• Member Since 29th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen 14 hours ago

Mr Stargazer


"Philosophy; it's like breaking the fourth wall, but in real life." - Mr.Stargazer

T
Source

After an existential journey goes wrong, a man finds himself in Equestria. With no way to return home he has no choice but to find a path in a new body. Will he discover a place to belong once again in this new land, or be forced to carve one out?

Currently rewriting first eight chapters and editing the rest of the story. Plot will be fundamentally the same, just the quality will significantly increase. There will be some story and character changes.

As of right now the story ramps in quality with some bumps due to edits.

Chapters (43)
Comments ( 1922 )

Is it just rewrite or are you gonna continue it?

6864225
6864196 some people requested that I put up the original.

I learned my lesson no rewrites ever

Poof, it's back.

6864243
No continuation? Meh...

6864243 What exactly are you doing with this? Are you just going to put the rest of the old stuff for the first and second books up or are you going to continue?

ANOTHER rewrite? Oh for the love of all that's preshrunk and cottony... Pick a version and stick with it! What you were doing last time was damn good... Why scrap it for a second time?

ITS ALIVE!!!1!!1

6864381 I intend to put out all of the original. Beyond that I won't say.

6864473 agreed. I have picked the original version. No more rewrites ever.

So like, will the story every be finished? Or are you going to give it the cancled tag?

6865005 yeah I will give out the whole story

You have no idea how much I missed this story. I understand the difficulty of writing a story as long as this one.

This was the second story I ever read on this website, hopefully you'll have the motivation to see it through or at least give us the cliff notes of the story you had in mind for some closure.

I'm so happy that anything is happening to this story. Back during the original writing, it was my favorite story. A war-savvy OC alicorn who waxes villainous? Anti-hero ex-human? Count me in!

I think the only qualm I had was that he didn't seem any kind of eager to manufacture any kind of human technology despite his history. I actually liked where the story was going, through and through and I hope you continue it!

Very happy to see this story up and running again. Great couple of chapters so far, can't wait for more

"Be warned, though. My world was so very different from this one. So much cruelty and madness. So much joy and hope. We were everything that you ponies can understand...and more. You may be beings of harmony but we were more in line with chaos."

Reminds me of one of my favourite philosophies:
'You can put three humans in a room together, ask for an opinion and get six different answers.'

6867706 Didn't Samara from Mass Effect 2 also say that?

Personally, if I was reborn with all my adult thoughts and memories into the body of a child, I'd be Stewie Griffon-ing it up in this bitch.

I love serious and funny stories it add a nice balance this chapter I loved it so much!!! :heart:

6865664 finsh it if it's not finished it would be a tragedy

This how I feel seeing it alive

I was with that story since the very beginning, so I want to ask, dear author, one thing - don't be ashamed about your story and character choices. It's only up to you, what will happen with characters in it! I know that some may complain about this, or that (like with Mordane 'girlfriend), but that's only a sign that you made things right! It was brutal, yet this was a clear sign of job well done! Why else people would complain about character death? Passing is a natural thing, even if some don't like it!
As for 'adventure' in young age... We're not on Earth, we're not having a 'normal' protagonist. Things may be rough, but I know that it will work brilliantly in the end!

You forgot to un-bold mordants internal monologue between his readings of the journal.

Please for the love of god, DO NOT let Mordane turn into a juvenile angst machine. Your premise is too unique to be wasted on that.

There is a lot of misinformation going on....

Hmmmmm.....

Find a new story
Read through the whole thing on a binge
Lament that I've already finished
Check again 5 minutes later and find a new chapter

Today was a wonderful day.

6868980 what if I told you I had three times this amount already written and I'll be putting out one chapter a day at least until Its all out.

6868989
Symptoms include:
Excessive grinning
Spontaneous dances
Fist pumping
If symptoms last more than 48 hours please contact a licensed grump.

Thank you for the story.

o god those names!

FINALLY!!! F***ING FINALLY, A FIC THAT'S STRUCTURED LIKE AN ASIAN LIGHT NOVEL!!!!! :raritycry:

Where have you been all my life?! And a reincarnation plot to boot, shit this is great, instant fave/like/follow.

THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS :pinkiehappy:

The pegasus was flying away fast. He seemed to be heading in a particular direction.

The thing about bandits, they're never out in full force unless needed...

I should've mentioned this earlier but at some points you've forgotten to put thoughts in italics, I noticed back when Mordane and Star first merged minds during the knife enchantment.

"Every one of those stones that you threw at me... Aimed at non vital areas. Interesting spell, by the way, I may even take it for myself."

This'll come back to bite him if he ever uses this move in front of others...

Guard: "Mordane Stronghoof, by order of the crown you are under arrest"

Mordane: "What?! On what charges?"

G: "You have been charged with the deaths of over fifty guards, all baring fatal wounds from a spell, ones which we are informed, match those created by a unique spell you have been reportedly to have created. What do you say in your defense?"

M: 'A spell I created? But nopony should know my...' "Oh sweet Celestia no..."

By far one the more creative ways a character handled grief, going on a bender and starting a block wide party, and gaining the affection of an Element by accident :rainbowlaugh:

This is great. This is amazing.
This story is like finding a twenty in your pocket and internally thinking "Yeah!"

I like it, but it needs some polish.

Ah~ young love :heart:

And a creepy stalker :twilightoops:

Those two new characters have caused a schism in my enjoyment, both in disturbance and timely comedy

"Hmmm....I think I'll call you Kindle."

Oh goodness :facehoof: :rainbowlaugh:

You know this fiction bring an interesting concept, about growing more knowledgeable and powerful rapidly without the morality behind it. I think that it's currently our problem with technology here. People are losing their sensitivity and bargain it with cold calculations, growing anxious and paranoid in the meantime. You could say , no that's not true, but it really is, people lives become simple assets, look at the bankers, the military, the politicians, the historical and other people, they have lost the connection with empathy and don't seem to care for nothing besides money, power, control, and the security of their positions. They are psychopaths, and psychopath isn't an insult, it's a clinical term, not a disease but a mental condition

We are not machines, we can love, we are meant to love. I can foresee that Mordane Stronghoof with that attitude of distrust and paranoid to everything ( even in a world of pastel colored ponies, made for tuning down this sentiment) around him will only get worse until it will reach it's peak

I guess that's the legacy from mankind he carry

: Another point I like to make is Discord is NOT Star Swirl, but I guess you choose that.... Oh well.

Ah Child Stalker, one of the best OCs in the history of the fandom. Only second to Mordane in my opinion. This is the third time I've read this, not counting the re-write you were doing, and I still freaking love this story. This is the only story on my favorites list that I can remember damn near 100%.

What I'm trying to say is that I can't wait to read the rest a third time, then a fourth as well once you start going on Act Three. Can't wait to see how that starts... Just checked, cause I was going to re-read it, and Act Two was taken down... :fluttercry: I know it makes since to re-post that as well, but that don't mean I got a like the lack of an amazing story.

I eagerly await the next few chapters. :pinkiehappy: *Begins refreshing page repeatedly*

:pinkiegasp: Refreshing worked! :pinkiehappy:

All I had to do is watch a few YouTube videos in between.

Well this story has certainly piqued my interest, though it is fairly rushed, the characters are unique but seem to recover from emotional damage far too quickly...

To be honest, this sounds like the start of an interesting D&D campaign so far.


I wonder if Mordane will ever use the knowledge from his human life to better ponies lives, you know, be accredited for "creating" calculus, "discovering" Einstein's equation, "inventing" the radio, furthering radio communications etc...

Though the act of proving that some of those work would be rather difficult...

Spike the dragon, local brony, pony shipper and almost neckbeard. Thankfully Mordane fixed that.

And holy crap he was almost found out, though it was a loss, the diary's death was a worthy sacrifice to the alternative. I just worry since this is the pre-Tirek days. Where he might have to make his debut alongside Twilight.

I can see why a rewrite was considered. Things seem to fly past and are glossed over. Events are summarized and could possibly just be put into bullet form.

This feels more like an outline to me. I feel it would have been better if put into a "journal" type form or taking chunks of John's new life and expanding on those more instead of many summarized events.

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HiE and alicorn OC. Hmm, you made it work, yikes, that's not easy. I hope you keep the same pacing and conflict, it is what makes it enjoyable.

6872022 actually the rewrite was started. I made it many chapters in before realizing that it was a bad idea.

6871928 true, those elements don't come Into play till much later. In a part I have yet to write.

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