Apple Bloom was growing to hate school. Far from her fond memories of class with miss Cheerilee, high school was proving to be the most wearyingly senseless way to educate a youngster that she could possibly conceive of. But when peculiar dreams and even more peculiar phenomenon put Apple Bloom as far away from high school as she can be, it looks like the end of her life, not the beginning. With no hope for her future, she can only rely on the support of friends and loved ones to keep her spirits up. Then, things start to go ...awry...
Chapters (58)
Nobody has anything to say? Really? Although I would have skipped it out a little bit in the beginning.
I actually rather like this story, at least what I've read so far. I'm still working through it.
Interesting read so far.
Noticed something odd though:
Seems like some notes accidentally got included in the story.
--Spade
Do please continue. I can't wait to see what happens next.
Hey, not bad. Absolutely not the worst fic I've read. The first chapter did seem to drag on a bit, but your dialogue flows well. Some paragraphs do seem a bit repetitive, but honestly, well done.
woah, comments! This story was second priority to that other one, but I might take a look at it again now.
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Yeah that 1st chapter eh... describing all her classes really seems to drag on, especially when I remember for instance oh yeah she needs a math class too. It'd probably be better if I threw some actual interactions in there instead of just her reaction to the events of her day. But man, as essential as some of that stuff is it's kind of boring to make scenes about it, and the specific events really aren't as important as how the classes make her feel. "Then the Biology teacher talked about fungus, then gave us a quiz, then went over 42 slides etc"
Plus I mean come on what else am I going to write about it's already the shortest chapter.
Maybe I could frame it better than just listing the classes as she goes to them.
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Good catch about the notes. I do add commented out stuff here and there, just random possibilies to keep me consistent if I refer to them later. They should be elided from the chapter, but my filter wasn't cutting them out for a while. On a related note, it's hard finding named ponies to be adults, who aren't already taken as high schoolers (even just from the first movie).
I wonder if I could use foals for adults. There weren't many foal names taken for foal -> humans in the movie.
For shame, AB, not knowing what a cow's tail looks like.
You and me both. Loved you descriptions and science in this chapter.
Only thing... wouldn't the more logical conclusion be 'facilitate plantigrade locomation' rather than a bipedal stance? She hasn't had any issues standing upright yet. It's just standing on her heels that's been giving her issues. That's a digitigrade/plantigrade/unguligrade thing, not a bipedal/quadrupedal one.
Says the tall colourful woman...
Bah... now I have to camp out and wait for the next chapter. Alas, alas. Anyway, I enjoyed it so far. Let's see if the townsfolk come with pitchforks and torches after the news story. Or with gift baskets and condolences.
(I'm so excited!)
Right! Two things I forgot to mention in the last chapter-
Ah, the Scootaloo, child/relative of Cheerilee fanon. Haven't seen it in a while. Kinda prefer it over the orphan one.
Nice touch with Granny Smith's denture experience helping AB with the language.
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She couldn't turn her head 180 degrees yet, so give her a break!
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Well see, he's not a furry so he doesn't know of anything with legs like that that can stand on two of them.
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Maybe I should stop snarking in comments and work on it more then...
5618374 All of the breaks for AB. Well, most of them. (Got them on sale. Huge bargain.)
Hey! I learned about that distinction before I got into the furry fandom! In the Library! Mind you, most people don't make it a goal to at least skim through their school's encyclopedia collection, but still...
And why not do both? Snarking is so much fun. You'll fall out of practice and your skills will get all crusty if you don't.
Anyway, want a smore? I'll trade you for sum'more chapters.
Did that mean that those two are horses here?
( not that I have problem with that, just wondering)
fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/348/3/2/apple_bloom___equestria_girls_clothing_by_zacatron94-d6xvom6.png
poor AB ,she can't escape her cutenest
Please continue
Maybe alfalfa help( because human and horses can eat it)
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Well, one for Applejack and one for Big Mac, yeah. I think it's reasonable to only have two, but I sadly don't have any experience rounding up cattle, or owning horses for that matter. I once helped someone out who did own horses briefly though. They had about six, and no cattle that I could see. I guess they were for selling rides or... something.
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Well, humans can eat alfalfa sprouts at least.
homeremediesweb.com/images/product_alfalfa.jpg
vs
atascaderohayandfeed.com/images/alfalfa.jpg
I really like this story, thanks for sharing it with us. It feels very Kafka's metamorphosis inspired, except on a much lighter note. Is that what you were aiming for?
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Is it over you ended it really quick if it is
I liked it though it was very heart wrenching
Love this can't wait for more. Keep writing your really good at it.
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Yeah I wanted to end it on a horribly unsatisfying note because that's just what a terrible person I am, but fortunately the Apple family broke into my author's note and convinced me to continue with some good old Southern hospitality. Next chapter's a little under halfway through... I gotta work on the other story though for today.
Finally Applejack! YOu're finally going to talk to SUnset Shimmer like you should have done when this whole situation kicked off!
Dr Cureall, you're silly
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She did talk to Sunset three times already, but she avoided doing it in Apple Bloom's presence, so I couldn't really write it in without annoying short jerky perspective switches. Applejack did tell Apple Bloom of the one time she called... I probably could go in and flesh that moment out more, if it's so important. Trouble is it's not the thing Apple Bloom would be concerned with, whether or not Applejack is calling which of her friends, so Apple Bloom wouldn't really pay attention to it. It'd be easy for her to miss, so I didn't really detail it out.
5651738 oh...I guess i never noticed Applejack talk to Sunset about her sister turning into an animal, only asking about golden....okay yeah, i completely seemed to have discounted the previous conversations because Applejack was trying to be subtle about it.
ANd you do raise a good point. this story is from Apple Bloom's perspective told in third person, not a pure third person perspective it seems.
I guess i shouldn't be too critical of how these moments are written.
Sorry for my outburst. I'm not entirely sure what i was thinking. I know it's not my place to tell you how to write things in your story. But I am still loving the premise and progression.
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Wait, so if the comments section isn't the place to tell me how to write things in my story, then what is?
Applejack almost told Sunset about her sister turning into a horse, after a little emotional breakdown when Apple Bloom went upstairs to find herself a book to read. You can tell when it happened because from Sunset's perspective, Applejack in her third call mentions being late at milking the cows as an excuse.
5651789 It's more I feel as if i'm not qualified to tell you how to write your stuff. I can't Write my own ideas, so what right do i have to tell you how to write yours?
ANd WOw. I either forgot about those moments, or missed them in my first reading.
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Do I really need to write this entire past two days again, from Applejack's perspective, just to clear up what Applejack was doing when Apple Bloom wasn't around?
5651856 no man, it's fine the way it is. It's just that I don't have the story committed to memory with all the other stories i read. I'm sorry.
I bet it'll be quite the relief when Apple Bloom finds out that her diet won't be as extremely restricted as they assume it is right now.
Love the chapter. I can just feel how uncomfortable apple bloom is during the tests its awsome writing. But 9 minus 7 is 2 just so Ya know.
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You're sure there, AB? Sure sure?
You'd think AB would know just a bit more about the locations other mammals keep their mammaries. But hey!
Also it's good to see that they have apparently considered horses at last after way too long going on about cows?
That is the most touching thing I've heard all day!
The only problem I have with the story so far is it doesn't seem to have anything at all to do with efficiently encoding data presence in a compact bitfield by stacking multiple hash functions!
… What?
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41.media.tumblr.com/df9caf7da04a55fd2e86b882db96401c/tumblr_lkzs2kFWEO1qbjk24o1_r1_500.png
Well, yeah probably. Then again, she just found out she was a horse about 20 seconds ago. Maybe I'll substitute "know" for "notice". I think I was trying to make it look like she was so shocked she hadn't considered it, not that she had no idea humans have weird nipples.
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Are you sure about that, darling?
derpicdn.net/img/download/2013/8/14/399944__safe_solo_rarity_animated_grin_artist-colon-sirmasterdufel.gif
5683947 Fair enough. (Also man that Pinkie face is terrifying.
)
5683973 If you actually do put Bloom filters in Bloom Filter I ... I will stand in awe of your writing skills forever. That would be … the best. Possible. THING!
*faints dramatically*
The best part is that bacon is super non-kosher.
Couldn't get rid of.
*starts humming*
Oh man that closer.
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i.imgur.com/zWQ1Rq0.jpg
I don't even like bacon.
This is picking up quite nicely.
Really curious about what's happening behind the scenes with Twilight and Sunset,
especially what happened to Twilight's friends and maybe her Equestria.
--Spade
I was just thinking about this story today and BAM! Update!
There, there Apple Bloom. The siren call of triple layer chocolate fudge cake would get the best of most of us.
But of course, darling!
5684015 I just felt like letting you know: there is now a bookshelf with your name on it, in case you do in fact manage this astonishing feat.
No pressure.
This is a rather fascinating take on the Equestrian Girls world.
I'm somewhat reminded of the anime movie Urusei Yatsura 2: Beautiful Dreamer, in which everyone at school preparing for the school festival the next day. A day of building, organizing, jokes, comradery, and stress. But as the story goes on it becomes apparent that the last day before the school festival has been repeating, over and over again for years. Decades. Centuries, and only recently did they start to experience constant deja vu from having experienced every possible variation of that day over and over again.
Then once everyone really noticed it, it got weird, even worse as people started to disappear and the setting collapsed into desolation overnight.
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H-huh. I didn't... even know there was a sequel to Urusei Yatsura. That's pretty horrible. That's not what's going on here at all. Ugh, the very idea...
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It's the second movie out of six. There was the TV series, the OVAs, and the movies. The movies are about as non-canon as Equestria Girls stuff.
Sorry, the way they talk about those poor saps in high school or Sunset Shimmer's age, I got the impression they've been in High School forever, nothing ever changing and them not realizing it.
Certainly would make for an interesting diversion when the human turned pony Apple Bloom finally has an excuse to not go to school, starts realizing how wrong everything appears to be.
I'll admit... I'm confused. Is this post or pre the Stolen Crown? DT is less confused than I am.
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Yep, you sure are confused.
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Time looping alternate dimension safe mode for the equestrians.