Never the Final Word (Vol. 2)

by FanOfMostEverything

FoME's Outshining Flash (Jordan179's "Analyzing Some Suggested Ships")

Author's Note:

[Comedy][FlashLight]

This was a response to Jordan179's blog "Analyzing Some Suggested Ships." (936 words, no tags)

BLOG SYNOPSIS: An analysis of how the Mane Six's parents (or other guardian figures) might react to six potential romantic partners mentioned in a group thread, as seen through the lens of Jordan's personal semi-alternate universe. In one of them, Twilight/EqG!Flash Sentry, Jordan notes that it's not clear how her parents would react to the news that their daughter's new beau was actually a balding ape from another timeline.

"... and that's the story."

Twilight Velvet and Night Light traded a look. "That's... certainly interesting, Sparkle," said Night Light.

"Especially the time-space magic involved," added Velvet.

"Yes, especially that. But... well, you don't have to outdo your brother with everything."

Twilight had plotted out every conceivable reaction her parents might have had to the news of her boyfriend being... well, a boy, and had planned her responses accordingly. That hadn't been one of them, and so all she could say was "Huh?"

"The pattern's plain to see, dear," said Night Light. "Your brother gets into West Hoof a year early, you become Celestia's personal student. He becomes Captain of the Guard, you become the Bearer of Magic. He marries an alicorn, you become an alicorn."

"I... But... I'm not trying to—"

Velvet raised a hoof. "It's okay, dear. Your major achievements don't have to upend Equestria as we know it. You're allowed to fall for a nice stallion without any fanfare, ancient evils, or alternate dimensions."

"But I—" Sparkle cut herself off as a wing jerkily spread across her withers.

"Let's go with it," Flash whispered to her. "Unless you want to explain the wireless router you set up next to the portal."

Twilight felt herself flush. "You're the one who missed Webflix."

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[horizon]

"Honey," Flash said, "we need to talk," and Twilight's heart squeezed into a cold little ball. Which didn't un-knot any when he added, "About what your parents said."

"I do love you," she said desperately. "This was never about outdoing Shiny."

He brushed her cheek with a hoof and gazed into her eyes with a smile. "I believe you," he said softly.

Twilight let out a breath. "But."

"I believe you about the love." He bit his lip, then pressed on. "I even believe this isn't a conscious thing. But we need to face facts. Your parents were right. You're a one-mare outdoing engine."

"That's not true!" Twilight said. "Maybe it looks that way, but --"

"Twilight," Flash said, "I asked Shining Armor to falsely announce he'd created a ponio vaccine. Two days later you'd submitted a paper to a biochemical journal with a working cure for cancer."

Twilight opened and closed her mouth. Tears brimmed at the corner of her eyes.

Flash grinned and nuzzled her neck. "Don't cry, silly. That. Is. Awesome."

"... What," Twilight said, all other words having temporarily fled.

"Don't you see? We just proved we can use this. The last thing we want is for you to stop."

"B-but, but, I'm hurting him --"

Flash gently pressed fingers to her lips. "Are you kidding? Shiny's thrilled. 'Not only is my life amazing beyond belief,' he said, 'but I've got a sister who can fix the world's problems on command.' And as for me? I can't think of a bigger honor than to be that mare's special someboy."

Twilight laughed despite herself, and lunged into Flash's waiting arms, clinging to him until her emotions settled.

"What next?" she finally asked.

"Cadance sent him to broker a cease-fire in the Orlov-Lipizzian war," Flash said. "Next stop, world peace."