You meet all kinds of ponies delivering the mail. Some are nice, some are angry that their package is two days late, soggy, yet inexplicably on fire. Then there are those that you meet, and you just know that they’re going to change your life forever.
Dearest Heart, a.k.a. Muffin (to her friends), a.k.a. Derpy Hooves (to slightly less good but still good friends) just delivered a package to everyone’s favorite Draconequus, and nothing will ever be the same again.
Inspired by a conversation with Technitrose! Thanks to them and Steel Resolve ,Nova Quill/Firimil, and TheGreatEater for their edits and suggestions.
Wonderful cover art by TheDoggyGal.
Chapters (3)
Will Equestria survive? Who knows!
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I'm not sure what it says about me that this could be the tagline for almost all my stories, but it says something...
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The secondary tagline would be, "It wishes it wouldn't."
So, Discord is Cell?
YES Amethyst! Bring it on! It will be GLORIOUS!
Dimensionally gifted Best Pony? Discordant shenanigans? Advanced space-time manipulation? Dinner muffins?
I feel like this story was specifically targeted towards me. This is by no means a complaint.
This is going to be SO MUCH FUN.
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They'd likely get along famously, until one tried to eat the other and then found himself turned inside out with a lot of surprised people suddenly undrunk popping out.
This is going to be really fun!
Somehow, I'm still certain Sunset Shimmer will make an appearance.
I see another who has read the master-piece that is Harry Potter And The Portrait Of What Looked Like A Large Pile Of Ash.
Glorious.
All according to cake...
do i smell a potential romance?
edit: never mind, best derpy pairing is in this story
double-edit: i cannot wait for the next chapter!
Ah, time travel technobabble...these are a few of my favorite things.
So...Derpy has befriended Discord. This will be one of things that you just can't not watch unfold in front of you. Like being witness to a car crash. That crashed into all the other cars. That also crashed into a building. That fell over onto another building. That explodes. Which levels the whole city. And so on.
Oh, this is gonna be good!
Well this should be good. I'm not sure I've ever seen Discord and the Doctor interact before.
Man. This is going to make "Sunset Shimmer is Mad About Everything" look like "The Quiet Day."
I am gonna enjoy this if there are more chapters soon.
I loved this.
WHY?!!!! Why is there only ONE Chapter?!
This story is too amazing to stop at one chapter! You must venture onwards!
Nice story. Got a few typoes for you.
-poor -> pour
-site -> sight
-While typing the above, it occurred to me that The Doctor's device would be useless if it copied the source of the problem. Thus, even without Discord's help, creating a timeline where the couple never got together, and pulling an alternate Dearest Heart from it for Discord to marry on impulse would be perfectly possible. Envy issue solved? Variations on this solution obviously exist.
-I had forgotten about the blood...
More!!!!!!! PLease write more!!!!!
Well forget Whodunnit, I’m all for WhoDerpy in this story! Keep it going, nice work!
....Give DH a bath, too.
This is the most delightful first chapter I have read in ages. I adore everything about this.
This was so random and confusing my head hurts from reading it.
I want more.
I haven't smiled and laughed like this while reading a story in AGES. You nailed Discord, and the descriptions of his dimension is just a bug fat Yes.
This can only go one way.
Horribly.
For everyone else, that is.
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If that wasn't noticeable, then I think this part is.
Still, perfect way to start off the story. Already looking forward to future chapters
This is actually really adorable and wholesome. Well, relative to your usual.
Somehow, Discord doing absolutely nothing was one of the funniest parts.
I just wanted to let you know, I haven't clicked the 'favorite' button this fast on a story in a while. Love it!
Perfect Cell was there too?
Alondro pops into existence right next to Discord, who turns slowly while wearing an expression of sheer and utter terror. He meets Alondro's fiendish mad scientist-goggled gaze, trembling so violently that the air curdles into chunks of ricotta from the agitation.
"I call her Derpy Hooves," the malignant, malevolent, mysterious, magnificent, master of... stuff... said with profound finality.
"Very good, sir," Discord swallowed meekly. "Will that be all?"
This may be the best story ever made. Of all time. Ever. In all possible dimensions.
WHY IS THERE ONLY ONE CHAPTER? 
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Tell me, is your OC's color scheme red and black? Is the horn covered in glass shards and barbed wire?
Picking on you just a little bit, but wow, that's a nice power fantasy you have there.
9715620 Pfft, I haven't even revealed my FINAL FORM yet!
Gentlemen... BEHOLD!!
dailydiscord.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/montypyhton-1600x720.jpg
If yer gonna god-mode... why settle for less?
When will there be an update?
This will end well. Not for anyone involved mind you.
If awesome, pure madness and randomness had a baby, this would probably be one of the many offspring.
I. E., this shoit is noice.
This pleases me greatly. Please, more!
I am greatly amused. I look forward to more.
Please update soon!!
Fun fact - according to the leaks, this is much much closer to canon than one might've initially expected:
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/562922416578232340/635805386888183808/Screen_Shot_2019-10-19_at_12.58.25.png
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Well that's pretty assuring.
A bit hard to follow at first, but really enjoyable once it gained its momentum. I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.
Amethyst is Amy Pond? :P
This is, no joke, one of the best fanfics I've ever read!
The way you captured Discord's essence was masterful!
And don't even get me started on the whole "Derpy sees everything" thing!
I just everything everything about this I love
I read this straight after reading a chapter of The SweetieMash chronicles and I don’t know if I’m screaming incredulously at the sheer progression after six years or that even until now you still don’t use the HR markup and suddenly that made me feel warm and fuzzy inside at how some people just don’t change
Merry Christmas, Happy new year ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ)
That was quite a bit of chaos.
Well done.