Gods have to watch over the universe. The job isn't very exciting despite popular belief, and the gods have to do something to the mortals that inhabit planets to keep themselves occupied. Sometimes, this involves taking a random teen by the name of Braxton and moving him to a world that he knows very well. The residents of the world, called Equestria, know nothing about the creature that has been sent to their world.
The arrival of this "alien" causes much chaos in Equestria. Enough that a certain Draconequus begins to free himself from his stone imprisonment...
Chapters (5)
818384 Glad I didn't completely butcher the intro. I always feel like I've done a crappy job with them.
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819318 uh...
Hey. I wasn't bad although there are a few thing I would like to say. First you made some mistakes:
"That first time that happened, She got a..." - That s shouldn't be higher case (I think)
"Fluttershy heard a sound in the distance that sounded like clods" - I think you wanted to write clouds not clods
And for the motherload:
"Oblivious to everything around her, Fluttershy dodged branches as she flew in the direction she knew the pony had fallen. As the light shining from above became blocked out by the thickening canopy of leaves, she didn't slow done for a second. The most important thing was saving the pony that fell from the sky, and nothing would stop her from doing exactly that." - Not any true mistakes I found but I do think this part is a bit redundant.
Still all in all it's a nice start and I will be following you from now on.
819955 Ignore that...Thing. It's someone trying to use the comments section for free advertising.
Anyway, on to my comment; Aside from a few spelling errors, the story was pretty good. Keep it up!
820060 Thanks for the feedback. Gonna edit those right away, before the only thing I do is Dawnguard.
YAY MOAR STORY :D i just read your other one (same char) VERY entertaining, laughed so hard that my parents came over to see if i was having a seizure then they started laughing Trolololol
825823 Yay~!
833693 This is indeed a rewrite of The End is Neigh, except I'm only taking the basic ideas from The End is Neigh and writing a different story with them, i.e me going to Equestria. If you want to untrack The End is Neigh, you can, but there's no real reason to do so.
833738 My plan was to incorporate Discord into the story, but I couldn't seem to come up with a way to do that. That's why I am rewriting it.
Sorry it's taking so long for the second chapter. My creative juices keep running out after I write roughly 200 words for some reason, and tons of stuff is happening. It is close to completion though, so the wait isn't much longer!
Plot hole: Twilight introduces herself, "H-hello, my name is T-Twilight Sparkle. What's your's?, then is surprised he knows her name?
Other than that, a couple grammar/spelling issues but still good.
Fix that plot hole and keep making more!
So Braxton is a Brony and as such already knows all about this world is that correct? If so is he going to reveal in some way the conection between the worlds?
i like the way this is going.
proceed....
872810 Fixed that. Thanks for pointing that out for me, btw.
872850 Yes, I am indeed a brony. I'm not completely sure how I'm gonna go about revealing it, but it's going to happen eventually.
This is getting better and better...
Cannot wait good sir.
I'll be waiting.
910489 You can't wait... but you'll be waiting.
My contradiction sense is tingling.
Yes Twilight, caffeine makes the world go round
Excellent work sir. Keep it up. I just love how Pinkie finally knows someone who at least partially gets her behavior.
Rarity must have gotten a good look at his clothes and fainted.
God, that was hilarious!
Nice job man!
That. Was. Beautiful.
Also, Captar teh "Tihrd"? Cool story bro.
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"YOU SICK BASTARDS ARE LAUGHING, AREN'T YOU?"
Yes, yes we are.
DELICIOUS ENJOYMENT! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAA!
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1047960 You win.
MOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!
1048009
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I know he is to entertain various deities (even though he rather not). It wouldn't surprise me if they cause little to mild manifestations to bring him to a designated area to cause some entertainment or while he sleeps watches his dreams (or alter it somewhat [Deities can be quite cruel and/or strange]). This stuff seems likely when things start getting boring in their opinion. At least your not using the Greek and Nordic deities (If you are the stuff will hit the fans). Liking it so far.
*uses dragon shout of MOAR!* *it was semi-successful*
1048083 Actually, I'm just using unspecified gods. In the story, I've only seen their messanger.
And there will be meddling, don't you fret.
I just realized... this story also has the 'Romance' tag.
Wonder who it could be?
MOAR!!!!
There is just too much fun that can happen, and It's helped me to see that I can have FUN with my story. Aside from doing exactly what Braxton did and dropping the bombshell of FiM being a TV show. Anyhurr, MOAR.
P.S. Fourth, unless you did "Forth" on purpose.
1118007 I didn't.
*FACEPALM*
"A miserable pile of secrets."
you got me there
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I think I enjoy Rarity's reaction the most, and Celestia took this all very well even after
the "Hitler" thing
"Oh, um, we were just uh... talking about... stuff..."
Damn straight.
lol this story is so funny keep up the good work
1244102 Did I do an okay job on the 'serious' parts? That's where I felt I kinda sucked.
DAMN, That was funny.
DAMN, You're good.
I make DAMN good biscuits.
DAMN I ran outta things to say.
DAMN.
MOAR, DAMMIT, MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!
1277191 DAMN do you like this story.
DAMN, I have to get off y butt and write more!
DAMN damn.
1278765 DAMN right I like this story!
DAMN straight you need to write more!
DAMN I need to stop saying DAMN!
1282012 DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN
Lol