Rap Battle #5
Vinyl entered Ponyville, having been gone for only a day, and not having a single scratch on her body. She held her precious record in the air with her magic, shaking her head in annoyance. "How the hoof did my Cloudsmith album get in the hands of the forsworn, anyways?" She sighed, walking to the square. "I still can't believe Octy gave it away ... "
A kick to the side sent her flying into a nearby building before she fell to the ground. Slightly dazed, she looked up, seeing the mare in question standing over her, glaring down at her. "I. Hate. That. Nickname." She closed her eyes for a few seconds, a relieved expression forming on her face. "I'm glad you're alright." She hugged her roommate before noticing the ring on the ground nearby. " ... what's that?"
Vinyl turned to the ring, picking it up and examining it. It was solid gold, and seemed to have a few etchings on the inside. She couldn't really read it, since it seemed to be in a foreign language. She shrugged and threw it away behind her, not really one for rings. "Don't know, don't care. I need to get my precious back home ASAP." She trot away, Octavia close behind.
Had they taken the time to glance back, they would've seen the ring land on a brown unicorn's horn - right before she vanished.
As they turned the corner onto the road where they lived, they saw a confusing spectacle. In front of their house, Fluttershy was trying to keep a white rabbit from attacking a green lizard. When she saw her friends approaching, she let out a sigh of relief, motioning towards them.
As soon as the bunny saw them, he raced over and started making fierce gestures with his small paws. At one point he even pulled out a microphone and held it up to his mouth.
Octavia and Vinyl watched him for a few minutes before the earth pony spoke up. " ... pardon me, but I don't think I understand."
The DJ smiled, understanding exactly what was going on. She lowered herself down to his level, gently petting his head. "Sorry, Angel. I don't think that would work...you can't exactly talk."
" ... um ... that's not entirely true ... " The duo turned to Fluttershy in shock, their sudden movement startling her. " ... you see, they can talk ... we just can't hear them ... "
Octavia raised an eyebrow, skeptical. "And you know this how?"
Fluttershy then proceeded to tell them about the time she was turned into a bunny. Though, in all fairness, she did leave a few details out, not wanting to ruin Angel's reputation.
Vinyl rubbed her chin with a hoof, pondering this. " ... I think I know what we can do. Just let me go talk to somepony real quick." She took the microphone - and Angel - and raced off towards a large tree in the middle of town, smiling brightly as the idea filled her mind, ignoring the rabbit's feeble attempts to escape her magical field.
Octavia rolled her eyes, picking up the forgotten record and carrying it inside. Once she set it down, she invited Fluttershy in for some tea while they waited for the unicorn to return.
Later that day, the trio of friends were on the stage once more. This time, though, they were all behind the turntables, watching as the bunny and alligator glared at each other. Well, the bunny was glaring; the baby reptile seemed to be staring at nothing. The crowd that had formed was now staring at the scene in silence.
Oddly enough, it was a grey pegasus that spoke the question on everyone's mind. "This isn't some kind of joke, is it?"
Vinyl was about to answer, but Angel held up a paw to silence her. He turned to the mare, carefully adjusting his headset. "Does this answer yer question, wall-eyes?" The crowd gasped, backing away from the bunny in terror. "What, ya never seen a talkin' bunny before?" Not really expecting an answer, he was surprised that they shook their heads. He facepawed, groaning a bit. "It was a rhetorical question, wise guys." He glanced at Fluttershy, about to say something regarding the ponies' ridiculous reaction. But that was when he noticed her disapproving stare and shrugged his shoulders in response. "Eh, forget about it."
The crowd, as well as everyone onstage, turned to Gummy, wondering if he had anything to say or if he was, in fact, capable of speaking.
All the alligator did was continue to stare blankly at the sky, not paying attention to anything.
The DJ pony cleared her throat, getting everyone's attention. She started the music, a smile growing on her face as she began to get back into her "entertainer" mode.
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!
VS.
BEGIN!
Let's call this meeting to order! We've got a new Big Job -
Specifically, taking down this scaly green slob!
You can't hold a conversation that makes a lick of sense,
'Specially when you're spacing out every other sentence.
No bark, no bite. Look out, I'm on the mic. That's right.
My raps are tight, all night, your frail mind's taken flight.
Repetitive and easily distracted; that not how a gator should behave.
Now move aside, Gums, and let me get back to my cave!
The tyrant and the philosopher; the brawn and the brains.
See me keep it cool as your strength and courage wanes?
Your plans all fall apart at the last minute; such a pity.
Though you deserve it for enslaving an entire underground city!
I've got no teeth, but you're the one who bit off more than he can chew.
Taking me down won't be as simple as stealing somebunny's food.
I've got both eyes on you; I'm ready, no matter what you try.
I suggest you leave this stage and crawl on back to Fluttershy!
I see through your facade; I'm winning and you can't bear it.
My rhymes are all golden. Twenty-four carrot!
Zapping you like lightning - you'll end up just like Jim.
Form a pool of your remains in which everybunny can swim!
An angel being a devil; thought I'd never see the day,
But now I'm a tax collector, and it's time for you to pay!
You call yourself the Capo, but you're just a jumpy grump.
Pinkie is planning a parade, 'cause I just triumphed!
WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!
Vinyl glanced to her left, confused. Sitting there was a mint-green unicorn, scribbling something in her journal. " ... what are you doing?"
She blinked, looking at the DJ. Chuckling nervously, she discretely put her journal into her saddlebag, waving a hoof dismissively. "Nothing! Certainly not catching a glimpse of a different species!" She glanced around, slowly backing away with a sheepish smile on her face. " ... I think I hear my laundry calling. Gotta go!" She ran off, leaving a very confused white unicorn behind.
... is it me, or are these chapters getting longer and longer?
It doesn't matter. I finished another battle! /)^3^(\
The next battle is open to suggestions from everypony!
Oh, and if you don't know why Fluttershy was once a rabbit ... you haven't read one of the best stories on the site. =^w^=
That's all I need to say ... so I guess that's-
AW YEAH! I JUST BROKE THE FOURTH WALL!
... Vinyl ... get back in the story. You're a key character! And stop breaking those so blatantly! They're expensive, and, frankly, Derpy is less destructive than you right now!
"... that was a low blow, dude."
... good, she's back in the story. Now ... having the time to think clearly ...
WHY THE HOOF DID I SEND HER BACK!?
... I need time to think right now...
Enigma out.
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That LOTR reference came out of nowhere and it didn't have anything to do with the battle
What was it doing in there?
I WANT to say gummy won, but it was totally Angel by a landslide.
Also, I imagined angel with a New York/Boston accent or something. (Like The Newsies accents), and Gummy with a british one.
GUMMY! Because he's cool like that, yup
I liked this one in particular, the rap and the end. Why did you send Vinyl back?
Ready for the next!
I give it to the capo, and not because he will make my life a living hell if I vote for gummy
Gummy just on swag points alone.
713729
...for a later battle, i mean. 
let's just say it's a calculated thing...
Angel takes this, hooves down.
You listened to me!
encrypted-tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ7VrMC9IFm8LKB0KgLXzb77i47s71RMCI-rcI5tk9_bN8x7DItdEEhzulnhw
Gummy won.
Gummy wrecked Angel. I still say the CMC vs Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon would be fun.
Gummy wins
cuz he's awesome!
Genius. I love it. It honestly is a close one. But I have to give it to angel. I have an excellent idea.
IRON WILL..........
VERSUS!!!!......
SHINING ARMOR!!!....
(shining armor is captain of the royal guard which measures up to being able to withstand iron will's personality. I can't really think of why They would be fighting, but it would be one hell of a battle."
iron will is my name and training ponies is my game.
I make ponies so assertive, it puts your royal guard to shame. I mean your guards couldn't even keep track of the princesses royal pet for one little day, your such terrible leader, you'd better off using clay. Iron will runs this show now! Why don't you just go back to guard post, here I'll even show you how!
Gummy won that, definitely.
I'd still like to see Big Mac vs. Prince Blueblood.
Go Gummy, go Gummy! It's your birthd-- I mean, you won the battle, you won the battle!
Gummy
I had Angel at first but Gummy was really kicking ass at the end there. I think I have to pick Gummy, since Angel went and sullied the momory of Jim. Celestia rest his soul.
Oh god all of my what. Reference to 'Bad Hare Day' in authors note, obvious (and already mentioned) reference to Lord of the Rings. Chrysalis VS Discord (I volunteer for Discord auditions
)
i gotta go with gummy
suggestion: Futtershy vs Princess Luna
or
Princess Celestia vs Queen Chrysalis
or
Twilight and SHining Armor vs Applejack and Big Macintosh
The winner is:
*record scratch noise*
Tank?
"Silence is golden."
...oh.
(Psst. I say Angel won.)
Gummy won
colgate versus doctor whooves
applejack versus gilda
iron will versus trixie
I'm gonna go with angel here
Gummy won.
Trixie vs Twilight
Trixie vs Gilda
Lyra vs Bonbon
Dr. Whooves vs. Derby Whooves
Celestial vs Luna
Cheerilee vs Zecora
713814
I see that you've been hanging out with pansies for too long,
You obviously know NOTHING about the meaning of strong.
So you make fun of ponies and you try to make them tough.
Me? I take on hardened criminals--no tricks, now, this is REAL stuff!
Your one-liner catch-phrases are the lamest that I've heard
I think I'd be more frightened of a paralyzed, sick dodo bird.
You think that you're so tough? You backed off from Fluttershy.
I'd be so embarrassed, I would prolly die.
I am royal, I am loyal, and my armor always shines,
You're a faker, you're a poser, you're not even worth my time
Gummy won.
That is all.
I vote for gummy!
I vote for Jim the most awesome squid to ever live, never mind, I vote Angel
Oh and if we're taking things from other fan fics
Nihilus Nix Naught vs Twilight
Angel won.
Sweetie Belle vs Twist
714065
besides, i don't even know who that is, not to mention that i'm trying to avoid using ponies twice right now... 
...sorry...
...i only borrow ideas...not characters.
714085
no prob just a suggestion
Gummy has layeth the smackdown on that white rodent.
(Yes I know rabbits aren't actually rodents.)
713814>>714046
i mention it because i'm interested in this pairing...and i tend to choose the pairings i'm interested in. 
...i'm sorry...i'm trying not to be mean...
...um...you realize that i'll eventually use those characters, and those lyrics (or whatever it's called for rap battles) could limit what i'm able to employ at that later time...
714076
...i have to say, that's kinda interesting...especially since nobunny mentioned twist before.
I have to give this one to Angel.
Doctor Whooves vs Minuette ‘Romana’ Colgate.
714157
you know, i've been wondering why no one has called her "River Song", since she has that hourglass cutie mark like the Doctor's.
Gummy OWNED angel
BAD HARE DAY
Angel wins hooves down. And next battle be luna vs night mare moon.
I say Gummy won, but i may be acting bias. oh well.
I gotta go with Gummy.
It was close though.
Oh, let's see...
)
Iron Will VS Shining Armor (Iron Will shows up and starts harassing Fluttershy, Twi comes to her aid, and SA comes to Twi's)
Applejack VS Big Mac (Dispute on the farm)
Zecora VS Trixie (Zecora tries to put on a show like she did for Nightmare Night, and Trixie tries to crash it)
Chrysalis VS Discord (I don't know, I just wanna see these two together.
714182
Probably because Romana sealed herself in an alternate dimension (or something like that I haven't seen the episode in a long time) so she's the most likely to end up pony'd.
I have to go with Gummy on this one, I think he whipped Angel. Oh, I would love to see Discord vs Queen Chrysalis.
714107 no problem!! I'm glad your interested! If you use these lyrics I wouldn't mind at all!
i will never take any offense to using any ideas I bring up in the comments. So by all means use them. I only showed them as an example.
GUMMY WON I think
and vinyl broke the forth wall damm I thought only Pinky could do that
and a Skyrim reference cool
Angel won that one.
Just to throw a completely random first-idea-to-come-into-my-head idea at you, Celestia/Luna.
This pairing has probably already been suggested at some point in the past, but whatevs dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png
Gummy won this one.
Also,
Zecora vs. Hoity Toity
Bad Hare Day reference (FlutterYay!) Also, Gummy pwned.
Twas a close reference, but i must say gummy won, but not easily, thats for sure
I say Gummy won.
If the 4th wall repairs get too high, install a revolving door. It had to be done before with Pinkie Pie (although that's not much of a surprise). Automatic sliding doors are also an option.
My rhymes are all golden. Twenty-four carrot!.
That makes my vote go for Angel, though I feel guilty about voting for the dark side.
(Iron Will vs. Princess Luna! Go Go!)
Bunneh won.