remember what happened the last time you tried that? The entire town wound up chasing some doll, and Celestia had ta come down here to stop the mess you caused!”
“Twilight Sparkle the Omnipotent doesn’t need to take advice from someone like you, Applejack! And you’re hardly one to give advice about knowing your limits anyway!” Twilight actually bothered to look up from her book.
“Oh, you’re ‘om-ni-puh-tent’ now, are ya? If you’re so gosh darn omniputent then you should be able to see this won’t end well!”
“Yeah, I agree with AJ!” Rainbow added helpfully.
“Would you two get offa me? I’m tryin’ to be honest with this arrogant unicorn!” Applejack shooed away the two pegasi.
Fluttershy was clearly eyeing AJ’s hat. “Oh, but Applejack, it’s just such a germ hazard. If you’d just let me—”
Twilight snapped her books shut, all three of them, and the noise quickly caught everypony’s attention. She hovered up the stairs toward her room, pausing at the top.
“Spike, I’ll continue my studies in my room. Please show Applejack out. And tell her that if she’s ready to apologize for underestimating me after she’s done checking on Pinkie Pie, then I’ll be waiting for her.” She floated the rest of the way into her study and slammed the door shut telekinetically.
“Pompous egghead,” Applejack muttered to herself.
“What did she mean about Pinkie Pie?” Rainbow asked.
As if in answer to the question, there was a loud, rumbling explosion and an unmistakable flash of pink light. Fluttershy yelped at the noise, ducking behind Spike despite the three blotches of scale-rot visible on his back, and Dash zipped over to cling to Applejack.
“The hay was that?”
Applejack unceremoniously dropped Dash, and turned to look out the window.
“I hate ta say it, but I think that was Pinkie Pie.”
“Oh no!” Fluttershy quickly picked herself off the floor. “We should go check on her right away! There’s no telling what sort of dangers are lurking around that kitchen! She could’ve been burnt, or cut, or overdosed on sugar, or—”
“I don’t think you can overdose on sugar, Fluttershy.”
“Oh don’t say that, Rainbow! I’ve heard of ponies overdosing on all sorts of things. That’s why I threw all my toothpaste out last night.”
“Well, that would explain your terrible breath…” Applejack mused.
“It shouldn’t smell that bad, I got an organic pepper and swamp water solution from Zecora and scrubbed my teeth with that…”
“That doesn’t sound like a bad idea,” Rainbow said.
“Yes it does! That’s a horrible idea!”
“Yeah, AJ’s right, that’s a horrible idea!”
“Oh, don’t be silly, you two. I used it on all my animals, and they didn’t mind it. Besides, Zecora assured me that you can’t overdose on it at all, which is much more important than how it smells.”
Applejack rolled her eyes and turned to Spike. “Sugarcube, I know you were worried about Twilight an’ all, but ah think she may not be the only pony who needs some help at the moment.”
Their all quite, quite mad. Hooray!
Poor little animals
"Too much of a good thing."
That saying applies perfectly to this fic. I wonder how long before Spike finally writes to Celestia. Probably after he sees all of the Mane 6 afflictions.
1535732
They're mostly fine, though their breath smells horrible.
1536206
I was going to reference a letter at the end of this chapter but I didn't want to bog it down - it shows up in the next one.
Oh, this cannot end well. Rarity...
Looks like Fluttershy hasn't changed at all.
This story is amazing! You did a great job keeping the Mane 6 (or really mane 4) in character, even if their personalities are magnified!
Oh god, Pinkie! Jesus, that's going to be horrible. I mean, Rarity's going to be one ball of wax, but an overdose of happiness, combined with Pinkie's natural predisposition towards physics-breaking...
My god, they're all going to die.
Great to see that you got this up on EQD. Looking forward to future chapters.
Gratz on the EQD spot, dude. You've earned it.
Oh dear... Discord would be proud...
I think Applejack is confusing "Honesty" with "Bitch", also loyal RD is best RD.
I read the first four chapters. It's just so amazing to see four of the six main ponies have their personalities magnified to ludicrous levels, just as their personalities went the opposite directions in Return of Harmony. Twilight becomes more obsessed with studying; Applejack is the pony-equivalent of Simon Cowell and Gordon Ramsay: Brutally honest, almost to a fault; Rainbow is as much clingy to her friends as a gamer is to Call of Duty or World of Warcraft; and Fluttershy is putting too much of herself behind her friends' well-beings. And, in the next two chapters, Pinkie Pie will probably laugh herself and others around her to death (hopefully, not literally, though), while Rarity would give everything in her shop to charity, even the stuff she might need to make a living, like dresses to make and sell, or food on the plate!
And Celestia watches from Canterlot, munching popcorn...
1829272 But the description says this is Discord's fault. Though that might still hold true (in a Narcissistic way).
This is a great story so far, flanderizing their elements to the extreme. I'm worried how this affects Pinkie and Rarity. 1830728's guess sounds accurate.
1830779 Trollestia has struck again!
And wonderful story. Rather than finding ways to overpower (like NMM) or reverse (like Discord 1st time), he's actually increasing their personalities.
And Clingdash is best Dash.
1830728
Applejack Ramsay may be the funniest image I've had in my head all day.
"This apple fritter is mushy and tasteless! This kitchen is disgusting! You're the worst chef I've ever met!"
1848787
Heard of it, never read it. Glad you enjoyed it, though
First comparisons to Project Saturation, now Pony POV series, what will be next?
I really like what you've got going here. Especially what you did with Twilight and Rainbow. I think those two have had all the best lines so far.
1889578
Spike didn't find himself, though. AJ is the only new character at the time he says that.
1889775
Dash clings to AJ exclusively for chapters 3 and 4 cuz it's funny. Just because she doesn't offer Spike a hug doesn't mean they aren't friends.
1889798
That's not Spike talking, that's Rainbow Dash. The previous paragraph described her actions and the paragraph with that line in it describes her thoughts. It wouldn't make any sense at all for Spike to have said that. So Dash just clung to AJ and completely ignored Spike.
As for funny, well ... there's already tons of AppleDash shipping (and friendshipping) everywhere, which makes this kind of commonplace. And Spike's a short, squishy guy, so picturing him getting snatched up and mercilessly huggled, with his stern expressions and wry comments, creates a far more hilarious image in my own head than what any of the ponies could possibly achieve. That's just my opinion, though, you do what works for you as long as you keep making this story awesome.
1910851
Derp you're right. That feeling when you forget details of the story you wrote...
Spike not having much impact and Rainbow Dash overfocusing on AJ are both problems my editors have pointed out. Hopefully chapters 6 and 7 will address said concerns.
1915401
It's vegetarian bacon, which is totally a thing.
(Patiently waits for next chapter)
“I don’t think you can overdose on sugar, Fluttershy.”
Yes you can. And it's a very deadly result.
“Yes it does! That’s a horrible idea!”
Zecora wouldn't give her something that was a horrible idea to give her. The zebra takes her alchemy seriously.
And if AJ is being honest to the absolute extreme, wouldn't that mean she's being honest about how much she cares about her friends and knowing her limits and SEEING that RD emotionally needs her right now?
And if RD is being absolutely and flawlessly and unbreakably loyal, why would she dishonor AJ's obvious wishes?
1973261
You can overdose on literally anything, as Futtershy points out sentences later. I was trying to mix things up and have her overreact to true information instead of overreacting to imagined problems.
1973277
Applejack isn't questioning Zecora's competence, she's questioning if it's a good idea to put pepper and swamp water in your mouth and expect it to be as effective as toothpaste.
As for AJ and Dash not following their Elements to the absolute letter, I think the premise demands a little leeway in that regard. You could say that their Elements were really just the inspiration for curses, or that the negative version of a positive trait eventually becomes very different in practice. You might even say that Dash's Loyalty is manifesting as loyalty to her self and her own needs over others (which is why she is letting her autophobia dictate her actions). And perhaps Applejack's Honesty is manifesting as a distaste for Rainbow's behavior: mebbe AJ had a bad experience at camp with one of her female friends once? Maybe she secretly has feelings for Dash that the amplification is bringing to the forefront and making her uncomfortable? Perhaps Dash acting so far out of the ordinary is triggering some Uncanny Valley stuff?
Who is to say? I think good fiction should leave some questions that the audience must answer for themselves. The mechanics of their Elements being amplified is covered somewhat in later chapters, but not in great detail.
Gah...I can't help but imagine all of them in Green inside-out Top Hats...
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So Fluttershy has come down with a serious case of Cinderella syndrome. Hmm…