Phantom Writer
Joined 12th Mar, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Israel Yabuki · 5.6k words · 41 9 · 1.2k views
- Celestial Heavens · 7.4k words · 37 12 · 1.1k views
- Mirror Star · 7.4k words · 38 11 · 1.3k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.048 seconds
Total duration
1,047 users online
306,419 hits today, 1,872,792 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
While i enjoyed the original version, it will still be fun to read this remake.
9095724
Hope you enjoy
9095724
Agreed.
Not sure I enjoy Braeburn being portrayed as a dick here, but I’mma remain optimistic about this story and where it’s going.
9095800
Considering this is an AU and a remake of the original where he was also a racist slave owning and trading jerk, it fits well. Any other Braeburn across the multiverse would probably stand up for Matthew and beat up their disgrace of a counterpart for how he acts as it goes against the Apple Family way. Then there's the King who if this follows the original story as the author originally meant it to, is a racist sexist monster who'd see his daughters in the dungeons as slaves and prisoners than in power undoing everything he's done. A reckoning is a coming and the KIng might die by Celestia and Luna's hooves for his crimes.
The story is a good one and I look forward to seeing what changes between the original and this one.
Shits about to get real.
Oh my god yes. This was one of the first 3 MLP stories I ever read (but on FanFic) and I can't wait to see what's up.
I enjoyed the first chapter quite a bit. Even though you only have the one chapter it's shaping up to be a wonderful story. I look forward to seeing what you do with it next.
Looking forward to seeing this develop!
Damn that was deep.
This is getting good! I wonder what kind of potential Matt has to be the only hope of his kind.
Can't wait for the next chapter! Keep up the amazing work!!
final
defeat
Heart's
Replace the comma with ‘‘that’’.
‘‘he's the toughest’’
The quotation mark at the end should not be there.
needs
The phrasing makes it seem like AJ is referring to herself.
These are not even all the errors in the chapter.
9184728
Thanks, I'll fix those when I get a chance. Feel free to message me if you have anymore error's I've made.
I hate cliffhangers!, But I love the story.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!!?!!
Y'all saw that bit at the end of Mathew being the true King of Equestria right? Oh shits about to get really spicy soon.
🎶Love is in the air🎶
Applejack's
There is such a thing as light black?
I tought Apple Bloom was still a filly?
Missing commas around ‘‘however’’.
at
used
It is a name, so the first letters should be uppercase.
hands
Remove the first ‘could’.
Remove the ‘ 's ’, as it would make the sentence ‘‘She is also had’’
robes
figures
are
there
you're
‘‘need to tell’’
you're
You're
Missing comma after Luna.
for
Either ‘no’ or ‘‘not a bother’’.
humans
guest
You mean ‘set up’?
of
us
‘‘the scars’’ ?
9200275
Fixed
Wow!!!! I did not see that coming! This is getting even more interesting!
Hey, just a question if you don't mind, does the story will have clop scenes? Because it has the 'Sex' tag.
9201609
I wouldn't have it as a tag if I wasn't planning on adding a clop scene
Holy shit this just got awesome!!
Oh boy.... this can't be good.
9205140
I mean war never sounds good
thumbs.gfycat.com/PaleAnyAbyssiniancat-size_restricted.gif
you're
are
Your mother's
‘‘much more of’’
Uppercase B should be lowercase.
Sawdust's
to
Would a period be more fitting?
come
you're
Missing comma.
than
boulder
Missing comma after ‘yell’.
She had an explosive?
off
it's/it is
9207952
Fixed
Name's
Missing comma after ‘looking’.
you're
Missing comma after ‘running’ ?
Missing comma after ‘hours’.
Can what?
‘‘there are’’
there
Revome ‘an’
Missing comma after ‘camp’.
looks
Missing comma after ‘wonderful’.
used
like
‘ 'till/until’
You're
‘‘more of the human side than’’
EIther ‘‘I've done’’ or ‘‘I did’’.
Comma should be period.
‘‘both of these two’’
From what?
by? Particularly uncertain about this one.
Missing comma before and after Nightfire.
Mising comma before and after ‘however’.
Comma should be period and a new comma should be put behind ‘however’.
its
an
Feels like there should be a comma before ‘except’.
Comma behind Big Mac
you're
‘‘He will’’?
‘‘already told you’’
Forward slash should be a period.
whose
needs
You're
Missing comma behind ‘off’.
‘‘leaving the three’’
Missing comma before the uppercase i.
I want to read the suffering of the slavers'
More plz!
Will this get an update in the near future or what?
I thought this story was dead but welcome back!
Glad to see you're still around.
This was a great chapter and I can't wait to see more.
I have waited oh so long~
Now for potential errors:
Why is there a comma behind ‘for’?
I think that the uppercase P should be lowercase.
there
Unnecessary asterisk.
listening
The part in italics seems like it should be a new sentence.
‘‘made her way (...)’’ ?
Acres
Maybe add a comma after ‘normal pony’?
The part in italics looks like it should be a new sentence.
startle?
there
Your alive!!!!
It's been a LOOONG time. How have you been?
10747255
It alive! It's alive!!!!
10747962
I'm glad your enjoying it
10748955
I am!
10749319
I'm doing pretty good. 
Yeah it's been some time
10748207
I shall fix those when given the chance!
Do they have different types of magic?
If it’s around his wrist, wouldn’t that make it a bracelet?
Damn, she’s an OG.
Who’s that?
Who’s the baby?
How did she get that scar on her hand?
Does that me they can’t make him a slave?
Don’t earth ponies have magic?
What is it?
Why not tell celestia?
But, they wouldn’t be able to do anything.
Oh no.
I thought this was dead.
ITS ALIVE!!!!!!
11101379
Same here
11101379
c.tenor.com/2lMoNRA0o5QAAAAd/megamind-metroman.gif
11102303
It has been living, mostly in my brain but I'm slowly working on more chapters
10749319
Sorry I'm late to reply to this life and such but I've been good!
11102352
Cant wait to see what you come up with and hope they come soon
Poke Poke... do something
11385704
holy crap you did something
A rather interesting scenario, how not all is Black and white