Thisguyhere
Joined 28th Nov, 2014 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- neokiva · 18k words · 80 49 · 2.3k views
- hollowsbest · 7.7k words · 81 10 · 3.2k views
- Timeless Lord Slayer · 5k words · 108 11 · 3k views
- ThunderStomp · 16k words · 20 7 · 803 views
- Kit-San · 7.8k words · 159 14 · 7.1k views
- Spartan889 · 11k words · 66 11 · 2k views
- WezzaHD · 55k words · 131 15 · 5.7k views
- shinigamisparda · 33k words · 121 11 · 2.1k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.137 seconds
Total duration
973 users online
1,461,384 hits today, 2,167,270 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
A couple of things:
1. Avoid crossovers
2. Don't pair up maze with anyone(romantically). Especially with other displaced(I'm begging you).
3. Not a fan of the character Gilgamesh(?) or Kat(?) or Auric or whatever.
4. Making a character that is relatively unique was a good move(making an amalgam of characters).
5. Give maze a personality (character development).
6. When telling a story: Show, Don't tell.
7.Fuck it, you're having fun.
Read second chapter. You have a better start than other displaced stories. Good work.
Good idea for a story, I would have done it too because it's metal gear and it is all ways good. But as for the story; I suggest you make it first person and take it slow.
Oh and in regards to you mr. http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Ilikereadingthisshit you should have to face off solid snake for your insult to the original displaced.
and in addition keep your opinions to your self.
So much better and should you finish the story and get better at it consider re writing it but this time using experience.
....huh well look at that there are going to be to Raidens.... even if my displaced of him is a kid.....(I really got to work on the story so i can finally get it out there!) I well read this!
This..,
Was...
AWESOME!!!
MORE NOW!!!
If you don't mind, please.
6142317
Lol, Actually working on it now, so it shouldn't be too long. Hopefully sometime tomorrow.
Glad to hear you're enjoying it though
And thank you to everyone else for your input so far!
....damn if andy was here i think he'd have a heart attack!....again!
6142079 You're pretty solid...maybe you should be more like a liquid.
6142079 twilight is worst pony. Trixie for life.
6144734
6142079
Now now guys- it's just a story, let's try to keep things civil. Love and tolerance and other slogans y'know?
As for an update Chapter 2 is pretty much written, just grammar checking and editing now, should be up later today.
Ok so yeah, I'm seeing a lot of little errors here and there in the new chapter and fixing them as I find them- so maybe give it moment before reading or keep hitting refresh to help avoid them... I really with FiMfiction had a better preview option right about now
EDIT: Ok, It think I got MOST of it, but will read through it a few more times to try and find anything else I missed, and I'll make sure not the rush as much with the next one.
A few mistakes regarding spelling. It was a fine read. Work on showing, not telling.
6145302
Yeah sorry, but I don't what you mean by that
6145320 For me its one of those things you get feeling on but can't explain.
This link might help:http://bethrevis.blogspot.com/2009/05/difference-between-showing-and-telling.html?m=1
6145345
Oh, ok then I kind of get. It makes more sense now at least and I'll try to keep it in mind when writing, thanks
Again, sorry about all the grammar and spelling errors readers! They just don't show up to me until I actually hit publish for some reason, even after a double proof reading. Working on them now though.
More please
6161519
MORE?!
YOU WANT MOOORE?!
Here you go!
Love This chapter!!!
Especially the Crazy Train part!!!
Can't wait for more!!!
I bit the evil boss is Blueblood
Xante...
6172007
Indirectly perhaps, him or any of the other Displaced that have sent out messages. But ultimately I was just trying to make it seem like she got it through some anonymous automated process, not wanting to directly mention or use another writer's character without their permission.
I've read a few other Displaced stories where the character not only received letters like this but then also sent out copies of it themselves. The one Maze got was just a one of those random ones sent into the voids after being copied one too many times, hence the different handwritings and odd grammar Lyra pointed out. There's actually a fairly strong chance of the information not even being valid anymore, twisted by the multiverse long game of telephone it's been through. I don't know, haven't decided yet
Still though, Good Catch!
Some errors, you might want a proof reader.
I read the author's note. I like you.
I throw one of my Jack's Orbs at you!
Did some quick editing of the prologue to make it a bit easier to read and make the formatting more like the rest of the story- will try to get a proper rewrite once my skills improve a bit more. I didn't really change anything though, so no need to reread if you don't want to
(I really like that emote, it's just so cute!)
As always readers, working on the little mistakes here and there- sorry
Edit: Wow... there were A LOT this time, very sorry again readers, but I think I got most of them now
Thank you for making this awesome story mate. It is just amazing. P.S I greatly enjoy that you put Johnny in.
Poor Johnny. IBS seems to transcend dimensions as well as genetics for him doesn't it?
Okay, the first run of the fixes is done- sorry again guys if you read right away to see all the errors- Hope they didn't ruin it for you.
Yyyyyyyyeeess!!!!!!!
What was the name of he song in the nightmare night chapter?
6227376
Took me moment to figure out what song you meant. It's actually from Futurama, a stupid little song sung at the amusement park they have on the moon in the year 3000. Here's a link. I don't think it has a name beyond the Futurama Whalers on the Moon song.
And Maze pulls an Indiana Jones.
I wonder how things would go if my Jack were to visit.
6228329
Hard to say at this point in the story, but I do think he might be surprised by just how powerful everyone is here. That’s not to say they’d roll right over him or anything, not at all; but one does have to remember that, over the past thousand plus years, EVERYTHING in this Equestria has been either infused with magic nano machines or adapted to survive that which has. Everything hits harder and can take harder hits- which balances out for the inhabitants but if a "Normal" human or pony entered this Equestria they’d get their shit wrecked, even the flowers might kick their ass. It's like the world has been bumped up to hard mode
So yeah... hard to say
6232131 True, but Jack isn't human.
He's a Void-being that pre-dates the existence of 'his' original world of Albion.
In foreign worlds, the Void feeds him energy, sufficient to be that world's equal to his Albion regular.
His physical strength is equal to, and this is Fable canon, ten Heroes, which roughly equates to ten regular men per Hero, so roughly a hundred men.
His armour and weapons are indestructible, the cloth of his cloak is self-regenerative and he is almost literally a walking apocalypse, which he is known to have cause in Albion several times.
I'd say he'll fit in quite nicely.
Love it. Keep up the good work! o3o
Gratuitous Team Four Star reference is appreciated!
There we go! It took a little longer than usual today readers but I think I got most of the latest chapters more obvious mistakes now. Sorry to those who already read through and had to endure them- Still working on my quality control without an editor
Hopefully it won't take quite so long for the next chapter- really looking forward to the next few coming up- but until then, have a good one
.....can Andy crossover with maze sometime?
6295307
Well, unfortunately I kind of just set a whole series of events rolling that will probably take up a good number of chapters. Things are going to happen pretty much one after another until the break point, keeping Maze very busy and making a crossover in either direction difficult at best. AFTER that though it would actually be quite convenient for a crossover of some sort to happen, but it's a bit too far off to really even plan for at the moment...
I will certainly keep you in mind though; I've already had a few other requests for crossovers, not to mention a few other authors I Myself would really like to ask about one as well- but until that time I don't want to give ANYONE any definite answers (and then I'd do it through PMs to avoid spoilers). But when the time comes I'm going to have to make some decisions, so yeah; not yes and not no... but not just yet either way for sure- sorry
6295448 hehe its ok I'm going to enjoy reading til that point.
I probably would have missed the title reference if I hadn't been replaying New Vegas in anticipation of Fallout 4
It would have been funnier if, "still, would definitely be better than simply not existing anymore." was, "Why do think it terrifies me so badly?"