Standing in her Shadow
“Hey, Sunset! Wanna go hang out at the Sweet Shoppe?” Pinkie Pie jogged up next to Sunset, pulling the other girl from her thoughts.
“Hmm? Oh, sorry Pinkie, I’ve got plans.”
“Ooh, what kind of plans?” Pinkie leaned close, giving no regard to personal space.
“I’m heading to Twilight’s for the weekend. I was headed there now, actually.” A small smile touched Sunset’s lips.
“I’m guessing it’s your Twilight, not our Twilight?”
“Got it in one.”
“I win!” Pinkie tossed her arms into the air with glee. “I knew I was right, though. You always have that smile everytime you talk about Princess Twilight.”
“I do not.” Sunset gave Pinkie a gentle shove, unable to hide the widening grin on her face.
“See, that one!” Pinkie snapped a picture on her phone and held it out to Sunset. “It’s super cute when you smile like that, ‘cuz it means you’re really happy!”
Sunset felt the heat rise in her cheeks. “Well, we are dating. And she makes me happy. She’s smart, pretty, she’s got this confidence to her that I wish I had...”
“What do you mean? You’ve got all that stuff too! You’re super nice, and you make people smile, and you’re really, really pretty! Princess Twilight’s a lucky girl.” Pinkie gave Sunset a wink.
“You’re sweet, Pinkie.” They stopped in front of the statue in front of Canterlot High. What was left of it, at least. “Well, here’s my stop. I loaned the journal to our Twilight in case you need to get ahold of me.”
“Okie dokie! Don’t have too much fun over there. We’d all be sad if you didn’t come back,” Pinkie said playfully.
Sunset rolled her eyes. “I’ll be back Sunday night. I’ll text you and the girls when I’m back.” A ripple passed through the stone of the side of the statue’s base, signifying that the magical portal it hid had been opened from the other side. “That’s my cue. Talk to you later Pinkie.”
“Bye, Sunny…” Pinkie’s smile faltered as Sunset stepped through the portal
and landed on her hooves on the other side.
“Still can’t get used to that. At least I stuck the landing this time, right...” Sunset looked about for her marefriend, only to find her noticeably absent. “Twilight?”
“She’s handling some last-minute stuff for Celestia, something about a delegation from Saddle Arabia. She should be back soon.” A light pink unicorn lowered the book that had been hiding her from sight. “She said to make yourself at home until she gets back.”
“Oh, hey Starlight.” Sunset smiled to hide her disappointment. “How have you been?”
“Oh, you know, dealing with dangerous adventures and friendship crises on a weekly basis.” Starlight shrugged. “The usual.”
“You too, huh?” Sunset chuckled and took a seat across from the other mare. “What I wouldn’t give for a week without some kind of magical object turning life upside-down. Maybe one day we’ll get a break, huh?”
Starlight stifled a giggle with a hoof. “I’d love it if that break came with a beach vacation.”
“Oh, yeah. Sand, sun, and a few strong drinks… that’d be great.” A wistful sigh escaped Sunset. “Someday, huh?”
“Yeah, someday…”
A quiet settled between the two of them as they both dreamed of sea air and sunbathing.
“We should do it,” Sunset announced.
“Huh?”
“We should go on a beach vacation. I’ve got nothing planned for summer break, and I’ll probably be visiting Twilight a lot… We should go to the beach one of those days. Somewhere nice, like Campolina.”
A grin broke out across Starlight’s face. “You know what, that does sound nice. Alright, let’s do it. We can invite everypony and make it a nice getaway.”
“Deal.” Sunset smirked and the two bumped hooves.
The double doors to the library opened, announcing the arrival of a purple alicorn in all her majesty. She trotted in—confident, beautiful, perfect—and smiled at Sunset.
“Twilight!” Sunset was on her hooves in an instant, greeting Twilight with a firm kiss. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too.” Twilight giggled and stole another kiss. “You wouldn’t believe how crazy this week has been.”
“You guys look like you’ve got some catching up to do. I’ll, uh, see myself out…” Starlight grinned sheepishly and quickly darted from the library.
“Okay, see you… later.” Sunset gave a half-hearted wave after Starlight. “Is she okay?”
“I think she was looking to give us a bit of time to, ah, catch up, so to speak.” Twilight said as her cheeks flushed pink.
“Well, I’m all for that.” Sunset smirked with half-lidded eyes. “Where should we start?” She nuzzled Twilight’s neck, giving it a little nip that drew a cry of surprise from the alicorn.
“Maybe somewhere a little more… private?” Twilight offered with a wink.
“Sounds like—”
An ear-splitting shriek split the air, drawing the attention of both mares. Twilight was gone in a flash of purple magic, leaving Sunset to run towards the sound of the screams. She was starting to regret not memorizing the castle’s layout as she wove through the halls until she stumbled across the foyer.
She darted outside to find a large creature rampaging through Ponyville.
The bearlike beast looked like something out of the night sky, its translucent fur sparkling like the night sky. It paused only to bellow in rage before tearing at any rooftops nearby.A pale blue unicorn cowered nearby.
“Twilight, what do you need me to do?” Sunset asked, crouching low, ready to spring into action.
“I’ve got this, Sunset.” Twilight smiled brightly at her marefriend. “Just stay back, okay?”
“O-oh…” Sunset blinked in surprise and her ears drooped a little. “Alright, I’ll just be here out of the way, then.” She pawed a hoof at the earth.
Twilight didn’t seem to notice as she turned to face the monster. Her expression remained calm as she reached out with her magic and gently scooped up the creature, much to its surprise. She started humming to herself as the the beast started to rock back and forth in her magic. Soon enough, it was asleep and floating far from Ponyville. Twilight didn’t even break a sweat.
“Was that an Ursa Major?” Sunset asked breathily once Twilight stopped using her magic.
“Ursa Minor, actually,” Twilight corrected. “This isn’t the first time it’s come to Ponyville, though. Right, Trixie?” Twilight turned to face the blue unicorn with a stern expression on her face. “Care to explain why it came back?”
“I— Trixie thought she could handle it this time.” Trixie glowered at her hooves while she pawed at the dirt.
Twilight frowned a moment longer before her features softened. “Trixie, I know you’ve been making a lot of progress with your magic lately, but please be more careful. Somepony could have been hurt.”
“I… The Great and Powerful Trixie apologizes,” Trixie sighed in defeat, “I’ll be more careful.”
Twilight looked at Trixie expectantly as Trixie took a tentative step back. “Wait for it…” she murmured just loud enough for Sunset to hear.
In the blink of an eye, smoke erupted around Trixie. When it cleared, Trixie was already galloping into the distance.
“There it is.” A small smile settled across Twilight’s muzzle. “Some things never change.”
“Trixie always invites Ursa Minors to attack the town?”
“No, but she’s got a tendency to drop a smoke bomb whenever she’s embarrassed. I’ll ask Starlight to talk to her later. She’s better at handling Trixie than I am.” Twilight glanced over at Sunset. “She reminds me of you a little, actually.”
“I cause trouble?” Sunset teased.
Twilight giggled. “No, silly. She used to be a bit of a… bad egg, I guess you’d say. Trixie’s come a long way, kind of like a special somepony I know.”
“I should have expected you to be a mare of many reformations. Who’s next on the turn-from-bad-to-good list, Chrysalis?”
“We haven’t found her since the last incident, but I’m not taking it off the table.” Twilight started walking back inside with a confident smile on her muzzle.
Sunset glanced down the road and frowned at the blue dot that was Trixie before looking back at Twilight. “You’ve got a knack for finding the bad ones, don’t you?” she murmured to herself.
“Sunset, you coming?” Twilight stopped by the castle doors, looking over her shoulder at Sunset.
“Yeah.” Sunset forced a smile. “Sorry, I guess I spaced out for a sec.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Twilight lead Sunset inside. “Anyway, I was hoping to show you something since you’re here. A little project I’ve been working on.”
“So what’s this experiment supposed to prove, again?”
“Well, my theory is that every sentient creature has some semblance of magic within them, a sort of attunement to the world that lets them perform feats that they consider commonplace.” Twilight explained. She looked cute in her lab coat and safety goggles.
Sunset stood next to her in a matching lab coat. Around them, machines buzzed and whirred, calculating numbers faster than most ponies could manage in their heads. Unless that pony was Twilight, who looked like she was having no problems keeping up with the numbers scrolling across one of the screens at breakneck speeds.
“Isn’t that already a thing everypony believes?” Sunset raised an eyebrow at Twilight’s back.
“Technically speaking, it is a widely believed phenomenon, but nopony has taken the time to scientifically prove it. If we’re successful, it could open the doors to understanding other species on a biological level, maybe even provide a starting point for diplomatic relations with dragons, minotaurs, even the breezies!” Twilight gushed.
“Alright, I get it,” Sunset smiled and rolled her eyes, “Princess of Friendship wants to combine science and friendship. Sounds like a good thing to work towards.” She stepped forward next to Twilight and tried to keep up with reading the numbers on the screen Twilight hadn’t looked away from. “How can I help?”
“I’ve been gathering voluntary samples and data from various visitors to Ponyville. They’re over in that cabinet there.” Twilight pointed a hoof. “Could you do me a favor and gather up the samples in the jars and set them up on the table there?”
“No problem.” Sunset busied herself with collecting bottles out of the cabinet. Each contained a peculiar swirling something within. “What are these, exactly?” She asked as she cradled them with a foreleg.
“Synthesized magic, collected from willing donors. You wouldn’t believe how hard it was to come up with a spell that would allow me to gather it without harming the volunteers.”
“Huh… wonders never cease with you.” Sunset smiled to herself as she arranged each bottle on the table.
“Just be careful, some of those magics are incredibly volatile— especially the dragonfire.”
“I got this, Twi—” Sunset looked over her shoulder and accidentally bumped the table. Time moved in slow motion as one of the glass vials fell on its side and rolled off the table.
Sunset caught it in her magic just before it hit the floor.
“Good news, I’ve still got my quick reflexes.” She chuckled nervously as she gently floated the bottle back into place. She turned to face Twilight and stood on her hind legs to recline against the table. “Maybe I missed a calling preventing magical disasters.” She paused, tapping a hoof to her muzzle in thought. “Come to think of it, I guess I do that back home.”
A crack of wood behind her was the only indication that something had gone wrong.
The table fell. Sunset fell. Bottles flew.
And then the lab exploded.
Sunset’s ears were ringing as the smoke cleared around the purple bubble she was in. She blinked at the the shimmering purple orb in confusion.
“What…?” Her voice sounded far away to her. She was vaguely aware of someone calling her name. Or maybe it was swearing? It was hard to tell over the ringing.
The bubble melted away as Twilight ran up to her. “Sunset! Are you alright? You’re not hurt, are you?!” There were tears in the corners of Twilight’s eyes as she squeezed Sunset tightly to her chest.
“I’m fine.” Sunset said into Twilight’s fur, which came out as a much more muffled ‘Mmm fnnn.’ She pushed herself away from Twilight’s hug enough to breathe. “What happened?”
The lab was a disaster. Equipment sparked and popped, the last breaths of dying machines. The smoke and dust settled, and Sunset saw that she and Twilight were the only things to come out of the blast unharmed.
“The table’s leg broke and sent my samples flying! I’m just glad you’re alright!” Twilight hugged tighter.
“But… how am I alright?”
“I barely managed to get my shield spells up in time.”
“Oh…” Sunset blinked and finally wrapped her forelegs around Twilight. “Have I ever told you you’re amazing?”
Twilight choked out a short laugh. “Not recently, no.”
“You’re amazing, Twilight.”
Twilight insisted on cleaning up the lab later, once she was certain there was no threat of spontaneous combustion or secondary explosions. Sunset’s mane flowed in the cool breeze that wafted over the balcony they rested on.
“Twilight, I’m so sorry—”
“Sunset, for the fourth time, it’s fine. Stuff happens.” Twilight smiled softly and wrapped a wing around Sunset. “We weren’t hurt, that’s the important part.”
“I know, but your lab— your work! It’s all gone now.”
“It’ll take time to replace everything, but it can all be replaced. You can’t be.”
“But—”
“No ‘but’s, Sunset.” Twilight carefully turned Sunset’s gaze to meet her own with a gentle hoof. “You’re okay, that’s all that matters.”
Sunset scowled at her hooves. “If it weren’t for me, there wouldn’t have been an issue at all.”
“Nopony could have predicted that the table was faulty. It was just unfortunate circumstance.” Twilight said reassuringly. “Why don’t we grab something to eat? Take our minds off of this.”
Sunset said nothing.
“Come on, let’s go.” Twilight guided a sullen Sunset through the castle and into the dining hall. “Sit here, I’ll see if I can’t make something for us.”
Twilight disappeared into the kitchen, and, soon enough, a pleasant scent trailed out and wrapped around Sunset. Her stomach growled in approval.
Twilight returned with two heaping stacks of pancakes and set one in front of Sunset.
Of course they were delicious, with their whipped cream and their fresh fruits and the little arrangement of red grapes and orange slices that looked like Sunset’s cutie mark.
Sunset picked at the pancakes, her appetite lacking in light of recent events.
“Sunset?” Sunset jumped at the sound of Twilight’s voice. “Are you okay?” Concern practically radiated off the alicorn as she leaned close.
“I’m fine, just… not hungry, I guess.”
Twilight’s brow furrowed, and she frowned at nothing in particular. Eventually she let out a small sigh and pushed her pancakes away. “You know what? It’s been a hectic day. Why don’t we call it an early night and get some sleep?”
Sunset stared at her pancakes for a moment before nodding. “Yeah. Sleep sounds nice.”
She was suddenly aware of the dull ache radiating through her body. The tension eased ever-so-slightly and she followed Twilight to bed.
~~~
Twilight was breathing softly, having drifted off to the land of dreams long ago. Moonlight spilled through the curtains, washing over the carpet and bathing the bed in gentle shafts of light. It gave Sunset the perfect amount of light to watch her princess slumber.
She’d propped herself up on an elbow, resting her head on her hoof, and just watched Twilight—perfect, radiant Twilight—sleep. How was she so lucky? The faintest hint of a smile touched her features before fading away just as quickly. A long, quiet sigh escaped her and she slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Twilight.
Sleep would not find her tonight.
Sunset wandered. She didn’t know where she was going exactly, nor did she care. Eventually, her wanderings took her to the Twilight’s map room.
She walked the edge of the table, running a hoof along the top of the map. She stopped when she reached a large chair adorned with Twilight’s cutie mark at the top and took a seat.
“Sunset? Is that you?” Starlight stepped into view, looking haggard with a tousled mane and dark circles under her eyes.
“Yeah. I, uh, couldn’t sleep.” Sunset rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly.
“You too, huh?”
“I— yeah. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”
Starlight took a seat in one of the other chairs situated around the map. “Wanna talk about it?”
“You don’t want to hear about my problems.”
“Sunset, If I can listen to Trixie for the last six hours, I can listen to you for a few minutes.” Starlight said flatly.
Sunset took a deep breath to steady herself before she spoke. “Do you think I deserve to be with Twilight?”
“I— wow.” Starlight blinked in surprise. “That was a lot deeper than I expected.”
“What did you expect?”
“I don’t know, school problems?” Starlight shrugged. “I didn’t think you and Twilight were having problems.”
“We’re not! Well, Twilight’s not. I think.” Sunset shifted uncomfortably. “It’s just… when we started dating I couldn’t believe that a mare like her would give me the time of day, especially after the whole Fall Formal fiasco.”
“Twilight mentioned that…”
“But we started dating, and I got to know her even better than I did, and she’s even more amazing than I thought. Bearing the Elements of Harmony, defeating multiple threats to Equestria, becoming a princess...”
“Yeah, Twilight’s something, all right.” Starlight nodded. “Smart, pretty, super forgiving. I guess we both know that firsthoof.”
“See? You get it. Twilight’s absolutely incredible and I’m… me.”
“You’re pretty amazing yourself, you know.” Starlight smirked.
“I’ve come a long way, yeah, but I’ve messed up just as much.” Sunset tossed her hooves in the air in frustration. “I blew up Twilight’s lab today— broke a table, sent her samples flying. Of course, Twilight was there to keep me from getting blown up, too. Did you know she can cast two barrier spells at once?”
“Really?” Starlight whistled in appreciation. “That must be new.”
“Not helping.”
“Sorry.”
“I just… I don’t feel like I could ever measure up to someone like Twilight,” Sunset grumbled, idly tracing a hoof in circles on the map in front of her.
“That’s kinda the point, though, isn’t it? She’s going to always be on a different level than the rest of us.”
“What do you mean?” Sunset frowned and leaned forward.
“She’s going to be better at things and make it look easy, and everypony will look up to her for it. Ponies like you and I—especially us—are always going to be in her shadow. At the end of the day, Twilight’s a princess and we’re… not.”
Sunset went quiet, staring at her hooves and processing what Starlight had just told her. She was right. Twilight was a princess, and she was always going to be better than Sunset.
“But even though we’re not like her doesn’t mean we’re a burden.”
“Twilight’s lab would say otherwise.”
“That was one mistake.” Starlight stood up suddenly. “Twilight’s not going to stop loving you over one mistake.”
“There was also the parasprite infestation I caused last time I visited.” Sunset said pointedly.
“Okay, two—”
“And then the time before that, I tried cooking and lit the kitchen on fire.”
“Yeah, but—”
“And there was the time I knocked over an entire bookcase in the library and almost smashed Twilight.”
“I get it!” Starlight huffed and flopped back into her seat in defeat. “So you’ve had a string of bad luck, who cares?”
“I just… I don’t know what to do.” Sunset buried her face in her hooves and groaned.
“Have you tried talking to Twilight about it?”
A hollow laugh escaped Sunset. “You know Twilight. She’d understand completely, and she’d try to talk me through it and be so patient and it wouldn’t change a darn thing about how I’m holding her back.” She growled.
“Who said anything about you holding anypony back?”
“It doesn’t need to be said! From the moment we met, I’ve done nothing but cause problems for Twilight. The first few times I can brush off, but eventually you have to start wondering if it’s even worth keeping me around.
“What if I always hold her back? Why does Twilight even bother with me? What if I’m just a-a project—somepony that still needs to be reformed?”
“Now you’re just being—”
Sunset was on her hooves abruptly. “I… I need to go.” She was leaving before Starlight had a chance to protest, making a beeline for the library and the portal.
“Wait!” Starlight trotted to catch up to Sunset. “What about Twilight?”
“Tell her I’m not feeling well. She’ll understand. She always does.” Sunset stepped through the portal.
It was raining when she crossed the portal. Sunset grunted and started for home, eager to leave her doubt behind in Equestria. She pulled her phone from her pocket and shot off a quick text to Pinkie.
‘I’m back’
She stared at the screen for a few moments before pocketing it. She wasn’t going to get an answer. No reason Pinkie would be up this late, right?
Still, a promise was a promise, and she’d said she was going to let the others know when she was back. Pinkie would take care of telling the others in the morning.
Sunset was home before she knew it, tired, miserable, and soaked to the bone. She stripped out of her soaked clothes and quickly dried herself before throwing on some pajamas and flopping onto her bed with another groan.
Time passed slowly, and Sunset found herself dozing before being snapped back to consciousness by someone knocking at the door. Sunset ignored it. Probably just some kid pulling a prank.
The knock sounded again, more urgently this time. A heavy sigh escaped her as Sunset went to open the door.
“Pinkie?” Sunset blinked in surprise at the soggy girl on her front step. “What are you doing here?”
“Do you mind if I come in?” Pinkie asked tentatively. Sunset stepped aside and Pinkie took a seat on the couch.
Sunset crossed the room and pulled two sodas from a mini fridge before taking a seat on the couch and passing one to Pinkie.
Pinkie quietly took a seat and held the soda on her lap. They sat in silence, save for the hum of the light overhead. Pinkie idly smoothed out her skirt, glancing at Sunset expectantly.
“So what’s up?” Sunset broke the quiet. “Everything okay?”
Pinkie nodded. “You came back early, so I was worried.”
“I’m fine.” Sunset answered a bit too quickly.
“You wanna talk about it?”
“No.” Sunset growled, and silence settled between them.
Pinkie sat on the other side of the quiet, chewing her lip and glancing at Sunset every so often. “So... you wanna talk about it now?” She offered hesitantly. “I can be a good listener.”
Sunset traced a finger around the edge of the can and exhaled slowly, weighing her options. She caved. “Do you think I hold Twilight back?”
Pinkie opened her mouth and closed it again, looking as though she’d blown a fuse.
“I keep telling myself I’m overthinking this, that Twilight loves me, but lately I seem to screw everything up when I visit Equestria.”
“You don’t—”
“I blew up her lab today. If Twilight hadn’t reacted, I’d have blown up with it.”
“Oh… That is pretty bad.” Pinkie frowned down at her unopened drink. “But you’re okay! That’s the important part.” She looked up and beamed at Sunset. “And you’re not holding anybody back! You’re just as smart and pretty and great as Princess Twilight—no, better!
“You did a bunch of super bad stuff and you still turned out super duper nice because of it. It’s like you know what it’s like to not have friends and it made you, like, the best friend ever!” Pinkie was on her feet, waving her hands and gesticulating wildly.
The faintest hint of a smile touched Sunset’s lips. “You think so?” The smile faded. “I just feel like, I dunno, I don’t deserve her?”
Pinkie went quiet and sat back down. “Are you two gonna break up?”
The question hit Sunset right in the gut, stealing her breath away. That was the real question, wasn’t it? Should she let Twilight go, let her flourish without Sunset holding her back?
The thought of breaking things off terrified her, but so did staying with Twilight.
“I honestly don’t know. I don’t think Twilight knows there’s anything wrong.” Sunset scowled and chugged the last of the soda. “If she did, I’m sure she’d just wave her hooves and fix it. It’s just so… frustrating, you know?”
“Nu-uh.” Pinkie shook her head.
“I never felt like this before I started dating Twilight. Now I feel like I’m just… there. Like it doesn’t matter what I do, Twilight can always fix it.”
“You could talk to her—”
“No!” Sunset snapped. “She wouldn’t understand, anyway.”
“Why not? I understand.” Pinkie offered, chewing her lip.
“Right.” Sunset had to work hard to not roll her eyes.
“I do!” Pinkie scooted a little closer to Sunset. “You feel like… like the leftover screw from the furniture you just spent the last four hours putting together!”
Sunset raised an eyebrow in confusion.
“You think you’re useless, ‘cause the desk got built already, and that you’re just being kept around because Twilight doesn’t want to throw you away even though she doesn’t need you. Like, maybe she’ll need you later?
“But you’re not useless! Just because you feel like nobody needs you doesn’t mean nobody needs you. Your friends need you. I need you.
”You’re the most special person I know, Sunny. I just wish you could see you the way I see you, because… because I really, really care about you, Sunset, and I wish I had said that before you started dating Twilight.” Pinkie pouted. She’d propped herself on her hands, crawling closer as she talked.
“Pinkie…” Sunset’s breath caught in her chest as she reeled from Pinkie’s revelation. “I— I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. Just be happy.” Pinkie wiped a tear from Sunset’s cheek and smiled brightly. “You’re always prettier when you smile."
Sunset reached her hand up to Pinkie’s and gave it an affectionate squeeze. “You’re too nice to me.”
“I got you to smile, though.” Pinkie said with a little giggle.
A weak chuckle escaped Sunset. “Thanks, Pinkie.” She turned her smile towards Pinkie and their eyes met.
She was suddenly incredibly aware of just how close Pinkie had gotten during her rambling.
Close enough that she could see the hesitation in Pinkie’s eyes.
Close enough for her to feel Pinkie’s breath on her face.
Close enough for their lips to meet.
Sunset hesitated, torn between pulling away and pulling Pinkie closer.
If Pinkie held the same reservations, she didn’t show it as she ran her hand through Sunset’s hair. Her tongue playfully danced past Sunset’s lips and a happy hum escaped her.
Sunset’s doubt ebbed, washed away by carnal necessity and she pushed herself deeper into the kiss. Pinkie matched Sunset with equal fervor, gently pulling Sunset down onto the couch with her.
~~~
A loud buzzing woke Sunset and she sat up slowly. It was still dark out, and she could still hear rain pattering on the roof. She grabbed her phone off the nightstand and stared at it bleary-eyed, blinking until her eyes adjusted to the brilliant light of the screen.
It was Twilight—human Twilight—texting her.
‘Hey Sunset. The journal’s been going off nonstop for a while.’
‘Not-me-Twilight seems really worried. Is everything okay?’
‘Sunset? Now I’m starting to worry.’
‘Princess Twilight says she’s coming over.’
Sunset’s heart skipped a beat and a dead weight in the pit of her stomach. Twilight was coming over. Sunset had just betrayed her special somepony in the worst possible way, and Twilight was coming over. Panic forced her into action.
Sunset threw on underwear and a large shirt and hopped the short distance from her bed loft to the floor, glancing about frantically as she tried to figure out what she could possibly do to prevent Twilight finding out like this.
The lock to the front door turned, and Sunset cursed herself for hiding a spare key outside.
“Sunset?” It was Twilight, not that Sunset expected otherwise. Twilight caught sight of Sunset in the dim light from the front door and crossed the room, wrapping her arms about her. Sunset’s now wet shirt clung to her uncomfortably.
“I was so worried! What happened? Starlight said you weren’t feeling well.”
“It’s nothing, I just wasn’t feeling like myself.” Sunset mumbled. She kept her arms at her sides, unable to bring herself to return Twilight’s hug.
“What’s wrong?” Twilight took a step back and looked Sunset in the eyes. “ Talk to me. Whatever it is, I can help.” Of course she could. This was Twilight, after all.
Sunset couldn’t find the words around the lump in her throat.
“Sunset, please—”
A sleepy groan from the loft distracted Twilight, and Sunset’s heart stopped.
Twilight glanced over Sunset’s shoulder as Pinkie sat up slowly—groggy, sleepy, and still very much unclothed. Sunset was caught.
“Pinkie?” Twilight said slowly as she stepped back from Sunset. Pinkie let out a cry of surprise and wrapped the blanket around herself. “What…?”
Twilight looked from Pinkie to Sunset to the floor, her eyes darting about and taking in the scene before her. Clothes were still strewn about, the couch cushions had been knocked to the floor, and there were still wet spots in the carpet where a rain-soaked Pinkie had walked.
Sunset could practically follow the path she and Pinkie had taken from the couch to her bed.
“Twilight, I can explain…” Sunset started, only to be cut off when Twilight shook her head.
“W-what’s there to explain?” Twilight’s eyes glistened in the dim light. “You were upset, and-and-and Pinkie came over to cheer you up. She’s a good friend like that.” Her voice cracked ever so slightly.
“B-but it’s raining out, and Pinkie couldn’t walk home in the rain so late, so, um… so you let her stay the night.” Twilight pursed her lips and paused for a moment. “I bet your dryer’s broken again, isn’t it?” A choked laugh escaped her. “That’s why Pinkie’s got no clothes to wear, right?”
“Twilight…”
“Tell me I’m right, Sunset,” Twilight sniffled, “please?”
Sunset’s gaze had glued itself to the floor, unable to look at Twilight. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled lamely.
“So am I.” Twilight’s voice was barely above a whisper as she stepped backwards from Sunset. “I… I need to go. I can’t be here.” She turned to leave.
Sunset reached out after her. “Twilight, please, let me—”
“No!” Twilight said with enough force for Sunset to hesitate. She spun to face her and shook her head. Tears were streaming down her face.
“I just— I can’t be with you right now.” Twilight took another step backwards. “Goodbye, Sunset.”
Twilight left, and Sunset found herself staring after her in stunned silence.
“Aren’t you gonna go after her?” Pinkie’s voice at her side snapped her out of her reverie and she jumped.
“No,” Sunset replied glumly, trudging her way to the couch and sinking down onto it, “I didn’t deserve her in the first place.”
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Wow, this is kinda hard to read (for the subject, the writing is exemplary). Very good though, it's nice to read a story that didn't end well for anyone once and a while. Sad and heartfelt
Please tell me that there is a sequel and that Sunset and Princess Twilight get back!?
I love the Sunlight Ship and I can't see my ship go down this way!? It's too heartbreaking!
Wow, it feels like Pinkie took advantage of Sunset's insecurities and her emotional vulnerably state. Poor Twilight, have to find out that something is wrong in their relationship like this.
A very good story, I enjoyed it.
That last line. Holy crap.
8745304
Agreed. That last line was powerful. It's awesome to see fics on this site that aren't just good by fanfiction standards, but legitimately good.
Good work to the author!
8745354
I know. Its really good.
Oh, you son of a bitch.
8745366
You knew I was entering already.
8745380
I was kind of hoping you wouldn’t deliver a formidable story. Now I have to read it to see if I’ll lose.
Now Twilight can move on to the better choice, Starlight. 😈
Can I do a Dub of this story on YouTube? It's near perfect and needs recognition.
8745437
Knock yourself out.
Wow I didn't expect such an ending. I hope Princess Twilight and Sunset make up.
Hnnnng. Sorry, but I really didn't like this.
There are some number of areas in the prose that want improvement, many of which I showed you on Discord, but the real issue I see here is that these just... aren't the characters. None of this feels right. I think the problem is that there's nothing in the way the characters interact that sells me on this at all. The whole thing about cheating just comes out of nowhere, and it's even worse because the first half of a relatively short fic has pretty much nothing to do with the given premise.
Sunset and Twilight don't have any real chemistry, Sunset's whole issue with the relationship feels entirely forced, the fact that it's literally just her being clumsy that causes at all is just kind of silly, and why the heck did Pinkie do this? It just kinda makes her seem like a bad person.
I dunno, man. I think there was a lot of potential in the premise, but what actually happens just seems really unnatural and sloppy.
8745435
Oh no.... no no no! You two take that back fool!
I felt like this fic was good, but there was some unnameable “something” missing. I spent about ten minutes trying to figure out what it was before I remembered this image:
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQBYsD2WEKZ4AALiEZqnQPeg2yLvTvAP_1R7rPsaTfKp1BI_eDk
Now, and I mean this in the best possible way, this fic sort of operates as a bait and switch. Maybe it was just my reading of it, but practically everything up until Sunset’s return screams that this is going to be a Starlight/Sunset fic. They’re getting very casual, talking about going on a beach vacation, and confiding in each other about being in Twilight’s shadow. All these things (at least, in fandom culture, but that’s another story) signal a potential ship. This serves to make the moment with Pinkie all the more jarring by playing on fandom perceptions.
Bait-and-switch can work, and the story is still good the way it is, but since it’s being written for a contest, I’d like to include a few recommendations to make it run smoother. One way you could go about it is by adding a little more dialogue in the beginning to either signal that A) Pinkie has some level of jealousy or non-platonic affection or B) Pinkie isn’t quite in her right mind (a few commenters have noted that Pinkie is OOC in this fic, and cliche as it might be, you could go for the “oh no, she has straight hair today” marker and go for the darker Pinkie). Or you could have Sunset express some hesitation near the beginning, or even have Pinkie and Sunset share a short bond over something else.
Whichever way you handle it should take some of the jarring feelings out and even create some suspense in the reader (since this cheating contest is well-known, the story could leave the reader speculating about whether Pinkie or Starlight will be the other mare). Anyway, hope all this helps!
I rather enjoyed this though I would love to see how Sunset deals with this as I think it would be interesting.
I thought it was interesting that one poster commented that Twilight and Sunset have no chemistry and I agree but I took that as the point. The lack of chemistry is one of the reasons why Sunset keeps thinking she is not worthy because she feels like Twilight is slumming to be with her. On the other hand she is much more relaxed with the other characters and therefor has better chemistry. Pinkie in particular shows really well that she understands Sunset and she listens to her which is something Sunset really needed and was unable to get from Twilight (though debatably this could be due to her being afraid to try with Twilight).
I do not think that Pinkie is out of character assuming of course you are willing to allow her character to actually have these more complex feelings that the show just will not do. Pinkie in here is flawed but to me it is very believable however I think due to the context you are doing we do not get the story of what happens after which I do think would validate her actions. Pinkie definitely made a mistake and not a good one but these things happen and it gets complicated.
Sunset is flawed as well and I think she unintentionally is sabotaging her relationship partly because she is not happy with how she feels in the relationship and part of that is feeling so inferior and she subconsciously feels like she does not deserve Twilight and so acts like she does not deserve her.
Twilight sadly is not doing anything wrong but in acting so perfectly she sows the seeds of her loss. Every time she just avoids getting upset she puts herself higher on the pillar that makes Sunset upset. Sunset should have said something but I really do wonder if Twilight would really understand or would she be like me and try to solve the problem without just listening and emphasize with Sunset.
I do think you could get even more out of this though clearly it would not work as well for the contest but I do think it would be interesting to say the least.
8746306 Nope. Especially since Shin is one of the uber Sunset writers.
How fucking dare you make me upvote a story that makes me sad!
Very well written! More authors could learn from your writing style, especially on this site. We already know the characters, skip the build up and start off with a problem and let the story be working through it. I really enjoyed the ending as well, a good Nobody-Wins ending tends to feel more natural heartfelt than a happily ever after. Something something If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.
Anyway, well done!
Thanks for entering! I can't wait to read it.
I admit, i'm a huge supporter of twiset/sci-set, and this history is simply great. Sunset have insecurities about her and all she earned, and in this case in special, her relationship with princess Twilight. How do you feel if the person/pony who you most admire loves you, even afer all your mistakes? You'll feel dislocated, like you don't deserve she because you don't really forgive youself for your mistakes, and your marefriend being so compreensive only make it all worst.
Great story dude, I hope there's a sequel coming, with Sunset talking with her now former marefriend and saying how she feels, her insecurities and the fear to not being good enough for Twilight, and maybe they can hookup, or decide breakup and move on.
I get the point of this story and it is very well done, but I am really not a fan of that ending.
This story genuinely hurt my feelings
But despite that I still really enjoyed it. That ending was harsh but it kind of resonates with me.
Pinkie was a horrible individual in this. I don’t blame Sunset she was emotionally vulnerable state, so really Pinkie bares most to all the blame.
I loved this story! It was such worth reading. Great work c:
Also, I gotta say, you used my two favorite ships in one! SunLight and SunPie are life ! So I had mixed feelings about the ending. I was sad, but also kinda happy. I feel like that's so wrong of me , lol oh well.
Well, fuck.
8745435
I love Twilight x Starlight😇 but how come you think Starlight’s the better option for Twilight?
I’m sure Twilight will be fine. She has Starlight after all.