Life a la Mode
There on the kitchen counter, Apple Bloom lay, looking like a fox in the hen house. She shrank before her sister’s panicked gaze, still buried hip deep in triple layer, double fudge cake. To say nothing about the triple layer, double fudge cake, with extra fudgey frosting, that was currently inside of Apple Bloom’s pleasantly purring belly.
“It’s all over you!” Applejack yelled, yanking Apple Bloom by her armpits up into the air, with splatters of chocolate cake going everywhere. “Why did you do this?! You didn’t eat any did you?! Did any get in your mouth?!”
“Ah ate...” Apple Bloom said hanging there disorientedly, “Too much.” If it wasn’t obvious, that is. Her belly was outright swollen, from how much cake she frantically scarfed down, before falling into a blissful stupor.
“How could you, Apple Bloom?!” Applejack exclaimed in horror, “You know what that’ll do to you!”
“Ah know!” Apple Bloom shouted back shrilly, “Ah was justh gonna eat a little bit ah jusht– ah couldn’ hold back!”
“What’s all the ruckus down here—oh no Apple Bloom what have ye done?!” Granny Smith exclaimed after trundling downstairs and setting eyes on the chocolate cake and the mostly chocolate pony in Applejack’s arms. Apple Bloom tried to protest or something but Granny just ran over and grabbed Apple Bloom from behind, warring with Applejack for the pony as she shouted, “When did she eat it?!” to Applejack.
“Last night!” Apple Bloom cried out. “Stoppit lemme go you’re hurtin’ me!”
Big Macintosh was just there in her face then, exclaiming with terrified eyes, “What have you—”
“Ah ate the cake!” Apple Bloom shouted pitifully. At least Granny wasn’t trying to haul her out of Applejack’s hands anymore. “Ah’m sorry I– ugh...” a twisting in her belly made her suddenly feel very bloated and ill. Was this it? Was this the end?!
Applejack put her down on the kitchen table, where Apple Bloom clutched her round tummy painfully. “What do we do?!” Applejack shouted as the three crowded around Apple Bloom there on the table, “Are ya hurt? Are you dyin’? Please don’t die on me, Apple Bloom!”
Apple Bloom’s belch resounded through the rafters of the farm house. That did it. She felt awesome again. Nothing could ruin her day now. She knew she should care, and be scared and all, but she couldn’t care about anything anymore. It was great.
“Ah’ll call the vet!” Granny shouted, running for the house phone. Applejack remained by Apple Bloom, the girl squeezing her legs together and fussing over the little pony. Apple Bloom noticed, belatedly, that Applejack hadn’t even had a chance to get her pants on. She was there in her nightgown. Applejack must have sussed something was wrong, and just come running down here without a thought, only to find the worst possible thing!
Apple Bloom should have felt terrified and ashamed. She lowered her ears, trying to look guilty and sympathetic towards her sister. “Ah’m sorry big sis,” she said woefully, “Ah don’t feel bad though. I’m fine!”
“You’re fine now,” Applejack said disconsolately, “But you just wait until it hits you, and then see how fine you are!”
“Already hit me,” Apple Bloom mumbled dazedly, “Big time...”
“Just, just keep it together sis,” Applejack stammered. “Don’t let it get you let us know if you start feeling anything just keep it together you can do this.” Unable to make sense of Applejack’s word salad, Apple Bloom just lay back on the table, with her hooves folded compactly against her chest. Despite the urgency of the situation, Apple Bloom felt so peaceful, like her eyes were just going to close all by themselves.
“No Apple Bloom, you gotta stay with us!” Applejack shouted, drawing Apple Bloom’s glance of irritation. Heedlessly, Applejack continued looming right up to Apple Bloom enunciating loudly right in her face, “Don’t! Go into! The light!”
“Applejack, you’re hurtin’ mah ears!” Apple Bloom protested, reaching up to cover her ears in her hooves. As she stretched, it made the sugary residue of cake filling crack against her stretching hide. “Ah’m fine!” she said unconvincingly.
“No you’re not!” Applejack insisted stubbornly.
“Yes ah am!” Apple Bloom insisted stubbornly.
“No you’re not!” Applejack ins... it continued on something like, this for a while.
When the vet’s car screeched up, Apple Bloom and Applejack were arguing over every little thing. Big Macintosh was just sitting on the couch, with his head in his hands. Granny was charging out at top grannyspeed to greet the doctor. So, that’s what the blue haired vet ran into, is Apple Bloom licking the chocolate off her forehoof, and Applejack shouting,
“Stop doing that! You’ll get yourself sick!” and Apple Bloom shouting back,
“I already ate plenty! It caint get any worse!”
“Leave it alone!”
“But ah’m all sticky!”
“Is...” the vet paused and leaned over to Granny Smith, asking as if she didn’t believe her eyes. “Is that pony covered in chocolate?”
“Ah told you, she ate somethin’ she shouldn’t have!” Granny said angrily back.
“She ate... chocolate cake??” Dr. Cureall exclaimed, utterly baffled.
“Last night,” Applejack said, hopping in front of the doctor, “She’s been sittin’ there with it in her tummy all night! It was the faculty meeting it was supposed to... we should never have made it!”
The vet turned just slightly to face Applejack asking her, “How much cake?”
Applejack only whimpered in response, so Apple Bloom herself just shouted “A lot!” vindictively, over to the doctor standing at the door. Apple Bloom wasn’t going to walk over to the doctor though, because she was feeling so very relaxed. She just figured she as going to lie here on the kitchen table forever.
“Chocolate.” the vet repeated faintly. Applejack nodded. “And frosting?” Cureall asked weakly.
“So much frosting!” Apple Bloom exclaimed dreamily on her back.
The vet looked from Applejack, to Apple Bloom lying there on the kitchen table, to the ruined cake still left otherwise untouched on the counter. Then she turned around, and walked out the door.
“Hey—come back!!” Applejack shrieked, charging after Dr. Cureall.
“No!” the vet shouted back, still stomping off, “I’m done! I give up!” When the door slammed shut, the doctor’s voice grew too faint to hear after that, which of course meant Apple Bloom kept on hearing it. “I can’t do this!” the doctor’s voice drifted back quietly. “I’m a veterinarian, not a psychic type!”
“You gotta do something!” Applejack’s voice drifted back while Apple Bloom sat up craning her ears toward the door. “Mah sister is in trouble! She could be dyin’!”
“She should be dead!” the vet’s voice shouted back with an angry stomp. “She should have exploded! This is not an exaggeration! Her intestinal flora should have produced so much carbon dioxide from all that sugar that her organs ruptured! It doesn’t make any sense, and if it doesn’t make any sense, then there’s nothing I can do!”
“Please, ah’m beggin’ you!” Applejack said. From the thump of knees on grass it sounded like she was literally begging her. “Just check her out, please? You gotta at least try! Ah don’t want my baby sister to die!” Apple Bloom turned her head away then, deliberately facing her ears in the other direction, so as not to hear her sister begin bawling like a five year old.
Some time later, the front door swung open to reveal a solemn tear streaked Applejack. Behind her came the vet, the two of them walking in as per some silent agreement, that Apple Bloom had managed to prevent herself from hearing, thank goodness. Apple Bloom looked up at Dr. Cureall silently, and guiltily. The doctor walked up to her equally silently, looking her up and down. “Missus doctor,” Apple Bloom said in a tiny voice, cringing away. “Ah’m sor–”
She didn’t expect the doctor to slump down into a chair at the table, bury her face in her own hands, and say in a very troubled tone, “This is all my fault...”
Apple Bloom paused uncertainly. There wasn’t a word for how uncertain she felt. “It’s okay doctor Cureall,” she said bewilderedly, trying to appease the doctor’s... whatever this was. “I forgive you? Ah feel fine. Ah was tryin’ to eat just grass, but ah just couldn’t!” Apple Bloom had since managed to stand up on the table, and jumped off of it, wincing as the sticky cake filling tugged at her fur. She landed on all fours, and underneath, her belly... mostly didn’t touch the floor. She then walked to the foot of the doctor’s ...feet, putting a concerned hoof on Dr. Cureall’s shin, and looking up at her.
Dr. Cureall’s face left her hands, and she shuddered a sigh. “I should never have told you what to eat, Apple Bloom,” she said penitently. “I should have realized what was going on. I didn’t even think... I thought I knew what was going on, but I knew nothing. I-I’m sorry.”
The vet lifted her head, and addressed everyone else, saying, “I’m sorry, everyone!” It was kind of awkward the way she said it though, because of the bright tone she used, and she didn’t say anything after that, just looked at them expectantly.
“So...” Apple Bloom said uncertainly, “I cain eat chocolate?”
“Apple Bloom, you’re not an animal,” the doctor asserted, then thought better of it and said, “I mean, you’re not a horse. I don’t know what you are, and I’ve never studied anything like it before. Why are you asking me what you can eat then? You’re more of an expert than I am!”
“Ah don’t know though!” Apple Bloom protested sharply.
“That’s the thing Apple Bloom,” the doctor said to her. “If you don’t know, then nobody knows. I told you what to eat, and all I did was make you sick!”
“You didn’t make me sick!” Apple Bloom protested. “Ah didn’t eat mah grass just like you told me to! This weren’t your fault!”
The doctor looked down at Apple Bloom incredulously. “Did you not understand me?” she asked accusingly. “Eating nothing but grass was making you hypoglycemic, and it never even occurred to me! You clearly have to eat more than just grass, and I couldn’t see that because all I saw was a horse!”
“Ah have to eat more than just grass?” Apple Bloom asked hopefully. The vet nodded. “Ah have to eat more than just grass!” Apple Bloom exclaimed in sudden clarity. She hugged the vet around her legs saying, “Oh, thank you thank you!”
She turned and stomped on all fours, facing her family then, and declared to them defiantly, “Ah have to eat more than just grassh!” Apple Bloom’s fierce crouch made her belly touch the floor again though, so she stood up more, and said a little more lucidly to them,
“Ah have to eat more than just grass! Ah been eating hay all this time, and feeling like eating other stuff, because I can! You caint make me just eat hay, because it ain’t good for me! Ya heard the doctor! Ah ate the cake an’ ah’m fine! Ah’m not gonna die, ah’m not gonna get sick, an’ ah’m not sorry!”
“C-can she eat meat now?” Applejack asked the vet, all flabbergasted.
The vet glared at her and responded, “Why is everyone asking me? Apple Bloom can eat rocks, for all I know! Just... just eat a little bit and see if it bothers you. That’s my answer for every food, because I Just Don’t Know.”
Apple Bloom would have consoled the agitated doctor some more, but she was unavailable right now, due to slipping into a drooling hypnotic trance at the thought that maybe she could once again eat bacon.
In an undisclosed location far across town, Twilight Sparkle sat there in the seedy motel they hid out at after the realtors came back to that house, the cot underneath her aching in its springs. She continued to pet the green and purple dog in her lap, her best assistant now considerably reduced in his capabilities, along with all the rest of them. Thankfully, being a book rest was still within his capabilities, so she continued to read what she could about this fascinating but terribly frustrating world.
At least Spike didn’t mind comforting her, and she certainly understood his appreciation for what these miraculous hands could accomplish against someone’s hide. But now, she wasn’t concerned with her faithful friend’s ability, or dignity. It was another thing entirely that darkened her brow, shaded beneath her clean cut bangs.
“We’re doing the right thing, aren’t we?” Twilight asked.
Leaning precariously back in a chair, by their little kitchenette, Sunset Shimmer tossed a ball up into the air again, and again. She didn’t respond for a while, but then said in partial acquiescence, “It worked, didn’t it? The facture is expanding quickly, and it won’t be long before we can put all this behind us.”
“She was crying,” Twilight said somberly. “Is there something about it that hurts her? Why was she so distressed? What could we be doing wrong? And why is she a pon–”
“I don’t know!” Sunset snapped, the ball hitting the ceiling as she threw it a little bit too hard. “There’s no reason she should be a pony, and there’s no reason her health should continue to deteriorate like this!”
“If only Applejack could tell us what’s wrong,” Twilight fretted. Spike had gone to sleep on her lap it seemed, so he didn’t bear the brunt of her terrible wrath just now. She made sure to give him extra scratches, around behind his ears, just in case. “Your Applejack, I mean,” she quietly qualified.
Sunset stopped throwing the ball, just looking up at the ceiling. Then she started to laugh, and it wasn’t the healthiest laugh. Her chair legs thumped into the floor, as she gasped in harshly manic, uncontrolled laughter, more full of released pain than of joy. Twilight let her do that, if feeling very uncomfortable about it. Sunset managed to collect her wits eventually. “I can’t believe it’s really happening,” Sunset said, staring at her hands as though they were alien to her. Which they were, once, long ago. “After all these times, and thanks to you, we finally really did it!”
“Thanks to both of us,” Twilight Sparkle said, giving Sunset a meaningful look. “And let’s not forget about Apple Bloom. Whatever she’s done, we owe everything to her.”
“She could have done it before!” Sunset shouted in sudden anger. She caught herself, and said in a more level tone, “I just don’t get why it’s happening now and not... before...”
“Our last run may have had something to do with it,” Twilight drawled wryly. Sunset laughed at that, a much healthier laugh of genuine appreciation.
“I thought it was a done deal back then,” she said. “Sort of glad you managed to stop me before I went and screwed up again.”
“I think of all ponies, you have the least to apologize for,” Twilight said authoritatively to Sunset. “You made a mistake once, when you were young and impetuous, and it’s been how many years since then?”
“87,” Sunset said dully. “I’m practically an old mare by now, or at least I should be!” Her words were harsh, but her demeanor was relatively relaxed about it. Twilight had to assume that Sunset was being humorous in this, not so much serious about it. Twilight had to count on her fingers a little bit to make sure of that number, but she smiled when she did saying,
“You’re a good way from that, and you know it. You might be old enough to be my mother, but my mother’s not an old mare by anypony’s judgement!”
“I’d really appreciate those years better,” Sunset said, “If I wasn’t stuck like this the whole time.”
Twilight shook her head sadly. “Imagine how it’s been for–”
“Yeah, I know,” Sunset cut in. “These poor saps. I don’t even think they know how to live beyond this high school of theirs.”
“Our world can ostensibly provide aid, when the portal opens again,” Twilight pointed out. Sunset just nodded silently. Then Sunset Shimmer lay her hands on her knees, staring downward as if deep in thought.
She clapped her knees then, standing up and saying, “I’m going to talk to Applejack.”
Twilight blinked in wide eyed surprise. Then her eyes softened and she said, “That’s very brave of you, Sunset.”
“You have no idea,” Sunset exclaimed with a tense grin. “I’m not used to this. Anything I do could screw everything up and I’d have no way to make up for it. If it’s not perfect, I feel like... I just can’t make mistakes anymore.”
“You can always make up for your mistakes,” Twilight said sympathetically. “You just can’t... y’know...” She waved a hand unexpressively.
“Yeah...” Sunset trailed off dully. She shook her head though, and said, “But we did it. They did it. That door is blown wide open and there’s no way to shut it, not accidentally, not even if I tried. I’m going to talk with Applejack. Try to find out what’s wrong with Apple Bloom. I hope they’re treating her alright.”
“Well, they have horses,” Twilight pointed out. “Those are fairly similar to ponies.”
“The horses of this world are a lot different than the horses of our world,” Sunset said warily. “I think it might be past time to offer her my advice. We might be the only ones in the world who know something about ponies, and Apple Bloom might need that knowledge someday, possibly sooner than later!”
“Well, you know what you’re doing...” Twilight said trying not to sound disappointed.
“Hey if the facture continues to realize,” Sunset said lifting the ball in her hands. She tossed it at Twilight who, thanks to a lot of telegraphed movements from Sunset, managed to put her book down long enough to catch it. “Then there’s no reason you can’t come see all my friends again. I bet they’ll even be friends with you, right off the bat. I understand why you’d want to avoid them but... hey, we did it. So there’s no more reason to do so!”
Twilight’s smile grew at that. “You know, you’re right,” she said wistfully. “And if not them, then perhaps even the Principals, or officials from the city. I’m pretty sure your version of Mayor Mare is down running town hall. We could start diplomatic relations, even trade agreements!” She squeed in excitement.
Sunset raised an eyebrow at her.
“Ohh, hush!” Twilight huffed embarassedly, falling on her back on the cottage bed, and pulling Spike with her to her chest. It woke him up, but he just yawned, and went back to sleep without another word. Typical Spike.
Meanwhile, it was after curfew, after the lights had gone out in the orphanage, and everything was still. Every evening for the past four days, a plucky lass known as Diamond Tiara would crouch under her blanket, peering at the laptop she’d taken without permission, and not yet gotten caught for it. She had to take it, because she had to know. She had to prove to herself each and every night that what she knew was real.
So, after the lights went out, she would uncover the laptop from its hiding place, and cover herself in a blanket to hide the light. Her roommates could hear what she was listening to, but she turned the volume down as much as she could, while still being able to hear it, and they hadn’t ratted on her just yet. She’d pay for that eventually, but they were still trying to figure how to use their new leverage against her.
There by a dimly glowing light, illuminating the silouette of the pink and white haired fashionista-in-training, a mere monochrome shadow underneath her blanket, there in the darkness the sights and sounds would once again relieve the tension in her head, and make it so she could sleep again, Apple Bloom’s bright tones came over the speaker, from the recorded conversation.
“They shtarted at 6 this mornin’ but, ah didn’t really notice until after lunch today...”
Apple Bloom never repeated her incident with the cake, but that cake was it, thoroughly and totally. Her friends couldn’t help her, her clothes couldn’t help her, but that cake golly it darn near saved her little pony life! She was running around outside all morning and dancing and laughing and feeling great! Her dress had grass stains when she was done with it, and Big Macintosh suggested that until they had her more clothing she should probably only wear it for guests. And Apple Bloom was ...surprisingly okay with that. Because she was okay, and she wasn’t going to let anything else get her down.
She probably would have made herself sick, devouring every unhealthy and godforsaken food item in the larder, but thankfully Applejack still had a healthy sense of paranoia, and she made sure to impress on Apple Bloom, with force if necessary, that the vet had only said try a little bit, not a lot. So Apple Bloom got to have energy, and play around like the cute little pony she felt like again. And if she never touched another blade of grass it would be too soon!
...that afternoon, Apple Bloom was sitting there munching on hay again, trying not to draw attention to it. She thought she couldn’t stand hay anymore, but she got so hungry for it then, and well, she had to eat some, to make everything else go down easy. It was as if Apple Bloom was a pony, but only half a pony, and half a girl. Which made sense, since she still had her colors, and she still had her voice, albeit a lot higher and more prone to squeaking. It didn’t really make sense, but Apple Bloom wasn’t going to question it. If she had to eat a little bit of hay every now and again, in order to enjoy herself a nice sizzling strip of bacon, then that was just fine.
Another weekend came, and sure enough Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were available again, and they were all too happy to make amends.
“Y’all don’t have to make amends, Sweetie!” Apple Bloom protested from her position on the living room rug. “Ah’m the one who was doing things wrong, an’ I fixed it, an’ ah’m fine!”
“Yeah, well,” Scootaloo said, clasping a dismissive hand behind her head, “Well, Applejack really wanted us to come over, so you’re just gonna have to deal with it.”
“Oh, so Applejack sent you here, did she?” Apple Bloom said disapprovingly, looking at the silouette of her sister through the curtains, clearly doing Very Important things by her truck.
“No!” Scootaloo said waving her hands, “I mean, we wanted to come. I mean, she just suggested it and we really—”
“It’s fine,” Apple Bloom told her, turning with a smile. “Ah cain’t thank you enough for comin’. It’s so boring just sitting around the farm all the time! I dunno how the other critters do it. It’s so bad, ah almost miss goin’ to school.”
“Well, why can’t you?” Sweetie Belle asked innocently.
“Y’ever seen a horse goin’ to school?” Apple Bloom asked her grumpily.
“No,” Sweetie answered, “But I’ve never seen a pony who could talk, either!”
Apple Bloom blushed, saying “You’re really dead set on that whole ‘pony’ thing, huh?”
Sweetie shrugged. “It sounds better, doesn’t it?”
Apple Bloom opened her mouth to answer, then thought better of herself, then she stood up with her rather messy ‘visitor dress’ draping around her legs making her look more like a little dirty grey caterpillar with a pony’s head, than a pony.
“So what are we doin’?” Apple Bloom asked excitedly, feeling the energy coursing through her veins. “Y’wanna see what I can eat? Wanna go play on the fence? I got a ball we could kick around! I can kick it way far. You wanna see the pasture? We got all sorts of cows out there!”
“Let’s go see the horses!” Scootaloo said eagerly.
“The horses?!” Apple Bloom suddenly exclaimed in dread.
She even backed up a step. She’d been avoiding the horses like the plague, ever since she turned into one. She hadn’t even been thinking about them anymore. Big Macintosh and Applejack just went out, and magically brought the cows in all on their own, and Winona and Gummy were not even a factor of consideration.
“I want to see if you can talk to them!” Scootaloo cheered, nodding with a wide grin.
“Ah g-guess we could ah mean,” Apple Bloom stammered, “But ah don’t think ah can talk to them. I ain’t a regular horse, after all!”
It was Sweetie Belle who gave a disappointed pout at that, but Scootaloo said challengingly to Apple Bloom, “Hey, you never know if you don’t try. I bet you haven’t even seen the horses yet yourself!”
Apple Bloom said in an outraged tone, “Yes I—okay, yeah ya got me.”
Defeated, she walked between her towering friends, through the front door they came, saying “C’mon, they should be out in the corral this time of day.”
“You want us to carry you?” Sweetie Belle suggested hopefully.
Apple Bloom shook her head, “Now why would you do that?!”
“Well it’s just our legs are longer...” Sweetie said, with a disappointed pout.
“That right?” Apple Bloom grinned at her, “I’d like ta see you keep up!” She trotted off, which was kind of a two beat scissor step, and that alone was fast enough to keep up with them walking. So she trotted faster until it switched on its own into a gallop, making good distance from them before Scootaloo realized, and started to charge after Apple Bloom. The little pony laughed her head off, running for the love of it. She may have had little stubby legs, but she had four of them, and that left even her athletic friend hard pressed to keep up.
Scootaloo was still trying to keep pace with her, when they got to the corral. She and Apple Bloom both stood there panting, while Scootaloo leaned on the fence holding the horses in. Sweetie Belle came running up herself, shouting “Wait up!” from a distance, as the delicate little girl approached. And that shout brought, well, one of the horses to come over, looking at what’s going on. Apple Bloom found herself backing up, despite trying to put on a face of bravado. She knew they were going to be big, but she didn’t think Winona was going to be this big.
As a mountain of horse thundered up to the fence of the corral, stuck her fat neck over the fence and immediately began whuffling around for treats, Apple Bloom just found herself staring at Winona’s big long nose, and her beady little eyes that twinkled in the sunlight. You couldn’t tell if she was looking at you, but she was looking at you. Which is to say she was looking down at Apple Bloom with the most confused expression a horse could ever adopt. Which is to say, a look of complete indifference.
Apple Bloom’s tail bowed as she inadvertently backed right up into Scootaloo’s legs. She looked back, and up, and Scootaloo was looking at her expectantly with a big excited smile. Now Apple Bloom was confused. Did Scootaloo want something?
“Go on,” Scootaloo said eagerly, “Try to talk to her!”
Apple Bloom blinked, and then her ears went flat. “Now hold on,” she said turning to Scootaloo irritably, “Ah ain’ got no supernatural powers to speak with horses. Ah may look like one, but she’s way bigger, and... and ah can talk, not whinny!”
“Couldn’t you at least try?” Scootaloo said pouting disappointedly. Apple Bloom took a look behind her, shaking her head.
“No way,” she said assertively. “Ah might get bit! Just look at how nervous she is. Cain’t you see something’s got her spooked? She’s just gonna run off anyway.”
“She looks fine to me,” Sweetie Belle said uncertainly, staring at Winona and keeping her distance.
“We never spooked her before,” Scootaloo said insistently. “She knows us already, and she’s super brave for a horse.”
Apple Bloom stuck a hoof toward what she could see through the fence, saying quickly, “Yeah, but her legs are all stiff like she’s liable to bolt and her lip’s just a bit curled like when you’re real nervous. Just look at the angle of her tail, and she’s got that look in her eyes like she don’t know what the fuck she’s looking at—” Winona bolted, dashing off to the other side of the corral.
“Y’see?” Apple Bloom said plainly, almost relieved to say, “Ah cain’t communicate with horses. They just look the same to me! Just bigger, and lots bigger. And weirder, if that’s possible.”
There was a significant reluctant pause in her friends, which made Apple Bloom think they weren’t exactly taking her seriously, when Sweetie Belle said, “Why don’t we try Gummy?”
Apple Bloom sighed disgustedly, dragging a hoof down her own comparatively long face.
Gummy was an older horse. He was Big Mac’s big baby, despite being beyond the prime of his life. Apple Bloom did not look forward to when they were going to have to get a new Gummy. She was no dummy; she knew a thing or two about mortality, and hamsters that die on you, just because you forgot to feed them ...for a week. And Gummy was looking his years. Glassy eyes out of focus, old teeth worn smooth, yellowed and ringy. If it bothered him, nobody would ever be able to tell, because this was a horse who had seen it all. Absolutely nothing phased him.
So really, it made him ideal for the CMC to experiment with, using Apple Bloom as the guinea pig. Except for the fact that nothing phased him, so he didn’t react to anything they tried. Scootaloo climbed in and actually led him over to the fence, which he did amiably. He just stood there though, looking enigmatically down at Apple Bloom standing there at the foot of the fence.
“Hey there... Gummy,” Apple Bloom said in a less than impressed tone. He didn’t react. “Mah friends think I got some magic ability to talk to horses now, just because I’m a pony,” she informed him. He blinked at her... slowly. “You wanna just tell them how they’re all wasting their time?” she requested politely. “You’ll want to phrase it in plain English and not magic secret horse speak.”
“Okay, okay, I get it!” Scootaloo said, blushing with frustration, letting Gummy’s lead loose so he could wander off, as amiably as he had approached. He didn’t wander off though, just stayed standing there, blinking every now and again. “Sorry I even brought it up,” Scootaloo grumbled embarassedly.
“No, it’s okay Scootaloo,” Apple Bloom admitted, hopping up onto the fence and balancing on its edge on three legs. Her plan worked, and she could reach a hoof up to scratch the groove under Gummy’s chin, just the way he loved it. “You got me over here, didn’t you?” she said wobbling as Gummy leaned his head against her hoof. “Ah been avoidin’ the horses and you showed me that ah was scared over–woAH!” a squeal belted out of her, as Gummy’s tongue managed to lick her entire body. Now her dress was even more ruined!
She hopped down from the fence, shaking off as best she could without disarraying herself further, shouting, “Gummy! Ewww!”
Scootaloo vaulted the fence, to land beside Sweetie Belle, and Gummy finally meandered away.
“I really thought we were onto something,” Sweetie grumbled cutely, leaning her butt against the fence and cupping her hand under her chin.
“Well y’ain’t,” Apple Bloom said prancing in front of them a bit smugly, “Because ah’m as normal as ever, and that’s fine with me!”
Scootaloo and Sweetie were looking at her a bit critically, but Scoots had a great idea. “You wanna go toss the ball around or something?” she suggested offhandedly. Apple Bloom hadn’t had anyone to do that with before, except the wall!
“Do ah ever!” Apple Bloom exclaimed, rearing up to kick in the air and whinnying happily, before charging off toward the farm house again. “Come on!” she shouted back to the slowpokes by the fence. “Y’comin’ or not?”
Before they came jogging after her, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle shared a meaningful look, and Scootaloo said, “Do you want to tell her, or should I?”
They didn’t actually bring it up until much later, when a quiet whinny snuck out of Apple Bloom again as they settled down after their games later in the afternoon.
“You know it’s alright if you’re different,” Sweetie blurted out. To Apple Bloom’s regret, Sweetie added, “Really really different.”
Apple Bloom settled on her haunches saying tiredly, “What’s this about, Sweetie?”
“I’m just saying you still have what’s important,” she said, “And there’s nothing to be ashamed about, if those differences aren’t bad. In fact, I think they’re really neat!”
“What... differences, essactly?” Apple Bloom said, her mood dipping gloomily as she really did not like where this was going.
And Scootaloo went right there, saying, “So...... you can whinny now?”
Apple Bloom actually looked at her blankly at that, saying, “Um... no? When did I ever whinny?”
“Just now!” Scootaloo said, “And back at the horse corral. Can you do it again?”
Apple Bloom blushed, saying, “T-that wasn’t whinnying tha’ was–um... that was just a little giggle!” It wasn’t whinnying, right? She sounded different, but not that much like a horse, right?
“Try giggling again,” Sweetie said encouragingly, with full attention on Apple Bloom.
“Y-y’cain’t giggle on command, Sweetie,” Apple Bloom said nervously, her tail curling around the base of her thighs, trapping the dress against her. “Ah just don’t feel like it now,” she said a bit sullenly.
Her friends nodded at her understandingly. Then Scootaloo asked, “Hey Sweetie, do you think Apple Bloom is still ticklish on her belly?”
“Don’t you dare!” Apple Bloom exclaimed horrified, scrambling to her hooves even as the other two lunged for her. She put up a good fight but they totally had a size advantage, and also, she was ticklish on her belly. So it wasn’t long before even she couldn’t ignore the horselike noises she kept laughing out around her normal laughs, with those capable little white and pumpkin orange fingers sliding all up and down her belly, leaving her with no possible action other than wiggling helplessly on the ground.
She tried to laugh normally, she really did, but... they didn’t even care when she couldn’t, and some weird noise came out of her sometimes. They couldn’t possibly understand what it was like to have your own voice sounding different than you’ve always lived with, but at the same time they didn’t judge her, and it really did seem like they thought it was cool. They even managed to convince her to try it on her own, though it was hard to tell if Apple Bloom’s best effort was a horse noise, or just sort of clearing her throat, sort of. They said it sounded great though, so she’d have to take their word for it.
After they got done with that, and started sharing stories about school, school, and unending monotony respectively, Apple Bloom noticed her sister had gotten back from school, and was standing there talking with that new friend of hers, that flame haired girl who was a Dramatist if Apple Bloom recalled, some sort of mythological expert. Apple Bloom wondered if that Sunset lady was going to come over and gawk at her, or maybe be staying for dinner, but Applejack just gave her a ride back to the bus stop, and she left on her own. Applejack had the strangest taste in friends sometimes.
It got Apple Bloom thinking, though. There was one friend that Apple Bloom hadn’t seen, who didn’t have parents or sisters to drive her around places. When coming to pick up Sweetie Belle, Sweetie’s sister just kept her distance, kind of stared at Apple Bloom, like she had some kind of disease. But Rarity was still Sweetie’s family, and that meant something. Scootaloo was even better off, since Cheerilee didn’t seem to mind Apple Bloom being a horse. People like Ms. Cheerilee could just take the strangest things in stride, though Apple Bloom wasn’t entirely sure Cheerilee thought she was a person still. Some people were just... hard to convince of that fact.
But every one of her friends had someone to watch over them, someone to support them when they needed it, and drive them way out to Sweet Apple Acres, except for one. There was a third friend of Apple Bloom’s, who didn’t have any family, who couldn’t drive out to Sweet Apple Acres, and whom Apple Bloom hadn’t seen at all since she changed.
Dinner that night was delicious, one might needlessly add. Green beans, butter rolls and glazed ham, with Apple Bloom leaning heavily (but not totally) toward the green beans, and less toward the ham. It was funny how vegetables tasted so much better now, yet she still ended up eating a bunch of hay.
Apple Bloom didn’t understand how, or why her diet worked, or how she always had room for dessert, but she hadn’t gotten sick since she gave up trying to understand it, and just eating what tasted good seemed to work best. She was eating the same food she ever did, but just in a lot different amounts and proportions than she did before. That wasn’t really the subject of her concern tonight though.
“Can Diamond Tiara come over sometime, too?” Apple Bloom asked over a mouthful of green beans. “Like Sthweetie an’ hold on,” she swallowed, “Like Sweetie and Scootaloo?”
Applejack looked up from cutting the roast with her knife and fork (they pre-cut the bit of meat on Apple Bloom’s plate), and responded, “That new friend o’ yours? Ah don’t see why not. Do y’have the phone number of her parents by any chance?”
“Oh! Uh...” Apple Bloom bit her lip, her tail fidgeting conspicuously as she tried to figure how to say this diplomatically. “She don’t exactly have a phone, y’know because she’s all livin’ at the uh... you know she lives at the orphanage, right?”
“Aw, meadow muffins Apple Bloom, why didn’t you say so?” Applejack groaned in a disappointed tone. “That’s a mite bit more complicated.”
“Ah know, ah just–” Apple Bloom frowned, not sure why she was so dead set on getting Tiara over here to laugh at her. “Ah don’t know how well she’s gettin’ on with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, without me around,” Apple Bloom pondered carefully. “Her old friend’s always busy, and Scoots don’t like her much at all. So ah dunno how she’s been lately, and all. Diamond Tiara, ah mean.”
“Orphanage should have a director,” Granny Smith said instructionally. “Yer gotta call him, set up an appointment. They’ll have to schedule an inspection, make sure your house is a safe place to be in. Ah remember your great aunt Ethel took to an orphan as a friend when she was a little girl, an’ she had ‘em over all the time.
“That could take weeks, though!” Apple Bloom protested.
“It’s jus’ the first time,” Granny said with a sad smile. “Orphanages got a lot more rigamarole than straight out families do.”
“Y’got the whole rest of the school year,” Applejack said consolingly, “We’ll take care of that orphanage business, an’ you’ll be seein’ your friend before you know it.”
“Ah guess so,” Apple Bloom said uneasily, “I just feel like it’ll be a problem tom—sooner, than later, if I don’t do something about it.”
“Why’s that?” Applejack asked innocently enough. Trouble is, Apple Bloom could only stare at her remaining beans and say,
“Ah don’t know, just a feeling ah guess. She’s a lot more sensitive than she looks, ah guess, an’ I’m jus’ worried about... her.”
“Ain’t nothing we can do until tomorrow,” Granny said firmly. “So don’t worry yourself over it.”
“Okay Granny,” Apple Bloom said, “An’ thanks... an’ ah’m just gonna go watch the sunset, okay?”
Applejack leaned back saying, “Reckon ah might join you,” in a undecided tone.
“Any time you want,” Apple Bloom said, “But don’ take too long or you’ll miss the green flash.”
“Ah’ll be putterin’ around in the kitchen,” Granny said, standing up from the table. Apple Bloom left next, pausing to grab another mouthful of hay she could chew on her way, and trotted out to Promise Peak. It was safe for her to go without a word because everyone knew this is where she went to go stargazing and sunset watching. She’d done it more regularly since becoming a pony, mostly because she didn’t have homework to do, but also because she just needed a way to feel special, like something she could call her own will.
Apple Bloom enjoyed the sunset, watching it with her sister and brother, who climbed up the steep incline more clumsily than her light easy bouncing gait ascended it. Granny didn’t make the trip, but that was okay. The poor gal was hard set enough to move around normally, with all that extra weight on her. Still, Apple Bloom didn’t dawdle up here much longer past sunset. She charged down all the way to the farm house, and accosted Granny who was in the kitchen baking cookies. Not just to get free cookie batter, but also to remind Granny of how important she was to Apple Bloom. But also free cookie batter.
And Apple Bloom could get free cookie batter, because it wasn’t hurting her! Not as long as she didn’t eat too much, at least. But Apple Bloom was already in high school, even if she didn’t look it, and she was a mature and capable individual who could restrain herself from pigging out on cookie dough. No, really.
It was kind of silly in fact, because everyone had started treating her like a little kid again these days. They couldn’t help it, with how cute and little she was! She didn’t blame them, but she found it kind of annoying. Did Applejack really have to safety proof the corners on all the tables in the house? It was one time!
Soon, Apple Bloom nestled all snug in her bed, feeling full of vitality (and cookie dough) now that she figured what was wrong with her diet. She wondered about why she was a pony, and how she’d made it this far without something going horribly wrong. She felt inadequate from not having schooling or education, but her life was still worth a whole lot of something, if only it would just make a lick of sense. At least she slept well, and for the first time in many nights, she had a visitor in her dreams.
It was just an ordinary dream at first—well, not a nice one though. Apple Bloom had her Algebra and English books, except not only was she a tiny little pony, but they were even more huge, like the size of a whole wall of a whole room. She tried to lift them to read them, so she wouldn’t fail all her classes, but everyone just laughed at her because she couldn’t even open them. They started to topple over, and she had to brace on the ground to push them up, but she couldn’t push them up all the way, they were just too heavy. So she had to stand there, propping up her useless books that just kept weighing her down, while everyone just laughed at that stupid little pony over there.
She stumbled abruptly as the books tilted off her back. What? Who was saving her from her books? She watched in puzzlement, as the books glowed a sparkling magenta and flew through the air like they were possessed by a poltergeist. Apple Bloom looked on in amazement, as they went and flew up onto their proper place, on the shelves of a... library. Apple Bloom hadn’t even realized she had gone into a library, yet here she was. Surrounded by bookshelves, tall, sunlit windows, and the cozy smell of paper and wood.
“A little filly like you could probably use a picture book, instead,” came a warm, if somewhat snarky voice behind Apple Bloom. Apple Bloom turned and suddenly purple. She looked up, and... and it was that pony from before! The beautiful space princess!
“You’re here!” Apple Bloom exclaimed in amazement. Only then, did she notice beside the princess was a large, but not monstrous book, open to a page full of illustrations. It was floating in the air, somewhat intermeshed with the princess’s ethereal mane, the book wrapped in the same sparkling magenta light as the other books.
The princess tensed up at Apple Bloom’s gaze, saying, “I was... I... um... here.” , She deposited the book down before Apple Bloom with a thump. It was a little kid’s book, the sort that you’d find covered in crayon drawings, when you went to send it back to the library. Just a bunch of object lessons, drawn in full color illustrations. What made the book peculiar was, all the people in it were ponies! Apple Bloom flipped through it, seeing construction ponies, and delivery ponies, and teacher ponies, and... hey, did that delivery pony have wings?
Apple Bloom looked up at the space princess questioningly. She had wings too! Apple Bloom hadn’t realized it from looking at her. Something about the princess’s form was just impossible to comprehend, if you didn’t know what to look for first. She was like a majesty of ideas, that only resolved itself by convenience into a pony. A truly regal figure, with a power that bled in whispers of knowledge from every inch of her being, and she was... trembling?
“I was scared,” the space princess said shortly. “You got so scared the last time. Do you want to be with me?”
“Do I want to...” Apple Bloom stared uncomprehendingly.
“I said it wrong, sorry,” the princess said curtly, chewing anxiously at a wisp of her mane. “I just didn’t want to ruin it,” she explained. “You’re the first pony I have been able to find in a long time.”
“How long?” Apple Bloom asked eyes wide in curiosity.
The princess’s mane was quite a sight in its own right; the stars from the princess’s planetarium were in it, like not just projected on, but like her mane and tail were a gateway into that realm. They didn’t enter that realm just yet though, the firm foundations of this ancient looking library under their hooves for the time being. It looked like the princess needed this library around her... a reminder of some kind of stability in her life.
“I can’t remember,” the princess said in frustration. “I’m not used to this. I’m sorry. Can we be friends?”
Wha? “Ya wanna be friends with... me?” Apple Bloom said, trying to comprehend what she could possibly offer to such an incredible fantasy who stood before and all around her.
“Please, I’m so lonely,” the princess uttered in abrupt, torrid emotion, prostrating herself before Apple Bloom. The little filly had no words for how inappropriate this felt, as the princess of space ponies groveled at the feet of a little kid, saying, “I can bring you more books. I remember books! Were you studying? I remember studying! Do you need quills? We can do anything here! Just please, please, will you...” and she actually had tears in her eyes, as she laid an ebony shod hoof on Apple Bloom’s little pony chest. “Will you be friends with me?”
“I... uh...” Apple Bloom backed up, fighting to regain her wits about her. “Yeah...” she said in deliberation, “Ah mean, if you want to, that is. You really cain’t find any other uh, ponies?”
The princess didn’t seem to notice, but she was floating on a cloud now, the familiar starscape spreading around them like an opening door. “I...” she whispered, her brow twisted and she said, “I don’t think so... I haven’t tried in so long, but then you just came, and you’re here now! Are you the only one?”
Apple Bloom frowned, not entirely sure what she was standing on at this point. “I reckon ah am,” she said, “There ain’t any other girls turnin’ into ponies at any rate.”
“What about my friends?” the princess asked hopefully. “Are they alright?”
Oh so now she has friends? “Ah don’t know many people at school,” Apple Bloom said uncertainly, “Who are your friends?”
“I...” the princess trailed off again. “I don’t remember,” she said quietly. And that was all she said. It was an aching sadness that Apple Bloom could scarcely understand that she felt in that princess’s meaningful silence. Apple Bloom and she swam silently in a sea of stars.
“But I remember you!” the princess said, abruptly cheerfully, turning to look at Apple Bloom eagerly. “I remember you from just days ago! When you found me, and you were here!”
“I... uh... reckon...” Apple Bloom said smiling weakly, at a loss for words for this situation. She was beginning to suspect this princess was loonier than a cracked coconut.
“Please don’t hide from me,” the princess said urgently to Apple Bloom. “Everypony was hiding and I couldn’t find them, and now you’re here, so please, please don’t hide again.”
“I’ll do mah best,” Apple Bloom said reluctantly, “You’re real confusin’ though, ya know?”
“Confusing, right!” the princess crowed, “I can teach you! I can– no I can teach me not to be... I can remember I... yes I am confusing.”
She wilted with a miserable, “I’m sorry.”
And she really did look miserable, with her horsey shoulders hunched and hind legs splayed, and ears turned down and low. That’s why Apple Bloom, against her better judgement, walked, or... floated up to the princess, and wrapped her hooves around the princess’s neck, in as warm a hug as she could manage. Somehow, the glorious power that rolled through Apple Bloom’s bones like a thunderclap, at the mere touch of a space princess, still paled in comparison to what the space princess felt tonight from Apple Bloom’s simple gesture of consolation. She didn’t stop crying until Apple Bloom woke up.
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This is a rather fascinating take on the Equestrian Girls world.
I'm somewhat reminded of the anime movie Urusei Yatsura 2: Beautiful Dreamer, in which everyone at school preparing for the school festival the next day. A day of building, organizing, jokes, comradery, and stress. But as the story goes on it becomes apparent that the last day before the school festival has been repeating, over and over again for years. Decades. Centuries, and only recently did they start to experience constant deja vu from having experienced every possible variation of that day over and over again.
Then once everyone really noticed it, it got weird, even worse as people started to disappear and the setting collapsed into desolation overnight.
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H-huh. I didn't... even know there was a sequel to Urusei Yatsura. That's pretty horrible. That's not what's going on here at all. Ugh, the very idea...
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It's the second movie out of six. There was the TV series, the OVAs, and the movies. The movies are about as non-canon as Equestria Girls stuff.
Sorry, the way they talk about those poor saps in high school or Sunset Shimmer's age, I got the impression they've been in High School forever, nothing ever changing and them not realizing it.
Certainly would make for an interesting diversion when the human turned pony Apple Bloom finally has an excuse to not go to school, starts realizing how wrong everything appears to be.
What?! Something is very wrong here.
Not to mention everyone seems to have some degree of dejavo
Is it wrong that, when the vet asked how much cake she'd eaten, the first thing that came to my mind was "I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days"?
If you don't get the joke, look up 'Expiration Date' on Youtube. You'll thank me later.
- Headwind
Is that a Pokemon reference?
I love this story. So much.
Well, it's not in base four so... I got nothing. I am however, getting a "We have to keep rebooting the universe because something keeps going wrong," vibe from Sunset and Twilight though.