Rainbow Dash is known for her loyalty, not her love. Until something unexpected happens.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 10th May, 2015
- offline last seen Jul 26th, 2023
Twyla In Wonderland
Love's always in season and love is love. The world is changing and everyone has a view.
Twyla In Wonderland
Joined 10th May, 2015 ·
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Not bad for writing it in an hour =D! You seem to have trouble with was and were and you made a few other grammatical errors but overall it was well written even if it was a little awkward at times. Keep up the good work and let me know if you want me tell you the grammatical errors I noticed.
6454619 Yeah sure... I'm extremely Ill so I'm tying to get this story out as soon as possible so, please do tell me the mistakes
6454888 I've seen more mistakes on a college-level science fair project. Literally.
This was good!
Been waaay too long since I read some FlutterDash.
Anyways, if you wnet back and edited this, it'd make a fine story. Good job!
~Wishy
6455866 Thanks
6454993 Oh My...
Okay, you used the wrong tense. It is were, not was. On almost everything. I had to point that out, my apologies. I loved your concept, but you should work with an editor.
6457599 on all as in all the was's should be were's?
6457634
Okay, you know in the flashbacks? Those should be were. And if you are referring to a period in the past rather than present, it should be a were. Was is present and past, but only in the sense of this: "I was so excited!" But were should be used as "We were so excited." Or referring to another, such as "You were so cool!" Was is only past tense if you refer to yourself or an event, i.e. "That was so cool!"
I'm so lost right now. Who is Hoops? Is he an OC? Also why is he picking a fight with Flutters and Dashie? Is he mad that Dashie figured out he ruined the party and why is Hearts arresting him?
6846452
Hoops is one of the bullis RD raced in The Cutie Mark Chronicles
6855412 oh ok. Why did he get arrested in the story. I missed that part
6856223 sorry I should have made that more clearer... so it was only to scare him... take him down to the station... sorry if I didn't make that clear