Scootaloo-009
Joined 23rd Dec, 2011 ·
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- Phoenix Kitten · 44k words · 58 5 · 2.9k views
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES faved.
This is great, keep it up!
i loved that show
The idea's definitily interesting, and it's different enough from the show, but there were a lot of deus ex machina moments all around. Plus Discord pulling the idiot ball and sending her somewhere rather then killing.
Whatever, still gonna watch where this series goes.
There would be time to morn her friends, but now wasn't it.
The sign said Ponyville, but this couldn't be it. The sign said Ponyville, but this couldn't be it.
1. Isn't it mourn?
2. Did you repeat a sentence twice?
Other than those... FINALLY someone made a promising Samurai Jack fic
Well it's about time...
I think I'm in love with you. Faved~.
Oooooooh!
Goddangit! You beat me to it!
EDIT:
you'd be better at this than me anyway....
Nevermind...
Why are there two stories with this name? The other one is HERE.
There's also Samurai Twilight, Crossed Paths and Jack and the Ponies.
EDIT: I just realized it might sound like I was complaining. That's not the case at all... I like these kind of stories, keep it going!
Samurai Jack crossover. Nice. Although you'll have to clarify on the Applejack ancestors wielding the sword of harmony, and Discord knowing about it too. Sounded a little too far-fetched.
Also, the kindness gem is pink on Fluttershy, not green.
Faved, faved, a million times faved.
576931
Good catch. Thanks. I fixed it.
I need more of this...Also how she got the sword was kinda...lame.
she also had no proper reaction to her dead friends. make it emotional then while she is crying the sword forms in front of her as she opens her eyes. THEN I will truely respect it
You know like the elements are allowing her to fight back with strength or something. also make it so she learns how to use it once she touches it, so again it makes more sense.
I've been a samuri jack fan for...god knows how long :/
AND I WANT TO SEE THIS SUCCEED SO MAKE MORE!
This has promise. Dark, which I can appreciate... the detailed statements involving the deaths of the others proved to be rather drawing. I'm not much for shipping and I haven't seen samurai jack, but do I detect a hint of SpikeXApplejack?
The history behind the apple family and the discord, and the sword, will need to be covered for certain... plenty of future in this fic.
Relax all, there will be more explanations to come. And there will be light shipping, like what was seen in Jack and the Warrior Woman but no, no SpikeXApplejack. And she's a tough pony. She will have time to grieve, but she's determined. Remember how she forgave any sort of rest to harvest apples.
And because I'm shameless like that, check out my other story. It has a few similar elements, but is a whole other world in itself.
Also, expect a new chapter every week, with a maximum of 53 chapters. And go buy the DVD. Genndy really made an amazing show.
Zonies!
I assume the steel golems will be the equivalent to Aku's robots...
585759 But those would be mass produced, and more or less kind of mindless beetle bots like in the first episode. Though for him he set up traps getting rid of a hundred if not more and just sliced the rest to kingdom come.
Now that I think about it, why exactly 99? Also, I don't think how the war golems looked like was mentioned in this chapter. But of course that will be answered in later chapters.
586050
For an explination on why 99, you'lll have to wait, but it has to do with why Discord is evil. While I am trying to keep my stories separate, the reason for Discord being evil will be the same in this an my ohter one. It will be covered there as well, though I'm not sure which will get it revealed first.
And yes the war golems are the robots for this story.
this is badass. And it's not even a crossover!
Awwww...I would like to see alot more originality with how she learned to use the sword but It's still a nice peice of work.
Chapter 2 is just as good as the first one! I can't wait till chapter 3! This is a really good story, except chapter one had me a little
Mas Por Favor
I caught a noticeable reference to Irobot with the use of a repurposed set of asimov's laws there... nice. I am rather enjoying this...
I think you're rushing the believability of the whole time-travelling pony here. I mean, for once, Spike hasn't seen Applejack in 1000 years, yet he almost immediately accepts she's back? I'd say he was entitled to a longer shock. Same thing with Kendall, Applejack's saying how she travelled through time and she used to own the farm 1000 years ago, and he's just, ok, I'll buy it. Sure, mentioning Apple Bloom was a deal-sealer, but before that, I'd have guessed he'd be more shocked, or thinking AJ was crazy.
Nice touches with toy Rarity, the golems and Spike's story.
594516
I know it's a bit rushed, but I'm trying to keep it in line with the show. After all, everyone just seemed to accept Jack's story that he was from the past. Only the dogs wanted to know more and that was just how long ago he had come from.
595437 Just because they did it in Samurai Jack doesn't mean it makes more sense. If you just copy what was used before without really stopping down, reading, judging and improving it, you're just copy-pasting a story and adding ponies.
596623
Fair point. Still, Spike's dealt with weird things before and just kind of rolled with it.
Discord got a little incoherent at the end, but that might be intentional. Nice fight description by the way. I can't wait to run across more of this story.
had been truthfu,l
1. Extra comma
2. at the part when Ocean was talking about his new appendage, he kept saying handsdl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra2.png This might just be me but yes, hands
647040
Once again, good catch. And of course he has hands. They're not hooves, and they're not claws. Also, I don't see Ocean coming back.
"Brace yourselves. The golems are coming," I SO imagined Long Strider on the meme pose
Nice details on the dragon burps being able to move more than just letters. Although, speaking of dragons, if Ocean didn't have that many flares, could he really take the liberty of using one for a show off?
Nice chapter, keeping interesting
At the very start, you use "rope" instead of "robe". Only thing I saw wrong. Keep up the good work
I need a co-writer or something.
Hey, so I have a blog now.
Only one error in this chapter that caught my eye.
where it points is where you want it to point, ignoring anything Discord that do."
Otherwise I'm happily reading on.
Oh.
And I'm pretty excited about this. It seems Awesome!
Best chapter.
I didn't notice anything wrong, and your keeping me entertained. Good show!
I like that it feels like an episode for a chapter.
That was interesting, I'm liking this story so far even though I've never seen Samurai Jack. I thought perhaps the opening chapter was a little over the top in describing the dead elements but, eh! whatever right?
Your writing style isn't perfect but its mostly fine. Though you do lapse fairly often into this:
"Can you really do it?"
"Course Ah can. Ah promise. They don't call me honest Applejack fer nothin'."
"Stondust."
"Huh?"
"My name is Stondust."
"Then Ah'll be back. Ah promise, Stondust."
Just the dialogue without any description on actions and how it's spoken or saying who's speaking. It's not a big problem and it's fine to use occasionally but you're using it a little too regularly.
This was your most interesting chapter yet, I was impressed to see you didn't end it on a "perfect note". That is to say the hero shows up, saves the day, has a feast and leaves everybody happy. Instead you gave the elephants a darker edge and instead of just being the victims they now have their own moral issues. I like that and think it would cool if you were to do similar sort of endings in future.
I'm giving this story a favorite and a like.
It was easy to spot, being several time her size, but she couldn't tell what it was.
"What's this," is what she tried to say, but instead only a whiny came out.
"Ah'm sorry, Ah can't. Ah'm already on a mission and Ah can't stay here. You'll just have tah learn tah defend yerselves.
1. Times.
2. Whine.
3. Forgot your closing quotation mark.
Shit has hit the proverbial fanonce again.
718589
Fixed (these and the others)
On, and it should have been whinny, not whine. As in the noise horses make.
And a clue leads on!
Yay! Applejack is getting closer to going home!
Now she needs an equivalent to the Scotsman.
“One ah mah friends was Twahlight Sparkle too. You’d have tah be from her brothers family though, she didn’t have any foals. Ah was actually when Shinin’ Armor nearly married that changeling. Good thing Twahlight rescued the real Cadence.
She laid down a sulked.
1. Forgot your closing quotation mark.
2. And.
752134
1. no, that's grammatically correct.
2. fixed.
Well now Applejack has a way to get home at least, so this wasn't exactly a loss for her.
I like the way she sort of just shows up and aces whatever beasties are hanging around though it seemed to me like she took down those manticore with ease. Why didn't she just kill them in the first place?
754645
Well they weren't all ganging up on her. Sure they were easy to kill when none were attacking her, but all three on her at once would be a challenge.
Me gusta this fiction. Finally got around to reading the update ^^
753576 Umm... so the missing " for said sentence is correct? Then what about the one right after having both the opening and closing quotation marks? I'm confounded...
756513
Both are from the same speaker, so the first one does not require the closing quotation.
So, here are a few things I have going on, besides this story. Check them out.
My other story.
My other, other story.
My blog based on a character from both this story and The Seven Tribes.
My pony FB page.