- Member Since 24th Sep, 2014
- offline last seen March 28th
Wandering Pigeon
I came here to eat breadcrumbs and indiscriminately shit on cars. And I'm all out of breadcrumbs...
Wandering Pigeon
Joined 24th Sep, 2014 ·
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Really good. Now if only Rarity can see her like this
8038098 That would be pretty great
But I have other ideas for this story.
I'm loving this so far. When can we expect to see part 2?
8038219 hopefully soon. I'm about 3.2k words deep in the next chapter, which is shaping up to be even longer than this one.
This was really cute! While I would prefer Coco in this situation, I still enjoyed this!
8038339 She would be cute in diapers, wouldn't she? For me though, I just like a little karmactic retribution every now and again.
8038358 Yes, she would, and I understand where you're coming from. Suri deserves this after what she did to Rarity.
As expected, this is adorable and also well written. I love Suri's detailed thought process and reaction to every embarrassing act. But let me guess, Photo Finish is going to want some used diaper photos isn't she?
8038489 Will she or won't she? I can'd divulge that information just yet.
Sorry, but you'll need to wait for chapter two.
Haha, karma! Ain't it a b**tch, huh Suri?
8038489 Oh yes, considering Photo Finish really wants the most out of her model, I'm sure she's gonna want a couple of wet and messy shots for the clients who really want them.
8038570 That it is.
Ah ha ha ha!
I'm liking this quite a bit!
But Coco Pommel as an adult foal photoshoot assistant is a new one. She's usually the adult foal.
On a side note,
Since Suri is the one talking do you mean "they weren't foal clothes"?
8039318 Nice catch. Thanks for that one.
And I'm glad you're enjoying it so far. Hopefully the laughs keep coming.
I'm betting that Photo Finish will either:
A. Force Suri to wet/mess her diaper.
B. Suri will wet/mess herself and we'll have a scene of Coco changing her (I'm hoping for this).
C. A combination of both.
8040819 I'm afraid I can't confirm or deny if you're on the right track, but I will say that you'll learn soon enough what happens. Maybe not today, seeing as I'm now around 6k into chapter two and still have a lot to write, but for sure sometime this week you'll get your answer.
8040891 I look forward to seeing how this story unfolds over the next couple of days.
i think coco deserves some revenge for how suri treated her
8040898 Which is why I'm hoping there's a moment of Suri messing herself and having Coco change her diaper.
Perhabs Photo Finish would find a picture of Suri in the act of using her diaper perfect.
It this only a two part story? Would that explain why Chapter 2 is so long?
8041236 I'm hoping to wrap up the story with two chapters. Should it end up getting too long I'll bring in a third to round it out.
8040946 Plenty of people are hoping for that so far. Certainly would go a long way in humiliating Suri, wouldn't it?
8040898 That's precisely why she gets a front row seat to the world's most demeaning photoshoot. Rarity'll be so jealous.
So, Chapter 2 is apparently over 6,000 words long? Hopefully, that means it will be juicy when it comes out later today.
8041387 That's the idea
8041401 I guess we'll find out what happens next in a couple of minutes.
8041402 'Fraid it's not coming in the next few minutes. I've been knocking out paragraphs for most of the day, but the chapter still isn't close to completion. We're standing at about 7.5k words roughly if you want to know, and it'll probably go for much more. Sorry, but it's looking like Wednesday at the earliest.
8041431That's fine. If anything, it must be really good if it's this long and elaborate.
Are you any closer to being finished?
8043460 Thankfully yes. Expect chapter two in a few hours at most.
8043505 Great. I look forward to seeing just how bad things get for poor suri. And maybe we'll find out why this story earned a Mature tag.
Suri just gets deeper and deeper into it doesn't she?
8043684 Oh yeah she does. But that catalogue is gonna turn out great because of it.
So, part 3 will be up by tomorrow, right?
8043741 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I can't make any promises this early. I got a couple thousand words already that I had been writing before I decided to truncate this chapter. I can't say for sure if they'll be enough to make it in time. I will try, though.
But surely the amount of humiliated Suri right now can tide you over til then.
8043757 Of course. Still I'm wondering how Suri's situation can get any worse.
The humilation is getting better and better. Now I wonder how long until Photo Finish requests some wet and messy shots, considering the client has wanted everything else under the sun.
8043887 You'll have to see once I'm done with part three.
I actually feel kind of bad for her haha. Nice job though on her embarrassment.
8044189 Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far.
8043527 could be materbafiom but that would getcit a seed tag. So probably heavy messing or something
I like the writing style
Ok. This is easily one of the best padded pony fics. PERIOD.
8044608 Thanks, I'm glad you like it so far.
8045038 Aww, you flatter me.
8044608 It could just have gotten the mature rating for being an adult foal story.
I'd say that in terms of writing and plot (the real kind of story plot, mind you), this is your best work yet. However, I can't help but notice the typos in it, which have gotten worse in the second chapter; there are multiple sentences that literally end halfway through and then move onto the next paragraph.
I imagine these were areas where you were stuck on how to transition to the next paragraph and decided to maintain momentum and come back to them later. However, failing to proofread and catch these rather obvious mistakes is unimpressive, to say the least.
I certainly look forward to the next chapter, but I also hope you take it a little bit slower and make sure your story is given the polish it deserves.
8046342 A fair assessment. You are right in that I did skip lines in order to keep momentum like that. It probably isn't the best way to write, and I acknowledge that, but it's always been one of the easier ways for me.
The longer the chapter got, the easier it was for those errors to slip by unnoticed when I went back to add to them. I'm going through right now to fix both this chapter and chapter one, and I'll give three a once-over as well just to be on the safe side.
Hopefully in the future, I can tone down this way of writing to minimize this from happening again.
Huh, that was a development I didn't expect from either Suri or Coco. You managed to subvert my expectations good sir, bravo.
8046571 Glad I could! I had a blast writing that part in particular... amongst all the other stuff.
Huh.
Didn't expect them to to reconcile.
Also, why is Suri talking foalishly at the end after Coco meets her?
The ending was satisfying ns nicely done. Embassment is nice to read but even that humiliation Suri didn't need :) good job I liked it
It's a very strong ending, and one that bucks (huehue) the usual trend of something like revenge porn. Alas, errors abounded again, although nothing quite as egregious as the mid-sentence cutoffs last chapter.
Another enjoyable addition from you, and I certainly look forward to your next story. Just... Take it a little slower, eh?