• Published 18th May 2012
  • 12,439 Views, 1,757 Comments

Death Battle: Equestria - RLYoshi



Death Battle with ponies. Characters are researched, then pitted against each other in fights to the death, with pacifistic tendencies removed. Who would win in an Equestrian Death Battle?

  • ...
54
 1,757
 12,439

PreviousChapters Next
Tournament Battle 7: Seth Disarmonia VS Big Lugnut

Now we're getting to some of the more creative stuff! ...or less creative, depending on your opinion.

We've got Seth Disarmonia, the pony creation of Discord himself...

...and Big Lugnut, the robot pony!

I'm Yah-Shee and he's Arrell, and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win an Equestrian Death Battle.


Seth Disarmonia

Full Name: Setali Depongono le Uova di Disarmonia
Species: Unicorn pony
Occupation: Library assistant
Created by Discord the draconequus
Trained by Captain Shining Armor
Possible narcoleptic?

Created by Discord for reasons unknown to him, Seth is a unicorn pony whose first sight of the world into which he was born was watching the Elements of Harmony take down his creator.

Damn, and I thought I had it rough waking up to my ex-wife!

However, Seth didn't feel the need to seek revenge on these ponies; a fact that has surprised even himself. In fact, he has even befriended them, as well as gotten together romantically with Rainbow Dash.

OF COURSE!

Curious as to why exactly he was created, Seth hitched a ride with everypony's favourite Doctor and went to the past, where he learned exactly what devious plan the draconequus had thought of that required his existence:

He was bored.

Yeah, basically.

And he doesn't hate the mane six because...?

Elements of Harmony made him good.

...huh. Interesting. Anticlimactic, but interesting.

Seth is often a friendly pony, but he can have moments of snarkiness, either out of irritation or simply for the sake of making a joke. He hates feeling useless, becoming restless from sitting on the sidelines, meaning he could be a bit of a "Leeroy Wingkins". However, he's also rather intelligent and quick-thinking, as seen when he near-instantaneously deduces that 2.3 is 460% of 0.5.

Not to mention, thanks to combat training, he can summon a blade with his magic and use it to battle rather effectively, even being able to take down Shining Armor in a spar!

But even that's not the culmination of his strength. When he was confronted with Inferno - a gargoyle who couldn't even be permanently defeated by the Elements of Harmony - during the Canterlot Wedding, he was able to resist a fair amount of pain and still keep going, albeit without doing much against Inferno himself.

And then Inferno pressed the berserk button...

"Oh yes, the mare you love. Your precious little Rainbow Dash. Trust me, you may be an oddity, but dating her is nothing special."

"What are you talking about?"

"I've seen many universes, and I've seen many different relationships between beings, but none more than that girlfriend of yours. I haven’t seen anyone else with more partners than her. Stallions, mares, other species, even inanimate objects. So if you think of all these as the same mare, then overall she’s the biggest slut in the universe!"

...ooh.

Yeah...the result of this was, basically, Seth giving Inferno the biggest beating of either of their lives - offscreen, of course - and both of them blacking out.

However, Seth doesn't seem to show this odd power anytime unless he gets suitably angry. On the other hand, this still proves he is capable of such strength, though the fact that it even knocks himself out afterwards may be an issue.

But being a unicorn, his strength doesn't lie in physical strength, but in magic! ...which he doesn't seem to have a lot of.

Beyond basic levitation, Seth doesn't seem to know many spells, but what he does know is very useful. He can teleport, even across major distances from Canterlot to Ponyville - a trip that takes several hours by train - but not without getting a major headache.

He can also summon a rapier to battle with, which he's not that bad with! He can also summon arrows, a giant elephant-sized fireball, and a force field that he can maintain pretty easily and keep moving around him. Talk about a diverse magical arsenal!

He also has a modified gem-finding spell, which he's been able to use to find just about any material, so long as he can analyze a sample of it beforehand. He even managed to track down cake in the digestive tracts of the mane six...yes, that makes sense in context.

All in all, Seth is honest and quick-thinking, and usually not the kind of guy you want to mess with...which is kind of weird, considering how he looks and acts like a really ordinary OC!

Unlike a variety of other characters who look and act overpowered from the start, or have that cliché of being really nice only to become a badass as soon as fists fly, Seth is just as good in a fight as you would expect a mostly ordinary unicorn with a bit of Royal Guard training to be.

Rage-induced whoopass can opener aside, Seth is just a trained unicorn with fast reflexes and a weird backstory. While this keeps him from having any extreme flaws, it also keeps him from having any extreme advantages as well, so...we'll see how this works out for him!

"Now I don’t know how you would act in this situation, but I was happy because it now all made sense to me. Why I became friends with the wielders of the elements. Why I fell in love with Rainbow Dash. Now despite that one difference between me and the rest of you, I'm just a normal pony, and I hope you can look past this whole Discord thing and see me as that. A normal pony."


Big Lugnut

Species: Iron Skeleton
Occupation: Sweet Apple Acres farmer
Capable of super speed and strength
Has a personality, unlike typical robots
Stubborn and competitive when annoyed
Believes things are so "because hexagons"

Robots in Equestria! ROBOTS IN EQUESTRIA!

Originally an ancient machine stolen by the Flim Flam Brothers for the purpose of acquiring Sweet Apple Acres, Big Lugnut was soon freed from being under their control by Twilight Sparkle. This had the side effect of leaving him knowing only his name, several things that were common knowledge, and the belief that he was an actual stallion rather than a robot - until he saw himself in a mirror, anyway.

ROBOTS IN EQUESTRIA!

...despite being a robot, Lugnut has a personality just like other ponies. He's usually calm and somewhat literal-minded, but he also has knowledge of what constitutes as rude, meaning he can get offended and even annoyed, arguing with ponies he thinks are-

ROBOTS IN I'm done now.

...thank you.

No problem! Anyway, Lugnut isn't so much a robot as he is an Iron Skeleton - a kind-of-robot that'll eventually shed his metal coat and become an ordinary earth pony! Which is pretty boring, if you ask me.

For the sake of keeping this battle interesting, we'll be analyzing Lugnut as he is before becoming an ordinary pony, since it's his robot form that drives the story in the first place.

And anyone who complains about us not using the "current version" can shut up and deal with it, because robots!

Lugnut lacks the need to eat, drink, sleep, rest, or anything of the sort. He also doesn't appear to be capable of feeling physical pain, though his actual body can still be damaged by it. He's also still susceptible to emotional pain.

Big Lug is super fast and super strong, able to outrun trains and smash rocks with little to no effort! Problem is, sometimes he has trouble figuring out just how strong he is, taking "does not know his own strength" to a literal level!

However, despite his brawn, he lacks proper brains. Common knowledge aside, he doesn't know much unless he's specifically told about it, such as when he didn't even know what bits were while trying to help Applejack run the Sweet Apple Acres stand. He sees fit to do things without fully thinking about them, sometimes not even noticing he's doing them due to more or less daydreaming.

Also, he's probably the first robot I've ever seen who's able to be snarky!

"I think she's made it painfully obvious she wouldn't even go out of her way to expectorate on my account!"

...why would they program the robot to be snarky?

Well, I don't think whoever made the Iron Skeletons programmed them. They kinda just created a sort-of-robotic male pony and female pony and used them to make other ponies, or something like that.

You didn't really get it either, huh?

Nope.

Huh...well, anyway. Aside from his high brawn, low brain, and realistically pony-like personality, there isn't much to talk about when it comes to Lugnut. He's stubborn at times, apologetic at others, has existential crises on a daily basis, and is pretty much immune to pain.

But still, he's a robot!

We noticed.

"I have arrived! Observe my superior power and admit your defeat!"


Alright, the combatants are set! Let's end this debate once and for all.

IT'S TIME FOR AN EQUESTRIAN DEATH BATTLE WITH ROBOOOOTS!


In the orchard of Sweet Apple Acres, a robotic stallion was noisily walking around, knocking apples off of trees with one-legged bucks. He seemed at peace, but then again, he never showed much emotion anyway.

Out of nowhere, there was a loud clanging sound as some sort of weapon struck the robot in the side. The pony-shaped machinery turned nonchalantly to look, finding a black unicorn with red eyes and a blueish mane and tail. The pony jumped back upon realizing his rapier had no effect, assuming a battle stance.

"That was rude," the robot said simply, turning his body to face the assailant, the apple trees now forgotten.

FIGHT!

The two stared each other down for a bit; Seth trying to analyze his opponent, and Lugnut simply waiting for a response to his statement. When it became clear that no reply would be given, and that this pony was not planning to leave anytime soon, Lugnut decided he should repay him for his attempted attack.

Going from completely still to full speed in less than half a second, the robot shot forward, preparing to slam into Seth. Eyes widening at the sudden charge, the spawn of Discord just barely managed to dive to the side, causing Lugnut to run right past him. However, it didn't take long for him to turn around, preparing to try again.

This time, Seth lit his horn and teleported, disappearing from Lugnut's vision. The robotic stallion stopped as quickly as he started, looking around for any sign of his foe. He neglected to look up; if he had, he would've seen the unicorn perched on a tree branch. Seth was smart enough to know that if he was seen, though, it wouldn't be too hard for the robot to topple the tree with him on it. He flashed his horn two more times; once to cast a cloud-walking spell, and another to teleport onto a nearby cloud, still not too far from where Lugnut was still looking around in confusion.

Can't just stay here the whole time... the unicorn thought to himself. He took his rapier and jumped off the cloud, aiming himself down at the robot, hoping to score a surprise attack. Instead, he was the one surprised, as the rapier only made a metallic noise and bounced right off the iron body, while he slammed facefirst into the same body. He fell to the ground, clutching a bloody nose.

Lugnut turned to Seth and tilted his head. "If you are attempting to hurt me, I should let you know that you are not doing very well."

Seth punched Lugnut in the face. This only caused Lugnut's head to spin around and Seth to grab his hoof, teeth gritted as he held back a yell of pain.

"You still aren't succeeding." Bored of this, Lugnut turned and bucked the stallion as hard as he could.

At least, he thought he did. Instead, he bucked nothing but air, as Seth managed to teleport himself to the side just in time. He fought back the pain and stood up, no longer bothering with the obviously useless rapier. Tired of not doing anything, he ran forward and tackled Lugnut. While this didn't seem to hurt the robot, it did take him by surprise.

"Get off of me!" Lugnut demanded, trying to buck Seth off. Seth, for his part, held on tightly and refused to let go, despite his body rocking around so much he felt like he was going to throw up. Suddenly, Lugnut stopped. "Fine then."

As soon as those robotic words had droned out, the metallic farmer started running at top speed in a straight line. Seth cried out and continued holding on, bracing himself against the trees they constantly smashed through. He started losing his grip, and in a last-ditch attempt to keep his opponent from gaining the upper hoof, he teleported once more onto a cloud high up in the air.

This time, however, he took Lugnut with him. His worried face became a smile as he watched the robot drop right through the cloud to the ground below...

...only to go back to worrying when he landed on all fours without a scratch.

"Oh, come on!" Seth growled. He teleported back down to the ground, beginning to use his magic to fire red bolts of energy at the robot. Lugnut tried to avoid them, but he was too large and clumsy, and he was struck several times. This didn't affect him that much, but Seth had a feeling it was doing something.

Lugnut didn't like what was happening. He tried charging Seth again, but he ended up slamming into a forcefield. The unicorn inside grabbed his head from the force of the giant object slamming into the shield, but managed to keep it going. The robot turned around and bucked the shield a couple of times, but on the third buck he found that the shield was no longer there. Seth had dropped it and jumped to the side.

Deciding to try and trap Lugnut's hooves with magic, Seth grabbed his hind legs as they bucked out in a telekinetic grip. This didn't have the effect he desired, as despite his magical aura clearly being around the limbs, Lugnut seemed unaffected.

"What the hell?!" Now completely frustrated, Seth dropped all sense of caution and started charging something with his magic, either unaware of or ignoring the fact that Lugnut could clearly see him doing so. The robot, for his part, simply watched with partial curiosity and partial confusion, until he saw the fireball appearing above Seth's horn.

"Oh." Lugnut's response was casual, but he was actually feeling rather worried. Being metal, that fire could easily melt him; to make matters worse, they were in the middle of a grove of trees, and he refused to let Sweet Apple Acres be incinerated by this insane stallion. He ran forward and tackled Seth before he could unleash the fireball.

Nevertheless, even though it wasn't at full power, the fireball still was deployed. Several trees caught fire instantly, and the burning spread faster than either combatant could realize. They were both safe at first, but as trees started to topple, they knew things were about to get dangerous for them both, even without the other there.

Turning around, Lugnut started running off. He crashed through a burning fallen tree, the metal on his body cracking and melting a fair amount instantly. Seth saw this and teleported after his foe, needing a few castings to catch up and then get a fair distance ahead. He fought back the exhaustion from such a thing and turned.

As Lugnut charged by, Seth lit his horn and grabbed onto what seemed like an exposed piece of machinery, previously hidden by the metal coat. With a tug, he broke off and yanked out a small piece of a gear from the side of his foe's body. Lugnut continued running by without stopping, but as he lost a piece of his inner workings, he stumbled before righting himself. His running seemed slightly slower after that.

He kept running, determined to get away from the burning forest. It didn't take long, even at his hindered speed, to get out into the field just outside the farm. He turned back to look, ashamed that he let all of Sweet Apple Acres burn like that. He briefly wondered what Applejack would say.

Seth, however, didn't let him entertain that worry for very long before he teleported into existence right beside him. Lugnut turned, anger not evident in his face but definitely in his voice.

"You did this," he growled. "You caused this!"

The unicorn shrugged before casting another spell. As Lugnut prepared to charge at him, he analyzed the piece of gear he had taken, then began to search for anything similar within Lugnut's body. He wasn't disappointed, and he was able to find and grab onto several other gears with his magic.

The robot found himself unable to move. He tried to tug at whatever was holding him, but it didn't work; it was as though his body had shut down, yet he was still able to see and hear. What was going-

CRACK!

With a strong tug, Seth yanked on every single gear he could find. Lugnut's iron skin, weakened by the fire, was no match for the sudden magical pull. His body broke open in several places as gears were forced out and deposited unceremoniously onto the ground. While he was at it, Seth grabbed onto every wire or switch he could see with the new viewpoints, and pulled those out into the smoke-filled air as well.

His innards being ripped out of him like wrapping paper on a child's birthday gift, Lugnut began to shut down. The last thing he saw before going offline was that unicorn walking away.

K.O.


Error 404! Important body parts not found!

This battle came down to, surprisingly enough, a battle of science against magic. While Lugnut was equipped with plenty of strength and resistance, he lacked the unique powers that Seth had. There wasn't much Lugnut could do to fight aside from simple physical attacks, and Seth could easily get away from those.

Of course, with Big Lug being pretty much impervious to damage, Seth couldn't do a whole lot either! It really came down to trying to shut ol' Luggy down, since killing him was obviously out of the question.

With his modified gem-finding spell and levitation, Seth showed that he could have won the battle as soon as it started if he knew how Lugnut worked. However, since the Equestrian Death Battle rules state that the combatants must have no prior knowledge of each other unless they've met in canon stories, he had to resort to fighting normally until he learned how to take down his opponent.

Looks like Big Lug just bot himself a ticket to the repair shop!

The winner is Seth Disarmonia.


Next time on the Equestrian Death Battle Tournament:

Well, a couple battles are being skipped. The story Rorry/Mirr came from has been rebooted, and so no information is present to judge them with; therefore, Rorry/Mirr has been disqualified. In addition, the author who submitted Bronze has been banned from the site; therefore, Bronze has also been disqualified. Sigma and Ice get byes and are instantly put through to the next round.

So the next battle will be Blue Breeze VS Quick Fix!

Who will win? Who will die? Find out next time!

PreviousChapters Next