This is my own HIE story. It's mostly about me in Equestria after a horrible problem. Also My First FanFic
Rated Teen for blood, violence, mild adult humor, and language.
Story takes place after season 2 but not season after that.
And while this is my first fic I already know it's not the best. So please don't just insult me just cause of that.
And finally this story is not getting a sequel. Sorry everyone.
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One Idea: Make the chapters longer or merge all the current chapters into one.
Kind of cliched, the whole wish upon a star and WHOOSH your in a Equestria. Then again, I'm making a HiE fic right now so I guess i'm not one to entirely criticize.
I would read this fan-fic right now but it's 2:37 AM and all good little fillies must go to sleep.
Eventually.
865098 it's just the name of the story. the wish didn't really put me into Equestria. It's the shooting star that made a cosmic wormhole is the reason i'm in Equestria. also pretty much the main part for this story is that even some impossible wishes came come true if you just try.864899 not my style. besides i was also having a hard time try to make all chapters long but wouldn't you know it writer's block can be a bitch. also this story is gonna be long. i was trying to post up 20 chapters but if my imagination keeps on going like this for the story it may be even longer
Yeesh. Badly written with a lot of grammar errors and an uninteresting plotline does not a good story make
I suggest getting a proofreader or editor to help you a bit. I can tell it's your first time and there's at least SOMETHING here so...build on that.
Good luck for the future
865939 well excuse me! i as i said in the description i have aspergers so that tends to throw me off from having grammar. and i already have someone proofreading this. otherwise i wouldn't have uploaded it.
865949 Thank you finally somebody who appreciates my story. new chapters will be uploaded soon. but i can only upload 1 on fridays and saturdays. cause i gotta go to work on those days at 5 but i'll be back on at 9.
You lazy bum! you wouldn't help poor little Fluttershy in her garden after she carried you to her house and patched you up? You should be ashamed of yourself mister!
866045 Sounds like my schedule, just add a few more hours!
Your story shows promise. Just keep at it, you'll get better.
866627 she was pretty much telling me that i should stay in bed. I wasn't ready to get up yet. so she decided to give me a reason to sit back down. next time read CAREFULLY before posting a comment.
Just finished reading it! The CMC can be a crafty little group.
867051 hehe. thanks i sorta got the idea from when i read one of my fav fanfics i have. don't judge me about it though.
867061 Which one would that be?
867073 it from the fanfic by cyber5555 called "Surprise"
867123 Cool. I'll have to check it out.
867061 you did great as allways
865712 Then I guess 1,000+ words is a reasonable chapter.
867323 thanks for the support
869264 I meant a reasonable amount of words. I'm okay with that, but now your telling me to shut up?
Oh well...
869416 *Sigh* sorry i shouldn't have done that. had hard day at work and all. i shouldn't have took it out on ya. As i said in the beginning of the story which is a true event. i have a hard time trusting people so i sometimes lash out in defense. i dont mean to.it's just reflex. since i also have aspergers i don't have a decent vocabulary. which is why the story is written this way. so please give it a chance. it's my first fanfic and i'm just a bit nervous on how people treat my work.
Its first person pov in this chapter not second person. First person uses "I", "me" and "we". Second person uses "you".
871898 my bad. i'll get right to that as soon as possible. Done.
871898 but besides all that what do you think of my story so far?
872112 geez. all i asked was what you thought about my story. i didn't every minor detail about this and other stories. and this is actually how i would feel if i was sent there. not all stories are the same mine is has a few parts in it that would look exactly like a few others but this is how i wrote it. most of the story that's about me and my past are all true. except the email and phone call that was the only fake part i made for my character WHICH is based off of me. and again this is my first fanfic. i'm not the type of person who writes for a life. so of course there'll be a few problems. but as long as people are supporting me and accepting on what i write and how much fun i'm making of writing this then i don't care what goes on with it.
872131 I am not here to judge what happened in your life and how many fanfictions you have written. I am here to tell you how your story is. Perhaps my professional editing mode kicked in and I accidentally tore into your fiction a bit too harshly. I am sorry for that.
I am also not saying that you story is exactly like other stories, but, many stories use elements similar to yours. To me, who reads this genre semi-frequently, it just seems very similar to others.
P.S. I like Three Days Grace as well.
872157 it's ok. and i understand why other readers will think that way too. but i decided months ago what this was going to be about. i planned this for weeks to make sure they can understand it. i also decided that i wanted the readers to relate to the main character so that tehy can finally see what would happen even if it's not them at all.
872183 I understand. I have edited many works and can really tell that you are putting your heart and soul into your work. Your work really does represent you. Keep writing.
872131 well said man good chapter as allways
872201 thanks.
872204 thank you
872212 No problem.
872215 anytime
It never gets boring with RD around.
872392 yeah.
872218 hey i would like to tell ya more on what going to happen. i'm going to try my best not to spoil the story though. my character will have a few fights. the only other ponies that will appear are Vinyl Scratch, The Princesses, Cadance, and Shining Armor. So no Derpy. And yes Queen Chrysalis and Discord will be in it too.
874785 Good job not using Derpy (rarely do people use the character well, mostly she is just a flat character). I am assuming that you are going to the royal wedding due to the characters that you are using. But wait, the wedding has been over (you said that this is after the series). Now you got me interested.
878343 yes i will be using Shining Armor and Cadance but you may not see them until like three more chapters. then you'll see what in have in store for them
I don't mean to nitpck, but descriptions are for descriptions, not walls of text.
879473 i did that cause i like to be cautious. just incase someone even tried it. again my story my rules.
i think i know what fluttershy is doin shes gonna get some of her big animals to scare them
882122 we may never know.
They're going in Fluttershy's shed.
883377
fuck
883454t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRXSTmMCH23gsMwSKo5S37NfdZdQC_fAHP9zQnKG7GGS1EkuSptAsbymREj9Q
883661
Wow, Christmas at Halloween. I might have to try that this year! That would throw everyone off.
884520 hehe. thanks. i really didn't want to wait for those holidays to start up so that way it can be on it's actual date so i decided to put up all of them in one go.
The F1-80 is a car
. I think you mean a F-14 or a F-18.