Stalker - Call Of Pony

by SureFreeD

Chemical Reaction

Nikolai could feel the cold rain drops on his body, and the worried screams of a cyan mare. Rainbow Dash was desperatly trying to wake Nikolai up. She tried shaking, screaming, taps and shoves, but the Russian stalker won't react to her pleas.

"I won't leave you..." Dash's words were barely a whisper, she set herself next to Nikolai, crying away.

__

The rain finally stopped, and Nikolai groaned, he rubbed his forehead, he opened his eyes to see a sleeping pegasus next to him. Just as he was about to reach her, pain stopped his motions. His head was banging so hard it made him dizzy, his ears were ringing as if a granade exploded next to him.

"Gaw...fuck!"

He rubbed the back of his head in pain.

"Agh...what happened?"

His stomach was growling in hunger.

"Great, now I'm hungry."

His bladder was beggining to grow.

"Now I need a fucking piss." he frowned. "Things can't get any worse." he looked over the sleeping pegasus, he carefully stroked her mane. "Wake up Dashie." at first she growled, then the growling became into moaning. "J-just....five more...minutes...mom..." she was still asleep, Nikolai smirked at the cute sight and stroked Dash's ear. "Agh...Ugh...feels nice." she mumbled. "Come on Dashie, wake up little pony." he began brushing her back, Dash's wings wiggled at the touch. "N-Nikolai? N...Nicky!" she shot her eyes open and quickly pulled Nikolai into a tight embrace. "Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh, you're alright, I thought you'd never wake up, oh I'm SO glad that you're okay!"

'Yep, that's one way to put it, now about my needs.'

"Look Dash, I'm happy to see you too, but, I need the crapper!" Nikolai exclaimed. "The...crap-er?" Dash released Nikolai from her embrace and tilted her head in confusion. "You know, body releases?" Dash blushed like mad at a thought, Nikolai saw her confusion. "Oh god, I need, the toilet!"

"Ooooooooh, you mean THE toilet, bathroom right? Right?"

"Yes, now where can I find one!?"

"Umm...Twilight's?"

Nikolai stared at Dash as if he was just slapped across the face.
"Are you serious, Twilight?" Nikolai raised an eyebrow. "Well yeah, I would let you use mine, but my house is made out of clouds, and since when do humans started walking on them?" Dash giggled. Nikolai had poker face'd.

He sighed, "Okay, let's go to Twilight, good thing ponies use toilets."

As they were walking, Dash continuesly kept nuzzling Nikolai. At first he didn't mind it, but then it got irritating and annoying, but he kept his cool.

Nikolai's bladder levels increased as they neared the library, thank god it wasn't that far away. Or else he'd has to do it in a bush or something. They approached the door, Nikolai impaitiantly knocked.

"Come in!"

Nikolai twisted the handle and pushed, inside was Twilight on the couch, a pair of reading glasses rested on her muzzle, also Rarity seemed to be sorting out books on a shelf.

"Well hello darlings, I hope you had a wonderful day!"

"Yeah yeah, Twilight I REALLY need to use the restroom, directions?"

Twilight pointed her hoof to a door past the kitchen, he thanked and bolted out, shutting the bathroom door behind him. Now he didn't expect this.

The toilet was weird shaped, definetly not for humans, only for ponies, oh boy was this his luck. He cursed under his breath and tried to figure out how to use it. It was impossible even to sit on the bloody thing!

He soon needed a plan before his underwear filled with brown chocolate.

"Hey Nicky, what's takin' so long?" Dash's voice came beyond the door.
"I can't use a bloody pony toilet, I need a normal one for butts not plots!" he yelled, "Plots?" Dash asked, "That means pony ass!"
Dash, Twilight and Rarity blushed together at the information, they felt awkward and embarrased.
"T-That wasn't very polite!" that was Twilight, "Well sorry Miss Sparkle, I can't think straight whilst holding my own SHIT!"

Twilight recoiled, "S-sorry." she apologized, "Damn right you should, now how do I use this bloody thing!?" he said, still looking at the weird shaped toilet. "Umm...Oh, the lid is detachable so it can change into different shapes, try that cupboard under the bathtub, there should be something that fits your..."

"Ass."

"Right, right."

Nikolai checked he cupboard under the bathtub and found a lid that fits the human bum. He took it out and replaced it with the current one, now it looked like a normal toilet back on Earth. He dropped his trousers and sat down.

(You don't need this part.)

He flushed the toilet, he reached to his right, but it wasn't there, it wasn't where it should be, this has never happened before, sadness mixed with anger built up inside of him, until he shouted at the top of his lungs.

"WHERE'S THE FUCKING TOILET PAPER?!"

The ponies cringed.

Comments

[.Tzeentch.]

lol second last line is an normal lunch brake at work for me

Hehe that was fun.

[Captain Grim]

I got to agreed . There is nothing more disturbing when you need to shit and there's no toilet paper afterwards

[DJ Cobalt]

lol where the toilet paper

[D-Bence35]

Ran out of toilet paper, dear Nikolai? -Celestia

[Merc Scar]

For a story that should be some what serious, this is hilarious, i cant stop myself reading more.