- Member Since 2nd Jul, 2016
- offline last seen Jul 26th, 2021
Kind of Anonymous
Just a failed author who spends way too much time thinking and writing about the anatomy of magical, talking equines. For fun.
Kind of Anonymous
Joined 2nd Jul, 2016 ·
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Oh dear... I do wonder what would happen if they ever did get noticed. I assume they'd look like any other ant to the untrained eye.
Don't you mean tale?
Hmm, that second story perfectly matches my interests, at least until the bleak ending. Still, both have a lot of description, good setup, and some nice word choices. All in all, a good read.
This story is great! Although, the first chapter could have been longer...Also, do you take suggestions on next chapters? :-)
Extremely small size and unaware aren't precisely my thing, but the writing is very good. Tracked and looking forward to future updates.
7361420
Tail was meant as a pun, so it was all very intentional. Nice catch, though.
7361467
Thank you for the compliments. The chapters, I'm afraid, will often have bleak endings. I highly doubt being as small as the humans are in this story would be good for the longevity of life in any event, but I can promise that not every chapter will end on such a dismal note.
7361857
Thank you. I wanted the chapter to be longer, but ultimately I decided it wasn't worth it to add unnecessary fluff to what was meant as a simple introduction. As for your question, I was planning on working something out later on down the line in regards to requests and suggestions. I'm kind of particular about how I take them these days. If you're willing to just give me the idea and let me work out the details in my own creative process, I'm much more likely to accept a request than if you tried to give me a rundown of what you want.
7362354
The basic idea is that the super tiny humans are lost inside a mane of somepony, Cadance for example, but to them, it is huge and filthy jungle :D
7362354
Heh, well, hope it keeps going then. Oh, and if you're up for it, can I suggest a scene with the Wonderbolts and some unaware hayburger vore?
7362354
If you're currently willing to take suggestions, an interesting idea at some point might be humans finally getting the attention of a filly/colt with a magnifying glass, only for the assumption that they're just regular ants. And what else would some bored kid do with a magnifying glass and ants?
7362354 Honestly, from the way this story is going, I don't see a chapter not ending dismally. Heck they'd be far better off if the rest of physics kicked in, at least they'd die without too much pain. After all, our bodies at that size wouldn't even be able to process air, let alone the pressure would cause us to inflate and explode upon exposure too it because it would be like stepping onto the moon in a t-shirt and shorts, that or maybe I'm mixed up and the gravimetric force would just crush them outright, either way the ponies would just find strange red dots all over the place which upon testing would of course allow them to figure out the rest of that story.
If we're going to apply real world physics to this, then not only would they be too small to process oxygen, they'd be too small for regulate their own temperature and would freeze to death; of course, this wouldn't matter in the slightest to them because at that point the substantial size difference in their brain would effectively leave them brain dead. Which makes the matter of eating--something they would need to do almost ever minute of every day--even more impossible.
For specifics, there are two different scenarios here that need to be brought up; is the space between atoms being removed from the body so that the new size is possible, or are they being shrunk down? If they're being removed, than Humankind would be so dense they would sink into the ground and asphyxiate, as well as the whole freezing, eating, and brain death I mentioned above. Then there would be little holes everywhere.
If the atoms are being shrunk, the body would simply stop working altogether. I don't know enough to say if it would explode or not, but the outcome would be fatal regardless. They came to Equestria via Magic, so perhaps they didn't shrink at all and the universe that Equus belongs in just that much more substantial. Or maybe they did shrink, and the magic is what made their survival possible.
But I can promise that there would be no little red dots for the ponies to find. Even if they did explode, there wouldn't be enough left inside them to leave any evidence of their existence. And, assuming there was, the world is such a busy place that their remains wouldn't stay put for long.
I find it best not to apply too much real world physics in these kinds of scenarios; too many variables and unknowns to take into account that would likely fill several chapters up by themselves.
As I mentioned in my last reply not every chapter will end in death. Many of them will, because the world would not play fair in such a scenario, but since I want to detail every scenario I can there will be chapters that focus solely on surviving the day to day--for future reference, I'll probably tag them as "Adventure."
With that out of the way, I do want to say thank you for the comment. I have no doubt that this story will get its fair share of dislikes simply for what it is, but for those who actually give it a chance I want to hear the feedback, to see what I could do better so that I can avoid making the same mistakes in future chapters. The dark setting is not going to change, and there will be no overarching plot line besides various groups living and--mostly--dying. That's just what this story is. If that's not your style, than all I can say is thank you for at least taking the time to give it a chance.
7368334 I tend not to rate stories unless I truly like or dislike them. So, I'll probably just keep an eye out for a chapter here that ends a bit more positively. Hopefully a pony notices a group or at least an individual and takes a closer look before attempting to squash them.
However, I would also like to point out, that unless one is really preoccupied and not paying any attention, that it is actually pretty easy to spot even ant sized objects as long as they aren't in cover(grass) and particularly if what they are on is a different color than they are, and with eyes that size the ponies should have an easier time seeing them. Let alone that their ears should allow them to pick up the tiny humans speech, heck they probably don't use dog whistles because they'd be just as effective on them. Last point in these tiny humans favor is that if the smaller animals, insects, and such notice them, then those creatures would more likely point them out to the ponies anyway considering how they function outside the Everfree.
They can take notice of Breezies but not hear these humans? Uh...yeah. I really doubt it.
Ahhhh... Well! It seems everyday is a school day, isn't it? Horses, unlike humans, can hear up to 20 hz, and by some crazy coincidence that is bare minimum frequency a human at that size could manage. I didn't know that; it kind of puts wet blanket on the whole "unaware" thing, doesn't it?.
Its a good thing I mentioned in chapter one that the "ant size" was the tallest they got, while others barely reached their knees. If that's too big to keep the vein of these chapters in line with what I was aiming for, then I guess the only thing I can do is do away with the ones that can be noticed completely. The Everfree forest isn't a very forgiving place, if I put the majority of them there then this issue won't be a problem anymore. will it?
You have my word, there won't be any more "ant sized" people in future chapters. Thank you very much for letting me know this was an issue, and don't let it be said that I don't listen to my comment section.
7370012 Well, there goes my hope for a chapter with a more pleasant ending, squashed like these poor people under Starlight's rump.
Your story is really good! I love it ^^
Didn't you just research this? What, did all the ponies all just suddenly become sadists and decide to step on, eat, or just leave tiny beings they could see and hear just for the fun of it?
7372064
Because they dont know they are there.
7372064
Exactly what McProky said. The entire point of keeping it Unaware is that these things can happen without tainting the Ponies. You pointed out a serious flaw to that goal; sooner or later, humanity would have been noticed, and I'd have no reason to keep going with the story. In no way are the ponies in this story sadistic, murdering equines hell-bent on the genocide of the human race.
If its any help, you can imagine most of them were in Manehatten, where it would be too busy to be noticed, or that the elements took them--winter isn't a good season to be lost outside, after all.
The fact is, I had to think of something to believably make them go away without pretending they were never there to begin with, and that was the easiest and, in my opinion, best explanation to offer.
7372668 See, there's a problem with that, inevitably the humans will be discovered. The main problem with unaware stories that try to remain unaware throughout is that it ends up painting the unaware party as not just unaware, but rather completely oblivious, like to the point where you wonder if this person or these people have a problem accidentally running into others, walls, opened/closed doors, etcetera. Already I can list quite a few examples from your story:
1. In the chapter where Lyra eats the two kids on her sandwich, the problem is that teeth have this odd function where they act like sound amplifiers. Obviously there's already the problem that both Lyra and BonBon would've been able hear their conversations in general as they were ant sized, but then inside her mouth would have been just as clear. Then of course there's the whole bit where her tongue swishes them around. The tongue, like a few other places is actually very sensitive, in horses and ponies even more so, Lyra in all reality would've been able to feel them struggling and squirming.
2. In the chapter where Starlight sits on and unintentionally ends up with several doomed hitch hikers within her vagina, one in her urethra, and a few clinging to her tail. Well, the first problem is that Twilight being the studious mare she is or Starlight who is also a very meticulous and detailed mare, could've noticed the group on Starlight's chair to begin with, I say could've as we don't know who sat down first or from which side they entered and such. I realize that this group was of the much smaller set, but it was still a very large group and all bunched together, making for a very strange splotch of color(s) on the normally all purple couch, this way ends up with total survival of the group. Now, if you want the casualties, which it seems you do, then perhaps Starlight sat down before either could notice, however there's the new problem, the fact that all these people ended up crushed under/stuck to/inside of Starlight's erogenous zone. This zone is part of those very sensitive areas on the body, and in this case, beyond sensitive. Simply put, even at that size, Starlight would've felt them, especially since they are struggling and in the case of one particular person, purposefully heading deeper. Upon which, she probably would've jumped out of her seat, causing the secondary breaching of her very personal zone, which would send her into panic. Ending up with Spike being sent away to preserve Starlight's feminine privacy, while Twilight being a mare, takes a close look to see what is the source of Starlight's discomfort.
3. In the latest chapter, besides the fact that the ant sized ones would've more likely been discovered rather than being squished, eaten, or starved to death, let alone that if that happened to them the smaller ones would've had it even more severe, there's once again the fact that it's a very large group of them surrounding a large crumb in the middle of a room, at this point Carrot Top must be blind in order to have not seen them.
With that, I bid you farewell and good luck with this story anyway.
If I may add an idea as well, perhaps a small group get in the
unlucky situation of being in a sleeping pony's bed.henrycole.net/images/homepage_piggy_bigstar.png
Can't wait for more ;-)
Dear God, i love it, I love everything you've written. An idea for the future, if you need one, a group stuck in a house, but are "found" and treated like bugs. Heh, you could even have a "colony" and have it get exterminated XD
Anyhow, keep writing! Your amazing!
I have NO clue what to even say here. This story is just so weird... it's like a train wreck. I know I should probly stop staring but... I can't look away.
7407666
Its a fetish based clop fic. Were you not aware of that before you read? Clearly this isn't your fetish so it probably best if you moved along, this fic isn't for you.
7410606 Or you could not downvote someone's comment because they don't explicitly state their love for a fetish you love. I never said I don't like the story; quite the opposite actually. The fact I said, and I quote:
I specifically stated I couldn't look away. Save for the last chapter (Which I skimmed 'cause sweat isn't really my thing) I read every last bit of this story. Why? Because I actually did like it. But at the same time, I didn't. I do have a vore fetish, and an unbirthing one. Those check boxes were ticked easily in this story. But at the same time, I do not like heavy vore. I'm not a fan of people being dissolved and mashed up and chewed in half.
The fact that I clicked on this story to begin with, knowing what I was getting myself into, shows that I did in fact like what I saw. I don't necessarily love the story, because it's a half and half for me, but that doesn't give you the right to shit on my comment simply because I didn't explicitly say "I love it."
7411226
7410606
If I may interject here? In regards to NightmareKnight's choice of words, I honestly found them rather delightful. I wasn't sure if it was the premise you were talking about, or the fact that the Narrator has the attention span of a squirrel on crack, or something else entirely, but a train wreck is a surprisingly accurate depiction of what I've written.
And PartyPony, I appreciate that you're defending the story--really, look at that downvote bar! If I didn't know how unpopular this fetish was, I think I would be disheartened. But if someone doesn't like the story because of it, I would prefer they were just ignored, or at the worst downvoted, rather than provoked--that way they won't come back.
Honestly, I left two warnings in this story. Two! If they went ahead and read it anyway, knowing that the fetish isn't their thing, they're either trolls or illiterate. Unless they're spamming the comments section like jerks, they'll probably move onto the next story and forget this one--which is, in my opinion, the best thing that could happen.
So whaddya say, guys? Could we just chalk this thing up to a misunderstanding and move on? I'd rather not have a miniature war going on in the comments--think of all the casualties! It would be horrible.
7411226
Apologies, I was very clearly in the wrong here, and completely misread that comment. I personally wasn't into the previous chapter either, just not my thing. Though many times I see people come in a bash something other enjoy just because they find it a little strange and I get pretty defensive. My comment was extremely reactionary, rude and totally uncalled for. Sorry for acting like a prick.
7412591 Apology accepted. And I do understand your reaction. I see a lot of random down votes or just flat out "This story sucks" just because it has a particular fetish someone disagrees with. Hell, you should have seen the- I hesitate to call it as such, but it seems the best choice of wording for what it was- comment war on a story I co-wrote with my bf. Was called a cunt simply for telling the person "Don't like it? Don't read it. You were warned in the description". Guy actually got something like 30+ down votes on his comment before he deleted it. And before you point out how similar to this situation that one is, I know. But the context was a bit different (That being his original comment was something along the lines of "This is disgusting and you should feel ashamed of yourself".)
Anyways, I'm rambling. I try to not leave comments on something if I don't have anything constructive to say. If I had an issue with this story, I would try my best to leave a comment explaining my reasoning (Everything just kinda goes better that way, for both me and the author) rather than just say "Ew, your story sucks because fetish" and leave it at that. Either way, no hard feelings between the two of us. I understand where you're coming from.
7412532 Honestly, yeah, this fetish is a bit out there. I mean, I don't think it's the craziest fetish out there, but ya never know. For me, it's one of those things where I'm just like "...I'm kind of turned on, but at the same time disgusted". Weird subject matter, but definitely not bad from a literary standpoint. I may have noticed a grammar mistake here or there (Don't quite remember) but nothing too glaring that would detract from the story. I probably won't add this to a bookshelf or give it a thumbs up, but I certainly won't down vote it. It's just one of those stories where I read it, I go "Kay... neat" and move on. Wish you the best in your future endeavors, see ya around.
Do you still accept requests? :-D
7515864 That depends on the request. What were you thinking?
7517589 I was thinking some extremely huge size difference with Celestia. The tinies would live in the carpet in the throne room and they could for example live from the filth that falls into the carpet ( like hair, or crumbs, etc.). Or they could fall into a hoofcup :-D Sweat, dirt and gore included :-D
7517803 I was actually saving the Princesses for something a bit more... something. I want it to be special, you know?
I could do your idea as a prequel chapter, though; reuse the same cast for whenever I find that something. It could add some much needed continuity... Oh! And I think I had an idea for my something chapter just now! Wonderful. Anyway, that shouldn't be too much of a problem to throw in at some point... eventually.
Wowie, that request actually got the creative juices going! So many ideas for Celestia now~
Shame I'll probably forget most of them by the time I actually start writing it.
P.S. To the few others who threw their ideas into the ring, I haven't ignored them--I'm just really, really lazy. I'll probably get to them at some point, there's only so much I can think of on my own after all.
7517908
If you will forget so many ideas, then write them down. I do it all the time :D
I missed this update, sorry about that. And while I don't know who this onlyintheusa1 is, I indeed enjoyed it. You did a great job.
>> Kind of Anonymous Any plans on having some groups of people worship unaware ponies like goddesses? Or have a group encounter giant paws and get smooshed between massive, sweaty griffon toes?
7547177
I actually have a chapter in mind involving one group of people viewing ponies as deities of sorts, yes--though I have no idea when I'll write it. As for griffons? The thought to use them honestly hasn't even crossed my mind. I'm more focused on Ponies, so it will be a while before the other races get chapters.
7545144
Thank you.
I'm thinking Octavia would have been the better option.
I love ear stuff :D I also hope that your next chapter will be extremely gory! Maybe my request? :-D
Okay, let me tell you why this writing style doesnt work...
Its not bad, its good but its not FITTING. I feel like I am blind in this, I want to see what the "narrator" sees. The jokes dont work without the visual punch line, you know? This would work great on an animation or comic but on a writen format like this? Sorry but it just bothers me sometimes.
But if you want, you can stick with it, it doesnt ruin anything...
Okay, I am kind of starting to see why soo many people dislike this story. Its not the content but the writing style that gets in the way...a lot.
7585664 I agree, it can get quite often into the storytelling, completely destroying the atmosphere of it :/ But it is still a great story to read! ^^
7592826 I really like the content but honestly, the writing style REALLY gets in the way, right when I think we are getting somewhere, nope, time for the narrator act like a smartass...done? Okay, no laughs were shared and you wasted our time but we got plot again...sort of.
I really hope he decrease the quantity of that in future entries since it doesnt seem he is stopping it altogether anytime soon. (Also hope the plot goes somewhere aside from the formulatic format we are having.)
7593758 Yeah, but I believe he can tone it down if we tell him :D If he did stories in a way StarSage does, it would be his Magnum Opus :D
7547742
7592826
I'm actually surprised by this sentiment, since I think that the tone of the story is the best part.
7607360
Well, the like/dislike ratio says something :-D
7607776
Vore stories always get downvoted... people vote far more on preference than anything else when it comes to anything sexual.
If I do need to give you credit already by the title is that you actually listened to the criticism. Im very glad you did because now its even better! But honestly, if it is such a bitch to write like this, try to find some balance or something...
But still, i want you to know Im glad you at least are trying. You are great.
Geez, at the rate they're getting smashed, humans are gonna have to be fucking like rabbits to survive