HopeFox
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Oh, thank GOD it wasn't a fucking caribou!
(I had my concerns when I saw 'Reindeer'.)
Yes, this is short, but it's put me in a better mood than the majority of recent clopfics have. You can definitely tack a full plot onto this and create a stronger story. Fill in many more details and tell us why she went there and how they deal with things afterwards.
Your first clop is fine and you can make it finer if you choose to expand it, but that's up to you.
Twilight got bent over by a reindeer...
5920395 The moment caribou are in a story it would have the dark tags :P.
3540353 I think you should expand this story. What I would realy like to read is more about why she went there, her arrival and meeting with the king and queen.
i havnt read this story ....yet ...maby but i understand why this reindeer king is ruthless and bloodthirsty..
he just hates his parents SERIOUSLY? king FLUFFYPANTS!!!!
your parents must hate you something bad to name you fluffypants
(oh god it hurts to breath)
Reindeer that are gender-equal (or female dominated, depending on how you read their relationship) and enjoy vanilla and proper courting. For that alone, the story gets a fave and an upvote from me.
I'm wondering: Did you write this with FoE in mind? Some things in the story seem like deliberate aversions or subversions, others almost like shout-outs (like when Furrypants fantasizes about raiding Canterlot).
I'll be right back. Class starts soon.
5923760
Oh god... I can't breathe....
5920395 5924095 I shall continue it! I'm going to backtrack to Twilight receiving the mission to act as ambassador to Deerheim, then her journey there, then this scene, and then pick up the story from here. This scene was the first thing I imagined, so I wanted to get it out there before expanding the story and world.
I don't know anything about caribou in FoE (and am very happy to keep it that way). These reindeer are inspired by historical records (and pseudo-historical depictions) of real-world Vikings, so murder and slavery and rape are going to rate a mention, but it's certainly not what this story is about, and I intend to keep the story free of any need for the Dark tag.
5923760 And his wife helped!
5924168 He's named Furrypants because he's basically the reindeer version of Ragnar Loðbrok, whose name means "Hairy Breeches". In-universe, he wears pants made from a bear pelt, because he's a badass that way. Storm Crow is based on Aslaug (aka Kráka, "crow"), a very wise and mystical figure who was Ragnar's third wife according to some legends.
5924513 The gender politics of my reindeer are complicated, and there are much more culturally defined roles for each gender than there are in Equestria. But does are certainly not oppressed, no, and they have certain rights that bucks don't (more on that as the story progresses). Nothing to do with FoE, just Viking stuff.
Glad you're enjoying it, gang! I'm certainly enjoying writing it.
5925303
Well, your reindeer are certainly far closer to the actual historical vikings than FoE's caribou are.
5925303
Very glad you're enjoying writing it. I just didn't want the early influx of downvotes to influence your mind on writing more.
Okay, I liked just for Fuzzypants not pushing her to do it. Also for the sheer grin worthiness of his name.
Are they compatible? Is she part of his herd now? Will Twilight return home walking funny? God so many questions!
That was cute. I like these reindeer.
I'd normally expect a more explicit reference to him cumming there.
Pretty nice overall.
Very nice story. Well done. Surprised it doesn't have more likes.
The tone reminded me a lot of "In the Garden of Good and Evil".
Welcome new readers! I hope you enjoy this story - it's a rather new genre of writing for me. The first sex scene is in Chapter 2, but I hope you like the plot and worldbuilding too.
And welcome back to those who have already read the old version of Chapter 2! As promised, I've expanded that scene into a larger story, which I've broken up into two chapters (and ongoing). The sex scene hasn't really changed, except to fit previously undefined details of Twilight's journey, but the chapter now contains other scenes as well. There will be more to come!
Thank you for following through and continuing to build this world for us.
6035934
Oh damn, you're turning this into a story?
Well I loved the one-shot, so I can't wait to see where you're gonna go with this.
5925303
I like your version of the reindeer with a Vikings warrior and survivalist mindset that seek adventures in your story kinda remind me of the deers in Fallout Equestria: The Tartarus Contingency in the last chapter and like this pic:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/6/28/663267__safe_solo_oc_oc+only_fallout+equestria_deer_tribal_artist-colon-thatdarnpony.png
concept on the female variant of a deer in FOE.
They're mostly nocturnal, as they have this fear of Luna. They say she causes them to go slowly mad during night-time dreams, attempting to convince them to do horribly violent things against others. Thus they wear dreamcatchers to stop her from entering their thoughts and avoid sleeping at night, when Luna was supposedly strongest.
Then again, they are so survival minded they skin their dead and use them as clothing. Kind of like pseudo-cannibalism. Yikes.
Finally got around to reading the new chapter/expansion. I think I love this story already.
Interesting premise, though 2 things.
1) I think for reindeer it's bull/cow, and buck/doe is for regular deer.
2) Precisely what was stopping Twilight from teleporting/lifting by his hind legs Blood Eagle until he was at a dangerous height?
6112167
Thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying it!
I've deviated from real-life reindeer in a few ways. One is nomenclature - I just feel that buck and doe sound better than bull and cow, which bring to mind cattle rather than deer. Also, real reindeer cows do have antlers, though smaller than those of bulls. I made my reindeer does without antlers because it's an important social and magical distinction between the sexes.
Blood Eagle's antlers could block Twilight's blast-style spells, which is how a lot of her spells look in the show. Using levitation or teleportation would depend on whether the aura of her magic would contact his antlers and be absorbed. It was a matter of trial and error for Twilight, never having fought a reindeer before, and she probably would have tried an indirect levitation attack if her flying loop stun ray attack hadn't worked.
6113363
So... if their nomenclature is buck and doe... and the females don't have antlers... how are they reindeer and not just, you know, regular deer?
Twilight Harmony Bringer, Deer Layer.....
Yay for more deerwords
. . . and now back to our regularly scheduled Princess of Friendship.
I wonder when she gets around to telling Furrypants and Storm Crow that if they don't/can't help her, Deerheim will be at war with Equestria! I foresee her spazzing out when she really figures out that they don't have that kind of power.
Thinking about what is coming makes me think of having to do the Thane quests in Skyrim.
6146122
Actually, she might be afraid of mentioning that for more than one reason. One of the less obvious ones I can think of is how the reindeer would react to the news. Considering their culture thus far, they would probably POUNCE on the possibility of full-fledged war. Warrior spirit and whatnot. I mean you heard Furrypants once already, he's fantasized about raiding Canterlot itself and testing his strength against Celestia herself.
Now imagine the entirety of the far less mature populace hearing about that. Yyyeah...
6146693 Burn, baby, burn! Venison is pretty good if cooked properly.
6146122 6146693 Yes, it is entirely likely that Deerheim will relish war with Equestria. They love fighting, and it would be the chance of a lifetime. If they thought they could win, they'd press their advantage for all it was worth, and if they thought they were going to lose, they'd probably just fight even harder and die gloriously.
And it would be bloody. A fully-fledged invasion is the one thing that would unite the disparate islands and jarls, so Equestria would be facing a unified Deerheim for the first time, not just a bunch of individual raiding parties and islands that pay lip service to the king. Their home ground advantage would be massive, defending their islands against a naval invasion and using the harsh weather to their benefit. And the worst part is, Equestria's goal isn't just to shut down the reindeer military, it's to occupy the entire island chain, indefinitely. The reindeer kill each other and ignore their own rulers all the time - how do you think they would treat a pony governor trying to impose Equestrian rule on them? It would basically be all of the worst parts of invading Russia, Vietnam and Iraq all rolled into one horrific, bloody, never-ending parade of violence.
On top of all of that, ponies just don't want war. They have a pretty good military, but invading other kingdoms isn't a thing they like to do. That's why Celestia has given Twilight a blank cheque to offer the reindeer as many carrots as they want, because the stick is so abhorrent to them that it's an absolute last resort. Twilight hasn't raised the possibility with them because she wants to do her best to come to a peaceful agreement before she starts making threats.
Also, Storm Crow had a vision about Twilight's visit:
She has an inkling that war is looming if they can't come to an accord, and that it won't be glorious, just bloody. Also, Furrypants is no fool. When an ambassador accidentally vanquishes one of your strongest vassals on the way to meeting you, you know there's a steel horseshoe inside the silk sock she shows you.
6147732
Yeah, that's what I figured. It was the first thing I thought when Celestia mentioned preparing for war with the reindeer. Just 'Please, for the love of Celestia, don't EVER mention that to any of them, Twilight. You're a smart mare, so pleeeeease please please please tell me the author won't let you be a complete idiot at any point!'
Personally, I look forward to seeing what happens with Blood Eagle. Sure, his fate could be left as a side-note, but it would be interesting to read about. It's not like the reindeer are outright bad or anything, the raiding and conquering is just a part of their culture. It's a BAD part of their culture, but overall they have very good reasons for what they do. Well, in terms of their society they have good reasons, but they're old reasons and if they don't want to wind up in an inglorious war with a very superior nation, they need to change the way they think.
6149090 Yes, bringing up the threat of invasion would be a very poor diplomatic move at this point.
I certainly have plans for Blood Eagle. He is basically the worst example of reindeer culture, and generally a terrible person (given his propensity for tearing out people's lungs). But in general, yes, the reindeer are stuck with a nasty culture and a lousy homeland, and if they don't change, it will go very badly for them and for everyone. But that doesn't mean they're all inherently bad people.
Princess of Friendship...with benefits.
6146122 she already did.
6154994 Hay!... That's a good title.
Yyyeah, that chapter was just plain fantastic. Good job! I look forward to more.
Twilight's got a lil' reindeer in her when she gets under the sheets, huh?
6417428 You shouldn't insult Furrypants like that. He's not little.
6417428 She's a pony in the streets, and a reindeer in the sheets?
6419642
Rockin' the longboat's her new forte, with everyone singing 'Hurray!'
I really do enjoy this story, and I'm glad you're continuing it even after the less than... warm reception you got at first.
But I'm starting to wonder if having it a solo-Twilight fic (ie just Twilight, none of the mane 6) is going to work as well in the long run. It isn't that you don't have interesting characters, but universally they're all alien to Twilight, as she is to them, and at times I feel like it might be more interesting if Twilight had somepony who wasn't used to the culture with her.
Idjiot, you would slaughter Deerheim for pride? Celestia's fury is not something to be trifled with, your best warriors will be slaughtered like lambs before her might. Twilight is Learning the art of sleighder and will soon be strong enough to over power you on her own.
im sorry but this reeks something fierce of mind magic on twilight (not just this chapter) but the whole thing
6676790 It's not a terrible idea, quite. He still has the loyalty of an entire island worth of reindeer and goats, and there are plenty of reindeer on the other islands who are much closer to his ideological views than Twilight's. But as to what would happen if his warriors went head to head with Equestria... yeah, that probably won't work out well.
The story telling in this is great but I have to say, every time I read Storm Crow I die a little inside.
If you are unaware, storm crow is the worst creature card ever printed in Magic the Gathering. If you are aware, why did you pick that name?
6689205 The phrase "storm crow" has a much longer history than M:tG - for example, Théoden calls Gandalf "Stormcrow" because whenever he appears, trouble is not far behind him. In this instance, Storm Crow is a reindeer version of Aslaug, one of the wives of Ragnar Loðbrok's. Aslaug was also known as "Kraka", a Norse word for "crow".
I wasn't aware of the Magic card, but I would have used the name even if I had been.
6690361 I didn't actually relies it had the colloquial meaning, thank you for the information. I didn't want to sound like I disliked the character, it just made reading the story a bit funny with personal context.
This is interesting raindeers as vikings and having twilight as a important guest i be waiting for the next chapter. All in all amazing story
Good start on this story.
Great work on this chapter.
What does sleighdr mean?
This is an incredible chapter. I wonder how her friends will react when they hear about Twilight's exploits?
7465865 Thank you for your comments! I'm glad you're enjoying the story.
Sleighdr is the magic that reindeer does perform, with runes made from antlers shed by bucks, typically their fathers, husbands, brothers or sons. It's a subtle and versatile magic, though not quite as spontaneous as unicorn magic. Its name is a pun on the historical Norse magical practice of seiðr, and on sleighs, which are pulled by reindeer.
7505086 Thanks for the explanation. Also great work on this chapter.
King Furypant,you're an idiot and an A$$hole! Drinking out of a severed Unicorn's horn in the presence of an Alicorn?