Glimmerglammer
Joined 24th Dec, 2017 ·
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Hi guys. I am new to this whole writing thing and I would love some feedback in the comments
Hmm interesting. To be a little blunt it could be better. But i am sure you will find a way to fix it. But it's not wise to rush and then use you own oc to tell the story. So I would say keep it up of course. I neither hate or like this story. But I can tell you're trying so keep it up hmm?
8661187
thanks
8661189
Still it is not wise to insult people. If you do want to make good stories here. You need to respect people and take what they say as helpful. Meaning like Bricklayer there he is being blunt and if you can't take that it's well sad. So try of course.
8661195
ok
the only thing that matters is that i try and have fun trying
8661202
Oh of course but deleting old message not a wise idea. It dosne't make you look good.
i diddnt know
8661241
if I may make a suggestion try increasing the length of the chapters to about 700 words then once you hit that with consistence then try aiming for 1000+ words in your chapters im not saying it will be easy but I think it will help you a lot
8661354
I will definitely try
8661387
all I can ask
8661389
Ok
8661389
I made a 703 word chapter this time
The new chapter is out!
Thanks to the people who still read this and my fans! without you, i would have stopped writing! thank you again!
Expect another new Chapter sometime today!
Do you guys like the Chapter. sorry if its bad.
to my fans. the next chapter is about eqg!
8663129
but not about any eqg shorts or eqg movies or eqg episodes
I have to say it is a bit cliche, the fact that the character is not only an alicorn but also lives with Twilight and is going through the events of the movie.
Personally I would suggest trying to expand upon the festival. What does Space Star do at the festival, is she just standing around waiting for something to happen or does she participate? Does she eat cake? Does she even like cake? Filling in information like this will help extend your word count. When it comes to a new character people want details, and people want to see them doing stuff.
Also since this is an alternate universe I do suggest having events unfold differently then they did in the movie (which you may have already done, I just don't know since I've only read this first chapter).
I hope this feedback helps.
8664608
Honestly she isn’t anymore
who is reading the 10th chapter before it is released
The new chapter is out!
I look at the description and right off the bat I’m rolling my eyes. I see the word count and I wonder “is anything even happening in the chapters?”
As someone who loves reading AND writing, this story worries me by those factors alone. I’d strongly suggest looking up the term Mary Sue, why it’s not appreciated by most people(biggest thing I can quickly offer is it gets boring when a character is so perfect nothing goes wrong), and while I don’t suggest reading it, look up the controversy surrounding the story My Immortal(quick note again, character is introduced as overly powerful and perfect so there is no room for the character to develop). I’ll read it after I finish sleeping, but this story raises several flags. The only thing that offers me a Glimmer of hope(ha!) is that as your first story you could legitimately be trying to improve. Just...the minimum word count isn’t there to stifle you. It’s to stop you from spamming micro-chapters that lend nothing to the story. Something that ends up frustrating readers and leading to that lightsaber of a like bar to head to the dark-side.
8664891
If it’s one or two, the viewer-count takes you into consideration. If you’re looking at it, the viewer count will be 1-2 depending on how many tabs you have it in. I personally tend to keep two open during writing so I have one as my text editor and one showing me how it looks as a finished product.
8665173
I am going through and editing all of the chapters right now. I just finished editing chapter one.
Details, mate. Details. Show, don't tell. What are the characters feeling? Why do they feel this way? Add onomatopoeia to the noises and actions they do. You, young cricket, have a long way to go before you reach a writing master.
8665206
ok. I'm updating every chapter at the moment. so, I will eventually update chapter 5. which I will take your feedback into consideration when I do update chapter.
I got 44 fans now
This is... uhh... "cute" in a good way. Nice click bate picture. Nothing can express how proud I am of you. My stories are very bad ja.
Everyone will agree on that. I get very lazy comments can make or break. Don't stop no brudda.
8665301
I will read your story.
8664608
your feedback really helped!
So they scared of Capper or they run away in next chapter? Capper a damn king pin in this chapter
8661241
Learning just like a real cartoon pony! So cute my heart hurts bro! I wish I could wright cute for kid characters! (Still seeing you triggered would have been funny)
[I'm a bad person]
{Sad Violin}
8665352
I enjoy the feedback. I will be back on in 1 hour
Why does this story have so many dislikes? I mean, it can't be that bad, right? ...Right?
8665991
It’s not bad.
Liked the easter eggs. (Made me smile)