Awkward Conversations And Other Stories

by No one is home

Let's Do The Time Warp Again (Night Watch): The Nightmare We Become

Seven pranced in panicked circles as the world seemed to melt away, washing like wet paint from the new reality. Ki and Surprise took in their new surroundings. They were still in the bar, but it was no longer in ruins, nor was it empty, being instead filled with lunar ponies of every variety.

“There are ponies in Canterlot?” Seven began panicking, “There can’t be ponies in Canterlot. If the Queen finds out she’ll come back to get the ponies. If the Queen comes back, she’ll find Pinkie Pie #7!”

“I don’t think you have to worry about queen Chrysalis anymore,” Ki glanced around nervously, noting the dirty looks the trio was receiving from the bar's patrons, “Y'all, I think we should very casually make our way out the door.”

Ki began to walk towards the exit, the two mares following his lead. Once they had made their way to the street, the mohawked human turned to the changeling, “So, you’re name is Pinky Pie Number Seven? Pardon me for saying so, but that doesn't sound like a changeling name. We were allied with a few of the Badlands hives, so I’ve met a few changelings.”

“Pinkie Pie #7 doesn’t have a name. Pinky Pie #7 doesn’t deserve a name,” The changeling started to lose her composure again.

“It’s okay,” Surprise moved to comfort the changeling, shooting a dirty look at her human companion, “It wasn’t your fault. And that timelines gone now.”

“What does the green pony mean?” Seven cocked her head to the side.

“It’s Surprise,” the party pony turned off the main road leading the three in an alleyway where they might have more privacy, “You can call me Surprise. Time is kinda really mixed up right now. There’s a bad pony trying to change history, and every time she does it makes the world go all bonkers. The card I gave you came from a psychic ponies call The Blind Goat. It pulled you out of the normal flow of time, I think.”

“I think I get it at this point,” the human nodded then turned to the changeling, “It means all the bad things that happened never happened anymore. You said you saw me get hit by a train, right?”

“Yes,” Pinkie Pie #7 nodded, “Pinkie Pie #7 was supposed to find the pony named Pinkie Pie. She was supposed to spy on the resistance. She was the seventh to get sent. But then she saw a strange monkey thing that was you appear in front of the train and you laughed and then SPLAT, and then Pinkie Pie #7 remembered the day we won and she didn’t want to put ponies in pods anymore. So she stayed in Canterlot. She hid.”

“But I’m right here,” Ki laid a supportive have on the changelings withers, “So you can see that never happened anymore, nothing either of us remembered ever happened anymore. Not the good and not the bad.”

“I have a confession to make,” Surprise shuffled in place, “On my world, when the the changelings invaded, I got a little carried away. I picked up my friend, Twilight Sparkle and used her like my party cannon, blasting off bolts of magic. I wasn’t really trying to hurt anypony, I just wanted the changelings to stop hurting my friends… But one changeling jumped in front of another to try and keep her from getting hit. I wasn’t aiming to really hurt anypony, but she jumped in the way and took the bolt in the face. And the changeling she jumped in front of just sort of fell down and started crying… and the changeling I shot wasn’t moving… we had to keep moving after that.”

“Pinkie Pie #7 doesn’t understand,” the changeling looked even more confused, “What happened to Pinky Pie #7 didn’t really happen but something else did? You killed a changeling?”

“You,” Surprise turned her face away, unable to look the changeling in the eyes, “I killed you. Or at least I killed my worlds version of you. And I’m pretty sure the same thing happened in the original timeline of this world.”

“It makes sense,” the human nodded, “I was hit by a train in the original timeline AND in the timeline ruled by Chrysalis. But that means that if you died jumping in front of another changeling…”

“Pinkie Pie #7 protected Swing Shift?” the changeling smiled for the first time.

“I’d say it’s a good possibility,” Ki smiled back.

“Well, well, what have we here?” a new female voice rose from the mouth of the alley, “A human, a changeling, and a sun-pony having a little secret meeting?”

The three turned to face the newcomer to find themselves confronted by a lunar pegasus night guard.

“Night Watch?” Surprise approached cautiously.

“So you’ve heard of me,” the guard sneered, “Then you must know how I feel about conspiring little sun-ponies like YOU!”

With the last word, the Lunar Guard spun around and bucked the green party pony square in the face, knocking her to the ground.

“Right,” Surprise reminded herself, “Different timeline. Different Night Watch.”

“Okay,” Ki’s face went grim, “Maybe she’s not MY Pinkie Pie, but you wanna take a cheap shot at one of my friends? I can play that game.”

The human removed his sling a winced as he rotated his shoulder, “Yeah, I was totally ready to go back on active duty.”

“Good,” the guard sneered, “I was hoping at least one of you would have some fight in them. 40% chance I break your legs, 30% chance I cave in your skull. 20% chance… what in the pits of tartarus…”

Seven melted in a wave of invisible changeling flames, becoming a monstrous mockery of a changeling, with spines cresting along her head and down her spine. The changeling smiled wide, displaying a mouthful of shark-like teeth and took a step forward, “The human and the nice pony made Pinkie Pie #7’s mistake go away. Now Pinkie Pie #7 will make you go away.”

“We really gotta work on that name,” Ki said drily as he produced a baton from his uniform.

Night Watch backed up a step, then snarled and charged the human. Ki sidestepped bring the baton in an arc for the lunar pegasus’ head. The mare easily ducked out of the way, only to be slashed along her side be the changelings head spines and bucked wildly in self defense.

The blow staggered the changeling, but gave her human companion the opening he needed, and the baton this time found it’s mark connected with a sickening crack at the base of the mare’s skull. Night Watch fell to the ground in a crumpled heap.

“No!” Surprise shouted, rushing to the injured pony’s side, quickly checking for signs of life, “She’s still breathing but she’s almost definitely got a concussion. We have to get help!”

“Are you kidding?” the human said incredulously, “Aside from the fact that she just attacked us, I’m pretty sure this is the timeline ruled by Nightmare Moon. And she’s one of the Night Guard!”

“But this is Night Watch!” Surprise protested, “She’s my friend!”

“Not in this timeline,” the human insisted as he worked his overextended shoulder, “And we both know that any minute now time’s gonna rewrite itself again and she’ll be doing whatever she’s doing in the next loop. God’s in hell it’s been months since I got here. I can’t remember if the next one through is Flim Flam, Discord, or Tyrek…”

“Pinkie Pie #7 is no expert, but how long is this rewriting of time supposed to take,” the change asked innocently enough.

Both the changeling and the human looked expectantly at Surprise, who in turn looked a little nervous, “Uh… any minute now?

Author's Note:

Tonights chapter brought to you by a sudden bought of midnight insomnia.Frequently a problem on Saturdays when I enjoy getting daytime drunk while I watch the new episode. Ad then I fall asleep early because I've drank a twelve pack of beer by 7 p.m. And then I wake up around midnight and write horse words because I can't go back to sleep until around 5 a.m or so. Yay horse words.

Poor Night Watch. Getting beat up by Ki and Seven. In fairness, I'm pretty sure she could mop the floor with Ki one-on-one (even Sombraverse Ki, who's quite a bit tougher than the original, because war reasons). Night Watch appears with permission, and honestly came out of the Nightmareverse better than some other Silver Waifus...

Comments

[Dravkwn]

Any minute now... Wasn't Silver thinking the same thing?

[Daremo]

Just goes to show that working for the evil empire lowers one's IQ by about 1/3 to 1/2.

[No one is home]

7197572 I don't know that I'd characterize Night Watch as being less intelligent, so much as just more arrogant. Real world Night Watch would have finished figuring the odds before she started doing anything brash, but Nightmareverse Night Watch is used to walking over ponies. Night Watch's already strong pride in being a lunar Pegasus has been pushed by the Nightmare Empire to the point of racial supremacy. It just doesn't occur to her that "lesser" species could be anything other than inferior. It's an attitude she paid for. Pinkie Pie #7 is not a changeling to take lightly. Ki's just a guy with a stick. But he did okay too.

[No one is home]

7197493 Maybe they should try doing the time warp.

Yes, I'ma milk that joke until the end of this.

[Dravkwn]

7197644 My brother and his wife used to go to Rocky Horror Cosplay Movie Showings. I am immune to this.

[Daremo]

7197638
Ah. You are correct, I should have said it lowers wisdom.

[Boulder]

“But I’m right here,” Ki laid a supportive have on the changelings withers, “So you can see that never happened anymore, nothing either of us remembered ever happened anymore. Not the good and not the bad.”

hand

“Pinkie Pie #7 is no expert, but how long is this rewriting of time supposed to take,” the change asked innocently enough.

changeling