• Member Since 4th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Duplex Fields


E
Source

Can't fly. Might never fly. When a filly's dreams are stripped away by the evidence before her, she discovers a world of long and scary words, of short and hurtful words, and of patronizing glances which make her feel like less of a pony.

Takes place between Flight To The Finish and Twilight Time.

Preview picture: "Maybe Someday" by ~Tami-Kitten, used with permission.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 54 )

Wait a minute! Who's Scootaloo;s sister?:rainbowhuh:

assets0.ordienetworks.com/images/GifGuide/clapping/citizen_cane.gif

That touched me, sir. I can't find a place for all these feels. Take some. Take them all! :raritydespair::raritycry:


Both of her friends just stood there, not

(end of part one)sure what to say.

Is that suppose to be like that? (sorry, don't know how to quote).

Other than that, this is a very interesting take that I for one haven't read before.. Who's Scoot's sister? You did good with Zecora too. I'm interested in seeing what happens, so tracking for now.

Tiny Wings has already explored this concept.

1058745
Doesn't mean this story can't explore it too, maybe take it in different directions. Seems to be doing a good job so far.

1058714 typo at end
Thanks. I am not sure how that even got in there, I'd deleted it from where I'd pasted it from the dA edition, I thought.

1058745 The Simpsons did it
It's a story I enjoyed, and both I and the Kleenex company heartily endorse it, and its side story by The Descendant. But how many "one of our friends dies" or "Twilight's bad spell" stories are there? I'm riding this one straight through my headcanon, and since I'm the conductor, I get to blow the horn. Sister? Yes. Fantastic racism? Yes. Ableism? Abso-derpin'-lutely. When this story is over, you'll believe a chicken can fly.

If the goal so far was to make us want to kick Scootaloo's dad in the balls, then I applaud you.

1058834

Ah, you're already aware of it.

I just figured that, since you're writing about this concept, you might enjoy another story that did it well. I didn't mean to come across as attacking your story, sorry.

1058740
I don't think so. From what I have seen, Derpy/Ditzy is a decent flyer.

1058893

Eh well, let's not worry too much about it.

Mr. Scootaloo's father, you son of a bitch. :flutterrage:

Tracking.

I'm thinking Fluttershy. Though I could be biased, since I was going to go that direction before deciding to do the plot of my current story.

:pinkiegasp:
I liked it immediately. Good job! :twilightsmile:

Scootadad, why must you disdain the power of SCIENCE!:flutterrage: Troglodyte.

I...I was actually thinking of dedicating a chapter of my own fic towards this story idea of Faust's, however, I think you did well enough for both of us, good sir (or madam). I will return for more.

Poor Scootaloo...

Continue, perhaps?

1058947 horrible father
1059104 bad dad

Now now, let's be fair. Loving parents make decisions all the time that affect the future health of their children, and potentially their communities, based on faulty, outdated, superstitions, unscientific, unrealistic, or wrong-headed advice from busybodies and famous nitwits who couldn't tell a double-blind study from a plothole in a fanfiction.

(Those links are only tangentially related to this story, which is in no way a commentary on or metaphor for that particular debate. However, that subject is near and dear to me for several reasons, personally and professionally. And because it is important to me, it's my final word on that particular topic.)

time travel and cast it on Scoot's mom in secret

So sad. I hope Zecora can do something, maybe she'll never fly like Rainbow Dash, but at least a little...

As for her father... I hope he falls off a cloud and breaks his wing. :scootangel:

Knew there'd be some new Scootaloo stories after that comment Lauren was said to have made.

Poor Scoots. I wonder if the show itself is going to explore the idea, or if it's just going to remain a mystery.

1058706 likely fluttershy from what she said

This looks very promising. I am looking forward to the rest. I also enjoyed the Fallout: Equestria reference.:twilightsmile:

I'm a bit confused with what happened to Scootaloo's wings. Could someone please clarify what Scootaloo's father did?

Well that was heart-rending... :unsuresweetie:

Pretty good so far. Good writing, and a nice little bit of comic relief with the Fallout: Equestria reference. Good explanation for her wing issues, too. Bravo. :moustache:

1073911 When Scootaloo's mom was pregnant, her dad didn't want her have a special spell cast on her, despite it being common medical practice. The spell in question would protect the developing foal from being born with any sort of birth defects. Because Scootaloo's dad didn't want them casting the spell, Scootaloo had no protection against any sort of complications, and she wound up being born with improperly developed wings. So, now she can't fly, and she blames her dad.

It's like how people avoid giving vaccinations to their children purely based on opinion with no valid reason not to.

Those are the people which make me angry.:flutterrage:

1085024
Actually, they're basing it on studies that fail the science test, but were published anyway. And the hype of celebrities. And the anti-corporate, anti-authority culture of alternative medicines, which promise results that are either magical or ludicrous. ("OMG, we'd have a cure for the common cold rite nao if Big Pharma could make $2,500.00 per pill on it!!!1!")

Don't know why you called this chapter hope, also don't like the way you handled Scootaloo or is it Pegasi in general. I get your trying to make a flawed character but making her seem like a bigot of sorts to Fluttershy enough to disown by her family and accept it and talk bad about her, and the other ponies are just accepting this type of behavior when she speaks like that makes no sense :rainbowhuh:. I mean look at Rainbow dash, she was friends with Fluttershy throughout her younger years regardless of not liking flying or being a "Grounder".

All in all the story idea is pretty good and I like it enough to keep reading :heart:, but you could handle the characters a little better, like the scene with Scootaloo's family, could of made them way worse to reflect on why Scootaloo thinks the way she does. Or have Scootaloo tell Sweetie belle that they were just trying to "save face" in front of a guest and act way worse :unsuresweetie:.

Also there are way better reasons to hate flutershy :fluttershbad: :trollestia:
:moustache::moustache:/5 I'll still be reading this :ajsmug:

Edit: 2/5 staches because the story is unfinished not because of how I think you should of handled the characters

Okay. First, I'm glad you pointed out who Scootaloo's sister is. Second, I decided to re-read the first chapter. I could see Scootaloo being upset because she always wanted to fly and it was something she was looking forward to for a long time. Now that was taken away from her. Plus finding out because of something not done because of parental beliefs. However, I don't understand why she thinks her parents would disown her or why her sister was disowned. I think that needs to be made clearer.

Nasty Mr. Scootaloo's dad!
Will be following this... very closely...

1333401
That will be made MUCH clearer in an upcoming chapter. Also, remember that everything so far has been from the perspective of children, and adults are notoriously bad at communicating with children.

1332931
What are you, a dictionary? :unsuresweetie: But you're right. There are much better titles. I'm renaming it now, and I can reuse it for a future chapter which fits better. I am not very good at picking chapter names.

As far as "grounder" goes, derogatory slang is highly local and highly subcultural, except when popular media gets hold of it. In my stories, "plot" will never be used, as that's not even in-universe slang. Also, "flank" and "blank-flank" aren't in common usage, it was just Cheerilee making up a rhyme on the spot, and DT and SS running with it.

Well, I've put Less on indefinite hiatus. Current canon conflicts too much, and it looks like they may not try that concept for the character. Also, Fluttersister is becoming less likely in its current form. Still, I do want to retool this story, rip out its still-beating heart and grow another body around it. Because this story is still important to me, however it ends up being written.

1763968 Screw canon. IMHO the main purpose of fan-fiction is to play out all the different "what-ifs" for a single cast of characters. (I may blog on what I mean by this later.)

>Why would Scootaloo throw away all the stuff from her Rainbow Dash Fan Club?
Does not need to be said.

This is a great story concept, well-done. Tough to imagine where you can go from here.

2279002
I agree, generally. But this story is so personal to me and to my own journey, I need to get it right. In this case, I need to see this crushing diagnosis come after (and possibly as a direct result of) the dizzying highs of "Sleepless In Ponyville." And given about a dozen fan comics that have come out since the episode, I've got a path less traveled to walk.

Dun. Dun. Dun. Glad to see this fic around again. I've always liked ScootaFlier stories.

Is this a rewrite version sorry can't read it where I'm at....(cough)work(cough)...but I can quickly read a reply :rainbowkiss:

I remember this in its 1.0 release. Happy to see it come back.

Glad to see this story updated. :scootangel:

Huh, I didn't know you could revoke chapters without clearing the old comments away. I wonder if they'll stop being labeled as "Chapter 0" once you make the next update.

Hmm, I remember reading this before, and I'm trying to recall what all happened in it the original. Probably a pointless thing to do, though, if this is a complete rewrite that changes the whole approach. I do know Twilight didn't have anything to do with it before, for one. I also recall Scootaloo calling Sweetie Belle a "hornjob" and making her drop her apple in the original, which was kind of amusing.

Anyway, I'm still interested to see what you do with this. Sometimes I wonder if Scootaloo is actually an earth pony with a developmental anomaly that gave her wings, and I wouldn't be surprised if that's your plan here. It's possible that ponies get birth defects that make their magic fail to match up with their body types, similar to how some people feel like their bodies are the wrong gender in real life. If she's an earth pony with wings, maybe the Apples can teach her some stuff. Maybe she'll eventually learn to think of herself not as a disabled pegasus, but a perfectly capable earth pony with wings as a bonus.

Or maybe she is a pegasus through and through, and her magic is just plain broken.

If Scootaloo doesn´t have any pegasus magic, how can she manipulate clouds?

3700510 She doesn't have lift, antigravitational potential, ie, wingpower. That's apparently one of several inherent magics of the pegasi, and she appears to have the rest of them so far. Thrust she has in spades, and Sturdiness, and Cloud-walking.

Should be fairly simple to fix. Either biologically, or give her a weightlessness belt.

Thank you SO much for writing this. Sometimes I feel like I'm all alone in noticing the obvious!

3773932 Having Asperger Syndrome, and confronting the facts of disability, handicap, disorder, and the social consequences of each, I have to notice, in order to live my life as I want it lived.

Of course, this little journey can't end as quickly as those wonderful comics that show Scootaloo with Pinkie's balloon harness or Tank's hover-propellor. Being called less than other people takes a toll, whether it's a kid or an adult, and no amount of "you're awsome anyway, kiddo" can stand against that storm of self-doubt.

3773997 well, it's not the issue of being CALLED less... noone but an ass would do that... but being told to ACCEPT less. The only answer needed from Scootaloo is "I don't care what other people think. But I have wings-- I belong up THERE, flying!"

At least Scootalo is the fast Pegasus that can ride a Scooter really fast.:scootangel:

:rainbowhuh:I bet her cutie mark is a scooter with wings:pinkiegasp:

Login or register to comment