Queer trans woman, writes stories about queer trans horses
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Argent Sword is a 26-year-old unicorn stallion, or so everyone tells him. Personally, he's not too sure, and he's willing to go pretty far out of his way to prove everyone wrong.
A story about gender, self-actualisation, and a few stolen library books.
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Cute. It has it's weird parts, like the whole "Alicorn OC" taboo, though it was done well enough that I could ignore it. Wish I could say more, but I enjoyed it, and it was pretty well written.
Transition overachievement ftw!
Now I wonder what she'll be declared the princess of...?
Your story is good and well written. If I had to pick one thing that I didn't like, that would be how you skipped from one scene to another. There were very many things that you could have added to make the story more thrilling. Instead, you focused on the most basic parts.
Which must have reduced the time to write everything (which I totally understand, since I too have issues to deal with time).
Still, I can feel that there is so much more that could be added. Especially with how things turn out to be, it's kind of a waste to label this story completed.
Man, I read this ten minutes ago and I already have an idea for a sequel.
Love the story, but it feels a little... short?
Would love to see the father's reaction to his 'son' being a princess.
Please for the love of Luna write a sequel to this.
Huh ... now how, given all that we've established about how difficult alicorn ascension is, could Autumn possibly have pulled this off? Written instructions notwithstanding, I think we need a little more to believe that. More of this story!
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Don't we kind of already know how he's going to react, though?
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I addressed Similar in my story (not advertising here). A Jackass father who disapproves of a cutie mark like this wouldn't accept a daughter, princess or no. I just want to see him get is comeuppance
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I'm not so sure, honestly. I have no doubt that he won't really accept Autumn, but I think he may be inclined to put up a front in the face of her new title. There would surely be benefits of having a royal daughter, and there may well be repercussions in not accepting a royal daughter. Of course, I'm by no means saying it's a good thing he'd put up the front, just saying he'd have a lot of reason to hide his contempt.
Honestly, that wouldn't be a bad thing to explore in a sequel if one is ever made. Plenty of room for drama there
I liked this little foray into Autumn's life. I would love to see more if you have it in you to make a sequel. Great job. Also I didn't notice any editing mistakes so bonus points though I suck at editing so maybe I just missed them.
I loved it so so so so so so much
Delightful. I was pointed over here by Krickis, and also linked you to a discord group I am in. waves to Cross
Firstly, an interesting take on the problem, and I can certainly see the struggle of the mare, as she tried to find any way she could to make her body match herself. She saw a target and threw everything at it. Mechanically well written (I had to really hunt to find the two typos I found) although the story could do with some filling out.
I heard you have written before, and it shows, but it would be nice to see a little bit more "everypony" around (not a major gripe).
~~~~~+++++~~~~~
Her Lunar Highness
("Majesty" is a title for queens and kings)
called me ‘she,’ ” I mumbled.
(periods and commas always go into the deepest set of adjoining quote marks.
Also, a few British-English spellings, I saw an "armour" in there, and as somepony who learned that way first myself, it takes a lot of work to stop doing so.
I like Autumn's character and I'm looking forward to a sequal!
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lolI just had to check which mistakes were left, and, well...
But in a world ruled by princesses, it could be argued that Majesty is appropriate. This is more an example of adapting real-world customs and terminology to how they'd logically be used in Equestrian society.
This is only true for American English. In British English, periods and commas can go outside of quotation marks if it is appropriate, just like question marks and exclamation marks. Because the phrase being highlighted is 'she' and not 'she,' it is more appropriate by British standards to put the comma outside the single quotation mark. Any publisher/editor will just go with their preference (likely sticking with the standards of the region), but online, British and American English often crossover and combine. In this instance, I would argue for the British convention because it just makes a lot more sense to me.
As for any of the British spellings of words... I just missed those
7899786 You will note in the show, princesses are always "Your Highness" and the only "Majesty" that ever gets used is for Chryssibug, Nightmare Moon, and Sombra. There is one scene where Celestia is called "Your Majesty" by the Cakes, and it is only because they are really flustered; Celestia is in a really playful mood, and pranks them, ignoring the insult.
And yes, British English is very different, I know this because that is what I was taught first (Australian). The whole story is, however, written in American English. ALL the punctuation is in American English. This should be too. You should never just mix and match such.
If it was meant to be British English, I will have to spend a few hours with the red pen (for example, invert ALL the double quotes/single quotes, British English uses those in reverse to American).
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You didn't miss them, I left them in on purpose
I use British spelling everywhere else, and I didn't see a style guide in the submission guidelines. The Elements of Style would probably not be as interesting as the Elements or Harmony, but maybe there's a niche to be filled there.
>>
7899796 don't make me get out my Oxford Canadian Dictionary! That's the real reason I use American-style punctuation but British spelling, Canadian English is a horrible mismatch of the two ?
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Fair enough, I yield you're correct here.
And yet I do it all the time
In this instance, the American style makes less sense. To my understanding (although I admit I didn't fully understand this explanation), the American style of commas and periods always being inside the quotation marks came about because of a quirk in typewriters that would otherwise cause the small periods or commas to not stick to the paper. Or something. Like I said, I really didn't understand the explanation. But the point is that once upon a time, both American and British English followed the British convention, until Americans got used to the typewriter way of doing it and just stuck with that. There is no logical reasoning behind the American way, so I personally reject it. Again, if this were up for publication in a physical book, they would certainly do as they pleased and damn the opinion of the author, but at least for me, I'll go with whichever format makes the most sense (and default to American when they make equal sense).
As a good example of why the internet is causing the American-British divide to disappear, some British English publications have adopted the American style here, as many non-English speaking European countries already followed the American style and more there's increased exposure to how other cultures write. I'm the end, what most people use becomes what is grammatically correct, which is exactly why I prefer to use what makes sense, regardless of country of origin.
7899832 Oh, didn't realize that. Here in Australia-land, we typically use British English for spelling and punctuation.
'I wouldn’t try that just yet', came a tired voice from the other side of the room. 'Can I grab you something?'
Would be an example of British English punctuation.
If you want a good book on American English grammar and punctuation, I recommend the Blue Book, which is online!
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Good, because I would really like to read a sequel on this. If the author allows it.
Okay, question: How did Autumn Argent Sword become an alicorn? By casting some really hard spell? Thought there was something more to than that. Assuming alicorn-hood requires something more. Unless this was a accident or is temporally thing or the spell was really just a sex change spell that was never attempted before that went... well. Excuse me for a bit. Did Big Mac want to be an alicorn or just want a sex change. The whole sister hoof social ep thing makes me wonder. Then we Flurry Heart being born as a alicorn - off topic. So much off topic!
*beats head canon upside the head with a two by four*
Needed that. My still head hurts though. Just not as much.
Your name, stillinbeta, is fitting on a couple plus one levels. See the potential of your writing. Keep beating out the words to grow this skill.
This story may be short, but that doesn't take away from how good it is at all! I really liked Autumn and the usage of first person! The story and premise was super cool too! In particular, the whole idea of becoming an alicorn to transition was really clever, and I really liked the portrayal of dysphoria through her interactions with other ponies. As a trans woman myself, the story really resonated with me and a lot of what happens in the story really hit home and I just want you to know how much I appreciate that (I was really emotional for pretty much the entire story omg). All in all, it was really super great! Thank you for taking the time to put it together!!!
"They said I could become anything, so I became a Princess!"
I am intrigued by the idea that anypony could achieve alicornhood (at least with the help of one of multiple capable unicorns) if they just took the time to look it up in some obscure book, but nopony except Autumn does this because they are too lazy to do the research. Of course, since the book is new and in the restricted section, we wouldn't know how that changes in the future. You could expand on this a lot if you wanted to.
Anyway, nice story, I enjoyed it.
I came here via Graph Theory, which is why I'm finding this story well after the fact. It's very nice, with probably the best part being Luna's complete and utter acceptance.
So, I know the comments I'm responding to are from January and February, but I have THOUGHTS. I am Chris The Cynic of the extremely late reply, apparently.
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This is my take:
Autumn was very nervous about meeting Princess Celestia, which was only compounded by the fact that she wasn't sure exactly what she was meeting her about. She'd only been told something vague about important issues that require immediate action.
When she arrived, Celestia was having tea and invited Autumn to join her. A few awkward moments after that was done, Celestia asked, "Your accession, or rather the details surrounding it, has created a problem that needs to be addressed. Do you know what that is?"
"That somepony was using her position as archivist to access, and even remove books from, the restricted section?" Autumn asked with thoughts of her punishment clear in her mind.
"That will need to be dealt with eventually, but I have yet to decide how," Princess Celestia said with total calm. No hint of threat at all. "No, I was speaking of your title."
That was a shock: "My title?"
"Yes," Celestia said, "It's clear enough what you are princess of, however how to properly phrase it eludes me. 'Autumn, Princess of Achieving the Impossible, Fulfillment, and/or Harmony with One's True Self Through Lengthy and Laborious Study,' is somewhat more verbose than one's title should be. We can't very well announce you to Equestria as, 'Princess of that thing we never say because it's too long.'
-
In other words, I see her Alicornifying achievement not merely as the final casting of the spell, but instead the entire project that culminated in casting the spell. She ascended because she took an essentially impossible goal, studied and diligenced the crap out of it, and then pulled it off.
So we can see her as patron of ponies who use hard work and study to attempt the nigh impossible, to achieve fulfillment, or become who they were meant to be (the CMC could have used Princess Autumn.) Maybe dedicated scholars more generally, but it's important to note that all that study and effort was going toward a fixed goal. Knowledge for it's own sake wouldn't be under her purview.
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Autumn, the Princess of Self-Actualization!
or
Autumn, the Princess of Perseverance!
I guess you have a point, though I haven't reread this in a while.
This story feels like it could have been significantly longer. I liked what I read and the theme, but it just didn't feel explored enough. Especially the parents' involvement, since it's indicated their presence had a big impact on the protagonist and their issues in the first place. Plus, if a mom carries an unconscious unknown alicorn to a hospital, she deserves more screentime!
What a warm, reassuring story! I especially liked the role that Luna played. Something that's long interested me, but is seldom addressed, is what it must be like for Ponies to meet her, knowing that she's seen their dreams, knows their hidden desires, and quite possibly understands them better than they do themselves.
I love this story!
Oof, poor gal..
Luna is such a good horse and I'm glad she's there for Autumn.
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Hi Griseus! Do you suppose I'm more of a thief or a rogue? Also, light or time?
9557242 Holy shit. I was looking at this story again today. You're more of rogue, time. But I would write you as an alicorn traped in EQO fighting to stop other ponies trying to mess with the programing of CelestAI during the 9th loop. If that doesn't sound too crazy.
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Thank you.
Well that was unexpected. Let's see where it goes.
Spellcasting under thr influence... Hope she survives.
Short and kinda sweet.
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Will there ever be a sequel?
This made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, great job!