I'm older than your average brony, but then I've always enjoyed cartoons. I'm an experienced reviewer, EqD pre-reader, and occasional author.
Sad4,351 stories ·2,622 members
Oh god! The FEELS!1,953 stories ·939 members
The Random257 stories ·32 members
Pinkie has a secret. So far, she's kept it from everyone, but Twilight can tell that something's wrong with her. So she offers what vague support she can… until Pinkie takes her into the basement to show her.
Fourth-place finisher in the "More Most Dangerous Game" contest, based on the Cupcakes prompt.
Featured on Equestria Daily!
Page generated in 0.226 seconds
Total duration
886 users online
573,063 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
My, in a cerebral way this was really, really dark. Very fine re-interpretation of the prompt. For all the viewpoint changes into Pinkie's mind, it wasn't clear that the injuries were those she sought to cause (I presume?), but it is addressed with adequate consistency that it is not a sticking point per se. As one who thoroughly enjoyed I Forgot I Was There and The Diary of Morning and Dusk, this one finds a similar place in my favor.
A very clever alternate take on Cupcakes; it's dark, but in a much more mature and meaningful way, and ends on a note of hope. Good job!
I couldn't help but notice you've misspelled "piñata".
5688851 In English, the absence of a tilde still constitutes an acceptable spelling.
This is powerful. You could really feel the struggle that Pinkie's going through, slipping away into madness and only with madness can she keep herself sane.
It hurts, in a good way. Bittersweet, even!
This did a great job of putting the reader into Pinkie's head. That made the whole situation and Pinkie's progress in working through it so much more powerful.
Hey, I wrote a review for this story. It can be found here.
Overall, I really liked the story, but I had one major issue that really bothered me, but I doubt will annoy most people.
A very powerful fic. I love the surprising twist to this.
Hmm... I'm curious as to why you chose this for Pinkie to have. I mean, yeah, this kind of OCD is a totally real thing. In fact, it's more common than what people imagine OCD to be like (I have to walk through the door exactly six times before I enter a room) I'd imagine. Still, this severity is interesting. As a guy who suffers from this kind of OCD myself, I'm curious how accurate you tried to go with it, as opposed to what fit the story.
Ah, scrupulosity? I rather liked seeing this story, I've had issues with that disease myself in the past (I refer to my sophomore year of college as the Year of Hell because of it). The not-hallucinations are new, though, but I guess I can chalk that up to a different case having different symptoms. Mine was less graphic but more persistent. But thanks. I liked seeing this. It was very true to what I remember.
GAH! SO GOOD!
My, my...
What a dark, twisted tale you've woven, Pascoite. Equally dark as Cupcakes, but you've handled it far better in my opinion - and your fic benefits quite well from it.
You've made a darkfic with none of the outright butchering of our favorite pastel ponies, and I can appreciate that.
You earn a like, fair sir/madam.
5719505 I agree. The levels of sheer Mindfuckery just....Made this like watching an unfinished building collapse in slow motion. so dark, but you can't look away.
I'm crying at the beauty of this story. So dark and chilling, yet so beautiful. All I can say is that you've really outdone yourself this time. I haven't enjoyed something this much since I read He Kindly Stopped for Me.
Hmm... by the time I finished reading the story and a few comments and gave it a thumbs up, 8 other people had done ths same. It jumped from 120 to 129.
That was like 30 minutes
A powerful story.
This......was Beautiful. *cry's* Thank you for this.
Never thought there'd come a day when I'd even finish a fic with so much as a tentative connection to the Cupcakes and Pinkamena memes, let alone thumbs-up and Favorite the thing once I was done, and yet here we are, living in very strange times indeed.
5689297 Before I read this does the story in anyway involve the same premise as the Creepy Pasta story Cupcakes?
5720562 I'm just about to start the story. If I had to guess going in, I'd say that Pinkie dosent want to cupcake Twilight, or maybe she has had a moment of clarity and is confessing her crimes to twilight. I'll tell you after I'm done if you like.
(Small spoiler)
It has something to do with cupcakes, but not in the way you might think.
Sounded more like she had severe schizophrenia to me, but I'm no expert. Anyway, interesting story.
Pascoite - this touches on an issue few people ever even realize exists... the mind can be incredibly cruel to a person... and often, the ones who smile brightest are the ones who are hurt the most. Thank you for writing this as it was, and not writing a "Cupcakes" clone :)
I don't like the premise itself, but this is incredibly well done and an emotional roller-coaster.
It was sad but good
5721016 it did sound a touch Schizophrenic but the control mechanisms to prevent the visions and hallucinations lead more into the realm of OCD as most sufferers truly feel that if the rituals are not followed then something terrible will happen. In this case Pinkie honestly believes that if she doesn't follow her happy birthday ritual that she will be forced to mutilate and kill one of her friends, now keep in mind that this is an extreme scenario and that OCD sufferers rarely have symptoms this severe. Often the "great bad thing" that will happen is that if they don't perform their rituals (in whatever incarnation they take) that somehow somewhere a puppy will get run over by a car (or something similar that they in reality have ZERO control over it happening or not)
Despite this fic not being what I thought it was going to be, it was really good. Thumbs up and Fav for you!
Wow I'm impressed
That was really great! I went in with fear for a gory mess, but this was well-thought, well-written, and well-deserving of top ten.
5721862
This
You managed to capture the feeling of OCD quite well. While never nearly as violent, or the consequences never so specific or graphic, the feeling of necessity behind the 'compulsions' was very accurate.
5720562 While it shares some similarities in concept with "Cupcakes," it is not nearly as bleak and barely has anything gory, and what's going on in the basement isn't the same. It's impossible to gauge others' tastes, so I can't promise you'd like it, but it's not something I'd say you'd automatically dislike if you also disliked "Cupcakes."
This was good; given the prompt this was unexpectedly good.
5722713 I loved cupcakes... But that shit gave me nightmares when I read it, and I don't really want to have anymore bad dreams for a long while. My life is finally looking up and I don't want anything to ruin that... So I guess I'll but this one my watch list and leave there to stew for a few years.
5723013 If that's the issue, then no, I can't imagine this giving you nightmares. It's not a horror story.
5723042 Hmm... Fine. I'll only put the story on hold for a week. I need to pump out the next chapter for my own story Unseeing Eyes (Sars BTW for using you for my personal propaganda). I pumped out a 1,000+ chapter (Which compared to other authors isn't much, but I poured a lot of work into it Damn it) and only got 1 review for it! So in revenge I'm putting up another chapter. Let's see if they still refuse to review after that!
This is really...really good. Like...wow. I can't even write-talk.
This was amazing! Pinkie Pie's struggle was exceptionally well written. I didn't want to put this story down. Have you considered making a sequel? I'd love to read one, but as it is, this a fantastic one-shot!
This a marvelous take on the prompt. And I love that it's Fluttershy that Pinkie can't think of hurting - it fits the show canon so well.
I never thought I would be able to enjoy a story based on the same premise as "Cupcakes".
Bravo sir (or madame), hats off to you.
I don't know exactly what to think of this book
I liked it but there were somethings that I think could have been done differently to make the story better
but it was a good story non the less
The story that originally got me into this whole Fanfic thing was 'Cupcakes'. And, I have to say this is a great story. A bit of nostalgia and a good way of explaining the whole story. You have written a great story. Until next time,
-Sphinx
Woah. As someponies said above: Powerfull.
At a few points I had - lets say - Cupcacian concerns. But I wasn't dissappointed. Not int the slightest.
This is a very fine written, fascinating work. Cudos dear author.
5723992 Book?
BOOK?
HOW DARE YOU
Besides that, this story is pretty dark.
Very dark. I don't usually read dark stories if they are one-shots, and this story isn't that different from the rest of the pile, but there is one thing that makes it stand out. I feel like after the incident, Twilight no longer sees Pinkie as Pinkie, more like a patient. I know she wouldn't think of her friend that way, but that's the impression she left on me.
Why do I keep listening to Twisted Nerve when reading things like this? It's really not a good idea...
Huh.
I expected a big twist at the end.
To be honest, I wasn't expecting that.
I thought the twist was that Twilight was the crazy one, and Pinkie Pie was her guilty subconscious the entire time.
When I first started reading this I thought that it was just a twisted Cupcakes thing. But I realized about halfway through it that this was just a 'phase' Pinkie was going through and of course our head Psychiatrist, Twilight Sparkle, steps in and make sure that Pinkie Pie doesn't hurt them for real. I must this wasn't bad but it wasn't my favorite either, thumbs up on getting us into Pinkie's mind though.
This was wonderful, which is a odd word to use for a story like this I suppose.
The whole idea of watching and experiencing Pinkie going through such a mental dilemma was very interesting, and a unique take on the whole Cupcakes idea that I haven't ever thought of. I preferred this take on it too, I feel like there is more of an art to writing about mental conditions than the whole other end of Cupcakes with the gore and horror aspects, not that there is anything wrong with those either.
Also, I liked using Fluttershy as Pinkie's way to help cope.
Awesome job!
DJRD
5722286 same here.
I was happy of the twist you added to cupcakes.
I hate the shit outa that story, but this was really nice... in a dark kinda way.
That was a beautiful story. I'm in tears. Tears of happyness.
I haven't really read many stories with the [Gore] tag but I saw this one on the front page and for whatever reason, decided to give it a try.
Was pleasantly surprised.