- Member Since 13th May, 2014
- offline last seen Tuesday
SaiyanUltima
There really is not much to say, except I am here for the same reason I write on Fanfiction. I want to entertain you with my writing, not just detail it but make you feel that you are in the story.
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Nice, let me tell you I took a look at embracing the sun and loved it: sad to see it go, but this...this has potential. Not to burst your bubble, but there were a few misspells,
but besides that loved the first chapter: also, if it's not too much trouble: you mind telling me where you got those pictures from? Did you draw them or do you know somebody who does? Would love to use some for my story.
looks great, I loved those cute pics
6083568
It took awhile, but I found them on Google images
...I got nothing... Sorry, no wall of text tonight. It has potential, but this first chapter is just getting things rolling, so there's nothing to really write about. Have a nice day.
Great job. Can't wait to see more of this.
Fantastic first chapter, I'm a bit confused though; is our plucky human's name Marcus or Joshua?
Marcus or Joshua PICK one OK!!!!!
But the story is good I like it WOW.
Why joshua and marucs? It doesnt make sense is marcus but then ot changes to joshua care to explain?
6085571
Joshua is a common name in most stories, a cliche I found. So I fixed the name and personality to a more fitting persona of his character as a man with troubled regrets but keeps them buried for his own sake.
6084703
MARCUS!!!
Thank you
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Marcus
orig05.deviantart.net/11d4/f/2012/220/5/e/xzibit_yo_dawg_render_by_kernelpanicx-d5aa710.png
6086629
Darn it. How did I miss that?
6086665 There are a few other typos litter here and there, but those are not too bad (and this one gave me the giggles).
I never read the original story, so I will be going in fresh. There were a few repeats and spelling errors but this seems interesting. I will keep an eye on this. I can't wait to see Celestia's reaction to what Discord did.
Ah Discord...this just proves that the guy is annoying as all hell, but can ultimately be the reason behind so many good things. At least on Fimfic anyways lol.
A great first chapter and nice to see the ideas behind embracing the sun coming back again!
Amazing chapter, can't wait for the next one!
I love that last line.
Discord is going to wish he was in the doghouse by the time this is said and done.
MC has 2 names it seems, other than that great chapter.
=3
6442684
Did I really!?
Craps!!!!
Thanks for the update!
Might want to run through this chapter and fix the major errors of calling our human MC Joshua instead of Marcus. It makes it too obvious that you cut lines straight out of Embracing the Sun and placed them in this story.
6460334
Not cut lines out. I just have names mixed up in my head.
it's been too long since I last read this.
You mean reality
I like it. Is better explained
Aw yis
fukn bredcrumbs
A unique what?
Wait what? You're writing a novel? You have my attention, my good sir.
Well I finally got around to reading this chapter, and I still have nothing to grip about. While the first attempt was good, you've built the world better in this one so far. I guess there's only three things left to say.
Keep up the good work.
I'll look at your novel if it ever gets published.
And finally, have a nice day!
6675068
Look it up on FictionPress and find my user name JTC21.
I've already uploaded the first chapter to my novel. Unto a New World
6684207 Ok I'll look it up right now. reads chapter and comes back Ok I read the chapter and I think it's very good, but I do have a question, I have a hunch but I would like confirmation since you're the author. It's not MLP related is it? Because I don't think it is since it doesn't have any names I recognize.
6684469
It does not, because I started this seven years ago and lost my inspiration after my Wattpad account was hacked and deleted by administration when I informed them.
I had a flashdrive with my original draft at about two million words, but I accidentally deleted it all off for work and lost the inspiration to rewrite my novel a second time.
So to be accurate, this novel is a year or two before My Little Pony was televised in it's first season, so that would be about six to seven years into the making of Unto a New World.
6684504 Ah ok just curious.
I just started reading this story so I'm unsure as to when it was updated but all you storys are good and i can't wait for more chapters soon
cat fight
Oh god the drama is coming! It has been 3 years since then and now Luna has fallen for him!
Nuuuu
Luna dont do this
Maybe this will be a three way?
LunaXcelestiaXmarcus
I support the herd!!!!
The portal opens.
"Do you hear that?" Marcus asked Luna.
Odd my herd senses are tingleing while my love triangle senses are tingleing as well
It's an interesting chapter, but I'm not quite sure how to feel about it. Celestia drops the idiot ball, yet if what she said at the end of her scene is any indication, she's planning on taking all the Alicorns with her... I'm not sure how to react to Luna wanting to form a herd with Marcus. On one hand I like the concept, on the other... I feel like this is becoming very similar to Sin's story.
Second:
I think you're missing a word, ruin what?
Finally: Have a nice day.
6857806
I can see in your perspective the indication of The Princess Sin being an influence in this story, but I must respectfully disagree with you. The reason being is that I have a different motive to how the story develops the way it currently is.
You are correct though, about the "supposed" love triangle that is manifesting. Still, I cannot see it developing in the overly used portrayal most writers unknowingly use in their work.
If it WERE to be a love triangle, then the development would be Celestia and Luna being very competitive with one another. Think of this "Competition" as a similarity to that of any anime that has "Triangular Love Competition" between two high school girls. Both will do everything in their power to win "him" over; even if it involves kissing in front of the other competitor and a crowd to seduction in his own bed. . . . . or dreams in Luna's case.
Anyway, that is all I have to argue with your perspective of a repeated romance.
Have a wonderful day.
comps.canstockphoto.es/can-stock-photo_csp3065737.jpg
Wait, I'm fairly certain that the first attempt of this story had the MC's family in a much... darker, occupation... Is that still true, or are you completely overhauling the MC's background?
Very interesting indeed. Question though:
What two young alicorns? Who are they?
6927456
There's going to be some dark theme to it, but nothing that will be sickening.