Awkward Conversations And Other Stories

by No one is home

What Lies Below (Train Wreck): Making New Doors

“Okay, so this is the ground floor?” At Carrot’s nod, Train Wreck continued, “Which way to the front door then?”

“Down the hall, first door on the…” Carrot plate started, only to be interrupted.

“Fuck some doors!” The Giant chuckled, “Just point a direction.”

“Uh, that way?” Carrot pointed in confusion, before watching as Train Wreck cleared a section a wall with a swipe of his massive head.

“Walls are stupid.” The Monster lead the way through the opening provided.

“W-what are you doing?” Carrot plate followed in the wake of destruction.

“I’m making a point.” Train Wreck grinned like a fool. “Your father’s gonna know that from now on it’s gonna be really expensive to lock you away…”

“Stop right there!” two burly unicorns moved to intercept the two, “Return to you quarters Miss Plate while we deal with this interloper!”

Train Wreck lowered his head against the flurry of magical bolts. “That actually stings. You know, enough of you guys, in an open space might be a problem for me. I gotta keep that in mind.” He closed the gap between then and unleashed his outer snakes to strike like vipers. Each snake caught one guard by the the throat, leaving each unconscious and the giant monster glowing faintly with the stolen magic. “Well that was a spot of fun.”

-=-=-=-=-

Carrot Plate noted that their path had become remarkably clear. Apparently there was a limit to the loyalty her father’s money could buy. As she stepped shakily through the rubble, she had to admit that she had never imagined that the gentle giant who served cupcakes to school fillies could be such a force of devastation.

As she walked through the final gaping hole (the creature had stubbornly refused to use a single door), she saw a sight that chilled her blood. A greying brown unicorn stallion stood in front of an entire unit of Celestia’s guard. “There’s the creature that’s foal napped my daughter! Stop him, immediately!”

There was a hushed murmur among the guards, until the captain finally spoke up. “Sir, you need to come with us, we will escort you to a safe distance.”

“W-what?!” The stallions outrage was palpable. “You outnumber him 12 to one! That fiend has my daughter!”

“Actually, she’s with me, guys. Totally not a foal-napping. We’re just trying to leave peacefully.” A playful snake shot out and grabbed a vase, hurling it through a window. “Oops, my bad.”

“That was an original work of art commissioned by King Sombra himself,” the stallion protested, “it was a priceless antique!”

“Now that’s not fair,” Train Wreck laughed, “I’m sure it was worth SOMETHING.”

“Uh, Mister Train Wreck, sir,” the guard captain stepped forward, “We’re glad to see you’re not dead, but could you please stop rampaging...please?”

“Y-you… you’re asking him nicely to stop???” The elder plate sputtered in disbelief.

“With all due respect sir, what do you expect us to do?” The guard shuffled uncertainly. “The last pony who tried to take him out dropped a burning building on him. Which from the look of things just made him mad.” He then addressed the mare standing behind the monster. “Ma’am, are you alright?”

“I- I’m fine sir,” Carrot Plate nodd confirmation before continuing, “I’m with Mister Train Wreck.”

“You do realize you’re both going to face charges of vandalism, I hope,” the guard said sternly.

“Yeah we’ll show up in court tomorrow Dusty,” Train Wreck replied with a smile.

“Well, alright then,” Dusty Trails, nodded, pleased that somepony had finally remembered his name, then turned to the elder Plate, “Well sir, that settles that. Now, could you please follow us outside. We will escort you to a safe distance.”

“But that fiend is foal-napping my daughter!” The older stallion stamped his hooves with outrage.

“No sir, we’ve established that your daughter is following him of her own free will,” the guard explained patiently, “There are issues of property damage.”

“The snozberries taste like snozberries!” the guard looked up to see the tazzle pony playfully licking an oil painting, likely a famous and immensely valuable work of art. “And by all means press charges, Me and Carrot would LOVE to testify. I gotta make sure to bring Diane. She loves a good snack, and I loves me some irony.”

“You’re crossing a dangerous pony, Mr. Wreck,” the elder pony snarled, “Mark my words my daughter will be back within the week.”

“Then I’ll just walk back in and ask her if she wants to leave again.” Train Wreck smiled with all his snakes. “Until one day, she’s not here, or I just get bored with this little game, or maybe she drops the safe word. An then I break one bone for everything I know you did, and then one more for everything I’m pretty sure you probably did. And then I’ll just go do whatever Celestia says I gotta do to make up for hurting a pony who had it coming.”

“That’s enough!” there was a flash of changeling flames unseen by most, and a guard in the front melted into the regal form of Princess Fast Change, “That’s enough Train Wreck. You’ve made your point. And it’s good to have you back.”

“Good to see you again too your majesty,” Train Wreck laughed easily and replied, “I’m really sorry about all this. I woke up tied up in the basement this morning, and miss Carrot Plate told me how they really don’t treat her very nice. So we tried to just walk out peacefully, but then the guards and some walls and a few priceless works of art and at least two stained glass windows tried to stop us. It was totally self defense.”

“Surprise and Z are back at the hive.” Fast Change sighed heavily with resignation, “Diane’s out at the circus. You do realize you just busted up the estate of a ranking member of Canterlot nobility, right? There’s going to be fallout from this.”

“Did you hear that Carrot? There’s a circus in town!” Train wreck announced cheerfully to the newly liberated mare, “Things are looking up already!”

Author's Note:

Hey, yeah look at that. A circus. I see nothing but Rainbows in the future.

Comments

[Not so New Brony]

Train Wreck seems rather flippant about the chaos he's causing...though given the place he's causing it, I'm surprised he didn't do more. Still, I guess he has to keep some modicum of restraint or else the 'charges' might be elevated.

[No one is home]

7339262 He's largely oblivious at the moment to the hornets nest he's gleefully kicking.

[Boulder]

“Stop right there!” two burly unicorns moved the intercept the two,

to

“There’s the creature that’s foal napped by daughter! Stop him, immediately!”

my
Trainwreck is like a one man...err monster A-Team.

[No one is home]

7343394 Typos trampled by BA Train Wreck. I pitty the foal.

[David Silver]

cicus - circus

[No one is home]

7353438 The insidious bastard was hiding in author's note? The nerve! There'll be no mercy for the likes of him!