Markov is favorite uncle.

Wow didn't see that coming I like it.

8679080
lol

Wow, this is a terrible story. Days are too short, pacing is too fast, all the characters are two dimensional, no world building and of course, one of the worst relationship starts I have seen in a while. You have a long ways to go. Remember, anime is not real life.

9013462

And this is coming from a person who has one story with no visible ratings.Usually I would leave this alone, but wannabe critics such as you do make me laugh.

Let me know when you have more dedication to writing, then I might take into consideration your “criticism “.

9015357
I usually do not write. I mainly edit and criticise other work. I do not have the creative spark that writers need to possess to make great stories. One thing I do have is an extensive knowledge of grammar and how a story should work from the multiple courses that I have taken at University, as well as, having an interest in reading "The Chicago Manual of Style".

My stories--if you can even call them that--were written years ago when I was still in grade 10 and I can say that they are an absolute train wreck. I took a look one time, a couple months back; I couldn't actually get through the first chapter.

However, this is not important, what is, is your blind ignorance of what makes a story work. If you truly believe that this is something worth reading: I am sorry to say, you will never improve. To help you improve, read something like "A Dance Amongst the Stars" (the story I am currently helping to edit), "Mordane Stronghoof", "Magical Mystery Oops" and maybe "Monster is as Monster Does" but that one is a bit tough to understand with all it's jumps in logic that are hard to grasp. Other than that, I have not come across a Story on Fimfiction that I can consider great. Mr Stargazer and I, have agreed that we haven't found a story on this site that would be considered "perfect". We can find faults in every story we have read. If you say that I haven't read enough then just remember that my library which contains all the stories I have read is coming up on 70m words read. Of course, that is only this site.

Edit: Mr Stargazer and I have come to a consensus that "Xenophilia" is probably the only story on this site that can almost be considered perfect.

9015832

I really don’t care what university you went, and neither do the fans of this website. As I said, write something worthwhile then get back to me.

9016733
I see you didn't understand the point of my comment. Good luck, neophyte.

9016771

Neophyte.

Okay, somebody is getting too professional about this. It’s a freaking story that interests readers. A fan made story. I’m not going to take 15 years of university level writing to make a story that meets your standards. I write on this website as a means of escaping the reality of my many travels for work. So sorry it’s not your expectations, but I really don’t care.

Now, have a lovely day.

I'm not going to lie I cried because of how relatable it is. I have been stabbed in the back more times than I can count.

Pretty sure I’ve read another story by you saiyanultima for your name and picture look very familiar anyways good story and I do hope to see more soon. Very interested how this will go. Like I want him to get with both princess due to their promise to each other as fouls but yet I don’t as well. Anyways keep up the awesome work!

Edit: I know why your familiar now! ‘Seasons of darkness’ (witch sadly looks dead) and your one shot of ‘Love has a price’ it’s honestly sad that ya get so much shit for what ya write but yet I hope you keep keeping on and keep giving us these enjoyable stories!