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Captar teh Tihrd

Twilight sighed wearily as soon as Braxton was out of the room. Pulling the door closed with her magic, the unicorn smiled. "That could have gone worse. Much, much worse."

Re-opening the door, Twilight and Fluttershy moved towards the door at a relaxed pace, one happy the alien wasn't bad, and the other itching to send her discoveries to the princess. They both froze as thunking sounds echoed from the stairway, followed shortly by a sharp intake of breath.

"Oh dear," Fluttershy whispered, rushing out of the room, any sense of the brief calm gone. She whipped around the corner, halting with a gasp at the stairs.

Splayed out at the bottom of the stairs was Braxton, back arched. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...."

"Oh my goodness, are all right?" Fluttershy flew down to him, glancing over him for any obvious injuries. She didn't find any. "Where does it hur-"

"YOU SICK BASTARDS ARE LAUGHING, AREN'T YOU?" Braxton yelled at the ceiling, ignoring Fluttershy. "I BET YOU'RE ALL GIGGLING AT MY PLIGHT!"

Totally confused, Fluttershy tried to calm him down. "Um, please stop shouting, you're disturbing the-"

"THIS IS WHY I'M AN ATHEIST, YOU KNOW!"

Gradually, Braxton's calm returned. He lay still on the wooden floorboards, a radical shift from the screaming he had just been doing. Neither Twilight or Fluttershy knew how to react to what he had said, both subconsciously deciding that Braxton was insane.

"Oddly enough, that was very soothing. You guys should try it sometime," he said casually, wincing slightly as he stood up.

In an instant, Fluttershy was supporting him to the best of ability, despite being half his height. "Don't stand up too fast if it hurts."

Slowly, Braxton sat himself back down onto the floor. "You know what? This will sound kinda weird, but I could use some sleep. Peace." He lay down, closed his eyes, and instantly fell asleep.

"Great. Now he's unconscious again," said Twilight, exasperated. She used her telekinesis to lift him into the air, and trotted up the stairs with him in tow. "We may as well take this chance and show him to the others while he's sleeping. It will probably go smoother this way."

Fluttershy nodded. If Braxton wasn't awake to help cause more confusion than his presence alone seemed to cause, introducing her friends to him would have a lot less stressful moments, she figured.

"Fluttershy, stay here and look after him, I'll go and get everypony else," ordered Twilight as she came back down the stairs, Saddlebags on her back.

"I-It's my house, you know..." Fluttershy tried to remind the unicorn of this apparently forgotten piece of knowledge, but she went unnoticed. As usual.

Please don't wake up while I'm alone, please don't wake up while I'm alone....

Awareness slowly came to Braxton. He could feel the cushion of the couch he was laying on. With his eyes still completely closed, he realized that he must have fallen asleep in his basement when he stayed up playing video games. He certainly wasn't in his bed, that was for sure.

Shifting his body to get more comfortable, even though he was plenty comfortable already. A quiet conversation that he hadn't known was going on right next to him suddenly halted for a second, before resuming in even more hushed voices that Braxton strained to pick up.

"I'm telling you Pinkie, it just has to be a spy of some sort! Why else would something so strange be in the Everfree Forest? It can't just be coincidence!"

"Oh Dashie, you should being a paranoiy-baloney, and wait 'till it wakes up! Maybe it just wants a cupcake by yours truly!"

"Pinkie, I doubt it even knows what a cupcake-"

Only now realizing that he was starving, Braxton sat up as fast as he could. The comforter that was draped over him fell to the floorboards as both "Dashie" and Pinkie Pie jumped with surprise. Completely taken by surprise at his surroundings, Braxton blinked. He looked at the cerulean Pegasus and pink pony in front of him.

Subconsciously, he recognized the two as Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash. His conscious mind, however, took a little longer. Staring at them, a heavy silence entered the room for may seconds. Then, "Holy crap, Best Pony!"

Rainbow Dash, for her part, was confused. Pinkie Pie, on the other hand, seemed to know exactly what was happening somehow. She pulled a cupcake from a pocket that didn't exist, and held it out in front of Braxton. He stared at it for many moments, taking in the spiral of the frosting and the darkness of the chocolate cake.

With a reverence that he doubted either of the two would ever understand, Braxton took the cupcake into his own hand. Slowly and carefully, he unwrapped the confection, and took a large bite out it. His eyes watered as the pure and whole wonder of its divine taste flooded through him. He knew that there would never be a moment that would top this in his memory. Then he remembered what had happened before he fell asleep.

"...Are you two real?"

Pinkie nodded, seeming to totally understand his question and why he would ask it. "Is that cupcake real?"

He thought on that. Looking into every little air bubble in the previously un-baked batter, he decided that regardless of whether he was dreaming or not, the opportunity was one that shouldn't be passed up. "It does seem to be that way, doesn't it?"

"Could you really taste a cupcake if it wasn't real?"

"Taste can be imagined, and is not solid evidence of something existence. Tastes great, though."

"Good enough for me!" Pinkie exclaimed happily, not interested in whether or not the world as she knew it was real. Rainbow Dash, on the other hand, was interested in something completely different from reality.

"Pinkie... what did you... how do know this thing!?" she said, clearly confused.

Pinkie was oblivious. "I don't! What gave you that idea, Dashie?"

Dumbfounded, Rainbow Dash shook her head. "You know what? This isn't worth questioning. More importantly... what are you?" she said, directing her attention to Braxton, who had finished his cupcake and currently had crumbs all over his face.

"I am the luckiest person in the world."

Rainbow Dash impatiently snorted. "Sure, whatever, but answer the question," she said.

"I did," Braxton said while still staring at Pinkie as if he couldn't believe his eyes.

"Not with the right answer, you didn't. You're no pony, so what. Are. You," Rainbow dash said slowly, feeling like it was the only he was going to understand her words.

"I'm a human. Deal with it!" he said. Randomly, Pinkie pulled out sunglasses and shoved them onto Braxton's face as he crossed his arms.

"Wha-" Rainbow began, before getting a pink hoof shoved onto her muzzle, effectively stopping the sentence.

Pinkie Pie grinned. "My Pinkie Sense was tingling."

Taking off the sunglasses, which had somehow not dislodged his broken pair, Braxton looked at the pink pony. "What Pinkie Sense is that?"

"Well, when my right eye twitches, it means somebody needs sunglasses pronto!" she said proudly.

Braxton stroked a beard that didn't exist. "What if it's your left eye that's twitching?"

She thought for a moment. "That means somepony's psyche just snapped!"

He nodded. "Makes sense to me."

Bewildered by how... familiar the two were, Rainbow Dash felt the need to intervene before somehow they started planning a party. "Okay, uh... Pinkie? Are you sure you don't know this guy?"

Pinkie Pie nodded enthusiastically. "Pretty sure!"

Before he could be questioned about his knowledge of the Pinkie Sense, Braxton redirected the conversation. "So where's Twilight and Fluttershy? They were here before."

With a burst of excitement, Pinkie started flailing her hoof in the air. "Oh! Oh! Pick me, pick me!"

Looking between the two possible choices, Braxton examined both of the ponies. With faked hesitation, he pointed at Pinkie. "You."

Instantly, she returned to a calm state. "They went to go get Applejack and Rarity!"

Braxton nodded. It made sense that Twilight would opt for showing him to her closest friends first; she trusted them. At the same time, if he was revealed to all of Ponyvillie, he was pretty sure that he would end up getting chased by an angry mob or something, which wouldn't help him remain as controlled as he was. The shock of being in Equestria was still yet to come, or his mental insistence that he could still be dreaming was working as a coping method. He just hoped it would keep working.

At that moment, Braxton heard the front door open. "Alright, before I show you to the, uh, thing, you need to promise not to faint or freak out or anything like that, okay?"

Pinkie Pie perked up. "That must be them now!" she whispered, as if she was about to spring a surprise birthday party on somebody. She hopped downstairs excitedly and greeted the new arrivals. "Hi guys! The thing-that-I-can't-tell-you-about-until-you-see-it-yourselves is upstairs!"

A southern drawl came up the stairs. "Ya'll must think this is something real important. This better not be another surprise pie to the face like last week, Pinkie."

The next voice sounded definitively fancy. "Don't fret Applejack, I'm sure that was a one time thing, right Pinkie?"

"Of course it is, Rarity! I would never reuse the same prank until at least a year has gone by and nopony will be expecting it! Isn't that right Fluttershy?"

"Well, um, I-I'm not an expert on pranking, so I'll take your word for it."

"Well, if'n Fluttershy don't think we're gonna get hit by a pie, then that's good enough for me!"

Hoofsteps echoed into the room from the stairway, and a sudden nervousness came over Braxton. If any of them freaked out, then his chances of keeping the hopefully-a-dream fun and happiness would go down. A lot.

He sat on the bed, in plain view, as Fluttershy, Rarity, Twilight, and Applejack entered the room. Twilight and Fluttershy bumped into the two ponies in front of them as the stopped, staring wide-eyed at Braxton. He smiled awkwardly and waved. "Uh, hi."

Rarity fainted.

A/N: I now have a sweet author by the name of Saekwaka! He helps make this story suck less, which is usually a good thing! Give him your love!

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