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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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A couple of things:
1. Avoid crossovers
2. Don't pair up maze with anyone(romantically). Especially with other displaced(I'm begging you).
3. Not a fan of the character Gilgamesh(?) or Kat(?) or Auric or whatever.
4. Making a character that is relatively unique was a good move(making an amalgam of characters).
5. Give maze a personality (character development).
6. When telling a story: Show, Don't tell.
7.Fuck it, you're having fun.
Good idea for a story, I would have done it too because it's metal gear and it is all ways good. But as for the story; I suggest you make it first person and take it slow.
Oh and in regards to you mr. http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Ilikereadingthisshit you should have to face off solid snake for your insult to the original displaced. and in addition keep your opinions to your self.
Well, that's starting on a strong note.
I'm not, really. The part I'm against is where the average story of that type introduces characters with their breast size and a detailed description of their butt instead of their name. This story doesn't seem to be doing that so far, though, so yay you.
Started to read this while waiting on your other story, I can already tell I am going to enjoy this.
This will be fun while waiting for legacy and saiyan of equestria. Good start on the story and good luck.