It was supposed to be simple. Coco would head to the Crystal Empire, design some new uniforms, collect a paycheck and head back home. But a few wrong turns in a confusing castle led her to a place she’d never even imagined. And after a few chance encounters with some very attractive mares, she’s not so sure she wants to leave.
Cover art by Robin Daydream, proofreading and moral support by GaraTheAuthor. Inspired by Alex Zandra's light novels.
Sex tag for references and innuendo. Check the rating, folks, this isn't a clopfic.
Chapters (11)
Why do people hide the likes/dislikes bar?
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The bar is hidden by default until it has recieved 10+ votes. This is to help brand new stories get unbiased voting. When there are only two votes and both are positive or negative, people tend to get influenced by that and a third vote agreeing with them snowballs the effect to the 4th and so on. With hidden voting until ten, then that effect is reduced.
You might want to consider changing the story to incomplete until you have all the chapters otherwise people could get confused and think the story just ends at a random point. Like I did after reading chapter 4.
9556425
oops, fixed! Thank you!
None can resist the allure of Hatbutt Waifubait!
In all seriousness, this looks like it's going to be a hilarious comedy of errors. Looking forward to more. Though I do find myself wondering what Shining thinks of the royal harem...
This is absolutely delightful. Everyone and everything is completely adorable, and it's taken all my resolve not to melt into a happy puddle of goop just reading this. I was especially delighted by the fact that Coco has named her plants!
I do love a good warm Coco and this one is very warm. Waiting for more
Tbh I really dislike the whole "Oh no, i am here by accident" trope when the person is clearly uncomfortable and no one seems to notice, dunno if it's because of my empathy with the person or out of my usual general distaste with the world, so I kinda hope that this is not the whole story but just the introduction. But it's not bad, so that's something
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It works here, because only our POV knows why she was supposed to be here. A new addition to the harem would in fact potentially be very shy and reserved at first. They've probably been through exactly this with some of the others as they joined. That's why Sapphire is so quick to mention and repeat "You're not here to do anything that you don't want to do."
Of course... it speaks volumes when it comes from a Crystal Pony, as she was very likely a slave at the least, and if she was part of Sombra's harem... Well, best to leave it there.
In any case... there's no reason at all that Coco can't be a seamstress in addition to being a member of this little harem. Fashionista's do have downtime as well, after all.
I have to wonder how repressed she would have to be to continue to go with the flow despite mentally screaming to the contrary.
What even is this anime-esque title?
(not that I'm complaining this fanfic is really good oh crap they're reading this quick everybody run the homecoming queen's got a gun)
Is this not an insult to Shining?
Coco continues to shoot herself in the hoof, but is adorable while doing so, the fic.
...I don't get it. Why hasn't she just said there's been a mistake?
While this is adorable and amusing...seriously, why doesn't she just speak up already?
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You're assuming he doesn't come around on his own.
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Being shy and scared of rejection is serious business, yo.
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It's an homage to Alex Zandra's light novel series!
That ending line...
Agh! You get a mustache already!
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She's too timid, I guess.
Like Fluttershy, but almost worse, it seems..
So far this is really good! Can't wait to see where it goes!
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Emphasis on "tried" I take it
Congratz, ya got featured.
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Same reason this guy didn't in 2006
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I don't seem to remember Coco being more timid than Fluttershy. Surely even Fluttershy would have said something by now...I think...
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Dammit, now I want to take a look at those...
This is adorable and I need more.
So how long before Cadance finds out I wonder? When Rarity doesn't show, Cadance is bound to write, and find out Rarity sent Coco. This of course assuming she doesn't already know. ;)
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Why would it be an insult to Shining? The Harem is left over from King Sombra, and Cadance couln't just throw them all out. Whether or not Shiny is expected to perform the "Kingly" duties is yet to be seen.
Should've been paying attention there Coco...
The hilarity, it is going to ensue.
Ten bits says Cadence knows all about Coco from her spa dates with Rarity, since Rarity is absolutely the type to give her employees glowing praise to people who may be able to help them, and is also a huge gossip.
Cadence is, of course, 100% on board with Coco's 'decision' to join the harem.
Did you mean two days from the 7th, or two days from when you published it on the ninth?
askideas.com/media/73/Gentlemen-you-had-my-curiosity%E2%80%A6-but-now-you-have-my-attention.jpg
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Huh, that's a fun edge case. I meant from when I published the story, next chapter goes live tomorrow.
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Good to know.
Ooh, a Coco crackship I haven’t seen yet! I’ll have to add this to my RiL!
You know I just realized, they were expecting a new girl... What actually happened to her?
Heh, she wanted to be faithful to a married mare. That's adorable.
i
like this story so far. Keep it Up!
Aw, I like that she has morals!
It’s a good touch..
That was a very sweet story. Way to go.
In my personal opinion, this story has a very cliché setup that's gonna be a liar revealed story. However, I'm still gonna follow it because of how adorable the characters are. If I were you writing this, I'd shake up the formula somewhat like say... Cadence puts together quickly that Coco wasn't meant to be in the harem or that Coco just accidently revealed the truth nearly right away but Cadence doesn't mind and still wants for them to actually get to know each other.
Now I'm not saying that a cliched story can't be entertaining, after all, if it wasn't, I wouldn't be bothered to track it. All I'm saying that if you play your cards right, this has the potential of becoming not just an adorable and entertaining (which you've already achieved) story, but a compelling one too. Here's to see where this story goes.
Dis gonna be gud.
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I second this motion.
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I said it before, I'll say it again: There is ZERO chance Rarity hasn't told Cadence all about Coco.
Cadence knows exactly what's going on, and just finds it adorable.
Coco is getting closer to a Sparkle to be sure,
At least Coco isn't Twilighting. As in, being loud about it.
This is going to end in a story that everypony will look back on and laugh.
Eventually.
Not sure what could happen in between now and then; I suppose we'll find out.
I keep dying of sympathy anxiety