I'm older than your average brony, but then I've always enjoyed cartoons. I'm an experienced reviewer, EqD pre-reader, and occasional author.
Luna has waited for this moment for years. Only one other soul knows what will happen, and nobody would believe him, anyway. And so she waits to feel the life crushed from her. Only that way can Equestria live.
My entry for Obselescence's contest.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Here's where I invoke Fallout: Equestria so no one else has to. :V Good action in this!
15 views and 3 votes? Not in your stories gallery? I dun get it.
Too bad, ’cause it’s a good read.
4642469
For the moment, it's unpublished. I'm trying to decide whether to get it reviewed and try submitting it to Equestria Daily or go ahead and publish it here as is.
This was alright, but I never really got too invested in Jason, and him being the Element of Sacrifice felt... unnecessary? I got it ,but it just... didn't matter at all to the story, and didn't really add anything.
4707618
Not sure what you mean. He was the only one who could save Luna, and she had to let herself get into a situation where she needed saving, or everyone would have been killed. That's pretty integral to the proceedings.
4711796
Oh, no, I get that, but the whole "Element of Sacrifice" bit felt a bit... weird. Like, why did it matter that he was the Element of Sacrifice? He never used magical rainbow powers on anything.
4711804
That's exactly the point. He was completely non-magical, and that was the only way for it to work. Luna explained that to Twilight. Being an Element is more about the ability and willingness to fulfill a duty, not flashy displays. Jason was happy to remain anonymous, and Luna was happy to let him.
Interesting story. It doesn't really seem up to your usual standard - it felt a bit less well-formed than I expect for stories written by you - but overall I liked it, despite that and the obvious 'Human as Element' theme you challenged yourself with. Overall, nice work.
Good action and solid descriptions however the end didnt flow at all making it feel a little weird to read you could have taken this story in many directions but i feel as though there is not enough background to the story. You could have made it better by making more than one chapter in the first few being from lunas veiw describing snippets of the final out come. Maby left us wondering what would happen or helping the reader to speculate the ending. It all felt a bit rushed however the writing syle and the whole story in geneal was good.
¡Another Masterpiece!
The Element of Sacrifice... heh, it is something I would wager most people could never truly understand... how many people ever really have to sacrifice something important, something vital... something like their life? Very few... very few indeed...
Good enough.
Found this story through Scribbler's dramatic reading and thoroughly enjoyed it!
Novel idea well written - well done!
Very trilling with great shifts in pov to add to tension.