I Really Like You

FlutterDash1,424 stories ·2,585 members

I Really Like You

"I have a crush on someone Rarity, but I don't know how to confess my feelings to her."

Fluttershy really likes someone, and tells Rarity for advice. Will it work or will it fail.

EDITED/ UPDATED

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Comments ( 8 )

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super3rainbow1

super3rainbow1 #1 · May 22nd, 2015 · · ·

Don't write as if it were an online chat. Second, you need a setting. I assume they're at Rarity's place but don't expect your readers to imagine it all without the little details. Describe the surroundings and what's going on. Third, check your work. There are lots of grammar errors in your writing.

Your not eating, sleeping, gotten really distance...

That is a very unimaginative way for Rarity to figure it out it must be because of a crush. Also there's four mistakes in that one line (the entire line.) Second how could anyone figure it must be a crush with that info. One might first assume she's depressed before guessing she's in love.

Sleepover/Truth or Dare is the lamest setup for a romance. Half the people who shoehorn romance do this. You need to be more creative.

wheelie-wolf

wheelie-wolf #2 · May 27th, 2015 · · ·

oh the song you got from pokemon, it's called "together forever." here is a link if you want to hear, for nostalgia's sake.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEwskt7I3GA

Twyla In Wonderland

Twyla In Wonderland #3 · May 27th, 2015 · · ·

6025117 Thx u it's been nagging me for ages.

wheelie-wolf

wheelie-wolf #4 · May 27th, 2015 · · ·

6025167 glad i could help. i just felt there was a connection there as i read.so i looked it up and yup that was the song. and the story was beautiful.

Twyla In Wonderland