Epilogue
Dear Princess Celestia,
The truth is a complex thing. Sometimes a lie becomes the truth, and sometimes pursuing what you think is the truth, is to lie. In the end, I think if you accept your feelings, and don’t deny what is there in front of you, then it doesn’t matter if you’re wrong, because you can always learn better if you are.
I am happy to inform you that the world is saved. The attached report should offer full details regarding the mental stability of subjects alpha through epsilon. Rather than any magical solution, it turned out all they needed was somepony kind enough to answer their questions about identity, without judgement or fear.
My new friends showed me that what I wanted was not always best for them, even if I wanted it to be. Sometimes, most times even, the best thing you can do for a pony is give them room to decide for themselves, and support their decision, instead of deciding how to help them all on your own.
I think I know more about what life is worth, now. Yes, I unknowingly changed five ponies’ lives forever, but it would be no service to them to change them further. With this crisis behind us, I hope that they can discover on their own their special place in the world. We need to respect them for who they are, rather than reject them as if they weren’t ponies anymore.
Five ponies that I barely knew became my friends overnight. A truly terrifying power, I consider us lucky having escaped unscathed. But that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. Our friendship just is, and it doesn’t need more justification than that. The best we can do now is stand together, and become stronger ponies, and better friends, for having done so.
Dash hovered over Twilight as she scratched out her important letter, the unicorn rapt in concentration as she put her thoughts to words. After Twilight was done, Rainbow Dash asked curiously, “Hey, how come your hornwriting is the same as ours?”
“Oh, you mean... this?” Twilight said, gesturing the floating quill at her drying letter.
“It’s how we figured it out. See?” Dash said, pulling out a receipt she had filled out recently. “My mouthwriting changed to that, so I knew I had to be somepony else, back before it changed. And Rarity, and Pinkie and Applejack and me all have the same mouthwriting now. But why did it happen to you?”
Twilight blushed in embarassment, mumbling, “Erm, actually...”
“Actually what?” Rainbow asked the reluctant unicorn, landing to give her a serious look.
“I may have given you all my writing style,” the embarassed unicorn said abashedly. “I didn’t actually... know how my friends wrote, you see. I was always the one writing the letters. I just... never had a chance to see them write. When your writing styles were different from mine, I assumed it was more corruption from Discord. Making ponies unable to read each other’s writing seemed like the sort of thing he’d do.”
Twilight rolled up the letter with her magic and sighed, saying, “I know I said you’re your own pony, but you’re right, you do have... a lot more in common with me than even my own friends. Even talking to you, sometimes I feel like I might as well be talking to myself. You know, if I was just pretending to be Derpy instead of myself.”
Rainbow Dash frowned, at this again. Anything but this again. “Well, uh, for one thing,” she suggested cooly, “If I was pretending to be me, why would I come to tell you that I’m not? If I were you, I’d have been all freaked out and afraid to let anypony know too. But I wasn’t, so it’s different.”
Twilight smiled at the rainbow pegasus, saying, “You always know the right thing to say to me... Dash.” Rainbow Dash nodded, but Twilight looked troubled then, and Rainbow Dash could guess what a pony like her would say, in a situation like this.
“And that’s what I’m worried about,” Twilight and Rainbow Dash said at the same time, though Twilight said it sincerely, while Dash said it in a simpering, squeaky sounding voice.
Twilight’s face at the same time blushed, and fell in horror then, and Rainbow Dash just smiled and slapped her on the shoulder. “I’m just messing with ya, egghead,” she said, “You are so predictable sometimes.
“...and that doesn’t mean I’m you in a me suit,” Rainbow added uncertainly.
“I feel so comforted,” Twilight groaned in exasperation.
Twilight Sparkle ended up sleeping for like, two days straight after revealing to all of them who they are. But after that, they had the big birthday party for all 5 of them. Rainbow Dash had initially expected Pinkie Pie—or well, Lyra, she supposed—to deliver the invitation. It was still weird thinking of Lyra as a party planner, rather than just Pinkie Pie planning parties for all of Ponyville. The town was way too big for just one of them though, and between the both of them it luckily added up to just about right.
But instead of those two crazy ponies, Rainbow Dash walked outside one dark morning, and there on her doorstep was a purple unicorn illuminated in the porch light, a unicorn who immediately started dancing on her hooves, and singing.
“This is a singing telegram, I—”
Rainbow stuffed a hoof in Twilight’s mouth, saying, “Stop, stop, stop. It did not work. That did not work.”
Twilight wilted as Rainbow Dash took her hoof back, but then Twilight brightened up quickly again, saying, “Pinkie and Lyra let me deliver the invitations, if I promised to sing the song, but I wanted to bring you some good news, too! I think I figured out why you’re all so mentally stable.”
“I thought you weren’t gonna work on that anymore?” Dash said cautiously. “You really pushed yourself the last couple weeks.”
“Oh, it’s fine, I came up with the idea as soon as I woke up, in fact!” Twilight said prancing in place on the cloud floor. “I did a little checking, and it makes perfect sense! I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before, really.”
Rainbow yawned, and said, “Okay, what’s that?”
“The Elements of Harmony!” Twilight offered merrily. She was in a really good mood, it looked like. “We used the Elements of Harmony,” she repeated. “You remember us using them on Princess Luna, of course. It enabled her to escape from the Nightmare that was tormenting her! That’s what they do. Their power makes things more harmonious.”
“Oh, so...” Dash lifted a hoof, thinking to herself on just what those Elements did. She didn’t really understand it. For her it was just point, shoot and bye-bye villains.
“Well,” Twilight said eagerly, “Discord selected the most discordant ponies he could find, assuming their true natures would disable the Elements of Harmony. And combined with my ill applied sorcery, it was a real mess in your head, at the time. So the Elements would see that as disharmony, and smooth it all out. They repaired any mistakes, and pushed your minds past the danger zone, past the point of no return. Just like the princess, you all came out of your self-inflicted Nightmare, and became like new ponies!”
“Hold on, wait, no,” Rainbow said backing up a step. “We used the Elements on ourselves? And they made your magic permanent? What about Discord’s curses on everypony else? The Elements just got rid of those. Last I checked, they didn’t change Big Macintosh into a literal dog.”
“Yes, but we used the Elements on Discord,” Twilight countered, “We weren’t trying to do anything to me, only to my friends, and him. Him to stop his evil reign, and you all, to protect you from that naggingly persistent corruption. So they made use of my magic, instead of dispelling it!”
Twilight paused thoughtfully, correcting herself by saying, “They did technically dispel my magic too, but only after we had already changed you into you, so to speak.”
“We?” asked Rainbow Dash warily.
“Oh uhm... me, and my um... yous,” Twilight blushed, looking at a hoof. “Sorry, it’s kind of hard to put to words. I don’t know what your old selves were doing, but you as enchanted constructs would have been actively reinforcing the spell. You remember trying to resist his influence, right?”
“He tried to tear Applejack’s element right off her neck!” Rainbow replied hotly. “You didn’t make up that memory too, did you?”
“No, I didn’t modify any of your memories after I thought you were harmonized,” Twilight said softly. “But every time you thought you were resisting his influence, you’d have actually been... sort of... beguiling your old selves to act differently. So when you used the elements, you were in a sense your own targets, because you thought you were resisting Discord, but instead you were resisting... you.
“A-a-anyway, I can’t change what happened any more than you can,” Twilight said scraping a hoof nervously, “But with the Elements involved, it’s much less likely that there’s some explanation I’ve overlooked that might put our mental stability into question..”
Dash tilted her head and tapped a hoof, saying, “So... this is a good thing, right?” She was kind of really nervous about this, and Twilight was sort of throwing off her schedule now. “I mean, I don’t know if it’s a good thing to fire magic rainbows down on yourself, so...”
“While I wouldn’t recommend it on a regular basis, it does lend support to the idea that what happened may be permanent,” Twilight offered, “Fluttershy should be especially pleased at that. And it looks like you’ll all be able to respect your Elements in the forseeable future, so the world isn’t going to plunge again into chaos and ruin any time soon. So I would say... yes. Yes, it is a good thing.”
“Great,” Dash said with another yawn, “Now can I get ready for work now? I gotta have the sky ready for the sunrise.”
“Oh, right! No, I have to give you the invitation!” Twilight stated, whipping out a card in her magic, and scanning over it. “Ahem You’re invited to a party,” she sang distractedly, “Because we think you’re really—”
Dash stuffed a hoof in her mouth again. “Can I just have the card?” she asked. “Please?”
“Mmmhmm,” Twilight said amiably.
Rainbow Dash took the card in her hoof, looked at it and... and smiled at her friend.
“Thanks for giving us a chance, Twilight,” she said, trying to ignore the hint of blush she could feel tinting her cheeks.
When Rainbow got done stashing the card on her dresser and headed out again, Twilight had already trotted back to her balloon, but Twilight waved gladly at her as Rainbow Dash took to the grey skies. As she flew by her, Dash made sure to give Twilight a salute in return. And that felt just right.
After that party, which was incredible by the way, life actually started settling down for Rainbow Dash. Ponies stopped freaking out when she showed up on time, or ordinary, reasonable things like that. Rainbow Dash got back into shape slowly... faster than Applejack though, that mare was in serious trouble for a while.
If Dash had known... well, suffice to say AJ’s family had a reason to distrust her, more than usual even. Apparently Applejack started having these crazy nightmares and... well, she didn’t know why, but she was getting horrible headaches for a while, and getting really... confused and upset. Her family had her housebound for the first 2 days after their victory over Discord, because Applejack got it in her head that there were weevils all over her apple trees... and uh, herself. And weird stuff like that.
Rainbow Dash figured that it was because Twilight used the spell on AJ first, and did her spell better the next time. But it was kind of chilling to find out about Applejack, after the fact. At their weekly picnic, Applejack had only seemed worn out and exhausted. She hadn’t seemed like she’d been stuck in a freaky fever dream a few days ago. Only weeks later, after losing her juice because her hooves were still really shaky, did AJ finally bring up the subject to Dash, tried to downplay it as nothing big, but it sounded like something really big. Rainbow told her to ask Twilight, and Applejack seemed satisfied by the answer she got, whatever it was, but it was still a touchy subject around her.
And that’s not even getting into when Applejack almost got herself killed getting all those ponies arrested that one time for unlicensed alchohol sales. Really, Rainbow Dash felt like she got off lucky. She didn’t have any friends before, and that was sad, but it meant that nopony had been counting on her. She only had up to go from here. Compare that with Rarity, who seemed like she was a hair away from going out of business every week, with that crummy lending company who got to charge exhorbitant rates since Rarity had gotten the loan without any credit, and Rainbow Dash had gotten off lucky. Compare that with Pinkie Pie who uh...
Well... see the thing is, Lyra has a big family with this amazing family history, of a long line of miners harvesting precious stones up on Canterlot mountain. And now Pinkie sort of had that too, except her family wasn’t really... real. Pinkie knew her memories weren’t true, but she liked to forget that sometimes, and pretend that she really had a... family waiting for her somewhere. Rainbow Dash was curious what did happen to her old family, but Pinkie was an orphan, and sort of afraid to find out what happened to her parents. Instead, she kind of... held onto a happy fantasy of what might be true.
For all Dash knew, maybe Pinkie’s fantasy was all true, but it certainly wasn’t what Pinkie Pie remembered before. So Rainbow Dash got off lucky. Since Derpy didn’t show off her family to Twilight at some point, Twilight didn’t have any reason to mess with Dash’s memory of her own folks. They were unhappy memories for Rainbow Dash, but they were important to remember, about her mother, and her father, and what her father had driven her mother to do. Rainbow never wanted to forget that as long as she lived. Bastard.
They were all having problems, but it seemed like the worst of it was over. Fluttershy had a royal edict that allowed her to apprentice with a real animal caretaker in Ponyville, which was about the best she could have expected, or desired for herself. Flutters’ house still seemed so empty without all those animals, but she could go visit them any time she wanted, and regain their trust and stuff. Once she proved to them, and to herself, that she could care properly for animals, then she could start restoring her collection. Uh, her... assortment; Fluttershy didn’t like it if you called it a collection.
Rainbow Dash’s workmates started relying on her, and her team made it to the nationals for the first time this year. Once Rainbow’s neighbor, a kindly old pegasus mare with four grandchildren, stopped thinking she was the devil incarnate, it turns out Ms. Windy made a really mean batch of chocolate fudge, and she was just dying to share it with somepony!
Rainbow Dash was working on teaching Scootaloo less about breaking into houses, and more about being awesome, and the kid seemed to take pretty well to that. Scootaloo had... flying difficulties, and Scoots had come to expect ponies would give up on her because of that. That meant Rainbow Dash only became greater in her eyes, just because of a little dedication and passion that Scootaloo couldn’t get elsewhere. Scoots was even whipping some of the other foals at the orphanage Dash had set her up with into a Rainbow Dash fan club. It was absolutely adorable.
Had Rainbow Dash remained any longer as her old self, Scootaloo might have been... well, Rainbow Dash might not have gotten off so lucky, if that had happened. But it didn’t, so Rainbow had no trouble at all with the squirt, could start teaching her to respect other ponies, instead of trying to get her to disobey them for Rainbow Dash’s sake.
It was kind of problematic how Drizzle had gotten in the habit of following Rainbow around at practice like a puppy, instead of doing her own stuff like she was supposed to. Dash wasn’t sure what to do about somepony who liked you too much. Wasn’t a huge problem, but it did end up with Drizzle in tears again, by the time they had to work it out.
One thing led to another, as things will do. Things got crazy, and things got calm. Rainbow never did recover her memory, or at least not all of it, but she knew the important stuff: what she was supposed to do, where she was supposed to be, and what a huge jerk her dad was. She learned a little more about lightning from Derpy, but they actually didn’t have much reason to hang out together. Plus it was sort of unsettling being around somepony who kept copying you. Dash wasn’t sure if she felt like it was Derpy doing the copying, or vice versa.
Twilight Sparkle assured Rainbow that Rainbow Dash was her own pony, even if she got a little mixed up with Twilight’s ideal version of Derpy at one point in her life. Twilight said there were big differences between Rainbow Dash and Derpy, and Rainbow Dash really hoped that was the case. She didn’t think she could have lived with just being a clone of somepony, especially somepony so... derpy, so she was glad she was her own pony.
But her not being a Derpy clone kind of made some trouble for Twilight, because now Twilight had to juggle two different circles of friends. Ponies like Pinkie/Lyra could know literally everypony in town and not have a problem with it, but the bookworm was actually kind of new at this whole friendship thing, so she found it pretty overwhelming. Rainbow knew you had to be pretty radical to handle being friends with Rainbow Dash, so she could understand why somepony like that would feel caught between a rock and a hard place.
Rainbow Dash was getting pretty comfortable with who she was, now. Even the awful pony she was before, Rainbow Dash was starting to feel kind of okay with that. It sucked, but it was gone now. Like her friend said, it was like waking up from a bad dream. Rainbow was just glad to get that chapter of her life behind her, and eager to take up her new role, the one she was so familiar with. Rainbow Dash was done just being a pony living from day to day. She was ready to be a hero.
So that’s why when she saved that filly from drowning in the old well, Rainbow Dash knew she was doing exactly what she was meant to do. She was on the right track now, and things were only gonna get better from here.
~o The end o~
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It's good that Twilight's memory about M11 is consistent with their race and magical talents (whether or not the Elements were deceived to auto-correct them as well because they were different). So if Applejack got memories of Rainbow - Magical Mystery cure style, or Twilight had to force her own memory onto them, situation might have been more broken. It is already a bit rough, as their memories, according to percentage of their life that Twilight was really aware of, that wasn't very big - must be very fragmented.
7324397
Well, if Harmony played any part in it, it was probably that Twilight was friends with two pegasi, two earth ponies and a unicorn, and Discord chose to replace them with two pegasi, two earth ponies and a unicorn. But just a for example, Flitter doesn't seem to be particularly affiliated with animals, so that can't have come from her, or from Twilight's conception of her. Twilight must have seen that in Fluttershy's mind, and just took away the part that was not nice, replacing it with the kindness she saw in Flitter. Derpy is a Wonderbolts fan, but she's not a racer herself, so the fact that Dash is a great flyer really wouldn't have changed, no matter who Twilight impressed upon Rainbow Dash's psyche.
Overall: love it
Epilogue: awkwardly written but I'm having trouble putting into words what the exact problem is.
I'll confess. The whole seizure thing? Felt less like a shocking twist, but you just being a bully to Rarity at that point. They were already suffering from their pony of view, their families and friend treating them almost like strangers, making Rarity's faints be seizures instead, felt like kicking her while she was down instead of another shocking reveal. Reading that made me sincerely wonder if you had something against Rarity as a character or something.
This story did make me feel inspired. This story did not make me think. All it did was make me feel depressed. I am fully aware I am in the micro-minority. But this story really didn't feel it served any purpose. I was not entertained. And this creates way way way too many continuity issues and continuity snarls for it NOT to be considered an alternate universe.
This story has different ponies defeat Nightmare Moon. That's an alternate universe.
I know my views and opinions are not welcome here. But seriously, this story strangely felt like it was PUNISHING the girls somehow!
"terrifying power, I consider us"
"power; I"?
"them who they are"
"were"?
"porch light, who"
"light who"?
"shoot and bye-bye villains"
"shoot, and"?
"ill applied"
"ill-applied"?
Ah, looks like that hypothesis was right. :)
"We weren’t trying to do anything to me, only to my friends, and him. "
They weren't trying to do anything to Twilight's friends either, though, were they?
"Yes it is a good thing"
"Yes, it"?
"at Rainbow Dash, as the pegasus took to the grey skies, and flew by her"
"Dash as the pegasus took to the grey skies and"?
"their victori over"
"victory"?
"feel kind of okay with that."
"okay with."?
...And I"m going to choose to see that as a nice and happy ending, I think, rather than the ominous precursor to Mare Do Well. :)
7324436 "Welcome to Remembrance. Whose memories do you want to get today? Rainbow? Pinkie Pie? Thanks for being a devoted customer of our service."
Twilight is more or less a pony from the future, who can fulfill or ruin dreams like that. Thanks to their diaries and memories of neighbors, they don't really lose all of their previous life.
7324635 well aren't you just mr. Negative
7324635
One thing that does not add up though is, what happened to the Sonic Rainboom that gave everyone their cutiemarks? As the story established, Derpy was not a good flier like Rainbow was and that all the events that Rainbow and the others though they did, Derpy and the others actually did. So the story is telling you that Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, AppleJack, Rarity, and Fluttershy are only friends do to a accident on Twilight's part, yet the only pony that could have pulled off the Sonic Rainboom was Rainbow Dash, which if that was the case, contradicts what the story is trying to say. The story is telling us that Rainbow Dash and the others became friends through great misunderstanding caused by Twilight and illustrated by Discord, however the Rainboom even predates all of this and would be at a time where Rainbow and the others would be to young to commit the crimes they did when they were older, and since they all seem to have the same cutiemarks that they had in the show, that implies to me that Rainbow Dash still set off the Sonic Rainboom that linked them all in the first place. If that is the case then that means they were destined to be the element bears and friends with Twilight even more so then the ponies who actually were her friends and actually had been through all those adventures. So why would fate have them all gain their Cutiemarks, only to have them all still go down different paths. It to me just feels like something happened, something that wasn't meant to happen that changed that destiny into what it is now.
7324766
I hate that song.
Song I ACTUALLY like.
7325206
The way the author keeps insisting this isn't an alternate universe, and how convoluted this makes just about everything in the series, I agree.
7324561
Too much to write, not enough fucks to give on the author's part?
7324570
Oh yes, it's not like she's my favorite character in the show or anything. Clearly I utterly despise that mare, and writing about bad things happening to her totally validates me as a person.
7324635
Well, it sure isn't very fun, what happened to them. I can't really see it as punishment though, because it's just a peculiar idea that occurred to me when thinking about how Twilight restored their memories. I thought it'd be terribly exciting if she restored their memories to the wrong ponies, and then I thought wait, what if they were the wrong ponies all along? So am I punishing them? I'm just playing with weird ideas, really.
And yes, it's an alternate universe to the official canon show. But every story on this site is an alternate universe to the official canon show. Heck, with the season 5 finale, the show canonifies alternate universes! The show itself gets the alternate universe tag, because that episode was all about changing history, and totally different timelines! So you can write a story about alternate universes, without anyone complaining that you're contradicting what was said in the show at all.
A story isn't a tragedy just because it isn't funny as some other story. It's a tragedy because tragedy is in the story. So when I have an alternate universe in my story, I'll tag it "alternate universe."
Anyway, sorry you didn't like it.
7324662
The porch light didn't start dancing, Twilight did.
Well, Twilight was trying to restore them to their old selves, and there really wasn't any other pony involved there.
Yep, this whole story was written for the sole purpose of explaining why they acted so OOC in that ep
Anyway, thanks for corrections!
7324718
She's a... pony from the future? What?
7324766
God I hate that song.
7325206
I dunno. I didn't think of that.
It did not however, establish that Derpy was not a fast flier like Rainbow was. I'm sure I could come up with something similar to the Sonic Rainboom. Maybe she ended up saving other ponies from getting wrecked by dispersing a massive lightning storm... by redirecting it through her own body.
No, the show pretty clearly established that they'd all get those same cutie marks, whether the Sonic Rainboom happened or not.
Wow, that would be interesting. Twilight would be like, "You mean I picked the wrong friends, and events conspired to get me to switch them?!"
7325292
G3, are you kidding? That song sounds dumb—*it goes into counterpoint*
This was a interesting story, don't get me wrong, but their are other inconsistency's other than the Sonic Rainboom, for instance, since they seem to have the same cutiemarks that they had in the show, they had to at one point demonstrated the same personalities as the other 5 ponies or atleast demonstrated similar ones before going down that path. While yes you could do that and write it where Derpy performed the Sonic Rainboom, it still would not make sense seeing as being fast is not represented by her Cutiemark like it is Rainbow Dash's, also Rainbow can perform the Sonic Rainboom naturally where as if I bought that Derpy could perform it, it would have had to be a accident or a hiccup on Derpy's part. That brings me to my next point, the personalities of Flitter, Golden Harvest, Derpy, Lyra and Bon Bon do not match their special talents, while Rainbow Dash and the others do. Why would someone like Bon Bon who is suppose to specialize in making candy, make dresses instead, or Lyra, who suppose to be good a playing a Lyre, is instead a party planner, their personalities don't fit. I mean had you atleast made ocs instead of using background ponies, this could all be overlooked, because they would be blank slates that you could mold to be anything and their cutiemarks could even be made similar to that of Rainbow and the others, so that it would stick with the whole theme of them essentially being copies of one another. Finally, the story barely gave us anything on their backstories other then they did horrible things, but it never gave us a understanding as to why they went down that path. I do feel this story should be given a AU tag, as that could atleast help clear up some confusion because as of now, it seems like the story is being told in the same continuity as the show, while overriding everything the show established.
In my opinion, you should make a sequel to this story that would help clear up some of this, it could tell two things: 1 it could give us a backstory on how they went down that path as well as restore those memories to Rainbow and the others to help them move past that past life and heal from their crimes. 2 it would give Twilight closure as well as give her a better understanding of her new friends that way they could really bond as friends and it would allow Twilight to help them through the guilt and trama of their past so they can move on. It also would allow us to actually see if their efforts paid off and that they were able to make up for their mistakes toward the towns folk and any family they wronged.
7325787
"The porch light didn't start dancing, Twilight did."
Eh, I suppose. It reads a bit awkwardly to me with the comma there, though, and I think that the who/which distinction is enough to invalidate the porch light as the dancer.
Oh, and just checking, but was there meant to be punctuation at the end of that sentence? I at first thought that the absence was deliberate, but I thought that, as long as I'm here anyway, I might as well mention it.
"Well, Twilight was trying to restore them to their old selves, and there really wasn't any other pony involved there."
I thought that Twilight thought she'd already done that, though?
"Yep, this whole story was written for the sole purpose of explaining why they acted so OOC in that ep
"
...Hm. I'm not really seeing it, I'm afraid. How does it work as an explanation for that?
Ah, though I suspect that you may be joking here.
...Ohhh, and I just got what the Twist picture meant. In my defense, I've not been up that long yet and didn't get all that much sleep. :)
You're welcome. :)
7326530
Yeah, there should be. Good catch.
Well, the spell she worked out in my fic was more of an active one than just editing one's memories like a hard disk, as Discord observed. But I don't claim to understand how my thought process works, so maybe it just doesn't make sense at all that the Elements would work on them.
7325868
Oh no! You should have said so sooner! I already went and got you wrong! Now what am I gonna do??
Well, I never claimed to be perfect.
I didn't say she completed the Sonic Rainboom. I said she took a giant lightning bolt to the face. Maybe she got her mark after she fell into the water, after that?
Rarity got Bonbon'd, not the other way around, so why would Bonbon make dresses?
Why would Pinkie who is supposed to be good at blowing up balloons be a party planner?
I was only going to subtly hint at that, not explain it in detail. But yes, it did give you an understanding as to why they went down that path. Sorry it didn't arrive on your side.
If people can't understand that Derpy doesn't have to be fast to be awesome, I don't think throwing in alternate universes will help.
7327064
"Yeah, there should be. Good catch."
Oh, glad I mentioned it, then!
"Well, the spell she worked out in my fic was more of an active one than just editing one's memories like a hard disk, as Discord observed. But I don't claim to understand how my thought process works, so maybe it just doesn't make sense at all that the Elements would work on them."
Oh, no no, it makes sense to me that the Elements would work on them; that's fine. What I don't understand is why Twilight was trying to have the Elements work on them, why she knew that there was any work to be done, or how she forgot it afterwards. I suspect that that's not what the text was meant to say, but, confusing as it is, I've not thought of a better interpretation.
"
"
:)
edit:
To elaborate:
"“Yes, but we used the Elements on Discord,” Twilight countered, “We weren’t trying to do anything to me, only to my friends, and him. So they made use of my magic, instead of dispelling it!”"
I parse this as placing Twilight's friends as being like Discord deliberate targets of the Elements. "We weren’t trying to do anything to me, only to my friends"
7327064 Ok I will admit, I kind of worded that wrong, I mean that the posh and high standard nature or Rarity, does not really fit Bon Bon, because while the fashion scene maybe part of Rarity's talent, the personality she now has had to come from Bon Bon. The same goes for Lyra, Pinkies over eccentric personality and jokes don't really fit Lyra. Also while yes Pinkies CutieMark is about her blowing up balloons, I still feel that fits with the party theme better then a Lyre because balloons are usually associated with parties.
If you mean the hints about Rainbows abusive father or Pinkie Pie not having biological parents, that really does not give much, plus it still leaves Rarity, Fluttershy and Apple Jack, reason unknown. The main reason I wanted you to expand on this is because I feel you sort of gave them a "Get out of jail free" card, and it makes it seem like their actions are not legit. Twilight was not entirely wrong about them needing to know who they really are, and I feel having them face those memories would allow them to cope with who they were and maybe even learn to forgive themselves and it would allow their bond with Twilight to grow stronger as Twilight would have a understanding of their true self and the events that lead them down that path, and it would allow her to strengthen their bond as well as make new memories with them. I mean, they still have to face Chrysalis, Sombra and Tirek, so they would have the opportunity to make up for their mistakes in the eyes of Equestria.
7327329
She forgot because of the shock of seeing the wrong ponies, and how everything totally changed when the EoH got rid of Discord's magic. It was only a few seconds of absolute confusion anyway, before Twilight remembered what she had been trying to do. Thus the "no no no" in the narration.
I guess I could work on that a bit... it didn't parse like that for me, because she didn't say "We weren't targeting me with the Elements, only my friends and him." She said "We weren't trying to do anything to me etc..." "Trying to do anything" means a lot of things in my mind, not just using the Elements to fix them.
7327805
That "posh" attitude never really seemed integral to Rarity's character, for me. Her generosity comes through when she puts aside the attitude, and lowers her standards for others. Really, having Rarity being so stuck up and arrogant takes away from her role as an Element, I think. It's something for her to overcome, rather than something that we love about her. And as such, I don't feel that Rarity's snooty elitism came from the generosity that Bon Bon taught Twilight Sparkle.
But, I mean really. The only difference between high fashion and chocolate is that with chocolate you spend ridiculous amounts of money on it, and then eat it. At least dresses you can wear more than once. Chocolate is pretty snooty and high class around where I am, at least. Sure there's godawful cheap Easter chocolate, but in parallel with Rarity, there's also ponies who get their clothing from Barnyard Bargains.
Lyra and Pinkie both have ludicrously upbeat attitudes. Rarity and Bonbon both have caring, giving personalities. Applejack and Golden Harvest are both terrible liars, and great leaders. And Dash and Derpy are both... well... kind of goofy, and fiercely dedicated to the ponies they care about. Really, the worst one was Flitter/Fluttershy. There isn't much fan-characterization of Flitter, outside of that one fic which more focuses on Cloudchaser being a huge slut and that's bad somehow. But I couldn't think of any pony Fluttershy more took after, so I just went with who seemed to be shy/cute.
Well... I mean... really? Applejack is the one who has the most explanation, I thought. Discord explicitly reviewed her mind for horrible deeds, and her reasons for doing so. His selection of the others was off camera. They weren't good reasons, but well... when he found her, AJ was drinking herself under the table, again. Ponies don't do that who feel like they've made good decisions with their life.
Fluttershy is still mysterious, but... why is there a grave there, considering who she was? Why is there only one grave? I hardly think that's no information at all about her past.
And Twilight herself explained why Rarity was such a bich. Rainbow mentions Rara found herself in dire financial straits afterward, too.
7332902
...Okay, um. First, to me, the two parts of that post appear to be contradicting each other. The second part I read as saying that she wasn't trying to target her friends while the first explains why she forgot she was targeting her friends.
Putting that aside for the moment, though, and focusing on the second part (because I have too much confusion about the first part):
Ahhh, okay, I think I can see what you were thinking. My impression was that Twilight and her (new) friends thought at the time that there was no more fixing necessary and thus that the Elements didn't need to be used on them, only on Discord and the other problems he caused. Unless I'm still misunderstanding you?
Sorry. This one bit, for some reason, does seem to spur a lot of miscommunication.
7332902 I didn't really mean that being "posh" was all their was to Rarity, I mean that that sort of outlook really does not fit Bon Bon. This is why I mentioned you using Ocs. as that would have solved this issue with no problems. See I feel that the background characters you selected, are having their personality qualities pushed to the side, so they can be given the necessary qualities the Mane 5 require from them. I feel if you had to go with background characters, I feel going with the more popular ones would have made it better, for instance Octavia, I could see being a better avatar for Rarity, or Vinyl being a better selection for Pinkie Pie ect.
Ok, I think there might be some confusion here, I am aware that you explained the crimes each of the Mane 5 committed, and I know you hinted at certain figures in a few characters lives, but I still don't feel they really tell the full picture here. I mean for instance, while AJ's family might not trust her now, their is no indication, that it was always like this, so their is no real inclination that they are the cause of Aj's downfall, and if not them then who could have hurt Apple Jack in a way to make her so untrust worthy and a liar? Same goes for Fluttershy and Rarity, what caused Rarity, to ultimately lose track of her passion, was it really that easy to fall into greed? And regarding Fluttershy, I can only assume the grave is that of some animal she really cared about, (my guess is Angel, seeing as he is not in this story) that lead her to become a hoarder, but if that is the case, was Fluttershy's self esteem really that weak, that the loss of a animal drove her to madness? And I many wanted you to expand on the idea, not really for the readers sake, but for the sake of the characters, no matter what, their is only so long they could stay like that before their past catches up with them, and I feel if they had a better understanding of their true self and was able to forgive that side of them, then they could face those problems, dead on, but for sake of argument lets use Discord, for example, now assuming the events of this story will continue to follow the events of the show, only this time, Rainbow and the others will actually be there, when it gets down to the events of "Keep Calm Flutter On", what is stopping Discord from taking advantage of Fluttershy's past and restoring her to her former self, if her moral code is only dictated by a spell and her true self has not changed then not only could that damage her element, it would be harder to actually reform Discord or turn him back to stone, if he could just undo, what Twilights spell did to them.
7333638
You don't want to go there, pardner.
Do you remember when your first pet died?
Who said someone needed to drive her to lie? Maybe she just took the easy way out, not thinking how hard it would be down the line.
I think the characters are going to be just fine on their own. I really don't want to dwell on a subject like this. I have other stuff to write that I like better.
He's... not... evil?
He was never evil.
7333091
I never said she forgot she was targeting her friends. She forgot what she did to them, and then realized.
7334094
Thanks!
7335038
Notice how Sharaloth said "Some criticisms:"? A lot of other people also criticised it, and I'm pretty sure no commenter said that it was a good idea.
7335753
"I never said she forgot she was targeting her friends. She forgot what she did to them, and then realized."
I think you thought I was referring to something else and answered about that, but I thought that you were answering about what I was referring to. I think. Maybe. I'm confused on this point.
Anyway, though, I think that we now do seem to be getting the actual facts straight, I hope.
...Though, wait, I still don't understand what interaction Twilight expected between the Elements and her friends. If that was indeed what has happening.
Sorry for the continued confusion.
"and I'm pretty sure no commenter said that it was a good idea"
I liked it... I've been hoping that you'll go back to using it in future stories. It would be something of a tragic loss, I think, if you were driven away from it, and I still don't really like that this story dropped it. I mean, your work, I'm not demanding you change it back, but... well, it's one of (certainly not the only, but one of) the unique things that made me interested in your writing in the first place.
7335753 Don't quite understand what you are implying, in my opinion Octavia would be a better choice. Yes actually I do remember when my first pet died, it was a hamster, it was saddening, but it did not drive me to hoarding animals.
I would like to think that being raised by Granny Smith and Big Mac, that they would have did everything they could to teach her right, so I would like to believe she wouldn't just go down the path of lying unless she felt it was the best route.
I understand, I wasn't trying to force you to write something that you don't wish to write, but on the same note, it could always be a subject to come back to at a later date, also I do feel they should have some understanding of their true self that could allow their true moral code, to change and not solely rely on a spell that if some bad guy found out about, could easily exploit.
I understand that Discord isn't inherently evil, but he did set up the chain of events that lead to their true selves being erased by Twilight, plus considering Discord would do everything in his power to ensure they did not reform him, I could see Discord exploiting Fluttershy's old self as a means of stopping her from reforming him as well as make sure the elements can't be used on him. In the episode "Keep Calm Flutter On" the only reason Discord did not resort to discording them was because he knew it would not work a second time, but sense the Mane 5 in this story, morals and memories are based off a spell, I could see Discord, trying to get rid of that spell. Also I would like to believe that their true selves are not as evil as they were made out to be, I mean if the Elements were able to fix them without turning them to stone, then that means their had to be good in them somewhere.
Several days later and this story is still in my head, but not from it being inspiring, or emotional, but from it being just that disturbing, it's like reading Cupcakes! This story has actually LESSENED my ability to enjoy the show and the fandom! I was at work, and I actually almost CRIED, not at what happened to the characters, but that someone would WRITE something like this! If it's scientifically possible to actually be traumatized by a piece of fan fiction I'd submit this one for testing! You've stated your intents here, but intents and results are rarely the same thing, and I am also aware that I tend to be 'unique' in how I react to some fan fiction. But all in all, this fanfic for ME is in the same category as Cheerilee's Garden, Pattycake, Rainbow Factory, Cupcakes, and Sweet Apple Acres Massacre. It's not about mindless levels of gore, the LACK of those here actually make this alternate universe slightly more in tune with the mane one, and actually make it MORE disturbing. It's about feeling like the fictional characters from this half-hour toy commercial we've come to know and love, have been violated, and I don't mean in the physical or mental sense. http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CanonDefilement
To sum it up, I feel about this fanfic the way a lot of Marvel fans feel about Captain America being revealed to be from the beginning secretly a HYDRA agent.
One quickly look is all it takes to see that I'm in the overwhelming minority here, and I was hoping that if I just ignored it, that this feeling would just go away, but it didn't, so I had to share this view to give myself a sense of closure to finally move on from this fan fiction. I'm sorry if anything here came across as a personal attack, I deeply apologize. I wish you luck in your future creative endeavors and hope you continue to enjoy success.
7337842 Are you sure your not taking this a bit to serious, I mean yeah its dark, but I don't think I would say its on the level of Cupcakes or Rainbow Factory. I mean, I explained how all it really needs is a bit more expansion into their past to fix up any trauma the characters may face. But that falls upon the author to decide to continue. I mean we can make the assumption, that the story is following the canon entirely and it might have from Twilight, defeating Nightmare Moon to them defeating Discord, but that does not mean everything from that point on will be the same, so it can still distance itself from the show, making it a AU.
7335874
Well, I might be more eager to do weird things and love the consequences in a story that is full of weird things, instead of this sort of subtle, psychological stuff. Someone had a good point that a short story like this can get tripped up by the slightest reader bias, and I'd probably have more luck embracing base-4 enthusiastically at full throttle, rather than using it incidentally and assuming nobody'll care.
7336360
Yeah, I'd like to think that too. Doesn't mean it's true, but I would. Anyway "everything they could" doesn't mean that a young girl who has to give up her dream to save the farm when her parents tragically died won't feel a little lost and desperate at times.
It's an interesting assumption, that what happened to them can be reversed at the flip of a hat. Because that was kind of Twilight Sparkle's own assumption at the beginning, and after two weeks of making no progress she had to conclude that it just wasn't going to happen. The ponies don't know how strong their conditioning is, so they could get turned evil, or it might be even harder than doing it to a normal pony. It's just not part of the story "how to break them" so you'll have to make your own speculations.
7337842
HAIL DISCORD
But seriously, is it really so outrageous that they might be evil characters, in some sense? The cast all have their moments, and even their villainous moments (I'm looking at you Rarity) and they're actually very complex characters, not just cookie cutter moral Orels. Maybe I exaggerated some things to make it obvious they had serious issues, but one of the compelling things I thought was how those issues were not contradictory to their characters.
That's really why everyone gets upset at Cupcakes I think, because of how Pinkie Pie was in character, not how she was out of character. You can't see her acting normally now without that author's sadistic vision coming to mind. It was just close enough, that people can't stop thinking about the one and the other. The difference is that my story isn't a sadistic joke written solely for the purposes of giving bronies nightmares and making fun of how emotional they are. I hold Cupcakes in the same realm as My Little Dashie (no, really) because it's a story that does nothing but try to get under your skin, with no substance to it besides "I want the readers to feel like something." So my story might make you think of the characters, and how their lives might have gone wrong, but you can just smile and conclude that it's one of many possible interpretations of their character, or at least I hope you can.
"There, but for the grace of God go I" is something my (quote) atheist (unquote) father used to say all the time, and there's a grain of truth to that; our circumstances can often have profound effects on who we are and what we become, without changing our basic nature at all. And that's sort of what happened here, is the characters weren't living such great lives, and they didn't rise above it, but instead got in over their heads, and ended up rotten enough to warm Discord's (literally) black heart. You don't have to think that they couldn't be good ponies, because I'm not writing a fic just to mess with you, and instead you are free to conclude that this fic is not true, and just had some fun meshing with canon in some creative ways.
I don't know if I can help you feel better about this, and I'm sorry you went and read something that you're stuck with now. But if my fic was disturbing for how I portrayed the characters, I do want to warn you to stay very far away from a series of parody episodes called "Friendship is Witchcraft." It's basically the same thing I did here, except they never get better, and there's nothing to save them (and it's hilarious (if that sort of thing doesn't bother you)). You might also want to avoid the "Mentally Advanced" series, except for "Rainbow Dash Presents" which is an incredible work that takes gut wrenchingly horrifying stories, and uses the power of comedy to make it impossible to be so affected by them anymore. (And yes, RDP reviews both Cupcakes and My Little Dashie...)
7338152
Meh, I just don't have much interest in speculating on what happens to this story beyond this point, at least not in enough detail to make a story of it. What I want to write is this HiE idea I had, but I've barely got one chapter roughed out and it's just not coming. And it's after 3am, so I really shouldn't even write anything.
7342042
Ah, yes, that seems a fair point. Well, I consider this good news; thanks. :)
7342042 Hey now, I would not go calling Octavia overrated, shes just a popular character. Also Octavia was more of an "example" if background characters had to be used for this story, I did suggest ocs originally.
See, that right their was what I was talking about, AJ being force to save a farm in the wake of the aftermath of her parents death, is a good explanation as to why she fell down that path more so then because she felt like it. It paints a actual tragedy of a filly struggling to cope with the loss of her parents.
Again I never meant to imply I was forcing you to continue a story you wish to not continue, if this is truly a one shot story and nothing more, then so be it, but that does not mean that any constructive criticisms you get on this story could not be applied to future ones. And for further argument, just because Twilight could not find a fault does not mean that a enemy much more powerful couldn't, and maybe they would even need to, even if they couldn't break the spell their is nothing stopping them from forcing them to emulate their original personality.
7342206
I just felt like using a character who had at least more than one episode with a speaking role, okay?
There are hints of explanations for all that in the story. That's what I like about it, is it hints at what might be, without needing to actually go shove your face in the tragedy. There's some reason for everything, and the characters are lost and scared because they don't know what that reason is. It's nice if the readers can sympathize with that, instead of knowing a solid, clear-cut answer.
7348006 I guess that makes sense, it just I feel that using that "less used" character, to stand in as the counter part for Rarity, sort of overrides that character own traits, traits that make it its own character, where as a character like Octavia, can be a close enough analog to Rarity, without sacrificing any of her own traits. But It is your story, I will respect the characters you chose even if I feel some might not match up perfectly to the character they are suppose to be a counterpart of.
And I understand this, I just feel that if you write a happy ending to a story like this, especially one you have no plans to follow up, it needs to have a ending that is guaranteed to last. Having their new personality be dependent on a spell, does not give of that sense of lasting, as if feels like something that could wear off or be overridden. That's why I felt they need to come to terms with their true self, because that adds that guaranteed lasting feeling, because you know as a reader they have truly changed for the better, and can now face any foe head on without worry and can let the past be the past.
Well, that turned out interesting. I do hope Applejack ended up being ok, because "oh, and then she eventually had a psychotic breakdown and had to be permanently committed" is a lot darker than what this story was trying to be, I think.
7348345
More used. I used the more used character to stand in for Rarity. Pinkie got the less used one.
I did say their personality was changed by a spell, but I don't recall saying it was dependent on it. Anyway, it's complicated.
7349212
So what, an epilogue epilogue? Nah I'm pretty much done with this. Fluttershy's the one most at-risk of that happening anyway. Applejack doesn't even have an assigned counselor!
7352833 Fair enough you did not say it was dependent on it, but it clearly had a significant part in changing Rainbow and the others, and all of them were terrified of having the spell removed, indicating removing the spell would have some effect of returning them to their old ways, which is why I feel that if that old way was truly changed then the spell would be irrelevant.
7352867
It was supposed to be left uncertain, just why the spell didn't "break" for them. Yes, it would be terrible if (at a future time) someone managed to return the characters to their old selves, and I'm sure they would jump at any opportunity to be less vulnerable and more stable, if they find out that they're vulnerable.
7356072
I did giggle a bit writing that part.
The ending was very bittersweet.
Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie were able to keep their new identities without any magical, spiritual, or internal consequences hanging over their heads, thanks in major part to Harmony. Without having to fear the side effect of Twilight's spell, it brings me relief that the characters are not going to experience a relapse or something. I'm especially happy because of this:
These characters will have a chance to earn the love of their friends and family, the latter will finally get to enjoy the new ponies.
With that said..................there are heavy prices and challenges that the they will have to overcome. I believe Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy got it off easy, only somewhat though. Poor Pinkie is gonna spend the rest of her life wondering if her real family is waiting for her. Applejack and Rarity have to constantly fight against the trials and tribulations brought upon them from their previous life..............to say that their situation "sucks" is an understatement. But I have faith in them that they will eventually overcome all the obstacles to a successful and thriving life.
My biggest complaint about this fic, while I can appreciate that this fic was told for the most part from RD's perspective.........I really wished that the rest of the four were fleshed out. I would have wanted to know what each were going through, especially in the epilogue.
On a funny note:
Watching Twilight repeat Pinkie's/Lyra's birthday singing telegram has got to be one of the most ridiculous pictures to look at. So ridiculous that I laughed. Gotta give you props for at least having a sense of humor.
7357722
I think it's amazing how swiftly people can go from hating to loving each other, just from the right changes in attitude. I once ended up pretty good friends with one of the most merciless bullies who ever plagued me, just because I started to realize they were doing it purely out of curiosity for my reaction, rather than to stroke their own ego.
Fluttershy? Well, her life improved to a ludicrous degree, it's true. But all her animals hate her, the ones she hasn't killed through cruelty and neglect, and she's not even (yet) allowed to care for them anymore. That's like the only happiness in her rather reclusive life. That, and good tea. I guess I'm thinking about the severity of the consequences, rather than how much they've lost in the disaster.
Dash did get off easy though, yeah. She could have been facing criminal charges, if she didn't have such great friends who didn't force her to turn her diary over to the cops.
Well, it's not like that changed at all, just because she stopped being angry about it. I think the tragedy here is that she remembers having a real family, whereas before she didn't have anything to be taken away from her. But seriously, think about what Pinkie did in the show. Do you really think she's going to be all that heartbroken that Lyra's family isn't her "real" family?
Question is if they can handle two Lyras.
Yeah, I thought about that. But I really like experiencing Rainbow Dash's point of view, in part because she doesn't get to hear all the private details of her friend's troubles. With the unresolved ending, you can get an idea of just how much that bothers her, even if she won't admit it to herself. Leaving it up to speculation gives a better feel for what it would be like to go through a sort of total personality rewrite, because the characters don't have the magic ability to float over each other's shoulders and witness all the dramatic resolutions.
Okay, technically Rainbow Dash does have the magic ability to float over each of her friend's shoulders, but they'd probably get annoyed at her if she kept hovering over them all the time.
She was so eager to do her part.
7356483
It could happen! Maybe? ...kind of? .....slightly?
7356586
What, the part where Discord got entombed in stone, or the part where Fluttershy was torn up about her lack of numerous graves?
A good story. There were some parts that made me uncomfortable (I truly cannot see AJ, RD, Rarity, Flutters, and Pinkie acting that badly of their own free will. Does not compute), and the ending... I don't know, it felt incomplete.
But it was a good story. Good enough that I'm gonna save it to read offline later.
7466681
Well, thanks! Glad to hear you enjoyed it. I hope my horrible mischaracterization of the cast wasn't too jarring. If it helps, think of how AJ, RD, Rarity, Flutters, and Pinkie can't act that way, because Twilight subconsciously designed them to be the perfect ponies. Whoever came before, was it someone else entirely? Or just a different attitude from the same pony? I honestly couldn't say for sure.
7470065 What helps is me considering this an AU. But yeah. You're a good writer. This had me intrigued enough to binge-read it when I found it.
7470065
Which goes against the entire point of their characters is that they're NOT perfect. At all. RD pranking the hell out of Ponyville and needed to be brutally taught a lesson to change her tune comes to mind. The mane six as programmed perfect ideals just doesn't work.
7512742
I just meant they can't act like they used to. Fluttershy might get mad at tourists or mailponies, but she's not going to be caging and starving her little woodland critters just to watch them hurt. Dash might make the mistake of signing autographs instead of saving a pony, but she's not going to pretend to like a filly, in order to trick them into stealing for her. Sometimes flawed, spiteful, accident prone, and occasionally even arrogant... but they're still the greatest ponies Equestria has ever seen, not the failures that Discord wanted them to be. That's sort of what I was implying at the end, when Dash decides that everything's going to be smooth sailing just as the plot of MMDW starts.
7512819
I'm sorry. I've read this story beginning to end. And months later, I still have to say that I not only didn't enjoy it, but it also LESSENED my ability to enjoy the show and the fandom in general and DISCOURAGED ME from wanting to try new stories. As I said, my voice is a minority of one, and I have to accept that reality that everyone else loved this story, but it doesn't change that your insistence that this is canon to the show by rejecting it being an alternate universe, was and is sincerely damaging. Since it destroys the idea that someone, even if flawed at their core, can still strive to be better than themselves without magical brainwashing and that kills me a little inside. It's how I feel whether I like it, or not. Congrats on writing something such an overwhelming number love.
7512848
I don't know if everyone else loved the story, but you definitely seem to be strongly on the side of not enjoying it. Sorry I wrecked your day.
Incidentally, I'm not claiming that this story is canon to the show. No story here is canon to the show. That's what fanfiction is.
7514214 Side note: The AU tag exists, on a site devoted to fanfiction. That should tell you that it's not just about being fanfiction, but about some specific, identifiable set of characteristics that only some fanfics satisfy. I'd say the tag belongs on a story if it meets one of these criteria:
* Explicitly-mentioned lore in the story conflicts with explicit lore in the show
* Show events don't happen in the same way
* A major hidden plot twist appears and forces reevaluation of large chunks of show events or lore, invalidating the normal, straightforward interpretations
* Events happen in the story that would require show events set at a later time to incorporate references to them in order to not look completely stupid (note that it is possible to "insert" a non-AU story in between canon episodes in many cases, as long as the additional events are sufficiently seamless that they don't require canon to adjust to them specifically)
This definitely fits "major hidden plot twist". In fact, it's basically the best possible example of how this makes something AU. There are some snarls other commenters have mentioned with explicit show lore, and there's a good chance later show events would at some point or other have needed to incorporate references to this to work things in sensibly, but the major thing is the way the premise requires utterly reworking the understanding of the show, seeing everything in a new light.
I believe this understanding of the AU tag fits the site tag FAQ fairly well:
And in general, I've never understood the resistance of some writers to applying tags that some readers complain about having missed. Do they expect to miss out on some readers who would try and enjoy the story, but only if they don't see Tragedy or AU or whatever on there? And is that really a good enough reason to risk just backlash from readers who *don't* like the story, and would have been better prepared or not tried it had the tag been there?
7519380
I'd say the tag belongs on a story if it's about alternate universes.
Arguing over whether a story "conflicts" with "explicit lore" is largely a matter of opinion, and doesn't really accomplish anything besides turn people against each other. For the vast majority of stories on here, I'm sure there's at least someone who thinks they contract show canon, and putting the tag on every story just makes it pointless. At that point, the tag becomes an arbitrary punishment inflicted on any story that people don't like loudly enough. It's like trying to use the AU tag to warn the show itself against going in a direction you don't want.
And... this might just be my opinion, but I don't like when authors feel obligated to tiptoe on eggshells, trying not to contradict any moment that appeared in the show (or some say, in the comic). I like stories where they try different things, take an established idea and go in a different direction with it. Isn't that what fanfiction is all about? It just doesn't feel like a thing we should be enforcing, that we should even be arguing over whether something conflicts with the show or not.
I guess what I'm trying to say is the tag you call "Alternate Universe" has a more appropriate name for the meaning you give it: "Canon Defilement." If you get "Canon Defilement" accepted as a tag I might add it, but that's really what we're talking about here, not alternate universes.
This story has 4000 views, and 101 faves.
If I cared about missing out on readers, I'd be writing about how the good changeling and Spike fall in love and have hot yaois with each other. So, no. That's not the reason I added the AU tag to Bloom Filter, but not Harmonized.
7520678 Me, I don't mind AU. (I do mind Tragedy in 90+% of cases.) So it's no skin off my nose. It's just that … well, this is a very clear case of an AU. Whereas a story about Silver Spoon and Sweetie Belle playing an MMO together unwittingly isn't, despite being quite a creative departure from the norm. And I don't really mind too much if a story that's *intended* to be canon-compatible has a few minor glitches here and there. But a story that, by its basic premise (none of the episodes we saw before MMC actually happened with the ponies we thought we saw), is AU from the start… I can't see any reason to leave the tag off. It's not a question of glitches or minor bits or fiddly opinions that could easily be argued six ways from Sunday. It's a simple question of the nature of the beast.
(The idea that AU is only for explicit multiverse shenanigans is not supported at all by the site FAQ.)
7520756
Well, I don't think my story is all that much of a departure from canon, but it is definitely a departure. But that's so insigificant it shouldn't even qualify as a tag, because it's just universal. What I mean is, and I don't really care about this, but just as a for example, I can pretty much "prove" that any story from here contracts canon. So...
The story you pointed out has Equestria with fully immersive virtual reality, and personal gaming rigs, which directly contradicts the show where they only had crude arcade machines. Don't even get me started on the electrical wiring that the show entirely lacks. And on top of that, Sweetie Belle gets the wrong cutie mark, which directly contradicts the show. That story is a crapsack world where ponies have to grow up with broken dreams and no opportunity in life, which is enough of a departure from the show that I would call it canon defilement. At least my terrible ponies are the exception to the rule! Well, except in that other story...
See how that works, though? There's just no way to avoid contradicting something in the show, unless you use an entirely different cast, setting, and universe. It doesn't matter though, because conflicting with canon is awesome!
7521023 I'll grant you the different cutie mark (although there's often an exception made for stories started well before canon Josses them), but the rest is just minor details, not the essence of a story.
Also, insisting on calling it "canon defilement" to the extent of "fixing" my quotes is just annoying. I don't mind AUs of almost any variety. That's not the problem, and AU is not a pejorative. Tags are descriptors, and most of them are supposed to indicate things some people like, some people don't, and some people only like in certain moods. So they need to be accurate to what the readers expect, and as far as I can tell, most readers on the site don't expect AU to mean literally "there are multiple alternate universes being interacted with in the story", nor yet "this is a fanfic". They expect "this is a fanfic that changes crucial things around a lot". "Equestria has somewhat more advanced electricity" doesn't really qualify for that. (On the other hand, "Equestria uses pervasive nanotech to create the effects known as 'magic'" certainly would.)